r/copypasta • • 21h ago

Is wiping necessary NSFW

67 Upvotes

Is wiping your ass really necessary tho bc it kinda is wasteful with all the toilet paper and everything. And also you're probably going to use the toilet again later so why even clean it if its gonna get dirty again and also we shower at the end of the day anyway so like its not even that big of a deal especially if nobody is going to be looking down there and touching you yk like its really just a trend nowadays wiping your ass because people are ashamed of their natural scent. Its basically pheremones! Thats how you attract a partner its simple biology. Thats why we have a loneliness crisis and everyone is single because we stopped keeping that organic musk down there and we hide it by wiping or spraying fragrance


r/copypasta • • 13h ago

Today, I checked my 16 year old son’s search history and I feel like I don’t know him anymore.

36 Upvotes

I am a 50 year old mother, and just today I decided to go through my son‘s search history on his minecraft IPad. My son (16M), let’s call him Kai has always been secretive on his online activity, and over the years I’ve heard tremendous things come from his bedroom that I won’t go into detail here. I’ve always brushed it off, but today my curiosity got the better of me. Recently, Kai has taken a very strong interest in a character he told me went by “Thomas Pearl”. At first I thought nothing of it, just another one of his internet buddies, but he just wouldn’t stop talking about this character. Just last night I noticed he had left his minecraft themed iPad on the couch. This morning, curiosity got the best of me as I was checking the weather on his tablet. I saw that my son has been binging videos of a middle aged man eating his own feces. The minute I saw these videos, I was speechless. I feel like I am trapped in a shit show and I don’t want to risk making my son embarassed.


r/copypasta • • 2h ago

Trigger Warning The slow, painful death of Liberty Biberty NSFW

20 Upvotes

I want to give Liberty Biberty a slow death. Basement. Doors locked. Windows covered in newspaper. Every day I will go down there and fill it with my seed like a cannoli in its little cloaca buried beneath all the fur. And every day that muscular hole will become looser and looser until it can slowly be torn apart like a piece of fruit. It’ll come gently. Micro-tears all along the sphincter. I’ll rub its shit in it to reintroduce the bacteria and give it a full-body infection. Once the cloaca becomes exhausted, then comes the mouth. Hot branding irons on its tongue, rusty nails, anything to induce tetanus in addition to the sepsis from the shit. I’ll make it chew it and swallow until its digestive tract is like ripped tissue paper. I’ll then shave off all its hair and begin to remove the teeth with pliers. By now, it’ll be weak enough to not fight back, so this will be a relatively easy process. I’ll spray the gummy little creature with a hose a few times a day, then dump boiling water to induce shock. Then the eyes will go. I’ll pluck them out with tweezers, scratch them out, I don’t know. Either way, it can’t see. The tongue should be successfully destroyed by this point, but if not, it’s coming off with a hacksaw. At this point, with its spirit fully broken, I’ll stop feeding it until eventually, like a pumpkin after Halloween, it’ll be wet and decomposing despite being alive. At that point, I’ll pour acid down its ear-holes until its brain is successfully a melty pudding. With the last bit of consciousness destroyed, I’ll burn it in the backyard to see if it still feels anything, then keep the ashes in a jar above the mantelpiece.


r/copypasta • • 23h ago

AITA for giving my step-dad ED

15 Upvotes

my step-dad got ED and my family blames my singing.

im 28 and i love music, deeply autistic, and when i hear music i have to play along. a few months after my step-dad moved in i started hearing music coming out of their bedroom every night, clapping and a beat, so i sang along with it because it felt right. my parents came in and shushed me and i told them if they wanted quiet they shouldnt play music that loud.

it kept happening, and then my mum came to me and said my step-dad had a medical thing called ED that weakened his blood flow. i only know the film ET so i told him maybe more of my music would help. they both broke down crying and i started humming along to the crying because it had a rhythm, which made them cry harder, and they said i ruined their life.

i dont understand how singing can cause a blood flow problem. but i do know i wasnt doing anything wrong in my own room.


r/copypasta • • 6h ago

More people should have fun with their pumpkins NSFW

12 Upvotes

More people should have fun with their pumpkins
I mean I did.

I am a tgirl though so that's also just reinforcing the stereotype...

Seeing as you don't think you'll get another opportunity to ask this question, I'll tell you all about it because I actually have a good bit to say that may be useful to another gock haver reading this who wants to try it out.

