Hi everyone!

I have a 1.5-year-old male Border Collie who, until about a month ago, was always incredibly friendly and happy whenever someone came over. He never reacted negatively to the doorbell, people knocking, or visitors entering our apartment. In fact, he used to get really excited to greet anyone who came in.

However, over the past month, his behavior has changed quite dramatically.

Now, whenever someone rings the doorbell or comes into our apartment, he becomes extremely anxious and fearful. He starts barking, sometimes growling, and tries to hide from the person entering. This is completely unlike him, and I'm struggling to figure out how to help him feel safe again.

There are two things that happened around the time this behavior started, and I'm wondering whether either (or both) could have contributed.

1. His hormonal implant is wearing off.

About six months ago, we decided to try a temporary chemical castration implant rather than immediately opting for permanent neutering. We wanted to see how his behavior and personality would be affected before making a permanent decision.

The implant is now wearing off, and we've noticed physical signs that his testosterone levels are returning. I'm wondering whether these hormonal changes could be contributing to his increased anxiety or reactivity.

2. A very stressful incident happened at our front door.

Shortly before this behavior started, we had a really upsetting situation involving a family member we are no longer in contact with.

She showed up at our apartment completely unannounced, repeatedly and aggressively rang the doorbell, and forced her way inside despite being told to leave. The situation was extremely loud and confrontational, and our door/lock was actually damaged in the process.

My dog started barking intensely at her, which was understandable given the situation. Unfortunately, even though I explicitly told her not to approach him, she got right up in his face before I managed to move him into another room.

Once he was separated from the situation, he calmed down, but the whole experience was extremely stressful.

Since then, his reaction to the doorbell and visitors has completely changed.

I'm worried he may have developed a fear association with the doorbell and people entering our home. I also don't know whether the hormonal changes happening at the same time might be making things worse.

What I'm looking for advice on:

• How can I help him rebuild a positive association with the doorbell and visitors?
• Should I start by desensitizing him to the sound of the doorbell without anyone actually entering?
• How should I manage visitors in the meantime so that I don't accidentally reinforce his fear or push him too far?
• Has anyone experienced increased fearfulness or reactivity when a temporary hormonal implant was wearing off?
• Are there any specific training exercises or resources you'd recommend for this situation?

Unfortunately, I don't have access to a qualified behavior-focused trainer who can come to our home. There are puppy classes and general obedience trainers in my area, but not much support for this kind of issue.

I really want to handle this properly and avoid making things worse. I'm not expecting him to love every visitor again overnight, I just want him to feel safe and comfortable in his own home.

Any advice, similar experiences, or recommended resources would be greatly appreciated!

Thank you!

Jackson was house trained and would only pee in the house (usually the bathroom) if we left him alone for 6+ plus. (although he would hold it all night)

We looked after someone else's dog for a few days and either they weren't house trained, or perhaps anxiety was making them pee in the house.

Soon after this, Jackson started to pee in the house every few hours.

Is this likely due to the other other dog doing it, so now Jackson thinks it's ok, or perhaps him marking his scent? (although it's been many months since this dog stayed)

I've read that reverting on house training is often due to medical concerns, however could our situation also be the root cause?

Jackson used to come and let us know when he needed to go out and pee, but now he just creeps off and does it in secret.

we adopted a 2YO blue heeler mix a month ago. He was ok, albeit timid, at first but quickly became increasingly terrified. While he has improved in his bond with our family, the outside world is very very scary to him. A week ago, if he even saw the leash he’d cower and pee. With a lot of hotdog, praise and patience, I’ve successfully gotten him to no longer pee, come to me when I’m holding the leash and do a loop around our house (our back door, in front door and out to the bag again!). He’s nervous but he does it and he’s able to recover and act normal after instead of acting traumatized. I realize we have a long way to go before he can take walks but this is huge! I’ll add that he’s been on Xanax for a week which has helped a TON and he’s also on Prozac although I doubt that’s helping yet as it’s only been a week.

