r/SSAChristian • u/MuzTelomAjDusou • 23h ago
Male You’re Only Considered a Member of the LGBTI+ Community When You Suit Their Agenda…?!
First, let me explain why I use the expression “the so-called LGBTI+ community.” Of course, I am not judging anyone who wishes to identify with this label. However, if we are going to use a term, it should not be community, because a community is a non-random group of people who know one another and share common goals. The reality, however, is that this is an extremely diverse group of people, with different ways of experiencing and expressing their sexuality, as well as different, often conflicting goals when it comes to building some kind of LGBTI+ culture.
Sometimes I wonder why, even in places where LGBTI+ activists have achieved everything they wanted, homosexuality and bisexuality are still concealed or denied in a substantial number of cases.
Is it still about having an unwanted sexual orientation?
Is it about sexuality being used sufficiently as a form of occasional entertainment, or being a stable part of a person's relational and emotional life (dependence versus need)?
Or is it about same-sex sexual activities still being perceived as forbidden and, precisely for that reason, particularly exciting?
Would coming out therefore reduce the excitement, or would it rather damage one's personal prestige? Would it deprive men, whether supposedly or actually, of some of their masculine energy and strength?
Is it kept secret because it is more frequently associated with casual sex? Or is it rather because of the social stereotype of a homosexual man as someone who is highly sexually active, extravagant, effeminate, and fond of public Pride parades, which, in reality, relatively few people with a minority sexual orientation genuinely take pride in?
Why is it most often concealed by those who otherwise do not present themselves as homosexual or bisexual in any way, give no indication of it, and would never be perceived as such by others?
How many predominantly heterosexual men have had a homosexual experience? Are they ashamed of it?
I refuse to identify as a member of the LGBTI+ community because I do not identify with the behaviour of activists who publicly speak on my behalf without my consent. I understand that many people want to be involved in activism because it helps them accept themselves, feel a sense of belonging, and keep their minds occupied. But I do not want to belong somewhere where lies and manipulation are used in pursuit of a “higher goal,” and where only one opinion is accepted and, when necessary, defended very aggressively.
I will give just two examples.
1. Information about the origins of homosexuality first appeared in the Slovak public sphere in a national newspaper in 1993, in an article entitled: “Scientists Have Discovered the Gene That Determines Sexual Orientation.”
This was deliberate manipulation and disinformation involving both scientists and the media. Of course, this was not the only claim with an international impact concerning the biological origins of homosexuality, claims that have now influenced almost two entire generations.
It is interesting that nobody ever seemed to mind these lies, speculations, and half-truths, and everyone was perfectly comfortable with them, while society, as a rule, responds very forcefully to disinformation on other subjects and strongly condemns those who spread it.
I received an enormous amount of negative feedback from both homosexual and heterosexual people in society, who attacked me for claiming that human sexual orientation is not innate, or that its innate component is so minimal that neither genetics nor biology can determine a person's sexuality in its relatively definitive form.
2. I experienced tremendous attacks from LGBTI+ activists who established subgroups or sects within Protestant or pseudo-Catholic churches. Their aim was, on the one hand, to recruit new fanatical followers through sophisticated but appealing propaganda and, on the other, to fight against Catholicism and, unfortunately, to attack Catholics aggressively.
Apparently, merely respecting homosexual relationships was not enough; they also had to be “Catholicised.”
I will never forget the attacks I received from these self-proclaimed “Believers,” with a capital B, because of what I publicly expressed about my own homosexuality.
Incidentally, since we are on the subject, what exactly should the Catholicisation of a homosexual relationship be based on?
The exact sciences have produced nothing relevant and conclusive, only misleading propaganda-driven and hypothetical publications. Psychological research into the origins of human homosexuality has been dismissed as unnecessarily provocative and unscientific.
Rigorous animal ethology has swept aside the idea that animals experience the qualities of human sexuality or possess a homosexual instinct in the human sense. It describes only behaviour resembling human homosexuality, which is highly unstable and rooted in other instincts: frustrated normal parental instincts, frustrated normal reproductive instincts, and social learning.
