she said she wants to involve medical professionals , idk if inpatient or just in general but thats where my mind went... i told her no. what could i have even done in this situation now i have to quit therapy. life sucks so much

I’ve been bulimic for 7 years now and I’ve had disordered eating since I was a child. I feel like I never got the chance to be normal. I love food and I love enjoying it, I wish I was able to eat normally without binging/wanting to purge everything.

I started going to therapy this year after a health scare, but it’s a constant back and forth with myself on whether I want to recover or not. I hate how good it feels to over eat and purge it out. I hate how satisfying it is to not have “consequences” (the consequence is my horrible health lol and my sanity). It’s like I’ll have these moment of clarity only to be set back by the next meal I have to eat.

It’s all I look forward to as well. If I have a bad day? Bp. If I have a good day? Bp. It’s an autopilot response atp.

My therapist told me bulimia recovery takes forever but what’s the point of seeing her every week if nothing changes lol. I feel like I’m wasting both of our time. My health has been getting worse too, my potassium is at a 2.5 last time I checked. I’m dizzy tired my body is sore idk lol

I just had to get this off my chest lol. I hate how my future is in the hands of whether I recover or not. I genuinely wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy.

A bit of venting too?;

i thought wtv all this is im going thru wont ever touch up on this bulimia thing since i thought i got over it already, but it did. Idk what's happening and idk what to do or how to stop it

When i was like 15, i would throw up everything. Literally. Lost a bit of weight, but eventually just stopped doing it for the most part, i dont remember how or why. Though the habit stayed and i would still casually puke from time 2 time.

Well im 18 now and I haven't b/p, let alone just casually puke out food in a year.

Ive been going thru a breakup and everything I'm finding out abt that person and what i thought we had, everything im having to face full force is just ... Wow. I told myself i wont shy away from what i have and need to know since i want accountability over my own actions and what I went thru as well. I want to grow and learn, all that bs

I've been stressed w college too. Haven't done anything that's truly for myself and i cant seem to have the time and energy to do so. I wanna write, draw, read, but everything js ends up being for uni. My sleeping sched has been so wack too; i sleep at around 2am to 8am and wake up 2pm-5pm. Everything's a mess and i already got my first late submitted output

I guess everything piled up together, idk,, it keeps creating this weird empty feeling i cant describe. I eat and it goes away, then when i eat i get this feeling again where i feel, and maybe im hallucinating my whole body expanding and growing. So i have to get it out.

But then hours later or when i wake up, i feel empty again and i wanna eat. I think about food incessantly.

It's hard bc im living off an allowance only and if i keep binging on my food, i wont be able to eat for days until my allowance comes again.

I spent nearly 40% of my allowance last night, impulse buying food i just threw up.

It's hard bc im already at the weight that I've always wanted – and i told myself it's just my period and water, but idk.. i dont want this to be another thing i have to deal with

Idk what to do. I think im stress eating. I haven't rested in so long, I've always been on guard and scared and I've been so paranoid these past few months that i just dont know how to rest anymore.

I've tried journaling, walking out, reading, no phone, talking/calling/hanging with friends, playing with my cats. Sure they help but when im finally alone it's the same bs about food all over again.

I even took up smoking and drinking but no that just really doesn't work. Im aware of how shitty those are

I feel like im still tethered to so much of this..

This b/p thing has been happening for a week now i think? And i think it's escalated quite quickly.

Idk what to ask for honestly, i feel lost

I’m in my late 20s and have struggled with disordered eating for about 9 years, cycling between prolonged fasting, excessive exercise, laxative abuse, diet/detox pills, and occasional vomiting. Since starting medication for bipolar disorder, things have gotten worse, especially with laxatives (oral and suppositories) and more frequent vomiting. Over the past 2-3 months, I’ve been purging around 4-5 days a week, with vomiting about 1–2 times weekly. Lately, nearly every meal I eat leaves me feeling painfully full, nauseated, excessively bloated, and constantly belching, even after relatively normal portions. (This has been going on and off for years, I attributed it to IBS) Vomiting has become easier and temporarily relieves the discomfort, which only reinforces the cycle (I’m also obsessed with the feeling of being empty). I’m worried about things like delayed gastric emptying or functional dyspepsia, but part of me feels like I haven’t purged frequently enough to cause lasting damage. I’m also not underweight, which makes me feel like my struggles aren’t serious enough to justify getting help. I’m exhausted from constantly thinking about food, my weight, and what I look like in the mirror. Has anyone else experienced similar digestive symptoms after years of inconsistent purging, even without being underweight or purging daily?