Hey! I have a very smart GSD who’s got the worst ADHD. She is ball driven and not food motivated. I really think she would benefit from mental stimulation. What are some good trick recommendations for her brain that your dogs enjoy?

Current arsenal of commands includes: Sit, stay, middle, attention (sitting between legs), hold, turn off the light, where’s your x, put it away, bed vs bedtime, heel, shake, down, hug, and whisper.

We have tried scent training but she gets bored and chooses not to participate.

I have a very small jack russel cross miniture poodle puppy (5 months old and probably 6kg now). We are not progressing with house training very much. He understands he has to poo outside and will give a whine before attempting to go inside. He hasn't actually had a poo inside for over a month though.

But he wees absolutely anywhere constantly. I've heard that you should put him in the crate if you can't supervise him (thankfully he doesn't go in his crate). I do try to do that, but im home less than my husband and my husband feels bad for putting him in the crate.

I do take him outside after he wakes up, after a walk because despite peeing on walks, he still needs to go after, and whenever he walks through to the kitchen because that's where the back door is and he usually goes around the back door (also how we take him outside to go too). I need to get better at taking him after play sessions and after he's ate or drank, but ive tried that and he just plays with the leaves outside.

Sometimes I take him outside and he has a little wee and then tries to come back inside (he's eigther too small or too lazy to get back inside on his own) and then he has a big wee inside.

I suppose I should start giving him treats when he goes outside. But does any one have any advice or experiamce for house training a little puppy?

For context, I have a 14 month old standard poodle. He’s always been the fearful type, but very quick to warm up. We got him at 8 weeks old and made a point of taking him into stores, the groomer, puppy school, walks, all of it. We also enrolled him in daycare a few days a week. At about 8 mos old he was kicked out of daycare until neutered due to mounting, but was accepted back at a year old after being neutered.

Fast forward to now, and he’s quite reactive, still seemingly out of fear. He has the most ferocious bark and lunge at strangers about 50% of the time (seems to mostly be if they approach him) and 100% of the time if it’s a strange medium or large dog within a certain distance or if they’re being boisterous. Oddly enough though, still doing great at daycare, but barks at the front desk people during drop off until he’s close enough to say hi.

All of this has been stressful to deal with, and I’ve been spiraling about having a reactive dog. I’ve been going back and forth about getting a trainer, but it seems like they target dogs who have otherwise unresolvable issues, and charge accordingly. I feel like if I just had more experience I could handle it, but this is my first dog.

I signed him up for Obedience 2 (since he’s already done puppy school and obedience 1) and was hopeful that would help, but was DREADING going for fear of getting kicked out. Dear reader, his first class was tonight and he did GREAT. A bit of initial panic barking and quite excitable, but even with all the other dogs around he sat at my feet and did as I said. Interestingly, at one point they had us trade dogs and go out of sight for 1 minute, and he was terrified but apparently was fine once they left the room?

I’m not sure what to make of this. Has anyone seen similar before? I feel like I’m really struggling to understand his behavior, which makes it so much harder to figure out how to help.

My parents who we live next to, adopted a 10 week old puppy last year and I thought our big male moose baby of a dog would be so happy to have a play mate after having to put our other dog down. Cut to - he was so not into her and we were BUMMED. I combed this subreddit and talked to our trainer and we moved VERY slowly with integration. Lots of physical boundaries, pack walks and so much patience. We were so careful because he’s so much bigger than she is. About 10 months into having her, he finally started to show some interest. He’s very vocal and I think some of his barks were possibly wanting to play but we still erred on the side of caution. Anyway, after about a year of work we are finally here and they are besties. Just wanted to say there is hope! (Please excuse the hair we also have a chow mix and I was getting ready to vacuum)

Welcome to the fortnightly separation anxiety support group!

The mission of this post is to provide a constructive place to discuss your dog's progress and setbacks in conquering his/her separation anxiety. Feel free to post your fortnightly progress report, as well as any questions or tips you might have! We seek to provide a safe space to vent your frustrations as well, so feel free to express yourself.

We welcome both owners of dogs with separation anxiety and owners whose dogs have gotten better!