The first challenge was the process of setting it up in the first place. I had to be really careful getting the hole just the right size since if it's even barely too big it becomes worthless due to the pumpkins lack of natural squeeze, just being a hard object and all. I admit I did actually end up having to make a second hole after the first one got too loose. There was actually a rather difficult sort of process of carefully making the hole slightly bigger in small shavings, testing each time to make sure it goes in all the way. If you want to do this testing properly you need to do it while fully hard and lubed or lotioned but that also meant there was lotion on my hands while using the knife to make the hole bigger and I had to use paper towels to improve my grip on it and the pumpkin. You also need to carefully shave off the edges of the hole so that you can make cleaner movements instead of having the sharp shell edges scrape against your skin.

It was also kinda hard actually getting stuff to line up right because unlike a person it doesn't move with you, unlike another sex toy it isn't light enough to just move it with your hand, and it is small enough and round enough that it wants to roll over and move away from you, which you really don't want it to do while your dick is halfway in it. You may need to strategically place pillows and stuff under or around it to help prevent this, and just be careful with how you're actually pushing into it to make sure you're not shoving it in a direction that's gonna make it roll to the side and snap your dick in half. 

To help with this I'd recommend getting a pumpkin with a clear flatter side instead of being fully round, placing it on a flat surface to see where it naturally settles, placing it in that orientation on your mattress with the stem facing towards the top of the bed where your head is going to be and testing where exactly you're going to be for this and where the point of contact is gonna be, then making the hole near the bottom accordingly such that you can fuck it without bending your dick or rolling the pumpkin at all. Plus, make sure you make the hole itself at a good angle, since that's the direction you're dick is going to be moving.

Also, pro tip, take your mattress off of your bedframe before doing this, especially if you have a cheap bedframe. Medium sized pumpkin repeatedly getting your weight slammed down on it will create a more focused point of force for the bed underneath, making it more likely to punch through or bend whatever you have under your mattress. Make that the floor and you'll be fine. I'm glad I had the foresight to do this before I started because my cheap ass bedframe absolutely would've given out.

As for the actual experience (the part you actually asked about). There's not really anything going on at your tip since the pumpkin is hollow, so you're only really deriving pleasure from the point of contact with the shell itself which isn't actually that thick and that kinda results in there being less stimulation than you might expect. I didn't gut mine before doing this but I actually didn't really feel anything in the way of guts even though when looking through the hole I made you could actually see some hanging seeds in the way. Honestly, I really didn't feel much for the majority of my time trying it.

The thing is, fucking the pumpkin effectively without letting it roll to the side or anything required a bit of concentration, and because of that I wasn't really able to fantasize about anything while I went, so I needed an external stimulus in order to actually feel like I was fucking instead of just putting my dick in a pumpkin. I was distracted enough mentally that in order to really feel anything major and properly finish I needed something more than just physical stimulus. In fact, the lack of active squeezing beyond just being tight in combination with the distracted mind was bad enough that when I took it out and used my enlotioned hand for a second it immediately felt better to a downright disappointing degree. Fortunately there was a solution to this, I just needed some more external stimulus, this time for my brain and not my dick. That's right I wiped off my hand as best I could, whipped out my phone and started looking at porn. For a while I still wasn't getting much but after swapping to just rewatching stuff from my favorite artist and really focusing on the imaginary aspects of it I was able to immerse myself well enough to finally climax.

I'll be honest, it was literally the best orgasm I've ever had. It was a somewhat frustrating challenge to actually get there, but after a lot of disappointment and general lack of stimulus I finally managed to really get my head in the game and get going and after that it just became way better. Seriously, it went from "staying hard but basically no feeling" to "I'm actually not sure if I came already because the feeling is so intense that I can't tell".

TLDR: It was a challenge but in the end it was absolutely worth it. 4/10 setup and startup experience, 10/10 finishing experience. It's a stereotype worth perpetuating. 

Oh also, the pumpkin is still usable as a decoration, just gut it and turn the hole into part of the face like that was all it was ever there for. The hole will look visibly smoother once you're done with it so do carve it a little wider to remove the smoothed down parts and eradicate the evidence. The one I fucked is on my porch right now, I just made a third hole and expanded each of the other two a little and now it looks like a stupid little guy.


r/copypasta • • 42m ago

CEO of Cuck Porn

• Upvotes

As an actual cuckold, I'm appalled at the horrible state of the modern cuck porn.

I don't know maybe it's just me and other cucks actually like such porn but I find it completely unarousing. I believe that to most of it's consumers cuckoldry is only tangential to other themes.

