r/circlejerk • u/FishQuayDan • 1h ago
r/circlejerk • u/HalifaxRoad • 1h ago
im emmanual macron aita?
everyone is destroying paris and calling for me to step down. am I the asshole?
r/circlejerk • u/HootchieDaddy • 11h ago
If you was offered $300k for Ron Jeremy to get you from behind while you ate out Whoopi Goldberg would you accept?
It would be streamed live to corn hub but you got a ski mask on. Once Ron and Whoopi are taken care of you must finish inside Bella Ramsey (ugly Ellie from last of us hbo series) missionary position. Then you will collect your $300k USD and $50 gift card to Starbucks. Are you in or out?
r/circlejerk • u/RenderEngine • 10h ago
poppy bonner. wow to get a poppy boner
sitting in the forest near walters road, explain in less than 5 minutes
starting with the river and bathing in it, fluid flows around me
r/circlejerk • u/gastro_psychic • 1d ago
Gained 200 pounds and BF says I am fat. Should I dump him? Honest opinions ONLY!
r/circlejerk • u/figbott • 1d ago
I jack off to reddit Vuori yoga sportswear ads AMA
Cum will win.
r/circlejerk • u/toodybreeze • 1d ago
The bare chested man grabbed a beverage and sat down on a lawn chair. "Why shouldn't I shave these scraggly chest hairs?" he thought to himself.
Mother always told me they would grow back thicker than before, but what's to stop me from shaving them again.
r/circlejerk • u/BoomerBrainrot • 2d ago
(M24) Born deaf, dumb, blind, and addicted to meth. Lost three limbs to frostbite before the age of 10. Kicked out at 11. Diagnosed with rare cancer at 12, shot in the face at 13, and when I was 14, my ballsack was glued to a lit, in-use BBQ grill. The worst part is I've never even kissed a girl.
Eating leftovers until next pay day.
r/circlejerk • u/gastro_psychic • 2d ago
A wise man once said it's all about the details, nobody knows this is on my wedding ring except the wife and I, but I know it's on there and I think it's awesome
r/circlejerk • u/rhelg224 • 2d ago
When you die your afterlife should be constructed only of games you 100% completed
If you don’t like that? Get gooder.
r/circlejerk • u/xS-tar • 2d ago
Solved Hey guys, I'm twans and I'm gay. I know this is a gaming sub, so I won't be talking about the game, but instead I'll be talking about sex! Anyways, what sex do you think the fictional characters are in this video game? Oh, by the way, did I mention I'm twans?
r/circlejerk • u/PossibilityWaste1173 • 2d ago
Qi 145 , memoria eidetica e segaiolo
Amo non essere un genio ma un segaiolo Mi piace segarmi tra amici, mi piace confrontare, dire cazzate, un po' come si fa da adolescenti, o all'università, o con il sommate. Purtroppo il gruppo che frequentavo su Telegram ha chiuso. Amo molto il cameratismo e l'amicizia tra maschi. Mi rilassa trovare un bro , che chiacchiera e si sega, come fare una corsa insieme, allenarsi in palestra, o dicking around.
r/circlejerk • u/toodybreeze • 2d ago
Dionysus: Well if it ain't the two Andys, how the hell are you? Andy: I am Andy, this is Anderson. Partners need a way to differentiate themselves. Dionysus: This is Greece, there are a million guys with my name, by Hades I've even had a romp with a few of them after poker night.
Andy: You don't understand, we are married. Dionysus: These must be your wives who have travelled with you all the way from New York to Athens, with a layover in Paris because you're too cheap for the direct flight plus a five hour cab ride to Mount Olympus. Andy: These are our producers. Dionysus winked and said "I know exactly what you mean."
r/circlejerk • u/Beefmeee • 3d ago
Please note nothing in this post should be considered medical advice
I accept no liability and you should always consult a medical professional , especially if your a turbo gay like me
r/circlejerk • u/Chance_Sleep_2151 • 3d ago
I am so intelligent
I am so intelligent that my comprehension is beyond your comprehension. I am not as average as the average joe. I am so smart and intellectual that I can thus henceforthly only, and only I, myself perchance, mayhaps may understand my self that being it's self of its own self and selflessness' self for its own sake: thus having spoken i may conclude. You are not smart. You are not me. You Are not You. And I - am also not me. End of discourse
r/circlejerk • u/BoomerBrainrot • 3d ago
A local business used AI, so I'm trying to ruin them while billionaires from afar metaphorically rape my ass, face, and mouth. Am I retarded?
r/circlejerk • u/Virtual_Today7455 • 3d ago
People with no money, no job, no car, no school, no home, no food, no water, no friends, no family, no hoes, no goals, no legs, no hands, no ears, no torso, no nipple, no head, no fucking organs, no desire to fucking live, no fucking friends, no god damn home, no fucking PURPOSE. How's life going?
r/circlejerk • u/PowerTulip • 3d ago
Why does modern food always taste like blood?
First the protein craze and now this? Had to switch to soft bread and apple sauce, cause apparently that's the only stuff you can buy nowadays which they haven't 'improved' yet.
r/circlejerk • u/gastro_psychic • 3d ago
Wife diagnosed with colon cancer. Best way to respectfully eat her ass?
Well?