And even today, we continue to witness attempts to ridicule and manipulate opinions that differ from the mainstream.
Many people do not understand how human sexuality develops, so they argue that parents make their children homosexual by raising them with accepting attitudes towards homosexuality, or that Pride parades cause homosexuality.
Activists advocating for the rights of non-heterosexual people (excluding paedophilia, because that does not fit their agenda) then seize upon this ignorance, this obvious foolishness, and ridicule it instead of explaining the most plausible developmental pathways of human sexuality, which are extraordinarily complicated and complex and influenced by numerous psychosocial factors.
No. The objective is to allow no alternative explanation, to avoid explaining anything complicated, and to humiliate anyone who attempts to do so.
That is why no professional or scientist today will publicly share valuable clinical experience concerning human sexuality if it challenges the mainstream narrative.
This is how far we have gone and how low we have sunk through the use of modern “Nazi-like” methods which, although they do not literally murder people, establish a single accepted position by silencing those who point to reality.
We also keep talking about an intolerant society.
Hundreds of gay men have mocked me because of my appearance, my age, and my values. More than a few young people end up selling themselves in order to receive attention from at least someone, and some eventually find themselves seeking help from mental health professionals.
Nobody seems interested in, or willing to address, the suffering that takes place within homosexual and bisexual groups themselves: humiliation, ridicule, ghosting, being used once for whatever purpose, blackmail, and emotional harm inflicted in various ways and for various reasons.
Such behaviour is often presented as justified.
But what matters, apparently, is achieving some form of legal equality.
Someone can then tick a box marking the completion of a life's work full of lies and manipulation, with victims treated as an inevitable consequence.
I am a Catholic man with homosexual inclinations. Nowadays, most people respond to that with something like, “So what?”
I grew up in an environment where thoughts, words, and actions were either good or bad, with nothing in between, and where it was difficult to talk about negative emotions or experiences that fell outside the norm.
I was also attracted to girls, even during university. Some of them could make me feel genuinely sexually excited.
However, this gradually disappeared after I had repeatedly been hurt by women, something to which I was apparently extremely sensitive. This is particularly striking because men objectively hurt me a hundred times more, yet I never stopped being physically attracted to them.
My relationships with women and my trust in them were extremely fragile, probably because of the dominant influence of my mother and sister, which I experienced as threatening to my masculinity.
My father, unable to assert himself and constantly blamed and criticised, always stood on the sidelines like a servant in the house rather than at the head of the family as a fully valued member.
All of this reinforced my conviction that sexuality, particularly in young people, is never definitive. It is only relatively stable, and even that stability generally emerges in adulthood.
Sexuality develops intensively during youth and is inseparably connected with how we experience relationships, our emotions, our internal attitudes towards ourselves and both sexes, and events experienced with particular intensity by a highly sensitive personality from early childhood onwards, even when those events appear to have little to do with sexuality.
Put simply, every form of sexuality, even before it becomes activated and established, has its predispositions in numerous non-sexual areas of psychosocial development.
Once activated, and therefore connected with sexual experience and subsequently reinforced by one's own activities, its further development becomes relatively unstoppable and independent of external factors.
It is accomplished. Or: What is done is done.
The expression “the unfamiliar attracts” captures early romantic and sexual experiences particularly well: what has not been experienced, internalised, emotionally processed, or confirmed, and what still feels foreign, can become especially attractive.
When it came to men, I was not one of them in the sense of feeling that I legitimately belonged among them. I was merely an outside observer.
How could I have developed their predominantly heterosexual sexuality when, since childhood, I had only been searching for love, appreciation, validation, and acceptance from men, without having any reserve or capacity to present my own masculinity proudly, use it to attract others, or court women who, at the level of personality and emotional experience, did not seem fundamentally different from me?
And often I had already had more than enough female influence in my life.
I had been different since childhood, not in my sexuality, but in the way I perceived and interpreted signals from the outside world. As a result, I was emotionally hurt more deeply than another person might have been in the same environment.
I was constantly trying to catch up with other men, but I never managed to reach them.