First of all, cuck porn NEEDS plot. Yes I know that people don't watch porn for plot but this is the one genre that actually needs plot. Bull should be a handsome, charismatic, masculine, smart and teasing guy. He should prove his superiority over cuck in plot for the cuckold porn to make sense. Actually the personality and looks of a bull are more important than the looks and personality of a girl.

Western cuck porn disregards plot and bulls are uncharismatic bland characters with a horrible acting. Just straight sex with some other guy sitting in a room and watching. I mean what's the point of it all.

Japanese porn(both drawn and JAV) on the other hand have plot but often make the bull disgusting and rapey with the girl gradually begining to enjoy it due to blackmail, mind control, mind break etc. and like fuck this rapey stuff off I hate it. She should herself immediately realize the superiority of the bull over cuck without any coercion. Bull should be handsome and charismatic, not ugly and creepy. Though I do respect the Japanese for having guts to do the abortion fetish in their drawn porn, I love the idea of my girl aborting my kids but keeping the other men's.

Then there is cuck porn where the girl cheats for money. This is a completely not cuck porn at all, not just a bad one, the cuck part is just completely absent in such situations. The dynamics are ruined and make no sense, the emotional and humiliating part are gone like wtf is this.

Then there are weird race stuff about white(in western porn) and asian(in Japanese and Korean porn) girls being taken by black and brown men and I don't even want to talk about it. It's just cringe.

All in all finding a good actual cuck porn is very hard nowadays. I just wonder whether it's because other cucks have a horrible taste or because somehow they're not a proper true cucks and it's a part of some other fetish.


r/copypasta • • 6h ago

These LARPERS DUMB AS FUCK 😂

10 Upvotes

These LARPERS DUMB AS FUCK 😂 early 2000s/2010s "Anime is not yet popular in the west, so I don't like anime" NOW 2020s "OMG I LOVE ANIME UWU SOOOOO KAWAII, GOJO IS THE MAIN CHARACTER OF JJK I'M SOOOOO SMART" Gosh i'm just dying for these imbeciles to take an iq test, to laugh at how stupid they're are. You normie dumbfucks may even make history for being the first persons with NEGATIVE iq. Absolute fucking sheep, so when anime isn't popular you fucking hate it and think it's for "losers." Even if it's actually good of course. But when it becomes popular you normie fucking retards like it all of a suddden??? When I swear to GOD 7 or 8 years ago you would slam someone into a locker, because they dared to draw "One of those weird chinesse cartoons." While bragging about it to your "friend group" of braindead uncultured swines.

DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MUCH I COME TO HATE YOU NORMIES, SINCE I BEGAN TO LIVE THERE ARE EXACTLY 36 TRILLION CELLS MAKING UP MY BEING IF THE WORLD "hate" were to be engrave into each atom of my 36 trillion cells, it wouldn't equal TO A ONE ONE-BILLONTH of the amount of hate I feel for you normies this mirco-instant. Anyway to get back to my point WHEN ANIME IS FINALLY POPULAR AND WE WEEBOOS CAN FINALLY LIVE IN PEACE WITHOUT GETTING OUR NUTS KICKED IN... CURSE YOU, YOU GLUE SNIFFING, PAINT EATING WASTE OF OXYGEN, YOU JUST HAVE TO RUIN ANIME/MANGA FOR WHO EVERYONE WHO ACTUALLY ENJOYED IT. NOT BECAUSE IT WAS POPULAR, NOT BECAUSE IT MADE US LOOK COOL, BUT BECAUSE IT MADE US HAPPY, IT MADE US FEEL SOMETHING. A LOT OF ANIME/MANGA HAD AUTHORS HAD PUT THIER BLOOD, SWEAT, TEARS AND SOUL FOR THE PEOPLE WHO LOVED WHAT THEY WERE MAKING JUST AS MUCH AS THE CREATOR DID. Anime in the early 2000s and 2010s the peak years 🥹 HAD A COMMUNITY THAT SOMETIMES WOULD SPEND HUNDREDS OF HOURS MAKING FAN WORKS JUST BECAUSE THEY LOVED IT THAT MUCH!! isn't that beautiful? doesn't that just make you emotional? No of course not BECUASE THOSE ARE ALL HUMAN THINGS THAT A BITCHASS SHIT EATING MORON SUCH AS YOURSELF WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND. I SWEAR YOU NIGGA'S ARE SO MEDIA ILLITERATE YOU SOMEHOW MAKE HOMER SIMPISON LOOK LIKE A GENIUS. YOUR FUCKING TAKES ARE SOO FUCKING, FUCKING GGGRR YOU'RE GIVING ME A LITTLE INCEL RAGE FROM HOW MUCH I JUST HATE... HATE.... HATE... BUT IT'S GIVING THE MOST "I HAVE NEVER SEEN A SINGLE FRAME OF AN ANIME IN MY ENTIRE WORTHLESS LIFE COATED" THAT IT MAKES MY SOUL BLEED FROM THE SHEAR LEVEL OF LARP IT EXUDES. YOU TREND FOLLOWING SHEEP HATE ANIME WHEN IT'S UNPOPULAR LOVE ANIME WHEN IT IS POPULAR.