NEW TO SEPARATION ANXIETY?

New to the subject of separation anxiety? A dog with separation anxiety is one who displays stress when the one or more family members leave. Separation anxiety can vary from light stress to separation panic but at the heart of the matter is distress.

Does this sound familiar? Lucky for you, this is a pretty common problem that many dog owners struggle with. It can feel isolating and frustrating, but we are here to help!

Resources

Books

Don't Leave Me! Step-by-Step Help for Your Dog's Separation Anxiety by Nicole Wilde

Be Right Back!: How To Overcome Your Dog's Separation Anxiety And Regain Your Freedom by Julie Naismith

Separation Anxiety in Dogs: Next Generation Treatment Protocols and Practices by Malena DeMartini-Price

Online Articles/Blogs/Sites

Separation Anxiety

Pat Miller summary article on treating separation anxiety

Emily "kikopup" Larlham separation training tips

Pet Harmony's Enrichment Activities for Dogs with Separation Anxiety

Videos

Using the Treat&Train to Solve Separation Anxiety

introducing an x-pen so the dog likes it (kikopup)

Podcast:

Home Alone... and comfortable as HECK! with Ally Verba

Be Right Back! The Separation Anxiety Podcast with Julie Naismith

Online DIY courses:

Malena DeMartini Separation Anxiety Mission Possible Self Paced Online Course

https://www.betternaturetraining.com/separationanxietymembership

Julie Naismith Heros Be Right Back Training Julie Naismith BRB App

https://separationanxietydog.thinkific.com/courses/do-it-yourself-separation-anxiety-program

https://rescuedbytraining.com/separation-anxiety-course

Pet Harmony's Webinar on Separation Anxiety

Dr. Pachel DVM, DACVB, CABC Webinar from Instinct Dogtraining on Separation Anxiety: Tailoring Interventions to the Dog and Household

This list has been updated as of 6/16/26. If you find broken links, please submit a message via modmail and we'll fix the broken link to update it or add additional resources.

Introduce your dog if you are new, and for those of you who have previously participated, make sure to tell us how your week has been!

My male dog (2.5 years) has lived with us and our resident dog (6F) for two years. We rescued him from a farm where we were told he was not being treated well, so we don’t know much about his background. I need advice about how to address his guarding of affection. He absolutely never guards food and will even let our other dog drink out of the water bowl at the same time as him and come directly up to his food bowl while he eats. He rarely guards toys and will only growl at the other dog when he has a new bone that he views to be high value and she comes too close. They can both eat bones at the same time directly next to each other but he occasionally doesn’t like when she doesn’t have one and comes to see what he is doing.

The real issue is when strangers or friends/family we don’t see daily come to pet them. If the newcomer pets the older dog at all, he snaps and attacks (the dog, never people). This started maybe a couple months ago when the neighbor kids asked to pet them outside and he growled, and since it has escalated now to attacking the older dog. He had previously let these same neighbors pet them both successfully. Inside the home, it is less intense where he will just come to shove her out of the way or nip at her so she will move and be petted instead. She is very submissive towards him and never fights back in the slightest. I am asking for help because I do not want to see these behaviors get worse.

I understand that we shouldn’t remove the thing he is guarding her from or he will associate the loss of petting with her presence, but people do not feel safe petting either of them when he behaves this way. It is also hard to train because he does not exhibit the severe behavior with the people who live in the house, only sometimes the pushing and nipping. I was not able to find answers to this specific type of guarding in any of the wikis for this sub. Thanks for any help you can provide!

UPDATE: I’ll leave this post up in case anyone else needs help but literally taking 5-10 minute walks solved it immediately

5-month old puppy. During sniffy walks, she will jump up and start biting the leash, my clothes, and pretty much anything she can reach. She is extremely agitated, and usually our walks will end in her in my arms trying to squirm out and me crying hopelessly.

