hello all! we just had a healthy baby girl! when she was born we found out she has a cleft palate. it was unexpected so I wasn’t prepared or informed on what to do. no one has really given us any details. just referring us to specialist. we have a referral but have not have heard anything yet. so I don’t know if its a bad case or a small case or what. what is going on what do I do? do I just go with this referral for her surgery? my sister works at stanford and CHLA do I go there instead? i have been feeding her sideways and she seems to be eating alright. is there anything I can get her to make life a little easier. sounds like she is choking while she sleeps. I have been sleeping her on her side. In addition to this she failed her hearing test at the hospital. So I don’t know if she can hear? I keep making loud noises and clapping doesnt seem to startle her at all! Is hearjng loss common? Can I fox it? any tips any advice. ? thanks! from a lost and hopeful dad

Has anyone had success using lip filler to fix asymmetry from a cleft? I’ve done it twice now with juvederm and the results are great at first but then it migrates around the scar tissue :(

Is there a better filler option out there?

Need experienced cleft jaw surgeon recommendations! 🦷 We are willing to travel anywhere in the US for the right care, but we're having trouble deciding.
Has anyone here (or someone you know) used any of these specific doctors?
Dr. Elda Fisher (Duke / NC)
Dr. Bonnie Padwa (Boston / MA)
Dr. Richard Hopper (Texas)
Dr. Brian Kinard (Alabama)
If you've used them—or have an amazing jaw surgeon elsewhere you highly recommend—please drop their name or DM me! Any insights mean the world to us. Thank you! ❤️

Looking for experience with him. Also have you been able to get insurance to cover rhinoplasty? I can’t breathe out of the right side of my nose and am hoping a surgery might solve this

I don't care if anyone thinks I'm being dramatic. I'm 22 and have been in braces since I had just turned 15. Seemingly, no end in fucking sight. I had jaw surgery in March and I'm still swollen from it. I still don't seem to have much jaw definition yet. On top of that, my mouth looks fucking ugly. My lips look fucking ugly. My teeth look fucking ugly. I wish I had a mouth that looked attractive, BUT NOOOOO. My nose is pudgy and I desperately need rhinoplasty.

AND ALL OF THIS WOULDN'T BE THE CASE IF I WASN'T BORN WITH A FUCK ASS BILATERAL CLEFT LIP AND PALATE. I GOT THE WORST OF THE WORST IN CLEFT CASES. THANK FUCKING GOD MY PARENTS HAD MONEY AND GOOD HEALTH INSURANCE GROWING UP. OR ELSE I'D BE GROSS. HELL, I STILL AM GROSS. FUCK THIS SHIT. PEOPLE DOWNPLAY IT LIKE ITS SOME EASILY FIXABLE THING BUT NOW IM STUCK LOOKING LIKE THIS FOREVER.

edit: I've seen parents on this sub complaining about the hardship it puts on them as parents. WHY DON'T YOU THINK ABOUT THE HARDSHIPS THEY'LL ENDURE AS A CHILD??

I hear plastic surgeons there are one of the best.

I'm debating if I'll get another rhinoplasty. I like my nose, but my tip is still crooked. I'd like a more defined tip, and make it look less flat.

its "memoir of a snail" and i recommend

Hello fellow clefties,

Does anybody else just constantly breathe in spit/drinks/food by accident? I'm always having coughing fits and sometimes they go on for quite awhile. It's pretty awkward and I often just excuse myself to the restroom to sort it out. It often feels like I can't breathe then, can't swallow properly, or like there's something stuck in my throat/lungs. Sometimes I actually worry I'll suffocate from it.

I wake up in the night coughing and when I wake up in the morning I have to cough for an hour before I can breathe normally. It seems like many foods and drinks cause extra mucus/irritation which only adds to the issue.

I've gotten swallowing tests done and they said everything's working properly. Lungs show no signs of bronchitis. But this is really annoying me.

Bonus points because I'm a menopausal mom with no pelvic floor tone so when I cough... you may be able to guess what happens. It's also extra super fun when you're already having a hot flash 😆🥵

I (19m hate the ugly face that stares back at me even typing this or thinking about it makes me horribly uncomfortable i hate everything about my face I wish id never been born

how do you guys cope with instagram existing

holy shit this app ruins my life just the mere fact that it exists and has 3 billion active monthly users

Hi everyone,

​I wanted to share a bit of my story and see if anyone else has gone through something similar.

I’ve only had two surgeries,one at birth and another cleft lip repair at 16. The second one made very little difference(or well no diff at all), especially with my nose structure and nostril symmetry, mainly because good plastic surgery access is limited where I live. Ever since that surgery, I also get occasional pain inside my nose. Because my nasal base is uneven, standard cosmetic nasal lifters don't work for me either.Also my parents never prioritized cleft care, and I had to beg my dad just to get that surgery at 16. I really wish and hope to become rich enough in the future so that I can easily afford to fund a proper revision myself with a good specialist.

Right now in my late teens, my appearance and wanting to feel confident feel like everything. But sometimes I wonder ,by the time I'm older and can hopefully afford it, will I even care as much about my looks, or is getting a revision later in life still completely worth it for confidence and physical comfort?

​Has anyone here funded their own revision later on or experienced inner nasal pain after a repair? I’d love to hear your thoughts. Thanks for reading

Looking for Friends, you can DM.