DO YOU EVER FUCKING LIKE SOMETHING BECAUSE YOU GENUINELY BELIEVE IT'S GOOD, AND IS PERSONALLY MEANINGFUL TO YOU? NO! BECAUSE DOING THAT TAKES TAKE UP THE ALL THE REMAINING BRAINCELLS THAT YOU CLEARLY HAVE SO LITTLE OF. BECAUSE THAT'S TOO HUMAN FOR YOU. TO ACTUALLY LIKE SOMETHING BECAUSE IT CONNECTS WITH YOU ON A PERSONAL, INTIMATE LEVEL. WHICH YOU CANNOT AND NEVER WILL UNDERSTAND, BEING INMATE WITH ANYONE. BECAUSE YOUR SOOO FUCKING FAKE THERE IS NO YOU!! YOU'RE ALL NEURON DEFICIENT NORMIES WHO ONLY LIKES SOMETHING JUST BECAUSE IT'S POPULAR.

WE ALL GOT PHYSICALLY, AND SOCIALLY OUTCASTED JUST BECAUSE WE HAPPENED TO BE EARLY FOR A MEDIUM THAT WASN'T YET POPULAR IN THE WEST. IF IT WERE UP TO ME YOU WOULD BE THE ONES GETTING SOCIALLY OUTCAST, FOR PRETENDING TO LIKE SOMETHING ONLY BECAUSE IT'S SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE. If it were up to me Instead of being called the absolute and complete utter rubbish that you idiots came up with such as "Weeb" "loser" "nerd" "virgin" The 200iq redpill geniuses such as myself would call you insults that would be targeted specially at you cum-brained vermin normie sheep. Insults suggest it's creator has incredible aura and intellect like "LARP" and "LARPER" "FAKE" "RETARDED CATTLE WHO ONLY LIKES SHIT BECAUSE IT'S SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE, AND HAPPENS TO BE VERY POPULAR AT THE MOMENT BUT THEN PRECEDES TO LIKE NEXT POPULAR THING BECAUSE THEY HAVE NO MIND OF THEIR FUCKING OWN."

But unfortunately for me we don't live in that perfect world. Awww what is that too meaan? HYPOCRITE! HYPOCRITE!! I TELL YA WHAT ABOUT ALL THE TIMES YOU DID WAAYYY FUCKING WORSE TO US HUH, PUSSY?? DON'T LIKE THE BITTER TASTE OF YOU'RE OWN *sigh* Medicine. GO CRY TO YOUR DADDA, OH WAIT I FORGOT YOU DON'T HAVE A FATHER DO YOU? 🤣🤣🤣 HE FUCKING LEFT TO GET THE MILK BEFORE YOU WERE EVEN TWO. And about my own father? That's besides the point.

We weeboos spent years of our lives, into creating the culture that we see today. JUST FOR YOU'RE BOT CLANKER FEMALE/MALE ANDROID ASS TO WEAR OUR CULTURE AS A MASK TO HIDE THE HUGE HOLE IN YOUR PATHETIC HEART, and the fact that you have no personality or soul. Do you have any idea what you are doing to us, the toture we had to go through just to watch something that's a little niche? Just for you to fucking rob us of our escapism, by ruining it by making it main stream and subjecting us to your brain dead takes. CUM ON WE CAN'Y HAVE FUCKING ANYTHING CAN WE???? Before anime and manga was "PoPuLAr" in quotion marks because it's popular yet only a 2% of anime "fans" actually watches it. I had received soo much kicks to the nuts when, I was a gay little anime kid on the playground that I am now permanently infertile. FUCK YOU!! BUT THE PROBLEM IS THAT I CAN'T BECAUSE IT WAS YOU "PEOPLE" no CREATURES THAT BROKE MY FUCKING BALLS, SO I CAN'T EVEN HAVE THAT!!

