Hehehe, Meomy didn't evun get a chance to take off di twist tie!!
- Oscar BBB, MM

Henlo Frens,

Iz me, Crash!

I Iz habin so much funses doin crimez!!!!

Here’s da list juss from dis week!!!
*stolded 7 fries from Meomwy’s dinner
*put my paws in da sketti sauce
*started a fight wif my brudder, den yelled so loud Meowmy fussed at him
*stolded anudder 7 fries (I likes dis crime!)
*taught two of my brudders to steal fries too

But da best crime wuz just now. Meowmy was eatin sumfing called “dezert”. I wanted to try it, but Meowmy wouldn’t let me. So on my last try, I smacked Meowmy on da nose and mades her blud come out!!!!

I lubs dis crime stuff!!!

Sam here. Check out my new bed. And Aqua respects me too much to do anything about it. Hahaha! 😹

Itz tyme ta eet!! Ai noe it!!! Mai tummy a rumblin’, so it meens tyme fur fuds!

Meowmy lazy. So ai bee pashunt. She den gets up! So obveeouslee itz tyme ta eet! Ai runrunrun to da fud bowl.

…but den she tell mi, “It’s not time yet.”

I hayt doze wurds! Ai ban dem frum da dikshunary!

Ai kum bak to mai bed an’ gib her a meany glare!

—Leo da meowgnificent

AI AM DOOING BIGGG SOOOZ!!! tree fureber daiz ago, meowmie took mee 2 da pokey place!!!! but dat iznt even da wurst purt. she LEOWCKED MEZ IN DIS RUUM!!!!! fur da intire time ai take poizin medisin. becuz appurrintly ai haz contagzuss viruz. ai haz bean sepurrated from mai bestest brofur in da whole wurld. ai amz getting da sepurrashun angziety frum being away frum my brofur. ai triez da scrachscrachscrach anz da clawclawclaw anz da screeeeems anz yowlzz but nuffing workz.

ai am going to soooz my meowmie for diz crimez of locking me awayz anz not letting mez b freez so ai can play wif my brofur. in da meantim, ai haz been sitting on meowmiez heowmwork anz laptop soz she cannoz doo hur veery "impurrtant" work mwahaha. pleez send me halp doe, i needz halp making ezcape plan.

- tom tom da moost mischivis

(i feel so bad having to keep my two cats separate while tom gets treated for this contagious sickness, they are literally inseparable and both have been meowing and clawing at the door that separates them🥺)

Henlo Max (5M Russian Blue) here! Mine dad packed himz bags and make like an cat tre and LEF! Sez he haz “an job”.

Frens mines pawthur fine ally comed tu see me an mine wyf Charlie Chicken Swoup an aiz Holt himbz hawstij fur himbz no kin leeb owr du anyfing odder den gib me tentshun. Dis luk lyk aiz du a gud jawb?

Angel- no catreer catto extraordinaire

(This is the 2nd time this week I have been to my sister's to see my fur babies and the 1st time he was entirely too clingy to even let me touch my phone if I was sitting down.)

Cause Arwen literally shut the door in my face and held Meowmy prisoner so they couldn't let me back in. There has to be someone I can soo for this? Look how sad I am Purrate Apprentice Gus

(Funniest part the door wasn't even fully closed, all he would have had to do was push back in)

Iz Callie.

Must soo! They haz been gones a million furevers (1 week) an will be gone ANOTHER million furevers before dey comes back. Auntie haz been hogging de litebox.

It probably good dis iz late, I haz just recover from de ordeal of de ting they calls "packing". I haz never seed so many hooman outside furz all over everyting in mine home! Dey haz ta try da furz on in different combinations an asks each other an Auntie wat look better before dey puts in 'bandon boxes. Then dey puts all kinds of other stuffs out to puts in boxes and den gets madz at ME.

"No Callie! Don't touch that thing of toiletries!" Treez for de toilet look fun!

"No Callie! Don't bite that paper, we need that to get on the ship!" Dey should no puts papers on floor dat are impawtent.

