r/OCPoetry • • Mar 09 '22

Welcome to OCP -- PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING

512 Upvotes

TL;DR You need to give feedback on two other poems before you can share your own poem, and then put links to that feedback in your post. If you don't know how to give feedback, read the guide. Reusing feedback links will result in a ban.

Heyo, welcome to OCpoetry. (That’s “original content” if you don’t know). This is a place for sharing and getting feedback on your own poems. We are the sister subreddit of r/Poetry, which is for sharing and discussing published poetry. Our goal is to create a place where anyone can learn to become a better creative writer, kind of like a free online writer's workshop.

This post is an orientation to the subreddit. If you’re new, read this before sharing your work. If you’re less new, then read this anyways, as it has a few changes to how we've done things in the past. If you’ve still got questions after reading this post, please send a modmail. There are some FAQs at the end of this post which will be updated as we go. We also have a huge and very disorganized wiki containing all of our resources, essays on how to write poetry and historic writing prompts, I recommend you check it out.

So, here’s basically how it works:

This subreddit works on a pay-it-forward system. If you want to share a poem, you need to give feedback to two others from this subreddit. This ensures that everyone gets some readers and hears some response, rather than just shouting their verses into the void. If you don’t think you’re up to writing feedback for others just yet, we recommend you check out r/Justpoetry or r/Poems, where there are no requirements for sharing your work.

1. All posts must include two links to recent feedback.

Every post must contain two unique links to your comments where you have provided feedback on this subreddit within the past two weeks. Feedback links cannot be reused for multiple post or reposts of old poems. All posts without feedback links will be removed, without notice by our subreddit robot so make sure they are included in your initial post -- you cannot post with the intent to add them later.

But, how do I get the links to my feedback comments?

That kind of depends on what platform you're on. If you're on desktop or on a third-party mobile app, there should be a 'share' or 'permalink' link underneath every comment on Reddit. Clicking on that should give you a unique URL to your comment. Just copy + paste that into the body of your post.

If you're on the official Reddit app, you'll have to click 'share' on the comment and choose the 'Copy URL' option, paste that into your notes with the body of your poem. Then copy and paste the entire thing into a new post on the Reddit app.

2. At least one of your comments should be on a poem that has received no other comments.

This ensures that everyone has a chance to get a few reads and hopefully some decent feedback. If for whatever reason you can’t find any lonely poems, then comment on the poem that seems to have received the least amount of feedback. The easiest way to do this is to sort posts by new.

3. Feedback must be high-effort.

High-effort means different things to different people. It does not mean “super long” or “expert quality”. But it does mean doing more than the bare minimum.

You don't have to complement, criticize, or try to figure out the "deeper meaning". You should try to notice your own reactions and explain them as best as you can. If you want to explain your interpretation or summary of the piece, you can and this is often helpful to the writer. If the poem made you laugh or cry, feel bored, confused or nostalgic — say so, and then explain why you think it did. A good rule of thumb is that each of your feedback comments should be at least a short paragraph.

We understand that giving other writers feedback on their creative work can feel a bit artificial or uncomfortable, if you’ve never done it before. That’s why we’ve written a feedback guide for beginners. There are more feedback guides linked in the FAQ below. You should also read some of the other feedback comments around the sub to get a feel for what works for others. Poems that link to low-effort feedback, and low-effort comments themselves, will be removed at mod discretion, or if you report it to us. However, we’re less interested in policing you and more interested in helping you grow as readers and writers. We are more likely to ask you follow-up questions, than remove your work entirely. The mods skulk the comments sections and will ask follow-up questions on comments that seem a little thin, and please answer those questions if you get any.

4. Please Be Kind.

Treat each other with kindness and respect. The mods have an incredibly strict definition for each of these concepts. We will proactively remove comments and poems and ban users that make others feel unwelcome or unsafe. Your right to creative expression does not extend to poetry that promotes misogyny, homo/trans/queerphobia, racism, etc. If your poetry’s especially violent or covers sensitive subjects, please label it with the NSFW tag or a content warning in the title. Harsh criticism is allowed -- encouraged, really -- as long as you’re being harsh on the poem, not the person. Remember that the narrator (or the “speaker”) of the poem is not necessarily the author.

5. Audio, video, and image poems are allowed; but the text of the poem must be included in the body of the post.

This is so that people can still enjoy your poem if they're unable to view or listen to your link for whatever reason.

6. You may include a link to your poetry blog at the end of your post.

Or your instagram, or your personal creative project, or your soundcloud, or your Etsy page. As long as it's poetry-adjacent that's cool with us. Just don't get spammy.