SO NOW!!! APOLOGISE, APOLOGISE FOR ALL THE TIMES YOU TRASHED ON OUR "cHIneSse" CARTOONS APOLOGISE FOR ALL THE TIMES YOU SHOVED US INTO OUR LOCKERS, AND GAVE US A SWIRLY IN THE BOYS BATHROOM, JUST BECAUSE WE HAPPENED TO WATCH SOMETHING WE GEIUNELY LIKED, INSTEAD OF LARP LARP LARP SAHUR, *GETS A BASEBALL BAT AND HITS MY HEAD FOR 21 HOURS STRAIGHT* FAKE FAKE FUCKING FAKE HAHA I'M SO DUMB.

APOLOGISE FOR WHEN YOU AND YOUR GROUP OF NORMIE RETARDS SAID "ANIME IS FOR VIRGIN LOSERS WHO LIVE IN THEIR MOTHERS BASEMENT." YOU SHOULD RIP YOUR DICK OF FOR US WEEBOOS. WAIT YOUR NOT GOING TO? IS IT BECAUSE THEN YOU WOULD HAVE TO ADMIT YOU WERE WRONG? YOU DON'T WANT TO FACE THE CONSEQUENCES OF YOUR OWN ACTIONS? AND STILL GET TO REAP THE BENFITS OF GETTING CLOUT AND SOCIAL POINTS OF SOMETHING POPULAR THAT YOU ARE NOW NOW DESTORYING. WITH YOUR O'SO GENIUS IDEA TO CENSOR ANIME BECAUSE YOU FIND IT "OFFENSIVE." YOU DON'T ACTUALLY LIKE IT DO YOU? IF YOU DID YOU COULD JUST NOT ENGAGE WITH THE MEDIUM?? BUT NO YOU NORMIES LACK ANY TYPE OF COMMON SENSE.

FUCKING RETARDS FOR THE SAKE OF EVERYONE AROUND YOU, KILL YOURSELF AND MAYBE ONE SINGLAR PERSON WILL GIVE A SHIT ABOUT YOU, BUT THEN FORGET ABOUT YOU A WEEK LATER.

THE FUCKING END BITCH Agggrr GGRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *Shoots self in the face with a shotgun*


r/copypasta • • 22h ago

That one r/childfree post, but every "children" is replaced with "furries"

8 Upvotes

I don’t understand why my not wanting to be around furries makes people so angry??

I don’t particularly like furries. Not in the sense that I’d go out of my way to be mean to them, I just don’t want to be around furries if I can avoid it.

The city I live in is heavily populated with furries. They have essentially taken over all the restaurants, breweries, and even the bars any time before 8:00 (and sometimes after then as well). I would have less of an issue with this if they at least watched their little furs but they don’t.

I asked in a local sub about any furry-free restaurants, just to see if any existed. I made it very clear I wasn’t looking for a debate, wasn’t hating on anyone, was ONLY looking for restaurants. I got SO MUCH hate and nasty PMs.

People were bringing up my post history, saying I need therapy because I post in AITA sometimes. It was suggested that I might shoot up a school for some reason. Most people said that I just needed to stop whining about furries and get over it or eat at home if I can’t handle furries, which was at the most unhelpful. I got PMs telling me I’m a disturbed and selfish individual and soooo many comments along the lines of “you were a furry once too!”. Even a reddit cares PM.

I just wanted restaurant recommendations.


r/copypasta • • 22h ago

Everybody thought I was printing hello world...

5 Upvotes

Everybody thought I was printing hello world, but I was just inputting a string into a function made to look like a print statement. What I did was import the system module, use the write method on the standard output attribute, and then wrap it in a function that takes in a string as a parameter to give it that print look. Type the function out, press run, and it outputted straight to the terminal. Looked just like a print statement.


