My son is currently in the 4th grade and has an IEP. I was very unfamiliar with the IEP process when we started this journey (I still am), but I am getting help with a local resource group. Some of my concerns are that the IEP doesn't match his report card. His report cards show that he is a D student, and while he's social, he can't keep friends because he can't read the room. His IEP focused on organization in the 2nd grade and for 3rd grade all the executive function issues were dropped because he "met the criteria". Currently, the IEP is focused on improving his reading. Honestly, the reason his grades are a D average is because he's not organized! So from the resources that I've reached out to, they suggested I request an OT assessment for fine motor and sensory, and speech because of his articulation, hearing and spelling (for example, he thought SpongeBob was spongeboP for the longest time).

I requested the assessments, and the speech pathologist is asking why I am requesting it because he already had an assessment in 2024 and is fine.

The letter I had sent stated that I was concerned with his articulation, processing, spelling, socialization, and task completion. I don't know how to respond to the speech pathologist since my original letter already mentions why I would like an assessment. Am I barking up the wrong tree or do I need to request a specific type of speech assessment?

Edit: he has been diagnosed with ADHD and ASD level 1. Currently medicated.

My autistic son was bullied for years at a school he’d attended since kindergarten. I’m finally ready to hold them accountable.
I apologize in advance for the long post, but I’m a mother who’s been carrying so much anger, guilt, and heartbreak over what happened to my son, and I need to get this off my chest.
My son Vincent is 15 years old. He’s autistic, has ADHD, an IEP, and was born with microtia, leaving him deaf in one ear. But none of those things define who he is.
He’s one of the most intelligent, gentle, and fascinating kids you’ll ever meet. His mind is incredible. He absolutely LOVES history, science, aviation, and anything that allows him to learn. He’s the kind of kid who can talk your ear off about historical events or explain something you’ve never even heard of. He’s incredibly articulate, has an amazing vocabulary, and is so creative.
He loves making comics and creating his own stories. He would spend his recess and lunch doing just that, perfectly content in his own little world. And his Bible. 🥺 My sweet boy carried his Bible around, studied Scripture, and memorized verses. His faith meant so much to him.
That’s the child I’m talking about. A sweet, intelligent, quirky little boy who just wanted to exist, learn, and enjoy the things he loved.
And other children made his life miserable for it.
Vincent attended the same K–8 school since kindergarten. These weren’t strangers. This was a school where teachers, counselors, and administrators had watched him grow up. They knew he had disabilities. They knew he had an IEP. They knew his struggles socially and emotionally.
Yet somehow, my child was repeatedly bullied.
Students mocked his stimming, put notes on his back, made fun of him, and humiliated him. He came home crying. My son, who already struggled socially, was being targeted for the very things that made him different.
And I reported it. Over and over.
I have emails, dates, documentation, conversations, and statements made by school administrators. I didn’t just sit back and allow this to happen. I tried to advocate for my son while trusting that the adults responsible for his safety would do their jobs.
I even witnessed bullying myself while chaperoning a school field trip. Imagine being a parent, seeing it with your own eyes, and still feeling like you’re fighting to convince the school that your child is being mistreated.
What absolutely breaks my heart is that Vincent eventually stopped reporting incidents because he felt nobody believed him or that nothing would be done. Another student even reported bullying against him.
Do you know how heartbreaking it is to realize your child has stopped asking adults for help because he’s learned not to expect anything from them?
And don’t even get me started on the principal.
At one point, this man told my son that he himself had been bullied because of the color of his skin, because he was a brown Latino. We’re lighter-skinned Latinos ourselves, but what the FUCK did that have to do with my son’s experience?
My child was coming to adults for help, and instead of focusing on what was happening to him, the principal was comparing it to his own childhood experiences. I felt like he was minimizing the hell out of what my son was going through. And yes, I documented those comments too.
The principal and counselor repeatedly left me feeling like excuses were being made rather than meaningful action being taken.
I cannot explain the amount of anger I have toward that school.
And the worst part? All of this was happening while I was going through one of the most emotionally devastating periods of my own life. I was dealing with my mother’s cancer, her decline, and eventually losing her. I was grieving, exhausted, and trying to keep myself together while still fighting for my child.
I carry so much guilt over that time. Not because I didn’t advocate for him, because God knows I did, but because I wonder what more I could’ve done. What I missed. Whether I should’ve pulled him out sooner. Whether I trusted the wrong people for too long.
I eventually made the decision to homeschool him.
And while I’m grateful that he’s no longer in that environment, I’m angry that it came to that. Why did MY child have to leave? Why was he the one who had to lose the school he’d known since kindergarten?
He should’ve been able to finish those years surrounded by people who supported him.
I’m in a much better headspace now than I was when all of this was happening. I can finally look back at everything without feeling completely consumed by grief and emotional exhaustion. And the more I look back, the angrier I get.
I’m retrieving his school records tomorrow. I understand some of the other students’ names may need to be redacted because they’re minors, but I want to see EXACTLY how the school documented my complaints. What did they write? What did they investigate? What actions did they claim to take? And does any of it match the documentation I’ve kept?
Because I have receipts. SO many receipts.
I’m also contacting a special education attorney ASAP. I want someone to review what happened, including whether the school failed to protect my son’s rights under his IEP and special education laws.
And let me tell you something about my son. He’s not incapable of telling his own story because he’s autistic. Quite the opposite. That boy is incredibly intelligent and articulate. He remembers what happened, and he deserves to have his voice heard. If this ever ends up in court, I want him to have the opportunity to speak for himself in whatever way is appropriate and comfortable for him.
I know legal action isn’t guaranteed, and I know I have a lot to figure out. But I’m prepared to fight for accountability if that’s where this leads.
What hurts the most is remembering the little boy walking around with his Bible, making his comics, talking about history and science, just being Vincent. He wasn’t hurting anybody. He wasn’t asking for anything extraordinary.
He just wanted to be accepted.
And the adults who were supposed to protect him let him down.
I’m his mother. I was supposed to be able to send him to school and know he was safe. Instead, I watched my child suffer, lose trust in the adults around him, and eventually leave the only school he’d ever known.
My baby didn’t deserve that. Not one fucking bit.
I’m not looking for revenge against children. I’m looking for accountability from the adults and the institution that had a responsibility to protect mine.
If you’re a parent of an autistic child who’s experienced bullying, especially if you’ve pursued legal action against a school district, I’d really appreciate hearing your experience. What should I look for in his school records? Did having an IEP make a difference in your case?
I’m done staying quiet about what happened to my son. ❤️‍🩹