Attempting to dodge any of these rules, or abuse directed towards moderators enforcing these rules, will earn you an immediate ban.

FAQs

What do the Poem & Workshop flairs do?

They simply allow you to show your intentions and expectations for the piece you are posting. The Poem flair is for sharing a piece, with the expectation of receiving mostly surface-level feedback and general advice. The Workshop flair is for a piece that you really want to work on, something you want to pick apart and analyse. It signals that you are open to discussing the piece, and that you invite strong critique.

How do I format my poetry on Reddit?

The following is advice for formatting in Markdown. Two spaces at the end of a line gives you a line break.
Type two spaces at the end of a line, then hit enter twice for a stanza break.

Three dashes "___" will give you a line through the post.


Type two spaces to create an empty line,

so you can get lines

that look like this.

 Four spaces before each line will allow you 
to format however you like, this is 'code block' 
       in the Fancy Pants editor. 

one asterisk before and after a piece of text will give you italics, two asterisks for bold.

Can I print one of these poems out/use it on my instagram with my art/put it in my book?

Ask the author. Part of what makes this space a useful workshop space is that everyone feels safe to share their stuff; if people start using poetry without the author's permission, or god forbid, trying to pass off another artist's work as their own, the userbase of this sub will feel less safe to do so. Please, ask the author, and then do what they say.

I'm thinking about trying to get my poem published somewhere. What should I do?

The standard thing is to find a literary journal. There are a zillion literary journals and magazines all over the world. They have different themes, tastes, styles, audiences, readerships, levels of prestige. Some charge fees for submission, some do not, some will pay you if you get accepted, some don't, some will give you feedback, some won't let you know anything for months. So first you'll want to pick a few of your poems, get some feedback from some trusted readers (or from here, of course) and then start looking for a journal that's a good home for your work. Most lit journals have submissions periods where they accept all the work for their next issue, and then sift through everything they get.

You will probably get a lot of rejections. This is normal. It's kind of a numbers game. You can submit the same poem to multiple journals as long as the journal says something like "simultaneous submissions are allowed". If you do get accepted, congrats! Most journals want 'first publication rights' or 'first serial rights' or something similar, so that means you'll have to tell all the other journals you submitted that poem to that you've been published elsewhere. (For that reason we strongly recommend deleting your poem from reddit if you want to submit it to a journal -- technically and legally speaking, writing a post on reddit is still considered publishing your work, and reddit owns all the text on the site.)

Here are some places to get you started looking for journals:

Duotrope and Submittable are two apps that help you search for journals, and help you track what poems you've submitted to which places. Submittable is free, Duotrope is not. They are GREAT.

Poets & Writers has a list of lit journals, small presses, and writing contests. This is a great place to start. They also have a newsletter listing all the presses and journals going into their submissions period.

I'd also check out r/literarycontests, if you fancy yourself as a prize winning poet.

A few poetry podcasts

I thought I might include a few podcasts that helped me learn a little more about the history and craft of poetry, as well as find some good poets to read. All of these are available on Spotify, as well as many other platforms.

The New Yorker Poetry Podcast

A poet reading and discussing a poem from the New Yorker archives, as well as one of their own pieces. A great place to find good poetry and hear some discussion of craft. The earlier episodes are with Paul Muldoon, who is delightful.

The Faber Poetry Podcast

Two poets read and discuss their work, with plenty of talk about craft. As well as lots of poems sent in from authors across the world. They really get shoulder-deep into it, which is always wonderful to hear.

In Our Time

A group of experts are brought together to discuss a subject over forty-five minutes. This isn’t strictly a poetry podcast, but there are hundreds of episodes on poets and poems of the past. I highly recommend the episode on The Green Knight with Simon Armitage.

Homemade projects and useful links to our Wiki

The best of OCP

Collections of work from OCP, selected from the top karma earners of that year.

Year 1-3
Year 4 Year 5
Year 6

We/R/Poetry

A homemade journal created by the users and moderators of OCP.

Volume one
Volume two

Guides on the craft from our Wiki

Created by moderators of OCP through the years.

Poetry Primer
Bad Poetry
The Body Poetic
Poetry Hacks
A Brief History of Rhyme


r/OCPoetry • • 15d ago

Poetry Contest PROMPT: Rattle Ekphrastic Challenge, October 2026

5 Upvotes

Hi everyone. One of the OCPoetry mods here. Let's share a prompt for the whole subreddit. (If this looks familiar, we did it last month too.)