r/copypasta • • 3h ago

slopdows

3 Upvotes

slopdows has bloatware, spyware (telemetry collects data, and so does spyware), and restrictions built in, and its unstable. Linux is also less vulnerable than windows. "oh i got nothing to hide" then would u let me install spyware granting me access to your data on your pc? U would say no, right? Thats called wanting privacy 🥺 You cant even remove ALL of the pre-installed bloat and spyware 💔 When i used windows (and this is an issue many ppl experience) i just booted my computer up normally and litterally tried to log in and it wouldnt let me because apparently some RPC server was broken, and i had to wait so long for windows auto repair to repair my system. on linux u can play 95% of games and most of them with better performance, and yes, many kernel anticheat games arent supported on linux but if u play games with those anticheats genuinely get a life, imagine giving kernel access to a random game developer which could spy on u and steal ur data at any time, u also add more vulnerability to ur computer because if a hacker hacks the anticheat they have access to ur computer💔 also, since u dont have restrictions on linux u can personalize it, modify it and optimize it way more than slopdows. Linux is objectively better. Also SteamOS on the Steam Deck and Steam Machine is based on Arch Linux, and even your bank runs on linux. 80% of servers are currently running Linux. 100% of the top 500 on Arch Linux, and even your bank runs on linux. 80% of servers are currently running Linux. 100% of the top 500 fastest supercomputers on earth run Linux. Android is based on AOSP which is Linux. Indirectly, you are using linux daily. Tiktok servers run linux. Microsoft servers run Linux even tho they made windows and windows server edition exists. The Windows NT kernel that even windows 11 currently uses is from 1993.


r/copypasta • • 5h ago

Why do people mistake me for my mom’s spouse?

2 Upvotes

This is genuinely bugging me out. I'm only 20, yet people keep mistaking me for my mom's spouse, friend, or boyfriend.

My mom is in her mid 40s, and I'm still 20, so I genuinely don't understand why this keeps happening.

I went to the hospital once, and someone literally asked if I was her friend or boyfriend.

Like, genuinely, this is confusing. I've already asked several people if I look old, and they all said I look like I'm in my mid 20. So I don't think I look like some 30 year old guy.

I honestly don't understand why people keep assuming that I'm my mom's partner rather than her son.

Like it is understandable if they thought I don't resemble my mom but a lot of son doesn't resemble their mom


r/copypasta • • 18h ago

"yeah but jacking off in the toilet is kinda sad like makes you contemplate your life choices"

2 Upvotes

it is when you see masturbation as a moment of pleasure but to me it's a routine.

How many times a day do you masturbate? Owning discord.gg/incelcord, keeping track of stocks, and editing random peoples work to a T.. You gotta go for atleast 3 faps a day, and the bathroom is where I find solace..


r/copypasta • • 21h ago

Just spent a solid 40 minutes writing this original for no clear reason so I beg you to indulge me (only a spoonful)

2 Upvotes

On June 6th, 2013, well-known Canadian-American internet personality Andrew Byron “King Bach” Bachelor posted a comedy video to the now-defunct short-form video platform Vine.

In the video, King Bach portrays himself as a rather hungry character who stands near a large refrigerator, and who seems to be pertinaciously aiming to obtain some delicious ice cream, which we learn is currently in the possession of his friend, a second character portrayed by one of King Bach’s friends.

King Bach’s character in the video then proceeds, unsurprisingly given the circumstances, to ask his friend “hey dawg, can I get some ice cream?”, which is to indicate that he is seeking his friend’s permission to consume some of the ice cream that his friend is implied to be keeping in the freezer portion of the refrigerator at the moment.

His friend seems a bit skeptical of this request and furrows his brow, but since it sounds fairly innocuous at first inspection, he concedes while adding the caveat “only a spoonful..”, which he apparently feels confident will be sufficient to discourage any potential trickery King Bach might be planning.

We quickly find out that this is not the case however, unfortunately for King Bach’s friend, because King Bach assumes a more devious sly-grin expression and wastes no time at all in producing, as though out of nowhere, a spoon of unusually enormous proportions.

This spoon in fact appears large enough to support several of the one gallon ice cream cartons commonly sold in American grocery stores if King Bach desired to do so, and as such it immediately becomes apparent that the “only a spoonful” restriction will impose no meaningful limitations as to what portion of the friend’s ice cream King Bach will be able to consume.

This is funny because most average people in America don’t carry a spoon with them at all on a daily basis, even one of normal proportions, and so the fact that King Bach has ready access to one of such immense size is actually quite unexpected, and thus the spoon in this context can be considered “comically large”.

By introducing this surprising twist to the video, where King Bach’s friend believes he has safely protected the majority of his ice cream, only to learn that he has in fact drastically underestimated the mischievous and unpredictable nature of his foil, King Bach himself, King Bach managed to create an absurd and comical moment that highlights how our preconceived expectations for the world can deceive us. This is why the video was added to the 2013 Epic Vines Compilation.


r/copypasta • • 18m ago

Trigger Warning Don't get into yuri, guys.

• Upvotes

his unironically happened to me and it ruined my life

I was a complete yuri fanatic, I kept hundreds of yuri comics/manga, watched everything with yuri inserted, drew yuri and of course pleasured myself to yuri.

