I have had multiple family members now ask me if they would like for them to take my 7 week old newborn, so that my husband and I can go out on a date. I don’t get it. My son is a literal newborn. Why would anybody think my priority is going on a date, when what we both want and need is sleep. I also don’t think a mother wants to be leaving her newborn to go out and about. If somebody wants to offer to come watch the baby while I sleep, then that would be great. But I’m not understanding why anybody thinks I need to leave him with them to go on a date. Maybe if he was older this would make more sense.

My daughter is 15 months old. The week she was born, my husband and I bought a construction business bc he was having a mid-life crisis and I wanted to support his dreams. Before this, he worked remotely as did/do I. Day 4 of my daughter being alive, my husband is suddenly gone for 16 hours a day. So let’s add to this:

I’m a CMO at a tech company and I didn’t leave my job to go work at the construction company and as I told my husband during the course trying to purchase it, that I didn’t want to be involved as I had no intention of leaving my career. But here we are.

I also 100% manage and operate our AirBnB and handle all of our family finances, decisions, shopping, etc. Additionally, we have 2 dogs to take care of that he’s no longer home to help with. By default, since I work remotely, I got “stuck” with it all.

So right now, my life looks like this
3:30am - wake up and work out
5:30am - husband leaves for work and I kick off my CMO job
In between conference calls in the morning, I work on our business.
12:00pm - Switch over to helping my husband with the business. I am HR, IT, marketing, sales, bookkeeper, customer comms, and recruitment.
5:00pm - Spend time with my kiddo before she goes to bed. Cook dinner, have fun, walk the dogs, read her books, bedtime
7:40pm- open laptop back up until I pass out with my computer glued to my face.

3 days a week now, I’m also driving up to our construction office which is an hour way in traffic to help manage our team.

I can’t leave my CMO role as it’s the only salary and insurance we have right now and it’s keeping that part of life together.

This construction business has ruined our marriage. We fight every day and I’m so resentful and I don’t know what to do. Additionally, I get told that I’m not being “nice” by my husband yet I don’t understand that bc I’m literally dying over here to help him, safe this business which I 70% funded with my assets and not his, so we don’t lose our house and savings, while I ask him to kindly pick up paper towels for the 7th time this week. Guess what? No paper towels.

Yesterday after a 16 hour day - my daughter woke up at 2am, so I was up from then onward, I came home, made fresh tacos, cleaned up everything, vacuumed, did the dishes, bought the paper towels, etc, I just thought to myself - how did I get here? In no way did I ask or want to become a housewife. And a business owner. And an executive. And cleaning up his laundry off the floor while he lets our daughter dig in the dirt right after I mop the floor. How am I supposed to be nice when you don’t make my life easy? I keep busy so my depression doesn’t seep in too much, but I’m caught tearing up while making tacos and I don’t get a single ounce of “nice” back.

Im burnt out. I’m so burnt out, I’m ashes and I just absolutely hate where I am in life right now. Stuck between a rock and a hard place with no breathing room for a mistake and more responsibilities than I can handle.

My son was born 5 months ago. First ever pregnancy. I spent my entire pregnancy (35 weeks due to preeclampsia with severe features resulting in c-section) incredibly anxious. The first 20 weeks, I worried of miscarriage, which I have a LONG family history of. I spent the last 15 weeks worrying about my baby due to high blood pressure, then preE.

I kept having cramps. From the second my son was born until as I type this. I talked with my OB about it, so she ordered an ultrasound. My uterus is riddled with scar tissue due to the c-section. My OB said I'm extremely unlikely to get pregnant again.

I wish I would've enjoyed my pregnancy while it lasted instead of worrying the whole time.

I can't express how heartbroken I am.

I'm a first-time mom. We just had our nine month appointment for our daughter and I am feeling absolutely gutted. She used to say "ba ba ba" a few months ago but then stopped making sounds much at all. She'll giggle, she'll shriek, she'll occasionally blow raspberries. But no babbling, no repeated sounds, no consonants. Her pediatrician said she had concerns about her development and that's she's not scoring where she should be, especially in speech. She referred us to speech therapy, physical therapy, and audiology for a hearing test.

She's physically doing okay. She army crawls, sits independently, pulls to stand. She likes peekaboo and will cover and uncover her own face with a blanket. She's very happy and smiles at everyone, loves to be around people. Makes good eye contact. But she doesn't consistently respond to her name. She doesn't understand any words, like "no" or "bottle" or "ball." Doesn't have any concept that I'm "mama" or my husband is "dada."