 

Every month Rattle, a leading poetry magazine, presents a visual work of art and asks poets to respond to that artwork in poetry. This is called ekphrastic poetry. I thought it would be fun to post that here for anyone looking for inspiration or a challenge.

 

Here is this month's artwork. Your challenge is to write a poem in response to that art.

 

Normal feedback rules do not apply to this thread. Write and share as many poems in response to that artwork as you'd like.

 

Also, if you feel like you've written something really excellent, you should know that Rattle DOES allow you to submit poems to them for publication that have appeared in online forums. (Most magazines consider those already published; Rattle allows internet-shared poems as long as they're "uncurated," i.e., haven't gone through an editorial process. I can assure you that here on OCPoetry we do not have any kind of editorial process.) So if you're feeling particularly ambitious, you can use that link above to submit your poem to them. It's a long shot — they get hundreds of entries every month, maybe thousands at this point idk, and only two are selected — but it's good practice if you're thinking about getting into publication and can manage the mixture of pride in your work and almost certainty of rejection that goes into the literary magazine publication process.

 

Anyway, enjoy the challenge! I hope you have fun. If enough people enjoy this I can make it a regular thing.


r/OCPoetry • • 2h ago

Feedback Please First time sharing a poem with the public, thoughts / feedback?

2 Upvotes

Foreigner

I am always a foreigner.
The words float off a stranger's tongue:
“Where are you really from?”
It means nothing to them,
Yet strips away my sense of home.

I was born twenty minutes away,
Yet look five thousand miles removed.
My culture feels like a costume,
Dressed up for a day, unapproved.

Here, I am not one of them.
There, I am not one of them.
My American accent is jarring,
My Asian accent does not blend.

Neither here, nor there.
“You are not one of us.”
Nobody speaks of the longing we carry,
For a belonging we cannot find.

Home is where the heart is, they say.
Where is my heart?
Where is my home?

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1x88lcd/comment/phcyhnv/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1x8fido/comment/phcy0wo/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button


r/OCPoetry • • 4h ago

Feedback Please The Immortality of Ink

2 Upvotes

They say if once a writer loves,

the loved one shall not die;

then let me offer immortality,

and keep you thereby.

He lit his candle against the night

and wrote what none could hear;

he gave his heart to lifeless pages

and called the silence dear.

He sent his words beyond his door,

to hearts he’d never known;

but none returned to tell him

he need not write alone.

Perhaps, he thought, no soul could see

the world he’d come to know;

perhaps the things that filled his heart

were his to bear alone.

And when his hand grew cold at last,

his final page lay still;

the ink dried dark, the candle died,

the night outlived his will.

Yet years beyond his numbered days,

when dust had claimed his name,

a stranger found his book one dusk

and felt an answering flame.

He read, and felt his sorrow rise,

his guarded heart laid bare;

the words he could not speak himself

were waiting for him there.

He wept beside the windowpane

while rain swept through the night;

for someone, long before his birth,

had known his soul outright.

Had I but come when you were here,

I’d have stayed beside your door;

I’d have listened to your every word,

and asked for nothing more.

But earth had closed its patient hand,

and time would not undo;

the reader held the book and mourned

the friend he never knew.

For when a writer loves a thing,

he gives it life unknown;

and though his heart lies still in earth,

it finds another home.

1

2


r/OCPoetry • • 4h ago

Feedback Please Divine punishment

2 Upvotes

Time and time again my ears have caught

A man's love can only be suffused through the body

So, my dearest beloved

Let us make love until our limbs fall off

Let my curves straighten up on the bed

Let your twisted fingers align to my spine

And by then, I surely hope the vicar won’t scoff !

/
Any guessing on what the ending entails is welcome ! :)

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/rwdNKQyfJJ

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/kE1ZHJ9DYK


r/OCPoetry • • 9h ago

Feedback Please You. Still you?

3 Upvotes

I still waken with you on my mind,

Like a falcon frozen to a telephone pole, waiting for a voice on a disconnected line.

A running loop trying to catch its corner

My heart longs for a version of you that I no longer know exists anywhere other than memories

Why does my heart want the one who caused me to krazy glue the pieces back together?

Constantly replaying an archive of laughter scrubbed clean of the tears and fear

I thought we had time,
More time than we did.

We could have deforested this planet ourselves,
But instead.

I write this with the only surviving piece left of the forest we’ve already cut down

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/EAKdA7AgPN

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/1dHnrJs73q


r/OCPoetry • • 12h ago

Just Sharing The Blushing Moon

7 Upvotes

The stars are shining even brighter tonight—
for they caught the moon blushing in secret.