1. We initially thought this was either leash frustration due to being unable to reach something she wants, and so we switched a loong lead and practiced loose leash walking. Even without any notable tension and tugging on leash, she still starts.
2. Okay not that. Maybe it’s trigger stacking? We’re working hard on engage/disengage with other dogs, strangers, and bicycles, but maybe it’s still too much even if she’s able to walk past triggers. Even on a dead calm walk, she still starts.
3. Pain? Agitation from other reasons? One vet trip later and she’s a healthy pup.

⭐️ this was it —>

1. Okay maybe the walks are too long? 25 minutes maximum, and go at her pace. Around the 20 minute mark, the agitation starts.
2. Maybe she’s hungry???? We changed our routine to make sure she’s eaten before a walk and had at least half an hour to sleep and digest. No dice.
3. Okay we still don’t know why yet, but when it happens can we redirect? Nope. She’ll actively drop her favorite toy to start jumping and biting.

I checked the wiki on here with loose leash walking and calmness, we are doing EVEYTHING mentioned

Please please please help me. It’s starting to hurt when she jumps up on me and making me scared to take her out. We’re going to puppy school together in about a week for just basic skills and I’m terrified she’ll do it there too.

I’m honestly at a loss at this point. I’ve looked through the resources for loose-leash walking, but I seem to be having the opposite problem. Our dog used to pull quite heavily, but we’ve mad some pretty good progress on that, so it’s not really a big problem anymore.

What is a problem though is another thing she’s been doing ever since we got her, and I simply have no ideas left to fix it. When we walk towards an interesting destination or in a direction she likes, everything is fine, she behaves quite well.
But as soon as we walk somewhere she doesn’t want to go (usually towards home, or away from somebody she likes because we said bye) she will simply refuse to walk. She sits or even lays down, she stands around, or if she does move it’s super slow and again stops after a few paces.

What we’ve tried:
- Waiting: This does nothing, she is way more patient than us, in fact she’d probably rather stand there all day rather than go in a direction she doesn’t want to go.
- Treats: These get her to come towards us for a few steps, but that’s it. As soon as we want her to actually move for them, she just loses interest and goes back to standing.
- Pulling: Obviously I don’t mean dragging her with us. We’ve tried gentle but sharp tugs, as well as a constant tension to make it clear we want to go. Neither works, in fact they make the problem worse.
- Leaving her: We normally walk her with a 1.5m leash, but we also have an 8m long flexi leash. We’ve tried to pretend to leave her, she doesn’t care.
- Making it exciting: She loves to run. We sometimes ask her to run with us in the direction we want to go. This occasionally works, as long as her mind isn’t too set on the other direction.
- “Pushing”: Standing close to her or physically blocking the way she wants to go sometimes annoys her enough to get her to move the way we want.

And that’s about it. I really hope some of you have ideas, I’d be happy to answer any questions. For added context, she is a 3 year old yorkie/bichon havanese mix, with a generally anxious/fearful disposition, but not to any kind of pathological degree.

I have a 3 year old German shepherd who we've had for a few months. I live on a farm and we have her inside during the night and let her outside during the day when we're out and about and then bring her back inside. Our dog like to follow us around when we're walking which is fine, she doesn't jump or anything, just follows us. But when im on my four wheeler or driving my truck or my dad's truck or just any vehicle, she'll run around it, going in front of me or behind me and I'm scared she'll get hurt. It's only when it's me or my mom driving, not my dad.

Is there anyway I can keep her from following vehicles?​

My 9-year-old beagle is super friendly and loves to march up to anyone we come across, hoping for pets (or snacks). Her only line is children, who she has never warmed up to. She seems to think every person who walks toward us, or who visits my desk when I bring her to work, is solely there to pet her.

This isn't bad per se - she was highly anxious when I adopted her four years ago and had a learning curve where living with and around people is concerned. But I would love if she would look to me for permission before approaching anyone. I'm talking random joggers, coworkers who actually don't like dogs, the mail man, and on... Selfishly, I would love it if she would simply ignore people if I don't initiate contact (I don't love chit chat and get frustrated with folks who go to pet without asking, and her behavior encourages that).

If I could get her to look to me before approaching people, I think I would have the last key to my perfect beagle in place. Does anyone have any suggestions or thoughts?