My husband and I are both smart and well-adjusted but we're both likely neurodivergent, though not diagnosed. My husband suspects he's on the autism spectrum and I'm just learning at age 32 through talk therapy that I likely have ADHD and possible OCD. I guess I thought my neurotic behaviors were normal and I'm just learning that they aren't. I don't know. I feel like I set my daughter up for a more difficult life than she deserves and she's inherited these issues from me and her dad.

We also really struggled with weight gain for the first six months until I switched from nursing to formula. She never nursed well, my supply was sometimes shy of just enough, we supplemented at times. Her pediatrician said it's possible my milk was not calorically dense. I worry all the time that this set her up for developmental issues.

I keep worrying that she'll be nonverbal, that she won't have an easy life, that she'll struggle socially or cognitively. I know the best thing you can do is intervene early, so the referrals are all I could have hoped for. But I can't help but feel like I failed her.

We just left the appointment so it's still fresh. I don't even know what I'm looking for here. Shared experience, maybe.

My husband and I haven’t had sex since I was about 10 weeks pregnant last year. I just wasn’t feeling it at all through out pregnancy and especially postpartum.

Since getting my period back at 8 months, those feelings have started coming up again, but I’m still breastfeeding,
so they are still dampened. I want to prioritize our relationship and feel close again, but I’m not sure where to start. I dont feel good in my body, I haven’t shaved down there in ages, I’ve never liked kissing. I’m not sure I’m ready to go all the way yet.

How did you work your way up to sex if it had been a long time postpartum? Did you start with just more general physical affection or just go for it? I don’t know where to start.

Is anyone else having to deal with repeated glances/looks at their new postpartum body? I walk past a neighbour of mine most days when I go for a walk and we exchange hellos. I'm 5 weeks postpartum. Literally every time I have seen him, he asks about baby and kinda looks me up and down and particularly looks at my stomach. It's not subtle or quick, he does it multiple times and it's every time I see him. It's making me so so angry. He's not the only one to have done it to me but as he's a man, it makes me particularly uncomfortable. I remember he used to do the same when I was pregnant but hadn't announced yet. I hate it so much but I'm not really sure how to deal with it. Anyone else in the same boat? Given my longstanding body image issues, I'm surprisingly not doing so badly on that front (so far). Not that it matters, but I'm looking more like my old self than I expected and haven't felt as self conscious as I thought I would. I've been giving myself grace at this very early stage. But this man always makes me feel so uncomfortable and self conscious every time I see him. What's wrong with people??

Disclaimer: this is not humble brag. I actually think my ego as a mother is bruised.

So my baby is 7 months and all I read about 7 months is that they are velcro babies, they cry if they are hold by someone else, they need to cosleep etc

But my baby is not a velcro baby, and never has been. He's OK being passed among friends and family. I needed to travel 2 days for job, and I honestly think he has not even noticed (that bruised my ego)... He was totally OK with my husband like nothing changed. He sleeps fine on his crib and has done that since he's 2 months. He never took the breast so I had to exclusively pump (😫), and I'm weaning now...

I'm not concerned about autistic traits, the truth is he loves people, smiles to them, babbles, interacts and actually, ignores me because other people are more interesting (ouch!).

When I read about other babies that are clingy towards their mothers I feel jealous. I wish my baby needed me a bit more. I blame not managing to breastfeed. He's happy and content, has been a very chill happy baby from the beginning. I just kind of miss feeling a bit needed I guess. Now I feel awful for admitting this.

Are there others out there with non-velcro babies?

Did your non-velcro baby eventually became more "cuddly " towards you?

Did your non-velcro baby evolve fine?

Please be kind, sorry in advance if someone finds my post annoying.

My son is 4 and a half months and he was born with a head full of black hair, his hair is shedding quite a bit and is patchy, it seems like it might be a tiny bit lighter.

My daughter was born almost bald and her hair grew in very light brown almost reddish but never changed colors. They are both half Asian and half white.

How did your kid’s hair change?

Trying to figure out if I’m overreacting here/how much I should care about this. One of our close friends and only friends in the area where we live keeps calling my daughter the wrong name. My daughter‘s name is pretty unique and meaningful in my and my husband’s culture.