Ah, the poor thing doesn't even know
our hearts have already entwined—
while, unaware of our little secret,
it has gone and fallen in love with you.

(https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/gqskyq3inK)

(https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/61Ze2OG0Kn)


r/OCPoetry • • 3h ago

Just Sharing A couple years ago (For Griffin)

1 Upvotes

A couple years ago I looked onto this same water and. Wished it took me away

I was probably wearing one. Of those stupid hippie sskirts I found in a dumpster

I looked like I crawled out of one too, I hadnt been brave enough to shower in weeks

I sat and I texted you and now I sit here alone

A couple years ago ma got mad that morning and powered hot. Coffee on my. Hand.

I told you about. It and you felt bad for me, I think I felt worse

Luckily I walked down here and the cold helped

A couple years ago I sat by the highway and I watched the cars go by like wild birds and I told you how much I love cars

You told me cars are killing the planet and killing society

I called you a negative bitch

I think I get what you mean now but at the time the concept of freedom the concept of convience it all seemed so beautifully foreign to me

I think we both believe in a lot of things though

I think you think but don't act

I think I act but don't think

I think either way our family will never really love us for who we are

A couple years ago I saw a boat at the pier called The Lexington like where you live

Where you build your own cage surrounded by the ability to break free but refusing it to stay in a familiar cycle

I think I get that now I think you make a lot more sense to me now

A couple years ago we complained about money for hours, at least you could buy food. I called u while I collected cans I cried to you about how much my stomach hurt and how jealous I was of eveeyone else

you tried to help but you know damn well how stubborn and independent I used to be.

You said it was crazy that nobody else in our family even could figure what was going on. You said I reminded you of "a little rat girl" because I dug around for scraps of food abandoned in the snowy trash cans.

Now I have more then I could've ever dreamed you abandoned me.

A couple years ago I told you I wanna live on a boat one day so I could go wherever I wanted from coast to coast forever

You told me you could never live anywhere but a city again

But you told me you want me to be happy wherever that is if that was on a boat or in Portland or in Brooklyn where id end up about a week later

I think I'd be happy if you were still here

I thinkhink I'd be happy if you didn't fuck up

I think I'd be happy if we figured our shit out together like we promised

"We're in this together" you'd always say and today I wish you'd say it again

A couple years ago you told me you were taking edibles again and drinking again

You told me I was right you had a problem but you couldn't stop, not this time and that you were sorry

I said I forgave you I said I didn't take it personally and I knew you were trying

A couple years ago I sat by the pier and I cried, I cried and wondered if I didn't mean enough to you for you to quit

A couple years later I know I didn't, I didn't even mean enough to you for you to stick around, for you to protect me, for you to protect me from yourself even

A couple years ago you were the first person in our family I told what she was doing to me,

A couple months before that I think you knew

You were drunk and I told you I felt like ma was doing "emotional incest" you asked if it went farther and I lied that it didn't

But in tears and desperation I broke my silence to you in desperate trust you promised you'd keep it secret. Now I keep what you did secret, cuz we keep secrets for each other don't we?

I don't even talk to any of them anymore but your the one I think about the most all these years later

A couple years ago when she'd try to break my door down you'd text me and talk to me to distract me

You'd ask me about the music I liked and send me songs

We listened to this one sad indie song. It captured how stuck and desperate we both were but the emptiness felt a little less sharp knowing I could cry on your shoulder

You would tell me you knew me my whole life but felt like you just met me after your divorce

A couple years ago we told each other everything. You texted me at work I texted you at school you'd call me drunk id call you high you told me your fantasies, desites and longings even the ones about me

I can't say I didn't like the attention

A couple years ago you broke the rule, you were drunk and lonely and done with everything and you did what you promised you'd never do.

Incest is like world wars, kinda funny it happened twice (from two different people)

I think it's something in the bourbon making our family wanna do this shit

I don't know if you leaving or you starting hurt worse

I don't know if you feel bad, I'm sure you do

I'm not sure how I feel about you

A couple months ago the DR at the facility told me you wanted to talk to me again, you wanted to make ammends, to resolve things.

I was hesitant but I was lonely and I missed you

I thought about it for weeks and weeks asking about you non-stop I was scared but secretly excited kinda like how I was excited but secretly scared when i ranaway to Bushwhick as you rebemember.