Hello im m17 and i am writing this in a depressive state as of now.I recently just saw professional photos of me and my girlfriend and all i can think of is how beautiful she is and how disgusting i look next to her,and it always just makes me wonder why she picked me.She calls me her handsome boy and her sweet boy but i cant fathom she chose a person with my defect.Both of her previous exes were taller than me,more wealthier and alot more handsome than i could ever be and i cant help but feel like shes only with me because she knows i dont want to hurt her.It kills me to write this because she doesnt deserve any of this,she deserves a person who wont have to always worry about their speech or nose or even fucking introducing themselves.I hate my smile because its uneven and it brings so much attention to my cleft palate and lip and i hate it,and i hate the fact that she has to deal with it even more.She often makes jokes about me that hurt and even if thats not her intention she feels bad because she can see i get hurt by everything.I want fo change so badly i want to accept that im a defect and move on.I want to feel good about myself for the first time in my 17 years of life,i want people to love me.Not out of pity.I dont think i deserve love or can get it from a person whos not blind and not deaf.i know im not extremely ugly but the sight of myself in photos enrages me.I just saw this post about a woman who had to leave her boyfriend due to how his cleft palate led him to get cheated on,bullied and isolated which led him to become angry and insecure,and i got so terrified because thats me.Im the fucking problem in my family,my parents spend so fucking much on my surgeries for me to just not be able to speak properly.I wasnt meant to be loved,i was meant to be aborted i one day hope my girlfriend realises how pathetic I actually am and i hope my friends replace me with someone better.I dont deserve to be loved,i dont deserve to be respected and i dont want to spend the rest of my life with this.Ive tried speech therapy ive tried trying to accept it but nothing works.No one will ever understand me.Frances if youre reading this,i love you more than anything and i am so sorry that i had to be a burden on you and i still probably am in our relationship.I am sorry for the insecurity and im so fucking sorry for failing you over and over as a boyfriend.I dont want to be full of anger but i am,im angry at my parents for not aborting me.I wish they didnt have to put me through this suffering.Maybe when i reincarnate ill be someone worth loving.i dont plan on ending the suffering but the thought is constant.

Parent here. My son needs to decide between using orthodontics and implanting two missing teeth OR getting jaw surgery to correct an underbite. For context, he has bollard plates, which have actually helped a ton, but his top teeth are still sitting right behind his bottom teeth. If he picks jaw surgery, it would still be a few years before he did it. If he goes the other route, they could start on that sooner. The main difference the ortho explained was that jaw surgery would have more of an impact on his face structure (bring his cheeks forward more). Anyone had to make a similar decision? Any advice?

I love music, I love putting a cd on in my car and vibbing to work, I love singing whilst washing up or playing games. But my God I just hate how I sound, to myself I think I'm alright but I dont want to fathom how others hear me.

I have a speech assessment coming up so I sincerely hope It'll go well, fingers crossed!

Hi all. My baby was diagnosed (first time mom here) was a complete unilateral right sided cleft lip and palate, cleft lip measuring 8.3 mm and palate measuring 4.3mm. They would not tell me how severe is this - but shes only 21 weeks and has lots of time to grow. Can anyone provide some background on just how bad this is? please be honest

Yk, i am 20 from Germany, and since forever i am counting years until i get my nose fixed. I always told my self, that it isnt so bad, however at my darkest moments, its always the cleft and my nose. They make me feel haloed down- Like me myslef experiences the halo. Its funny, cause it happened multiple times, when i was with my freinds, they got asked wheter they go to uni and i got asked wheter i work already. Its like impling snce i am not attractive and deforemed, that i am less educated. and it really gets me. i dont wanna look this way anymore. i am tired of it.

I’m 48 and was born a duel-cleft. It’s a weird circumstance that’s kind of ruined my whole life. I’ve had one or two major surgeries every year since birth up until I was about 12… then it was once a year into my early 20s…

The best part was the myriad of “professionals” they would call into the room to see me… it was like being a specimen on a table; never referring to you by your name, or even like you were in the room with them… All if a sudden, (pulls up your lip) “if you look here, you’ll see…” blah blah blah… when you’re 3, you remember but don’t understand, when you’re 8, you’re polite and quiet, when you’re 12, you’re angry but still respectful… after, something just dies and you don’t feel human anymore.

Anyhow, 48 years later and I’m always considered the funniest, most kind, and somehow… “attractive” person in the room… but I always walk away and head home alone. I have my three cats and three dogs and I really don’t trust anyone else. Divorced once, ex-fiancé, and a handful of ex girlfriends is it. Always been happy, but wondering… maybe it’s me?

Somehow, no matter what happens, I still feel like that little kid that heard all the other kids (and more grownups than you would believe) laughing at me and calling me ugly or retarded, just because of a small defect that happened because of circumstances beyond my control.

A little bitter tonight, but tomorrow will be better. It always is. Thanks for listening.

Do you guys think I need any more surgeries? My old rhinoplasty doctor recently called me asking if I wanted to come in for lip injections. Curious to hear everyone's thoughts or experiences with fillers vs. revision surgery

Hey all, just wondering how many of you guys also have ear issues, specifically one ear that’s always clogging or getting infected, losing hearing temporarily. For me it’s always been my left ear, and it’s always been explained to be because of my cleft lip. Every few years it gets bad enough to where I can’t hear much out of my left ear, and this is what I found inside today. At urgent care today because even though we got most of it out, and it seemed to be better, I woke up today with it feeling worse. Super annoying, I clean my ears with eardrops as often as I can but it never helps. Funny thing is my right ear is often dirtier but never gives me issues.

Update: got it all flushed out but my eardrum is perforated and water got behind, so I’m in more pain now 🫩