My friend keeps calling my daughter the name of one of her friends’ baby. I don’t know this friend of hers and while I guess the names have a similar cadence/sound, they are very different.

I’m PMSing so not sure if I’m just extra sensitive or if this is legit a reason to be annoyed!

I am one month postpartum and everything is going good. After we had our son and got home he took nights for about a week. It was great, he took nights and I did mornings until he got up and we both did it together. But now a month later and I’m doing nights every night and barely getting sleep. I try to wake him up to help with diaper changes and feedings. Our son refuses to burp sometimes and he is really good at getting him to burp. I try waking him up and he rolls back over and goes back to sleep or pops off with an attitude with me. I have been struggling with my postpartum depression and anxiety. I have vocalized that to him, I’ve tried countless times to talk to him and he says he understands and is sorry but it really doesn’t seem like it to me. I’ve told him many times that it makes my depression worse because I feel like I’m getting no help or support. I have built up a lot of resentment towards him, Listening to him snore and watching him sleep peacefully genuinely pisses me off and makes me feel so alone. Our son constantly spits his binky out or it falls out, he’ll grunt and get mad if it’s not in his mouth. So we have to constantly put it back in. He doesn’t want to constantly put it back in and seems like he gets annoyed by it bc he isn’t getting sleep. I just I don’t understand and don’t know what to do. Why did everything change after a month PP

EDIT: I want to add that he works weekends only so he’s able to help M-T. He’s able to take over a few nights so I can get some decent sleep…

TW: difficult birth

So I had a really rough birth. Like over a full day in labor and then I had to get a C-section and then I almost bled out on the table rough. And then I had tearing internally from how long I was in labor and so I was in the hospital for almost my daughter's entire first week alive.

And she has been so worth it, and my husband has been so wonderful, and I feel so blessed. I try not to complain about the actual birth because honestly I feel better when I'm just focusing on enjoying my perfect little baby.

So that doesn't feel like it's the problem. And the sleepless nights aren't the problem.

The problem is EVERYONE ELSE. (Or at least it feels that way)

It's been like a complete 180 from my pregnancy when everyone was like "just trust your gut! It's gonna be okay!"

Like I've had people try to tell me I'm not doing enough to recover and that I'm doing too much in the same breath, I've had so many comments about how well I bounced back (which like... should feel good but it doesn't), I've been told I never let my husband sleep when we both get several hours of sleep a night bc we do shifts, I've been told that I'm being selfish for making my recovery about me because other people have to watch me recover and that's just as hard, I've been told I'm hogging my baby, I've been asked about when I'm having another even while I was still in the hospital (and tbh by some people while I was still pregnant). People come over to sleep at my house and then decide what I will eat and when. And when I try to set boundaries it is taken as an attack on their relationships to me and my family or is brushed off as "Oh you'll appreciate this later".

Which... I do appreciate the help! All of these people are also helping with things and it genuinely does make my life easier, but the comments are so exhausting and they feel like they come from all directions. Like on the days when I have no help I'm definitely busier but I feel more relaxed because at least I don't have to be on presentation mode. My husband keeps offering to call people out but I ask him not to because I tried that already with a few people and it was just even more tiring than ignoring it.

And she's still not even two weeks old y'all.

Am I insane? Is this normal?

Struggling to make a decision and come to an agreement with DH over the purchase of a new car.

We have 2 boys (3&1) and another on the way. Currently have a Ford Explorer (with captains chairs and it’s very difficult for me to get in the 3rd row to get my oldest buckled/unbuckled) and a truck (husbands) that is on it’s way to the grave. I say that because we’re eventually going to need to get another truck for my husband. But our priority right now is getting a family car that we can have all of our kids in comfortably.

I really think a minivan is the way to go. It would be SO easy and functional right now! And it would make me feel safer when taking all 3 kids out to run errands.

My husband thinks a full sized SUV (expedition) is what we need to get because it will last us longer. I can see his point because we are going to have some very big boys once they start getting older. Our 3yo is already size 5/xs in kids clothing - not toddlers - and our 1 yo is following the same path.

We can both see the pros/cons of each vehicle type.
But we’re also factoring in the financial aspect as well - if I get a MV, we can probably get him a new truck sooner because we’ll pay the MV off faster.. etc. I also want to point out that if we get a MV though, we might end up having to get a full sized SUV a little later anyways. And with the purchase of another truck, that would be 4 new cars in the span of around 10 years, which I think is crazy if you’re not leasing.