You told me I'd be happy once I got there and there wasn't so much suspense anymore and I think I'm happier that I didn't talk to you now that the suspense is over

I don't think your a bad person I dont think your a good one either

I don't think you have ur shit together enough to challenge everything that's been impressed upon you so you drink and you drink and you drink and get high because its the only time you feel real. I think your scared Griffin

Today I'm at the same water where I had a mental breakdown at you and you were there for me. I tried to call but it went to voicemail, if you did pickup i dont know what id say

I hope you miss me a couple years later!

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/7VzUZqM9iN


r/OCPoetry • • 4h ago

Just Sharing Dealing with a breakup and thought I’d express it through poetry

1 Upvotes

Parking lot Thoughts

Took a day off work
So I can try and lay low

Since these poor kids have to deal with a lost soul.

You choose to not speak to me and live your life
Telling me Monday could make it "right"

When I would reach out and try to understand you would become upset and tell me become a man.

The ring you gave me with so much emotion,
Has yet to go back on my finger, because of all the commotion.

Although we've grown apart.
I hope you understand,

That my heart's desire is to still be your man...
-Jr

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/V02NxpWpU8

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/rlsPxmMEA7


r/OCPoetry • • 4h ago

Just Sharing I keep falling for my toxic mind

0 Upvotes

Yet another night
Where I keep drifting in my own misery
Where I hate who I've become 
While I can't seem to remember who I used to be 

Sipping on my drink
As I continue wondering if it will ever end
If I'm strong enough to make it 
And if I'll even be alive to witness my soul mend 

Yes, I'm rambling... 
Hearing people whispering "You'll be fine!"
I wish I could shut them out
But the voices never fail to be back in due time

No, I'm not crazy... 
I'm just replaying things I've been told
Hoping they'll hit differently
But they still feel so utterly empty and cold

Maybe I'm doomed
Because I hate myself so damn much
Because I'm filled with poison
That kills every good emotion it dares to touch

Yet another break
Where I keep falling for my toxic mind
Where I let it control me
While I can't seem to run from the things I find

Taking the last gulp
As I continue wondering if this is all I'll ever be
If I'll keep on losing my way
And if I'll ever stop telling myself that this is the real me

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1x85ds3/comment/phc7xn5/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1x7ccba/comment/phc8jm3/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button


r/OCPoetry • • 8h ago

Feedback Please Have the dead outlived us?

2 Upvotes

So i read a bible verse today that read

"One day with the Lord is as a thousand years, and a thousand years is as one day"

And it had me thinking about the dead

About if the loved ones that passed on have lived a millenia beyond the clay

When we die, do we forget who we were

To ourselves, to each other, to the world in life?

Did our dead and gone forget the world-

They left behind after such a long, long time?

Just one year passed in the "real world" is a time passed

In the afterlife far older than the world itself

If eternity were to last in the real world, would it perhaps

Diminish these instincts that keep us in health?

It seems that to us that felt loss, they've rotten

Yet to them who felt death, they've already won

Instead of the dead being the ones that are forgotten

Are we in truth, the forgotten ones?

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/oJ2WPaun3U

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/OE7QjpR2FX


r/OCPoetry • • 12h ago

Just Sharing Tell Me

5 Upvotes

Memories consume me
Opening old wounds,
Blood dripping down.
Tell me, can you bleed like me?
I just want to replace the pain
With something numb.
I’m just so sick and tired.
Tell me, do you think like me?
Swallowed up by rage,
Afraid to lose control.
I just want to scream.
Tell me, do you feel like me?

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/b8RStV02Iv

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/dCZC7rVLAj


r/OCPoetry • • 5h ago

Just Sharing What changed, you ask?

1 Upvotes

You were a sunshine 
With a big smile plastered on your face 
You saw the beauty in the world 
Yearning for new experiences you could embrace

You were trusting 
Believed that people were worth your time 
That friendships would last forever 
And parents would hold your hand through the climb

You were hopeful
Imagining all your dreams would come true
Waiting for that one destined love 
Seeing yourself in a future with a bright view

You were innocent 
Just a child who played silly games 
Who slept safe and sound 
Mulling over your stuffed animals names 

You were wholesome 
Knowing exactly who you wanted to be 
In clear images of your idols 
Looking into a mirror and loving what you'd see

What changed, you ask? 
Life. Trauma. Loss. Reality. Surrender. 
Scarring your past and present 
While still slowly suffocating your fading ember

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1x41jwk/comment/phbo4dg/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1x85y8k/comment/phbobiw/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button


r/OCPoetry • • 9h ago

Feedback Please Price of love

2 Upvotes

I no longer wake up with you blindly on my mind
Yet the Hollow hole you left still echoes your name

My feet may no longer be in an unconscious search for yours in the middle of the bed.
But my soul is still sold-with no sight of return to the Girl I’m forced to lose.

