Hello everyone,
I need to talk to you, vent a little, and perhaps get some advice.
I am truly afraid that I will never get out of this situation.
I feel like I am one of the worst cases of severe hyperacusis/noxacusis.
When I ask others for advice, they tell me that their condition was never as severe as mine.
I am genuinely terrified; I feel as though my life is completely over, and I don’t want to spend the rest of my life trapped like this—especially since I am only 38 years old.
I know that, in any case, my life has changed forever. I had dreams and desires: to work, to advance in my career, to start a family, to travel.
And for the past 11 months, I have been, more or less, confined to my home.
My quality of life is very poor; I am forced to whisper when I speak, I am in pain very often, and the pain only subsides after several hours in complete silence.
I cannot see my friends or family—or, at most, one person at a time, while whispering, and only for a short while.
I am able to drive, but only a very little bit.
In 11 months, I haven’t seen any real improvement regarding the pain—or perhaps only the slightest bit.
This situation causes me terrible anxiety and leaves me deeply depressed. I wonder how I will survive in this world; I have very little family—for now, I have my mother, but if she weren’t here, I don’t even know how I would manage to survive or feed myself.
I am extremely afraid for the future, and I find myself thinking, more and more, about an early end to my life. This condition is terrible, and I feel completely hopeless. All I do is search for answers endlessly; I have no energy left to face any of this.
Furthermore, I don’t understand how my condition became severe in such a short amount of time.
Back in 2020, I developed hyperacusis following a blow to my ear.
For five years, I was fine—I led a normal life, went to work, saw friends and family, and was even able to travel.
Then, last year, I went to a bar. The music was loud; I wore earplugs and took regular breaks, but everything changed after that.
I began experiencing pain—the kind that never goes away.
By last summer, I had recovered quite well; I could speak normally, continue working, and so on.
Then, in October, I took a month-long training course, and everything spiraled downward. There was group work and lectures in large halls; the pain became unbearable—even though I was wearing both earplugs and protective earmuffs.
Since November 2025, my condition has become severe.
The exposures weren’t even that extreme, so I don’t understand why I’ve fallen into such a state.
Could you share your thoughts on my situation? Perhaps offer some advice? For those who have recovered—even after being severely affected—how did you manage to turn things around (aside from using clomipramine)?
Is it possible to improve, even when your threshold has dropped this low?
I don’t want to end up—or continue—living my life confined to my bedroom or my home.
This existence—the confinement, the isolation, seeing no one, and the complete lack of social connection—is driving me into a deep depression.
It feels as though I’m living my life only inside my own mind; meanwhile, I’m completely alone every single day, and nothing ever happens. Thank you for reading.