We adopted an 8 month old Pit Terrier mix 2 weeks ago. She’s a rescue.

I work from home, and my dog tends to get overly excited and want to play while I’m working. She will start chewing things she’s not supposed to and barking which she can’t do since I live at an apartment complex.

I can get her to settle for a minute with lie down and settle commands, but after I turn my back to work she starts going crazy again. The thing that works the best is putting her in my lap for a bit and holding her until she takes some deep breaths. But I assume I shouldn’t be having to hold her to calm her down.

She’s the sweetest normally and we’ve already bonded but when she gets these bouts of excitement I don’t really know what to do when I can’t take her outside to sniff it out.

I take her on two walks a day and have multiple outside sniff breaks throughout the day, but she can’t seem to settle unless she’s asleep. Treats and puzzle toys and things can distract her while I work, but I don’t want to be overly reliant on just feeding her.

Any help with getting to be calm while I work would be greatly appreciated!

Just moved into a new apartment with my 3 year old Shih Tzu. She seems totally comfortable here when I’m home and isn’t showing any signs of stress.

We spend a lot of time together as I take her to work with me but she’s always been fine home alone for a few hours if I’m out and about.
However, now that we’re in a new environment, she’s barking if I go outside the main door at all.
I’m just wondering if there’s such thing as training her to be home alone here too early?

Have any of you moved home with your Shih Tzu? When did you start leaving them home alone after moving in? I’m doing small bits, like standing out in the hallway to see how she is and giving her treats when I come back in if she’s been quiet.
I just don’t want to rush it when she’s still settling in and figuring out this is her home now etc.

How did you guys find it?

Hello everyone!

We recently adopted a rescue dog from South Korea and he's been at our house for three days now. Yes, he hasn't had much time to acclimate yet, but what was described to us as "a slightly shy and timid dog" turned out to be a very anxious small bean who won't even let us touch him.

He's three years old and has spent his entire life at a shelter in Korea after he was found in the streets at the age of two months. The past four months he spent at a foster home, one of which he was somewhere in the woods because he had run away after a collar malfunction and a loud noise. After he was found, we were told he was fine both physically and mentally (our mistake, we should have questioned that). He came here by plane.

Long story short: He is here now and absolutely nothing like the dog we were told about. He is hiding in the bedroom and only comes out two to three times a day to relieve himself before immediately making a run for the bedroom again. We can't go for walks with him or take him outside at all because he won't let us put a leash on him. Getting a collar on him was a nightmare.

It's only been three days, so we know it's very early, but we have zero experience with anxious dogs and he is our first rescue. Mistakes were made, the rescue isn't helping, and now here we are.

We are thinking of waiting four weeks to see if there's any improvement by allowing him space and letting him calm down before reaching out to dog trainers. Is that too late? Do we risk more damage by putting it off?

Thank you so much for any advice in advance!

We recently borrowed a dog for a day to see if he was a good fit for our family. His was an absolute delight. Almost too good to be true and I’d love to hear some input, suggestions, or ideas on what to do next.

Quick background, family with kids aged 5 and 8. Kids are really safe and respectful around dogs (not going to poke, annoy, or accidentally do weird things a toddler might). But obviously living with a dog will be a different story. We have a chance to adopt a rescue, a shepherd/mix. They said he’s 3-4 years old but he was found on the street and he really seems like a puppy. He’s also very malnourished and thin. He’s been at a friends house who’s fostering him for a month now (friend has other dogs and kids, he’s been great with them). Apparently lately though, he’s becoming more destructive. Chewing kids toys, cushions, etc. it really sounds like boredom and probably lack of exercise.

Here’s the interesting part… we recently borrowed him for a day to get to know him and see how he is with the kids and in our house. We took him for a walk and he was very calm. Dogs approached, squirrels ran by, nothing bothered him, not even a bark or a pull. Didn’t wanna play with balls or toys, very calm and relaxed, just wanted to sit on our laps or be near us (cried at the bottom of the stairs when one of us went up). Is this an anxiety thing? Do we just need to have him for a while to see how busy he actually is? We’re active, we want a dog we can run with and take for long daily walks. We’re willing and ready to spend the time and money on proper training. I’d just love some advice or input or other experiences people have had because he seems like the perfect fit. But he’s also a malnourished rescue dog from the streets and I don’t want to ever put anyone at risk if there’s some danger or red flags about this whole thing.