My son is a dual diagnosis of ADHD and ODD. He is conflict-seeking and his Therapist says he's stuck in this coercive loop, the more consequences he is met with, the more defiant he becomes at school. He's in the 7th grade of a charter school, last Wednesday, he became triggered when his 1:1 behavior aide attempted to take him to the SpEd room, got paranoid other kids were talking bad about it. Then he insulted the teacher, shoved a kid, got sent to the Principal's office, where he became aggressive, throw objects, said he didn't care about getting sent to juvenile hall.

School Psych says he knows how to reset, box breathing, step away, grounding, etc... but is unable to do so when he is emotionally dis-regulated.

I have an emergency IEP meeting on Wednesday, I will formally request my son to be placed in an IIP (intense intervention program) as General Ed, even with the 1:1 aide, is still not adequate. At home, he doesn't get violent, but we do see a lot of his oppositional and defiance symptoms/tendencies. Likely means we'll need to transfer him to the public school district. My son's BIP is outdated, so we will be revisiting it as well.

He's in Therapy with a provider that specializes in teens, is on 100mg of Qelbree that helps him with focus, we probably will be upping the doze to 200mg. At home, I no longer raise my voice at him. I reinforce good behaviors with rewards, and take away privileges for bad behaviors.

Any advice on how to help my son turns things around?