I tell Dadfur and Meowmy that dey goes on Hunny Moon at wrong timez. Dey gots married in April and Auntie came to stay wit me fur tree dayz(except fur the wedding time, iz tink she should have brought me), that should be enough time. They miss chance for 2 furevers Hunny Moon!

Auntie comes to stayz wit hers own bagz of outside furs n stuff that I needs to smellz all over. She haz lots of yarns.

I loves her, but she not me pawrents. I haz sadz an need soo.

She make up songs about me too!

I gives her head bonks because she brings me skrimp!🍤

Henlo frenz. Iz Nix.

Halp! Meowmy did da abamdonz! She sayz she goed away fur tree fureberz. An she leabez me wif mai mini-yon brofur Pixel whoz only wantz to chasechasechase an rassle an whatever else. Himz noz respawk mai baumdariez. Himz noz stop when Iz growlz an hisshissshiss an runz away! Meowmy waz keepin him out ob mai furz sum. But now she goned an Iz noz wantz to spend tree fureberz bapbapbapin mini-yon brofur.

Iz noz Iz can noz doz da sooz ob mini-yon brofur. An Iz gunna doz da biggest sooz eber when Meowmy comz bak. But in da meanie timez can Iz getz som halpz frum da frenz? Whoz wantz to play an chase an rassle wif mini-yon brofur fur da next tree dayz? Cat'n Wednesday, can da purratez goz on da long cruze on da seven ceez? Would sum calm gentle kittie like to com keepz me company hab da nice meow an tak da napz on da comfy blankiez wif me? Meowmy lefted lotz ob fudz an da secret treatoz drawer dat Meowmy noz noz Iz noz boutz iz full. So der lotz ob snackiez.

Iz putz da pitchur ob mez doin da mad at Meowmy fur doin da abamdomz.

um hai is me Sprinkles i told sum of yu frens storee abowt deh flyin tost wen i bapbapbap meowmys butter tost across deh room anywae todae i try agen to get tost dis time rite owt ob toster nice an hot but meowmy say "sprinkles yu ar haynus tost theef" DAT IS SO MEEN HOW SHE SAY DAT TO ME

Frens- iz me, Elvis, da baby void

Last sleep, mos amazin thing evah happen in mai life. It wuz kold so meomy put “lectrik throw” on top da big sleep skware for my big sisfur BK and big brofur Fishe for their “Arthur-itis”.

It like nuffing ai evah felt. So warm. After second brekfast, we all went back and have stayed dere all day, eggsept fur lunch and snak.

BK and Fishe actin like dis is regular ting when it gets cold. Dey have lived here for 17 and 14 forevers so ai guess dey no. Meomy is relaxin wit us and giving scritchez.

It best day! So no soo today (yet)

Ai Smudge wuz doing a cuddle wif Meowmy an it wuz berry nice butt den I gotted board an I started rollin aroun an I seed Meowmy’s sawk an I push pushed it awf her foot! Den I grabbed it an I gived it sum bunnee kicks an I wuznut board eneemor!

So much sooing.

Meowmy wuz watching the baesbolls again, and at one point locked me in da water bocks room with her so she culd kleen her fur an nat stress frum da baesboll. Den she came out and screened sumerhin aboot David Lewis Hamilton? Wierd thing to screem. Den she sat and fiddled with her fidfle thingie around hers neck dem foldeded herm hans and rested her nose on it. Nex thing I know, she screem “OHMYGOD YES!!!!!”

Ebidently a thing happened in da baesbolls dat wiz a gud thing? Anyway, soo baesboll again and soo Meowmy fur locking me innda water bocks room wit her.

Moe

Meowmy wasn't paying me attention, so I had to be all coot and get cuddles. Also apparently I'm getting super big Illegal Smol Caspian

Hemlo did is Jax. I progressming wib de hooman doption gettimg-used-to process! Dey gib me wet food too times a furever, amd chimpkin biccits - but I don't eat none ubtil day put Lickylix roumd mine bowl - go crimez! Abter gemerously lettimg de Man-Hooman sit in mine room yesterday fur a-climb-amatazing, de hoomans opem de door to more ob mine kingdoms. Howeber, wenn I did go to de dowmstair, de Woo-Hooman and de Man-Hooman did jump up in surprise and nocknock over dere hooman food dip. Dis is where de soo bregin. Dey gib me a frightem! I runrunrun from de fromt door ob de house all de way back to mine bed (which ib mine favouritest place). Simce demm, I no go out ob mine room eben do de door be open all day!