I have chronic pain/fibromyalgia and last night it became evident that I might need my dog to be able to run and alert my husband on command. She did go and find him when I asked but she wasn’t able to alert him of a problem. I’m thinking about how to harness that behavior and enhance it so she can go get him or someone else around if I need help (say, on a walk or something). She’s BIG though so it needs to not be scary. Any tips on how to start?

Hi everyone! I adopted a 4 year old female Pomeranian mix (think she’s mixed with corgi) yesterday and am needing some advice.

I also want to preface by saying she has very little interest in treats - I’ve tried a few different kinds, so treat based reward training might not be effective.

The first main issue I have is that we can be outside for an extended period of time and she won’t go poop. Her foster said she was housebroken - that she only had one accident on day one and that was it. But that’s not true for me. I’m learning her potty cues and she hasn’t had many pee accidents. However, it does take consistently 15-20 mins outside before she’ll go - and even then she might not go and I have to take her out again 10 minutes later - repeat a few times until she goes. I have to work tomorrow (I wfh) and this just isn’t feasible to go out this often/this long.

I also don’t have a yard/place I can tie her up to do her business. I have to actually go out with her.

Also, we can go outside and she will pee and I’ll give her extra time to poop , but as soon as we come inside, she’ll be pooping within 10 minutes. I’ve tried bringing her poop outside to show her where, but that doesn’t help either. I’ve been looking for cues, but she doesn’t seem to have any. She’ll be in the middle of playing with a toy when she squats down. And she goes so quickly that I can’t catch her and bring her outside in time.

The other issue is the roughhousing. I have given her a few toys and try my best to redirect her to them, but she often ignores it to try to “attack” my arms and hands. It’s playful “attacks” but it does still hurt a bit. And if I ignore her attempts to get my arms or try to redirect her to a toy, she starts crawling on me and nips at my face. A small note of importance is that I am autistic, so the roughhousing and constant stimulation in this is very overwhelming.

I have a training consultation with her in a few days, but if anyone has any advice until then, I would greatly appreciate it.

We have two terriers (14 and 3) and recently adopted a cat (6mo, we adopted him at 4). The cat was fostered in a home with dogs so he’s used to them. The dogs have been around cats in the past, but never lived with one. Our older dog really likes cats. He gets a little barky with them around but he really just wants to be pals.

It’s now over two months, and every time the younger dog sees the cat he absolutely loses his marbles. He charges at the cat and barks hysterically, scaring the cat away.

We’ve been doing everything right - scent swapping, keeping them separated and giving the cat his own spaces the dogs can’t access. We’re letting the cat take the lead and move at his pace. We’ve had a few sessions with leashes on the dogs where the cat can wander. We’ve done treats for both the dogs and cat to try and get them more comfortable around each other. The cat is very affectionate and it’s clear he wants to socialize, but the younger dog goes nuts and scares him. The younger dog has also had a couple of incidents of marking places where he knows the cat has been.

I don’t think our younger dog is trying to hurt him. There have been two instances where he got away from us and in the cat’s face before we could stop him. Both times he’s just barking like crazy in his face. The cat also isn’t trying to attack, he just hisses and runs away.

I know it can take time for dogs and cats to acclimate, but I’d think at this point our younger one would be somewhat more comfortable. It still feels like day one with him, and the marking is really concerning me. Should I talk to my vet about some kind of anxiety meds for my younger pup? Is there anything else I can do before resorting to that?

Hey All. First time posting here.
I just had an issue, while camping with a friend, that kind of blew up into a fight. He is essentially a traditional dog training type person (someone who has owned dogs his whole life and just figured out what works for him and his dogs, over the last several decades, never read anything on the subject, watched Ceasar Milan a bunch of times and…. Has really well behaved dogs.)