I am entirely undone.
Tomorrow,
I attempt to buy myself back
from the Girl i sold my soul to-

Without a receipt

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/pJWueKimmv

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/oDNlMra7ez


r/OCPoetry • • 16h ago

Just Sharing Jesus Doesn't Want Me for a Sunbeam

5 Upvotes

Can He not see my heart?
Like Adam among the trees, I hide.
With fig leaves stitched together,
I try to cover the voice
I pretend not to hear.

I speak of faith.
Inside, I am dust.
Inside, I am Jacob, wrestling in the dark,
afraid to say my name.

When temptation comes, I look away.
Not like Joseph, fleeing out of courage,
but out of fear, trembling at myself.
I call it virtue.
It is weakness that smiles.

I say I love God.
Yet, like Peter, I deny Him in small ways.
Not with shouts.
With silence.
With comfort.
With delay.

I do not murder.
I do not steal.
I do not raise the sword.
But anger lives within me,
like Cain walking in the fields,
listening to his own thoughts.

I want to stand like David before the giant.
Instead, I stand like Saul, hiding among the baggage.

I want to pray like Hannah.
Instead, my lips move,
but my heart wanders.

You ask me what lives inside me.
You ask me what my god is.

Fear.

I have obeyed it
more faithfully than I have obeyed You.

The wilderness is inside.
Forty days, again and again.
Stones that beg to be turned into bread.
Voices that whisper half-truths.
Promises without crosses.

Yet, in the quiet, another voice comes.
Not in the fire.
Not in the earthquake.
In the stillness.

It says,

You are not abandoned.
You are not beyond mercy.
You are the prodigal who can return.
You are the lost sheep I will carry.
You are the clay that can still be shaped.

And I bow my head,
like the thief on the cross,
and whisper only,

Remember me.

⸻

Author’s Note

This poem explores the tension between faith and fear, outward virtue and inward weakness, concealment and confession, and ultimately, the possibility of mercy.

It draws upon biblical narratives and imagery, including:

* Genesis 3:7–10, 3:19: Adam’s concealment and humanity’s mortality.
* Genesis 32:24–30: Jacob wrestling through the night.
* Genesis 39:7–12: Joseph resisting temptation.
* Luke 22:54–62: Peter’s denial.
* Genesis 4:5–8: Cain’s anger.
* 1 Samuel 17:32–50; 10:20–24: David’s courage and Saul’s concealment.
* 1 Samuel 1:10–15: Hannah’s prayer.
* Matthew 4:1–11: Temptation in the wilderness.
* 1 Kings 19:11–13: Elijah’s encounter with divine presence.
* Luke 15:3–7, 11–32: The lost sheep and the prodigal son.
* Jeremiah 18:1–6: The potter and the clay.
* Luke 23:39–43: The repentant criminal’s plea.

These passages are used as literary and spiritual allusions, not necessarily as direct quotations or literal retellings.

⸻
Comment 1
Comment 2


r/OCPoetry • • 21h ago

Just Sharing Dream

6 Upvotes

I had a dream

That you were on my bed.

As I lay there you squeezed my arm

Not tightly, but assuringly

And then, your hand slid down

Resting your wrist against mine.

Leaving it there, just for a moment-

Until you gently held my hand.

It felt like for the first time,

In a long time,

Something was going right.

(Wrote this based on an actual dream I had today!)

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1wrvipy/comment/ph7pi1b/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=mweb3x&utm_name=mweb3xcss&utm_term=2&utm_content=share_button

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1wzkq2w/comment/ph7qpna/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=mweb3x&utm_name=mweb3xcss&utm_term=2&utm_content=share_button


r/OCPoetry • • 21h ago

Feedback Please I am a self-cleaning oven

4 Upvotes

I am a self-cleaning oven, flat-

top range, so that you can sponge right off me

the mess of your oatmeal that has boiled-over from breakfast. 

It is my pleasure to cook for you­—

and I mean that sincerely,

because it delights me to serve and to please. 

From pot-roasts to pizzas, as you so desire,

I am happy, so happy, to help. 

 

From time to time, you will examine my insides

and view with concern the caked-on grime,

the grease and gristle from that chicken you made

but please: don’t scrub it, don’t 

you worry—I will handle the mess,

I will handle it all, 

I am useful and dependable, I

am a self-cleaning oven. 