I have a 12 student class that is, I think, tired and unable to focus due to mental and physical fatigue in the last hour and a half of the day. Since I know executive function and control are at the lowest and outbursts and disregulation are potentially at the highest what should I do with this period? I am thinking of crafting, art, boardgames and a free period. There is too much pushback to even read a story. I am experienced with neurotypical students. Any suggestions would be appreciated. My students can focus and hyper focus on projects that they come up with or that they find interesting. Please help.

Hii I'm an undergraduate special education student graduating next year. At first I wanted to pursue a master's in special education, but it's extremely competitive in my country, and I don't think I can beat other stronger candidates. I'd like to know if studying abroad is a good option for me? I'd love to hear your thoughts on doing a master's.

I've realized that in other places, special education and disability rehabilitation are two different fields (here they're usually studied together), and I lean more toward the latter.

Thank you very much!!:)

Hi does anyone do sped advocacy for families in lower southwestern CT? If so please comment Thanks

Hi everyone,

I’m hoping to get some guidance from parents, advocates, or special education attorneys who have experience with NYC DOE impartial hearings and pendency (stay-put) rights.

We filed a due process complaint in September 2026 for the 2026–2027 school year, but we still have not received a pendency determination or the corresponding service authorizations.

Our attorney believes that the previous Impartial Hearing Officer’s Final Order of Findings and Decision (FOFD) establishes the basis for pendency. However, when I asked why the authorizations have not been issued, I was told that the attorney is still trying to obtain a pendency determination from the current IHO and is unsure whether it will be issued before our upcoming hearing.

From my understanding, NYC OATH guidance indicates that pendency protections generally apply once a due process complaint is filed and that a separate pendency hearing may be requested if there is a dispute.

Here is what I am struggling to understand:

1. If the previous FOFD establishes the basis for pendency, why would the current IHO delay issuing a pendency determination?
2. If the DOE has not formally disputed pendency or the services awarded under the previous FOFD, what could be preventing the issuance of service authorizations?
3. Has anyone experienced a similar delay with NYC DOE If so, how was it resolved?

I have asked my attorney to provide copies of any written requests, motions, or correspondence submitted to the IHO seeking a pendency determination, along with any responses received.

One additional concern: We have been scheduled for a hearing in November 2026 regarding the 2026–2027 school year, but our annual IEP meeting for this school year has not even taken place yet.

I am trying to understand how the hearing can proceed pendency issue remains unresolved in the meantime.

I would greatly appreciate hearing from anyone who has navigated a similar situation, particularly in NYC.

Thank you for your guidance and support!

Hi! Not sure if this is the correct place to post this but I’m going to try anyway.

To make a very very long story short:

My son was born at 25 weeks in January 2023. Had a grade 4 brain bleed that went away before being discharged from NICU. Left NICU with gtube. Didn’t start walking until 22 months. Is almost 4 and can speak in small sentence but cannot carry a conversation and still babbles most times. He is having a hard time potty training. He was in OT and Speech but due to insurance reasons we had to stop for about a year and a half. Currently back in!

I wanted him to join pre school, but because he isn’t potty trained, they wouldn’t accept him. We’ve opted for a structured daycare 3x a week. He’s the oldest in his class and I sometimes pity myself when I know I shouldn’t. Somewhere along the line I feel I messed up?

Anyway. During his OT appt, she had suggested I call a school that helps children with developmental delays but that I would need a neuropsych eval referral first. I messaged his pediatrician and he said I would need to set up an appointment to see if the neuropsych eval is appropriate.

I guess my question(s) would be: If his doctor feels it’s not necessary what do I do? I feel like my son is very behind on a lot of things and acts more like a 2-2.5 year old, which is fine, I would just want to have him somewhere they can pay closer attention to him and help him on his needs. And I’ve looked into IEP for Florida and I’m just overall confused and overwhelmed with the information. I’m also 6 month postpartum so I feel like I failed my son and can’t give him enough attention with the baby being around. I’m a mess! Any advice would be helpful. Thanks a bunch!