But based off of your experience with functionality of 3 kids under 4, let’s say under 5 even.. including a newborn, what kind of vehicle would you say is the best way to go?
Also, if you have any car recommendations, let me know! There’s too many options and I’m overwhelmed 🤦‍♀️

I was going to add a photo but am not allowed to add attachments. Has anyone noticed that day vs night diapers by millie moon are the exact same? Neither feels thicker or thinner than the other. The designs are the exact same. Size and function are the exact same. Yet, night diapers are more expensive for less diapers in the box because they're "specialty"

Is this just me??

Just curious how long the process went for your baby and how did you do it. Only bottles before sleep? Only bottles before bed? How did you wean them off and what age were they when they were officially done?

Edit: my baby at almost a year old still only has two bottle teeth and that’s it so I think I’m just nervous about him being on solids only

How are all of you coping. It’s like sometimes I look at her and just cry bc I am so happy and I cant believe we made her and then other times I’m crying bc who I was before is gone and like how am I gonna keep her alive until I die and now I know time is just gonna fly by. Like I want my mom all the time while Im trying to figure out how to be her mom. Idk it’s really rough rn on that front, how is everyone coping.

My mom and I are very close and Im almost mourning that relationship because all my time is focused on my baby which it should be, I would die for her. I don’t know how to explain what’s going on with me. I’m happy and depressed at the same time. She’s literally only 5 days old.

TLDR:

Wondering how much of a chance I have of going into spontaneous labor before 39w4ish so I don’t need another induction.

Full context:

I had to be induced by 39w with my first (girl) for concern of IUGR. Had a good experience but now pregnant with number 2 (boy) and hoping to experience spontaneous labor this time around assuming I’m cleared to.

However, we have no family in the area so we are really hoping to deliver while my sister is visiting as my 18mo loves and feels very comfortable with her. My due date is January 19th and she’s able to be here from the 8th- the 21st.

My current plan is to schedule an induction when I’m like 39w4/5 so my sister can be here the whole time (assuming baby doesn’t surprise us and come before she gets here).

I know every person and pregnancy is different and there’s really no way to know when baby may be ready to come. I guess I’m just wanting to hear others‘ experiences and decide if I should just mentally prepare to need another induction.

I am 3 weeks postpartum as of today, i have been feeling "off" for the past week and just not like myself. I love my baby more then anything but also have moments where i feel like i made a mistake. Anyone else felt like this?

My 16m old daughter is the talker, not the walker, as they say.
She cruises furniture like a speed demon, pulls up on things fine, climbs EVERYTHING she can to the point where my heart stops several times a day. She crawls and moves so quickly.
She will walk barely holding onto one of our fingers, but she refuses to go from sitting to standing independently or walking independently.
We do so many different exercises (putting her between two chairs and slowly moving them apart - she just sits and pulls up on the other chair. Putting a toy in each hand, she just goes to her knees or stands there and doesn’t take steps, etc).

I’m looking for some reassurance that this is “normal.” For those who had late walkers, how old were they? How did it finally happen?

As the title states, my 5.5 month old is filled with rage by basically any toy he can hold in his hands. He does ok with the hanging Fischer Price piano mat toys (the panda is his favorite), but any other toy, stuffy or teether, regardless of how unstimulating it is, sends him into an absolute rage. I don’t remember this being an issue with my daughter. Anyone else have experience with this, and did it get better?

I just wanted to post a hopeful message on here for any mom who needs it, because after my third degree tear and the immediate misery in the postpartum period I was frantically and repeatedly reading the same posts on here about people’s recovery and advice, etc!

I had a traumatic birth with a lot of second degree tears and a third degree tear. Like it took hours for them to suture me. I lost a bunch of blood from it.

The recovery pain was nothing I’ve ever felt before and the mental anguish was so severe!! I was mentally destroyed, blaming myself for the tearing, in constant discomfort, could barely stand to touch myself down there to shower or use the bathroom. Could not hardly stand or walk for weeks. Couldn’t sit for weeks either. It was so brutal. When the pain dissipated, the itching from the sutures was sooo distressing hahaha. Felt like my organs were all going to fall out of me when I stood up for weeks. Made breastfeeding and sitting to feed completely intolerable, I did side lying breastfeeding only for the longest time.