Mai papa askeded me to ask yoo all fur healin' an' protektin' purrz fur sum catz. Der r three Owtside Cats he tryin' ta find homes for, but the local Balty-moar rescues n humane societies nawt helpin'. Can't even get a response from sum. Der r sum meen hoomins around here n we worried 'bowt dem. Also, der is a big danger-kitty at da zoo wher he werks dat could use sum healin' purrz, if'n yoo cats would. Her name's Sophia and mai papa sez she's da Queen ob da Zoo.

Ai also gettin' jelly-us ob hiz attenshunz to odder catz. Should Ai soo for extra churus?!

Lola da Mostly-Growd-Up Void

We didn’t wants to gos. Was told safer so we weren’t stressed with strangers in de home because we’d been craved for 10+ hrs today. We still no happy! 😡 help us get catpensation! She let strangers touch us!!! And give head scritches!!!

Hai frens, is I, Freddie, fur-jestic floof.

Dis mornin, meowmy did gib me nice fusses, but den she said I waz pudding. Wat iz pudding? I no pudding, I cat. I ask my furbro Tommo an he sez it means I FAT. I no fat, I no gets no feedin, EVER.

Meowmy always sez to my other furbro, Tank that he pudding, but he iz 100 fur cent pudding.

Aaaanywayzzzzz, so my furlins are hurt an I weally need do a BIG SOO on Meowmy.

Tewdae at de store mine meowmy see dis Halloween ornament and buyed it! But… how dare she do mine image laik this. I not a bampire! I neber even once do a bite bite of her! I pewsonally feel laik dis BIG mean an insult to mine repootateshun!!!

Sincewerelee Goose the cat

Frens, Diz Winter and Mittens.

We haz old climbin tree fingy. We luvved it! Meowmy sez it “gross” naow coz we luv it so much. It not gross! It jess gotz holez n snags from all da hard werkz we putz into climbing it!

But…don’t tell Meowmy, but…we kinda bord wif it naow. Meowmy gotz noo sofa a while back, but did we get new climbing tree? No! We did not. Dis clearly violashun of our rights as da owners of dis place!

Sew we deeside we wants to soo Meowmy fur noo climbin tree! Only we don’t know wot tree is da BEST. We is snickersnicker STUMPED! Get it? Dat wot Dey calls a punne or humorous play on da wordz

Anywayz…

I, Winter, am big glorious floofy cat. I haz sum trubble wif balancing all my glorious floof dese days. I evun a lil grumpy. I needs scratchy fings and BIG space to sits.

Mittens, she skeeredy lil cat. She likes to climb way UP when I iz feeling grumpy and doin my hisshisshiss and bapbapbaps. Dat suits me fine! More space down low fur me.

Kin yu helps us wif our soo? Duz yu has bestest climbing tree fingy to rekkermend?

Oh frens. Another tail of woe from the pasta kittens.

Last night Olive did a hork, and meowmy said she saw a wiggly thing. But that was LIES.

So she did a betray and called pokey place. This furever she came home with some little boxes and then she did a CHASE. A CAPTUR. And made us eat da TABLET. She tried to trick us to get to eat dem but we wer too intel… intelly… we were too smart for dat.

Olive did all her best hisses and running, Basil did a big hide. Orzo just wandered around becoz he saw a treat packet. Despite our biggest tries to escape, we were made to swallow a little round TABLET.

We did get lots of churu after, and our favourit fancy food for lunch. But still. Dis terrybul.

We illegal smols but need to soo for LIES and SALAMANDER about ‘werms’. Soo for ABOOS for being captured. And for being made to eat TABLETSl.