sooo due to some medical issues i have not been able to purge the past few days… it’s honestly been so hard but im pushing through. I ammm experience some issues that are making me paranoid. The first just mostly being after I eat something it feels like it’s stuck in my throat and not going to my stomach or digesting at all. i’m not choking or anything just soreness and like a feeling somethings in my throat.. uncomfortable.. and it dosent help that i have been having really bad anxiety and it makes me feel like i will suffocate or choke or something but it’s just me freaking myself out. has anyone in recovery felt this? how do i go about fixing it? is it something that will pass or that i need to be concerned about?

hey everyone. wondering if anyone is in the same boat as me (or has been and has any tips). i am 19f and have been lifting for nearly 3 years. the gym and being active is a huge part of my life, its something everyone associates with me and im proud of that!

getting to the gym and finding motivation to move has never been an issue, but my relationship with food has been very on and off my entire life honestly. i have extreme highs and EXTREME lows. i recently lost ~20lbs and was clean from binge eating for a while. but recently it has come back full swing and this time i have been purging (spitting & excessive cardio). i can’t seem to break the cycle and am slowly gaining the weight back. the most frustrating part is
that I KNOW HOW TO EAT!! i know how to “lock in,” so why am i stuck in this cycle?? i know so much about nutrition, disordered eating, how to cook, etc but i just cannot escape. every morning i tell myself it’ll be a good day and all i have to do is “not binge.” i don’t need to be perfect, just NOT BINGE!! but then i fall back into it. the last 2 weeks i have b/p almost every day and i hate it!

any other gym girls been here? my upper body and muscles are still defined, but my abs are totally gone. i’d like to lose the extra fat, but i’m worried that a deficit will make the binging worse. i feel so embarrassed that ive so heavily associated myself with being “fit” just to secretly eat thousands of calories of bullshit

Hello. I’m 22 F been b/p for going on a month now. Earlier in the year I had a b/p phase that lasted less than a month. I don’t remember how it ended. I think I just got too depressed to bother with purging. I gained all the weight back. I’m very overweight so no one will notice or suspect me of this. But I’m really struggling. I begin to panic thinking I have to keep a meal down. The food inside is disgusting to me as I now can visualize what it looks like inside. I need it OUT. I’m not close with my therapist and we don’t talk about deep things. I recently said I have trouble with eating but she assumes it’s under eating. How can I get help with this? What can I expect? Please help me.

ive been telling myself this since the very start of my eating disorder, mid november 2025 was when I actualy got serious about starving. I would restrict and excercise purge, have 0 calories and would walk for 5 hours a day in circls in my room. Then at the start of this year i started b/ping and now i cant stop. the people in my head want out and i just want to throw down the towel and purge till i die. im 19 and idk what to do. Recovery is hard. Ive already destroyedmy body and my hair. its too late

Hi, I am looking to gains ome support for B/P. I have had it for two years, and it is starting to take a strain on my realtionship as I spend hours a day no-contact as well as this affects my schoolwork. I have deeply considered going to the hospital on multiple occasions because I am tired of the feeling once I commit to B/P.

I do think I need to address this behavior with my partner but wanted to get supports situated before I do so. WHere do I start? Is getting medicinal support possible if I wanted to? I deal with an insatiable appetite. For context, I am on a school campus so their psychiatric / RD services are very limiting / non-existant. What do I do?

Might get down voted for this post but honestly I just need to vent.

So for context - I've been anorexic for my years now and am serverly underweight.

My body is pretty well broken and stuffed. I break my bones all the time, am always bruised and sore, can barely walk, can not run or lift anything that is heavy and struggle with simple daily tasks things like opening a can - just literally all the simple things are a mission, I barely sleep and am always exhausted, my skin is dry and my hair is just so super thin it's ridiculous. You know the rest - there's so many other things that have destroyed my body, these are just some.

I'm just over it. My body is clearly failing but it just won't give out. I've wrecked my marriage, my 14 year old now stays with her Nana almost 24/7 because I can barely look after myself and I have seizures and sadly my daughter has seen these which scares the shit out of her and that's completely fair enough.

Anyway the vent part, Anorexia Nervosa... They say it's the #1 most deadly mental health disorder but if that's the case, why the fuck am I still here and alive after doing/dealing with this for years? Why do people live so long in general? How can people survive over 10 years even though they are absolutely screwed..

Like I'm not going to purposely commit suicide, I don't think I have that in me. But I just want to be out of this miserable life I live. I feel at this point I have nothing to live for and I've lost all of my independence, I can't drive anymore, had to leave my job like I can't physically work anymore etc I have to rely on other people for help now like just take me out already AN my life is literally pointless I have no purpose anymore

Edit: Just for reference I have reached out for help many times, offered to go inpatient, counciling etc and I have been turned down every time. So I have tried and really don't need that kind of advice. We have a shit medical system here in NZ 🇳🇿 I tried and it failed me. Like I said life is pointless..