I, on the other hand, am new to dog ownership, though I’ve had several conversations with people over the years. I never wanted a dog because I consider myself a responsible dog owner and, having never had the time to properly raise and care for a dog, I just avoided having them. Recently, (last few years) I’ve got a lot more time, a sufficient yard, etc, and so I’ve had a few dogs. (One dog I don’t have anymore… super long story that but, he was the most substantial era of my research into training. (now I’ve got a three year old frenchie (talk about difficult training..) and a one year old chocolate lab.

So I’m camping with my “traditional friend” we’re in the middle of nowhere, not a soul within 30 miles around us so, our dogs are off leash, having a great time being dogs.

I feed my two dogs separately as always, because the lab won’t stay away from the frenchies food otherwise. They finish their food. All is good except they are both still a little hungry cause the vet has them on diets. (Too many training treats!!)

My friend feeds his dog out in the open. His dog does not eat. So there is a bowl of food just out in the open, easy for my lab to get at.

You guessed it. My lab is HYPER focused on trying to get his dogs food.

I’m kinda used to being on top of this “stuborn” dog. He’s got instant recall, he sits. Lays down, stays, and does all kinds of other basic cues but… he also likes getting into stuff and tunes me out when I try to stop him.

I try to work on a lot of positive redirection. (Here, do this instead) but, a lot of time it’s just endless. “Hey!” “Stop It” “leave it!”

A lot of times this works and he’ll stop. But…. A bowl of food just sitting in the open… at a campsite….

I don’t want to tell my friend what to do with his dog bowl so, I was on constant vigilance management mode.

Every minute or so, I’m telling my dog to stop trying to get the bowl of food. He stops as cued… but then the second I look away, he’s back at it. I tell him again. He stops again. I look away. He’s back at it.

In retrospect, there was no way to stop this food drive other than to remove my dog, which would have resulted into never ending demand-barking…. And, who wants to put their dog away while you’re out camping anyway… or, we should have removed the food.

But my friend felt that he should have been able to leave the food out and I should have been able to better control my dog from trying to get it.

He was very specific… as a guy who knows everything about dog training… that I need to command my dog with the word NO!!

I responded that I had been taught by several trainers and a lot of reading that “no” is not a great tool. Often times I’ll learn something and internalize it (so I’ll don’t use the word no) but I’ll kind of forget the details as to why.

So my friend is insisting that I use the word no, like any good dog trainer and, that I’m too wishy washy.

He demonstrates. “NO!!” The dog responds exactly as he had to me, every time I used any other cue. And as soon as we weren’t looking, the dog is back to the food. (Not once did either of us consider removing the damned food!

Well, this all blew up into a huge fight about me feeling like I don’t need to be told by another person how to raise my dogs and, generally feeling like I am seen as being weak and ineffective and inexperienced without any respect for the intense energy (not to mention money!) and reading, and working with professionals and by myself, that I’ve dedicated to my dogs.

At the end of the day, my friend is frustrated with me because I won’t listen to him and “the majority of dog trainers” and just teach my dog this simple command, “NO!”

And I’m left feeling like my dogs are out of control and won’t obey my every command because, perhaps, I’ve chosen to follow a wishy washy line of thinking, where it’s bad to use certain words on dogs. Like…. Why is it okay to say “leave It” or “ah ah” but not, No.

At the same time, none of these words would work anyway because hungry lab is going to hungry lab. So does this leave me as a terrible trainer whose dogs walk all over him?

I’d like to know what the community thinks about saying “no” to your dog. And, what would you have done in a situation where there is food on the ground that my dog is not allowed to eat but, we’re out camping and, leashing him would be begging for demand-barking which I’m actively working on curtailing.

Lots to address here? Ignore away if you want. Maybe I’m just trying to vent. But any feedback or advice would help me settle my mind a little.

I should have asked to remove the bowl but I chose, instead, to be on management duty and just continue to keep my dog away from the food. Should I change my thinking and figure out a commanding NO cue

Thanks in advance.