 

Just close the door, and pay it no mind,

and I will take care of myself; you will find,

I think, that it is simpler this way. 

---

1 and 2


r/OCPoetry • • 1d ago

Feedback Please Two Cups

9 Upvotes

She knew how long to steep the tea,

which songs could soothe the night,

when someone needed words to hear,

when silence would be kind.

She knew who took their tea with milk,

who liked the curtains drawn,

who'd talk until the morning came,

who'd leave before the dawn.

They came with all they could not bear,

their sorrows and their fears;

she'd listen till the words ran dry

and sit with them through tears.

She never asked them why they came,

nor what had made them weep;

she'd walk them to the door at last,

then tidy up and sleep.

One evening, as the rain came down,

she set two cups to steep.

The kettle clicked. The house grew still.

The lane lay dark and deep.

She left the porch light burning

and listened for the gate.

The tea grew cold. The rain went on.

She told herself, It's late.

By morning, one cup stood untouched;

the other had gone cold.

She washed them both, then dried her hands,

and did what she'd been told

by years of being there for others:

she carried on as planned.

And when the next came to her door,

she welcomed them inside.

She put the kettle on again

and set two cups beside.

She asked how they had spent their day.

They spoke; she listened, too.

Outside, the rain began again.

One cup was set for two.

1

2


r/OCPoetry • • 20h ago

Feedback Please Sweet

2 Upvotes

Pull my hair and whisper
sweet melodramaties in my ears
till they burn.

Hallucinate upon me
an eye exam for the blind.
Study my every word,
my every move,
and lament
each answer
wrong.

I’ll fail this class with flying colors,
through lenses I cannot see.

The failure is mine,
after all.

Neglect my obscure banalities.
Unteach me everything learned,
pressing into my skin
your imaginary convictions,
until I mistake the pressure
for proof,
the scar for a lesson
I chose to keep.

Fulfill your duty,
but witness the kind man
shrink and shiver
as he scoops the remains
of lessons he set alight.

He sifts through the cinders
as if the right answer
might still be found
among them.

See, the dust never settles.
Every time I breathe,
I take the lesson in again.

  1. Feedback 1
  2. Feedback 2

r/OCPoetry • • 1d ago

Just Sharing Dear Lover,

5 Upvotes

I hope your drinks taste as sweet as my lips, and smell as familiar as my perfumes.

I hope the warmth that spreads across your chest as you swallow is as comforting as my embrace,

and I hope the burn goes down easier than leaving me did.

I hope the bottle never asks you where I have gone,

and I hope that each keg is deep enough to drown out the memory of my name.

I hope the image of other women satisfies you more than I did,

and that their digital touch reaches you in ways I never could.

I hope you feel the sun shine on your face, and hear the birds sing as you walk into your life of solitude.

You have made your choice, and I hope you are happy with it

Links:

(https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1wrvipy/comment/ph5b5ur/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button)

(https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1x7ao5c/comment/ph5amfm/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button)


r/OCPoetry • • 1d ago

Feedback Please Driftwood

2 Upvotes

I wrote this poem originally in Flemish, so posting in English is a bit outside my comfort zone. I was told that's where the magic happens, so here goes:

Driftwood

Once I was driftwood
Broken, cast upon the shore
Salt still lingering in my mouth

Faded wood, battered by the water
Spat out by roaring waves
Never completed, never sound

A shivering castaway was I
Never to be found
Seeking clarity and light
I scoured the beach with all my might
Found nothing but loss and regret

Yet driftwood wasn't meant to be my fate
Horizon lines weren’t the end goal
Luckily, I wasn’t late
Through my inner strength I came to know:
I was my own rescue raft
Saved my own soul

Thanks to strong nails
A splash of paint, a surge of delight
Empowering thoughts beyond the end
Slow became swift overnight

Driftwood was no more

A chair I became for the weary traveler
Or a coat rack holding winter coats secure
A table for restless, wild children
Gathered close, forever sure

More I've become
Than I ever dreamed

It feels so right
To stand here whole
Beautiful and complete

Ready for the break of dawn

(https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1x7ao5c/comment/ph37lp9/)
(https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1x76zzu/comment/ph34o9k/)


r/OCPoetry • • 1d ago

Just Sharing I Looked For The Moon

2 Upvotes

I looked for the moon

But it was gone from the sky

So i searched for it in your eyes

The shimmering lakes of your beauty

An angel and a smile

The bright light of a soul

And in those eyes i found the moon

And she winked back to me

And she was beautiful

A poem dedicated to all women and even more to our Most Holy Mother, the Virgin Mary.