Yes, this was connected with my mother and father, my family, bullying at school, and other experiences.
My mother did not allow me to separate emotionally from her. She reinforced my attachment to her by belittling my father in front of me and pushing him away from me for various reasons: so that he would not hurt me, so that he would not fill my head with nonsense, and so on.
Consequently, I began to perceive the male sex as something unacceptable, weak, and unworthy of the attention and love of the woman I idolised: my mother.
As one psychiatrist writes:
“...Today, we already know that certain biological changes and changes in the brain occur, probably through epigenetic mechanisms, precisely under the influence of how a person is treated, the images of identification figures and their relationships, overt trauma, subtle subconscious emotional injuries, and so on.
These are experiences that a person absorbs and perceives from childhood onwards and that become reflected in their self-image, desires, fantasies, and needs.
In this way, they become a relatively permanent part of a person's identity: they become fixed.
Despite the relative stability of sexuality in an adult whose physical development was completed more than ten years ago, excluding psychosocial influences from its development and formation is either sheer amateurism or deliberate bias within professional circles.
Psychosocial theories of the development of human sexuality have not been disproven. They have merely been overshadowed by biological theories under intense lobbying pressure...”
I could give many more examples of how I was hurt during childhood and adolescence, unintentionally by my parents and intentionally by others, and how these experiences permanently affected my psychosexual health.
But this is not my confession. It is rather an expression of sorrow over everything I had to go through.
Because of what I have come to understand, however, I find it difficult to fit into either the homosexual or heterosexual world, because of the cruelty I have encountered and the way anyone holding a different opinion on this sensitive subject is punished, even when that opinion is supported by personal experience.
But why do these attacks happen?
Is it because such views deviate from society's collective mental conditioning? Because the truth is difficult to understand? Or because it threatens or hurts people?
Why is there such hatred towards a minority within a minority?
And why does the larger part of that minority feel the need to make us the same as them at any cost?
As a Catholic, I understand everything my Church teaches because I have examined it carefully and analysed each teaching from a psychological perspective as well.
Most of it makes sense to me, although many sensitive issues are communicated very poorly by the Church. Moreover, the considerable number of hypocrites within the Church leaves a bitter aftertaste.
If you ask me whether being homosexually oriented within the Church is difficult for me, my answer would be yes.
However, being in a relationship with a man would be equally difficult for me, if not more so, because I have had hundreds, not merely dozens, of extremely negative experiences with homosexual men.
I understand the Catholic Church's position on homosexuality. What I find missing, however, is the psychological dimension.
Of course, I do not expect theology to provide psychology.
If you ask me why I do not leave the Church so that I can freely have sex with anyone I find attractive, I would answer that, although I am far from being an exemplary Catholic, I would miss God, the moral foundations that guide me, including in sexuality, and the opportunity to make my Church a better place for myself and others without changing its foundations.
I believe this is possible. But if we all leave, it will never happen.
Besides, I do not want to have sex with everyone I find attractive who expresses an interest in me.
Nothing can replace genuine love.
And I believe that Jesus' love was infinite and non-sexual.
My hope is that such love can also exist between human beings, including between men who may never have experienced this kind of love before.
At the same time, I am fully aware of all the ways in which my own sexuality has been wounded.
I am happy that I know my sexuality very well, that I understand how it developed throughout my life, and that I have carefully identified all the influences that shaped me.
And I am glad that neither the Church nor liberal activists made my decisions for me. I decided for myself how I want to live my life.
Nevertheless, I still have one problem.
I have not been able to find people who feel similarly to me and with whom I could share everyday life through meaningful and beautiful friendships.
In traditional Catholic communities, I found the experience somewhat sad.
And in liberal LGBTI+ groups of unconventional Christians, I felt a great deal of tension. I could not freely express what I felt. I constantly had to monitor what I said so as not to drop a “bombshell” into the conversation.
Perhaps what I am really looking for is psychologically healthy people who are happy with their lives and whose views fall within the conservative spectrum.
But I am afraid that finding all three qualities in the same person may be impossible.