TW: Eating disorders, childhood experiences, disordered eating

I’ve had an eating disorder since I was 13, so I’ve lived with it for more than half my life. Something I’ve been struggling with lately is the fear that I’m subconsciously passing it on to my daughter, and I honestly don’t know what to do.

My own childhood definitely influenced my relationship with food and my body. My mom was very critical of herself, was constantly dieting, and even suggested Weight Watchers to me when I was around 10 years old. I also grew up in a very traditional household where we were expected to clean our plates or we couldn’t go to bed. Looking back, I think these experiences contributed to my relationship with food, which eventually developed into binge eating and bulimia.

Now that I have a daughter of my own, I’m incredibly conscious of not repeating those patterns.

I try very hard not to speak negatively about my body or criticize my appearance in front of her. I’m careful about the language I use, too. For example, if we’re talking about makeup, I’ll say it’s something you can use to look fancy rather than something you need to look beautiful. I want her to grow up knowing that her worth has absolutely nothing to do with how she looks.

I also want to mention that I am in treatment for my eating disorder and have been for over a year now. I’m actively working on my recovery and trying to understand and unlearn a lot of the things I grew up with. I take this seriously, which is part of why this worries me so much. Even though I’m getting help and doing the work, I still worry about the things my daughter might be picking up on without me realizing it.

I know that even when we’re careful about what we say, children can notice our behaviours, our emotions, and our relationship with food. I worry that she might be subconsciously picking up on my eating disorder, even though I try so hard to shield her from it.

I feel guilty thinking that something I’ve struggled with for so much of my life could affect her, especially because I know firsthand how painful it can be.

I want so badly to break this cycle. I don’t want her to grow up with the same thoughts and struggles that I’ve had. At the same time, I know I can’t completely hide every struggle from her, and I’m trying to figure out what a healthy approach to parenting looks like when you’re dealing with an eating disorder yourself.

For parents who have struggled with eating disorders, how have you navigated raising children? Have you worried about passing your relationship with food and your body image on to them? What have you done to help your children develop a healthy relationship with food and themselves, even while you’re still working through your own struggles?

I’d especially love to hear from people who grew up with a parent who had an eating disorder, or whose parents struggled with dieting and body image. What do you wish your parents had done differently? What helped you?

I’m not looking for judgment. I’m genuinely trying to learn how to do better for my daughter, and I could really use some advice from people who understand.

Im writing this pretty casually but recently ive had my one year bulimia anniversary and its a pretty depressing thing to celebrate to be honest lmao

I went to school again after being online schooled for 3 years due to past bullying depression and school phobia , and for once in my life im not totally unhappy , i made friend i want to advance in my life im doing things i like and i can't believe im saying this but im actually excited from time to time to go to school bcs ik i will talk with my friend , but bulimia is holding me down , ive seeked professionnal help but the only thing they've made me realise is that mental health professionnal made me feel worse than better , even with school i b/p 2/3time a day , its eating me alive , my body sickens me (i neither lose or gain weight) and i genuinly have NO solution to recover , i want to see beauty in eating a meal again , i want the patience to cook veggies and meat again i want to have time for myself without the thought of b/p eating me alive , and the worst (or the best) is i don't vomit i regurgitate so its genuinly a painless operation making it even harder to stop , i feel like im addicted and i want to stop but i have no way to , its such an annoying pest that wont go away , i can't even draw anymore bcs it took the places of my hobbies

this is both funny and absolutely miserable at the same time. it's late at night and I'd just binged like mad on stuff that wasnt just filling but also totally nauseating (think grease, chocolate, bla bla bla), and was reaching the end of the binge and getting ready to purge it back up .... until the fire alarm went off. the fire alarm where i live (shared student housing) is weird and sometimes only goes off for like 2 seconds before turning off, but it stayed on this time and i had to stand outside with like, 30+ other people in torrential rain with the most insane nausea ive ever had. You know when you've just binged and you already have the gag reflex triggering because it knows whats coming next, i was fighting for my damn life standing in the freezing cold not to vomit up an insane amount of food next to these totally normal people 😭 and the worst part is we were standing outside for so long, i couldnt even properly purge the food when i got back LMFAOOO (it hurt like hell i dont recommend purging anyway but especially not after that long)

i guess it's a blessing in disguise but to me that's just a total night ruiner because now i'm feeling so full with no way to fix it . Anyways hope you enjoyed my kinda funny story and have a better night/day than me cuz i feel like shiiiit

I haven’t bp in 10+ years. Tonight, I am struggling.