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/BNV9GJHJz7

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/ZSQWRz3HsD


r/OCPoetry • • 1d ago

Feedback Please The Muse

2 Upvotes

Losses piling up.

Relations frigid.
Health waned.
Business dormant.
Art empty.

Low and lost
I drifted. 

Then she came.
She had been there 
all along.

She had it.
The look.
The voice.
The body.

But none of that mattered.

She did nothing different.
Her presence was enough.

Her concerns
galvanized me.
Her dreams
inspired me. 
Her silence
woke me.

Relations warmed. 
Health renewed.
Business bloomed.
Art flourished.

I laid myself bare.
I found my muse

but my friend
I lost.

Thank you for reading. This is an updated version of a poem I posted months ago. It's still up if you would like to read the original and I would love comparative feedback. It is also part of a triptych with Succubus and The Catalyst which are also posted. Thanks again.

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1x5o4cz/comment/pgsumk4/

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1x7ipxd/comment/ph6kcae/


r/OCPoetry • • 1d ago

Just Sharing O Blue Eyed One

13 Upvotes

O blue-eyed one—
I have heard that from your eyes
flow tides of slumber,
and within those slumbers, dreams.

​Just once, flutter those eyelids
and still the drift of those dreams,
holding them for a moment in those sleeping currents—
so I may dip my feet into those waters
and scoop up the one dream I have longed for,
so that you might finally hear me...
through those very eyes of yours.

​It isn't my fault—
you were the one who walked up to me,
wearing that smile.
And ever since,
my heart remains wide awake, even in its sleep.

(https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/ulWiISJsCA)

(https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/M1x4btuiwg)


r/OCPoetry • • 23h ago

Feedback Please Knick Knack Paddy Whack

0 Upvotes

I am full of bones.

And I am proud of that fact

And I want the world to know

I have an entire skeleton

Of bones

Inside of my body

But what’s the problem with telling the world

I have an entire skeleton

Of bones

Inside of my body

Dogs.

Dogs like bones.

If a dog overhears me bragging about my bones?

Wham.

Suddenly

the dogs steal my bones

tearing me open

dislodging what used to be mine

What used to be mine

now is theirs

Knick knack paddy whack

Throw a dog a bone

But maybe that is the problem

That I would

I would throw a dog my bone

Though it is quite painful

To take out my bones.

To throw a dog a bone

My bone

But for you

For you

I would throw a dog a bone

I would watch your tail wag

You would look at me

with those puppy dog eyes

Maybe you could stay

Do you love me, puppy?

Do you love me yet?

Knick knack paddy whack

give a dog a bone.

But not these bones

Please

not my bones

Please

not your bones

Please

not our bones

“Please” I say with puppy dog eyes

Because these bones are not treats

Those are the bones

That stood with me

When I did not know

How to stand.

Those are the bones

That held my shape

When I wanted

To crumble.

Those are the bones

That stayed beneath my skin

When everything else

Tore me open.

I need these bones.

But perhaps

You could stand with me

But perhaps

You could hold my shape

But perhaps

You would stay with me

Would you stay with me?

I can crumble for you

So I will give away these bones for you

Just let me give away these bones to you

“Please oh please” I say

With puppy dog eyes

Do you love me yet?

Please oh please

Let me

Steal my bones

From myself

What was never mine

What was always yours

Do you love me yet?

Tear me open

I love you, puppy.

Do you love me yet?

You have all of me

Do you love me yet?

I am no longer full of bones

And I am proud of that fact

And I want the world to know

You have my entire skeleton

But what’s the problem?

Dogs.

Dogs like bones.

And my puppy is still hungry.

Was that not enough?

Was I not enough?

Why didn’t you stay?

Couldn’t you?

Wouldn’t you?

Didn’t I?

P.S.

I apologize

for bleeding

on your rug.

P.P.S.

No

No I don’t

It was my blood

And it was my bones

It was always mine

It was never yours

P.P.P.S

I’m sorry

I didn’t mean

To make you sound

Like a dog

…

I can clean your rug

P.P.P.P.S

Leave the stain,
please.

I am no longer full of bones

I am no longer proud of that fact

I want the world to know

You have my entire skeleton

So when the dogs come running

You could throw a dog a bone

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1x72yd2/comment/ph732fq/?context=3

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1x7mb8m/comment/ph71syr/?context=3