r/circlejerk • • 1h ago

My dad just died after a long painful illness so cheered myself up with some home made air fryer tortilla base veg pizza

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• Upvotes

r/circlejerk • • 21h ago

I am Donald Trump AMA

108 Upvotes

Covfefe


r/circlejerk • • 1h ago

im emmanual macron aita?

• Upvotes

everyone is destroying paris and calling for me to step down. am I the asshole?


r/circlejerk • • 11h ago

If you was offered $300k for Ron Jeremy to get you from behind while you ate out Whoopi Goldberg would you accept?

7 Upvotes

It would be streamed live to corn hub but you got a ski mask on. Once Ron and Whoopi are taken care of you must finish inside Bella Ramsey (ugly Ellie from last of us hbo series) missionary position. Then you will collect your $300k USD and $50 gift card to Starbucks. Are you in or out?


r/circlejerk • • 10h ago

poppy bonner. wow to get a poppy boner

3 Upvotes

sitting in the forest near walters road, explain in less than 5 minutes

starting with the river and bathing in it, fluid flows around me


r/circlejerk • • 1d ago

Gained 200 pounds and BF says I am fat. Should I dump him? Honest opinions ONLY!

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18 Upvotes

r/circlejerk • • 1d ago

I jack off to reddit Vuori yoga sportswear ads AMA

17 Upvotes

Cum will win.


r/circlejerk • • 1d ago

The bare chested man grabbed a beverage and sat down on a lawn chair. "Why shouldn't I shave these scraggly chest hairs?" he thought to himself.

11 Upvotes

Mother always told me they would grow back thicker than before, but what's to stop me from shaving them again.


r/circlejerk • • 1d ago

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5 Upvotes

<body text>

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r/circlejerk • • 2d ago

(M24) Born deaf, dumb, blind, and addicted to meth. Lost three limbs to frostbite before the age of 10. Kicked out at 11. Diagnosed with rare cancer at 12, shot in the face at 13, and when I was 14, my ballsack was glued to a lit, in-use BBQ grill. The worst part is I've never even kissed a girl.

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155 Upvotes

Eating leftovers until next pay day.


r/circlejerk • • 2d ago

A wise man once said it's all about the details, nobody knows this is on my wedding ring except the wife and I, but I know it's on there and I think it's awesome

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17 Upvotes

r/circlejerk • • 2d ago

M 30

6 Upvotes

Hey m 30 curious. All yours!


r/circlejerk • • 2d ago

When you die your afterlife should be constructed only of games you 100% completed

4 Upvotes

If you don’t like that? Get gooder.


r/circlejerk • • 2d ago

Solved Hey guys, I'm twans and I'm gay. I know this is a gaming sub, so I won't be talking about the game, but instead I'll be talking about sex! Anyways, what sex do you think the fictional characters are in this video game? Oh, by the way, did I mention I'm twans?

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34 Upvotes

r/circlejerk • • 2d ago

Qi 145 , memoria eidetica e segaiolo

3 Upvotes

Amo non essere un genio ma un segaiolo Mi piace segarmi tra amici, mi piace confrontare, dire cazzate, un po' come si fa da adolescenti, o all'università, o con il sommate. Purtroppo il gruppo che frequentavo su Telegram ha chiuso. Amo molto il cameratismo e l'amicizia tra maschi. Mi rilassa trovare un bro , che chiacchiera e si sega, come fare una corsa insieme, allenarsi in palestra, o dicking around.


r/circlejerk • • 2d ago

Favorite colon cancer story?

8 Upvotes

r/circlejerk • • 2d ago

Dionysus: Well if it ain't the two Andys, how the hell are you? Andy: I am Andy, this is Anderson. Partners need a way to differentiate themselves. Dionysus: This is Greece, there are a million guys with my name, by Hades I've even had a romp with a few of them after poker night.

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1 Upvotes

Andy: You don't understand, we are married. Dionysus: These must be your wives who have travelled with you all the way from New York to Athens, with a layover in Paris because you're too cheap for the direct flight plus a five hour cab ride to Mount Olympus. Andy: These are our producers. Dionysus winked and said "I know exactly what you mean."


r/circlejerk • • 3d ago

Please note nothing in this post should be considered medical advice

14 Upvotes

I accept no liability and you should always consult a medical professional , especially if your a turbo gay like me


r/circlejerk • • 3d ago

Outsource all jobs! Americans are lazy!

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11 Upvotes

r/circlejerk • • 3d ago

I am so intelligent

36 Upvotes

I am so intelligent that my comprehension is beyond your comprehension. I am not as average as the average joe. I am so smart and intellectual that I can thus henceforthly only, and only I, myself perchance, mayhaps may understand my self that being it's self of its own self and selflessness' self for its own sake: thus having spoken i may conclude. You are not smart. You are not me. You Are not You. And I - am also not me. End of discourse


r/circlejerk • • 3d ago

A local business used AI, so I'm trying to ruin them while billionaires from afar metaphorically rape my ass, face, and mouth. Am I retarded?

42 Upvotes

r/circlejerk • • 2d ago

They knew

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2 Upvotes

r/circlejerk • • 3d ago

People with no money, no job, no car, no school, no home, no food, no water, no friends, no family, no hoes, no goals, no legs, no hands, no ears, no torso, no nipple, no head, no fucking organs, no desire to fucking live, no fucking friends, no god damn home, no fucking PURPOSE. How's life going?

51 Upvotes

r/circlejerk • • 3d ago

Why does modern food always taste like blood?

6 Upvotes

First the protein craze and now this? Had to switch to soft bread and apple sauce, cause apparently that's the only stuff you can buy nowadays which they haven't 'improved' yet.


r/circlejerk • • 3d ago

Wife diagnosed with colon cancer. Best way to respectfully eat her ass?

50 Upvotes

Well?