It got to the point where I began to make a gender bent self insert in my yuri art. Her name was michelle.

I inserted her into a relationship with ragatha from TADC. I began to experiment with cross dressing irl soon after, then makeup, and soon I started to go out in public with all of it on.

I told myself that I'd stop because I knew it was unhealthy. I could feel my mind breaking but I was too addictive to quit.

Around Aug of 2025, I started taking hrt. This was when I knew I was too far gone.

I still haven't gotten surgery, I'm too poor for that. Because of this, I look like a freak show, women are more repulsed by me now than ever, I gained 50 pounds, and my family won't even look me in the eye anymore.

Don't get into yuri, guys. I know it's tempting but it's a gateway drug


r/copypasta • • 1h ago

Mathematics will attract minors

• Upvotes

Mathematics will attract those it can attract, but it will do nothing to overcome resistance to science. Science is universal in principle but in practice it speaks to very few. Mathematics may be considered a communication skill of the highest type, frictionless so to speak; and at the opposite pole from mathematics, the fruits of science show the practical benefits of science without the use of words. But those fruits are ambivalent. Science as science does not speak; ideally, all scientific concepts are mathematized when scientists communicate with one another, and when science displays its products to non-scientists it need not, and indeed is not able to, resort to salesmanship. When science speaks to others, it is no longer science, and the scientist becomes or has to hire a publicist who dilutes the exactness of mathematics. In doing so, the scientist reverses his drive toward mathematical exactness in favor of rhetorical vagueness and metaphor, thus ______________________. (3 points)

① degrading his ability to use the scientific language needed for good salesmanship

② surmounting the barrier to science by associating science with mathematics

③ inevitably making others who are unskillful in mathematics hostile to science

④ neglecting his duty of bridging the gap between science and the public

⑤ violating the code of intellectual conduct that defines him as a scientist


r/copypasta • • 5h ago

To be fair

0 Upvotes

To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand Rick and Morty. The humor is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of theoretical physics most of the jokes will go over a typical viewer's head. There's also Rick's nihilistic outlook, which is deftly woven into his characterisation - his personal philosophy draws heavily fromNarodnaya Volya literature, for instance. The fans understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of these jokes, to realize that they're not just funny- they say something deep about LIFE. As a consequence people who dislike Rick and Morty truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldn't appreciate, for instance, the humour in Rick's existencial catchphrase "Wubba Lubba Dub Dub," which itself is a cryptic reference to Turgenev's Russian epic Fathers and Sons I'm smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as Dan Harmon's genius unfolds itself on their television screens. What fools... how I pity them. 😂 And yes by the way, I DO have a Rick and Morty tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. It's for the ladies' eyes only- And even they have to demonstrate that they're within 5 IQ points of my own (preferably lower) beforehand.


r/copypasta • • 7h ago

Why are these threads so popular

1 Upvotes

This has gotta be some kind of mass hysteria, like the dancing sickness or whatever it was called. This is weird as hell, ya'all. I dunno about this. It's kinda creepy and just not normal. It's like everyone is joking but the joke isn't funny. It makes me uncomfortable. I'm like physically cringing. Like Jeffrey Dahmer would be all up in this thread with ya'all, it's that creepy of a vibe. I'm just not digging this. I can't groove with it. It rustles my jimmies. It grinds my gears. It's like nails on a chalkboard. Unpleasant to look at, unpleasant to imagine. It puts the dark in dark world, and not in a good way. This isn't some Jack Skellington feel good spoopy time fun, it's rather disturbing. I guess the point is, do not want.


r/copypasta • • 10h ago

Valve, this is your final warning.

1 Upvotes

I’m literally shaking while writing this.

I genuinely don’t understand how Valve has let it get this far. I’ve been patiently waiting for the new patch for months because after working a 9–5, I just want to come home, queue up some ranked, and spend quality time with my wife’s boyfriend’s smurf account without the meta being exactly the same as it was in spring.

Yesterday I refreshed the Dota blog 47 times. Nothing. I checked IceFrog’s Twitter, which hasn’t been updated since 2019, and somehow I still felt personally ignored. Apparently not releasing the patch wasn’t enough, because Valve also put out a new Arcana and acted like that was content.

Then my wife asked me why I was standing in the kitchen staring at my phone at 3am. I hadn’t done anything wrong, yet I was made to feel like I was the problem. I understand patches take time to make, but surely there should be some protection for players who have made it clear they’ve already theorycrafted every possible item change.