I’m seven weeks PP now and I can’t believe how much better I feel. I started pelvic floor PT last week. I don’t have any symptoms now except maybe some heavy pelvic feelings when I walk a long time, but even that’s improved over the past week, and my sutures have healed just fine. There is some scar tissue that my PT said she will work on, and I got prescribed vaginal estrogen to help continue with healing down there.

I wanted to contribute a hopeful post because the posts about this topic on this subreddit were the only things that really gave me comfort in the healing process and I hope I can contribute to someone else’s healing journey too!!! If you’re dealing with this you WILL heal and things WILL get better every day!!

I've been struggling with the idea of going back to work (I have a history of depression and anxiety). I'm supposed to go back in January, but I'd like more time off, and I don't know how to approach it with my psychiatrist. My gyno wrote me out for an additional month of leave, but said I'd need to see a psychiatrist for anything beyond that. I've been seeing my psychiatrist for a long time, but I'm wondering what's a realistic expectation of her writing me out. What has been your experience? What's the longest you've been written out for, and what was the reason?

We hope to fly with our baby to finally meet her toddler cousins when she is 13month old and my controlling mom (who visited a week postpartum with a cold and had her visibly sick friend meet me when I was pregnant resulting in covid so it’s not like she is cautious herself) doesnt like that for some reason. She lectured me for 20min about how the baby is bound to get sick from her cousins and how I should stay home alone and send my partner on his own to be a godparent :( I struggle with health related anxieties already and it really sucks. And I only told her because the destination is not far from where she lived and I hoped she wants to meet us there…

I’m at my wits end. I have always been a good sleeper. I’ve had to call into work multiple times because I’ve gotten maybe three hours and I can’t keep missing work (healthcare, night shift).

I have my kids from 7a-4p then I work from 5-midnight, so I have a six hour block to sleep at night. I do magnesium and a hot shower but some nights can absolutely not fall asleep. I get almost there and my brain jolts me awake. On the weekends I take Unisom and try to get 8 hours. I can’t do that during the week because I don’t have time for a full nights sleep.

What do I do?

Edit; this has been the worst night yet. I’ve been up now almost 24 hours and CANNOT fall asleep. I hate this.

I’m so sorry if this is not the right sub for this! Please delete if not allowed.

We wanted to have babies somewhat close in age… my first was two when we started trying. After getting pregnant so quickly with my first baby, I thought it would be the same the second time around.. oh boy was I wrong..

Been TTC for a year and 3 months now, took Letrozole and got pregnant! At 7 weeks I went for an US and turns out the baby isn’t developing so now I’m waiting for a follow up then to talk to my OB about next steps.

It’s make me sad because at this rate they will be more than 4 years apart, I regret not trying sooner, but honestly before he turned 2 I just wasn’t in the headspace to try. Now having to wait for my probable miscarriage, and waiting even more time is making me so sad and anxious.

Is 4-5 years such a huge age gap?? It feels like it for me, plus my husband is an older dad so having one sooner than later was our plan.
I just can’t get over this feeling of them being so far apart now. 3 years seemed like a good gap, now 4+ years is feeling soooo far apart. :(

Anyone loving their bigger age gap for their kids?? Feeling sad for many reasons right now, so maybe I’m just extra sensitive, but having to try again after this and knowing it’s pushing them even further apart in age is just another thing on top of losing this baby.

My LO is 5 weeks old. She has been having troubles eating and we have been in contact with her pediatrician and actually went to hospital for this issue as well. Her dr switched her from regular enfamil to nutramigen on Friday. This was due to issues with crying during feedings, increased spit up, irritable laying flat, a lot of fussiness. I do think her issues have been worse over the weekend. More spit up, more crying while eating. She acts eats every 2 hr and acts starving but a few drinks into the bottle, she is crying and arching her back and pulling away. She will then settle and want it again. This is on repeat until eventually she gives up. She only ends up taking about half of what she normally takes. I’m being told to give the formula time but what am I supposed to do in the mean time? It breaks my heart and makes every day so hard. I’m so scared she’s going to start losing weight and she’s already small. We currently use lansioh bottles and have tried Philips scent and dr browns as well. Is there a certain bottle for this? Any tips? We have been using the gas drops but she hasn’t been finishing her bottles so I guess we’re going to have to try to put it in her mouth instead. I feel helpless.