Tell me how much sushi (cucumber roll) would hurt to purge?
I feel like it would HURT

i have been b/p less and less recently (yay!!!) however yesterday, i relapsed. it was so weird because i honestly didn’t really want to, but i was telling myself “we have pumpkin pie and ice cream and leftovers and etc etc etc etc, you’ll probably want to binge in a few days, just do it now” and i did it. it’s so weird to me bc i genuinely didn’t really want to. i just told myself id need to do it to prevent it later

O céu é que mesmo após comer insanas quantidade de comidas e ficar super estufado, após sair do banheiro sai até mais leve e "magro" do que antes. O inferno é que aproximadamente 10-20 minutos dentro desse banheiro são completamente horrendos, eu me sinto horrível fazendo isso, me sinto um lixo, além de tem que forçar muito pra sair, a garganta arde sem contar a sujeira e o cheiro horroroso que fica, esse tempo é o inferno pra mim e infelizmente não consigo superar, é mais forte do que eu.

I have been bulimic from the ages of 11 to 17 then I stopped after I started drinking heavily as that became my new vice. At 20 I stopped drinking and from 20 to 26 fell back into my ed.

At the end of September I noticed my gums were receding and pain was developing in my teeth which absolutely terrified me.

On October 1st I made a vow to myself to do whatever it takes to break the addiction and recover. Though, it has only been 2 weeks since then, I have learned alot. I did have 2 setbacks but would like to share my process to those who may need it.

The first 4 days were absolute hell. I wanted to consume everything in my fridge, cabinets, pantry. I downloaded and deleted doordash multiple times. Had aniexty attacks. Cried. My mood was kind of cranky. I had issues sleeping. I hated it.

But I learned you need to sit with those feelings. You need to face them and work with your brain to fight against them.

My body knew it wasn't hungry, but my brain seen the bp as a stress relief. It needed that release because that is who I trained my brain over the years to handle stress and emotions.

I ate very little those days (a sandwich, handful of grapes, ramen) in an attempt not to bp and knew I had to avoid sugar as that was a huge trigger for me.

But I wasn't bloating anymore. I didn't feel so stiff in my stomach and that disgust that lingers from bp.

And then I felt true hunger that I haven't felt in so long. My stomach was growling, I genuinely needed food for my body and not for the voices in my head.

But as I ate a real full meal, my mind went through the trenches to try and get me to fall back and by the 8th day, I did bp and the disgust I felt was absolutely terrible. I hated myself so much for falling back after doing good for so long.

Then the process repeated of fighting the voices in my head and try to develop a healthy relationship with my body, mind and food. On the 11th day, I fell back again.

Now today, on 10/15, I have not bp'd in 3 days and can say after those 2 setbacks, which I do not shame myself for as it is apart of recovery, I know how to handle things a bit better.

It feels like my body and mind are learning from eachother and the honest truth is you need to keep yourself busy and distracted as much as you need to learn to sit with those voices in your head and overcome them.

Yes, distractions are good and do help, but if you do not know how to face yourself head on, you won't know what it takes for you to recover, (in my experience atleast)

Thank you for reading, I tried to word this correctly as this process is still hard for me to type out emotionally wise.

I wish you all well🫶🏻

I keep doing it and telling myself this is gonna be the last one, that tomorrow I will start fresh. But I wake up and again. It's a nightmare, It's been years. Please help. How to really stop it?

ive been bulimic for over a year now and after a few months into it i did try getting help and told my family about it and got a therapist n shit but it was weird i never sctually had the therapist i only went twice to meet two diff ones and then i just never attended the next sessions but Then my family kinda just forgot about it and stopped asking and i just kept doing it but for the past months now its been getting worse I do it everyday Multiple times every single thing i eat and Why did i literally forget that i should be trying to recover like why does it feel like a regular thing to me now but also i just feel like i could never recover because I Hate food being in my stomach or being bloated but i binge so much but in my head its like Its fine because i know its gonna be out But Fuck help a girl out pls😢 I actually have to try and stop doing this I cant keep living like this its exhausting and draining and doing hella damage to my body Along with other addictions

what im asking is just for advice to recover or tips to get rid of the urges to purge or take laxatives

I’m so freaking happy and motivated right now I can’t believe I’ve come this far after being stuck for months on end and it’s honestly been pretty easy since I’ve been eating balanced and nutritious meals, I don’t even feel like snacking much!! This week was especially amazing because I bought so many comfortable clothes that I can actually tolerate and it was all 60% off!!! Not to mention I finally got ADHD medication today and I think I feel better, I’m calm but happy at the same time and I feel so locked in 😮‍💨👌

It's weird because I am not a religious person but I have this fear of God punishing me because all this food wasting when million of people die of hunger. I am a horrible person. How do you deal with this?

after tomorrow when i eat with my mom (Which will be an omad day) I will likely not eat for 2-3 more days. just posting a random though :/

how many days would i need to be clean from b/p so that the swelling under my jaw can disappear if i've been b/p multiple times everyday for 5-6 months