And why is “Valve Time” still a thing? I have four kids, two jobs and barely any free time. I need patches on a schedule I personally agreed to. I shouldn’t have to learn to enjoy the current meta just because Valve thinks everyone has unlimited patience.

I don’t want the patch to be good. I just want it to exist.

I had to take a break from writing this post because my hands were shaking too much to type. My wife’s boyfriend brought me a glass of water. Even he agrees this has gone too far.

So this is my ultimatum: if the patch is not out by Friday, I will uninstall Dota. I will not reinstall it on Saturday. I will reinstall it on Sunday, but only to check whether the patch is out, and if it isn’t, I will be extremely disappointed again.

I’ve already contacted Steam Support and I’m genuinely considering legal action against Valve for emotional damages. I paid for a free-to-play game and I expect the experience I was promised. I’m currently looking into consumer protection laws, so if anyone here has legal experience with this kind of situation, I’d appreciate some advice. Also if anyone knows when the patch drops, please DM me. Not Valve though, I’m not speaking to them.


r/copypasta • • 16h ago

The Renoir Gene

1 Upvotes

The Renoir Gene: Agustin Renoir was a great classical composer, known for his romanticism. His son was Pierre-Auguste Renoir, a great painter known for impressionism. His son was Jean Renoir, a great filmmaker known for Grand Illusion and Rules of the Game, influencing the French New Wave. His son was Claudio Renoir, founder of Ubisoft, creator of Rayman, and co-developer of Capcom's Resident Evil 4, a great video game developer. His son was Eric Renoir, better known as Glutonny, a Wario main from France who is one of the greatest Super Smash Bros. Ultimate players in the world.


r/copypasta • • 18h ago

0/10 ragebait 🥱🥱

0 Upvotes

0/10 ragebait 🥱🥱


r/copypasta • • 23h ago

AITA for giving my step-dad ED

0 Upvotes

Ok so basically a thing about me is I love music, ans have deep autism so whenever I hear any kind of music I instantly have to play along with it, and weirdly I started hearing music coming out of my parents bedroom a few months ago when my step-dad moved in, I couldn't help it amd started singing along to the beat (the clapping coming out of the room) because it felt right, my parenys came to mu room and shushed me, but I told them if they wanted me quiet they shouldn't have played music, they sighed and just told me to go to sleep, but almost everyday since, I heard the same music, along with my mom doing a bizare version of screaming saying "oh yes" and "harder" I couldn't stop inventing Michael Jackson songs and juice wrld freestyles on the spot, and after a few months my mom came ro me with the bad news, mg step-dad got some kinda medical condition, that apparently weakened his blood flow, called "ED" i only know the movie ET so I told him maybe more of my music would help and my parenys broke down crying, their crying closely resembled a rod wave song so I couldn't help but sing to the crying, which weirdly made them cry more, and they said I ruined their life, I said its not my fault they don't like my music, the world doesnt revolve around their ears, and im kind of stumped cuz i dont understand how music can cause a blood flow issue, so i came to reddit ro shate my experience, so am I the asshole?


r/copypasta • • 21h ago

As a Gen Z womxn...

0 Upvotes

As an older Gen Z woman (who frankly feels violated and deeply angry with this constant “low birthrate” discussion I see in the news, as do my friends), I’m unlikely to be interested in marrying or having a child. Under no circumstances would I have more than one. I’m not going to change my last name, have my freedom to do things like travel restricted, or take an extended period of time off from a job to take care of a child, either, unless I somehow become very wealthy. And that’s not even getting into the physical impacts of pregnancy & childbirth, which are immense.

This is not considered acceptable to say out loud, but I would rather not have a child or have just one in my late 30s/early 40s if possible than have kids earlier and not be able to give them a certain level of lifestyle. I would require a nanny, housekeeper, night nurse, housing in a top school district or preferably to be able to send a child to an independent day school etc. I went to very underperforming public schools and would never in a million years send a child to schools like the ones I attended. Although I had wonderful parents, there were certain things I wanted as a child like to participate in club swimming in k-12, go to private high school, and study abroad in college but could not have. And I would need to be able to guarantee any future child of mine could have those experiences.

I know people will say “but your ancestors were dirt poor and had kids”—-yeah they didn’t have other opportunities. As a woman I have a lot more opportunities than even my grandmothers did, and for that I’m grateful. My paternal grandmother had 9 children and I’ve heard some disturbing stories about her life.