Unless you've had that coach who makes an impact on your life further than X's and O's, or been given that ultimate compliment from a former player that you made an impact on their life, it can be hard to see the impact you make on kid no matter what skill level the league is. I am lucky enough to have been given both in my life.
This post is a thank you to that coach and how he shaped the way I coach teams. I had no idea at the time the impact this man in his early 30s would make on me when I accepted an invite to play on his 12U AAU travel team.
A flood of memories came back to me (35M) tonight of my travel ball days. Some of my favorite memories from my childhood came from playing on that team. It wasn't because we were a lucky group of kids who had automatic friendship chemistry. While we all did get along as well as most young people with similar interests do, I truly believe how he coached and treated us built the team to feel more like a brotherhood through those years. He might not have been the best X's and O's guy, but he treated us as equals.
He would listen to us if we had an opinion on a play in practice, or how to attack a player if we noticed a tendency in a game. Outside of practice and games, he'd have regular conversations with us as if we were his buddies, even cracking jokes with us or about us during practice. Some of the favorite practices I ever had were the ones that turned into two hours of roasting each other. While it sounds like he might not have been pushing us, that's not true at all. Those practices were earned and were not happening if we weren't giving it our all or if we became a distraction. Hard work was rewarded, and we understood that.
He held himself accountable. During scrimmages, if we were a player short, he'd fill in, and if he was on the losing end, he'd run suicides with us. If he felt like he made coaching mistakes that cost us a game, he'd run suicides. It made him feel like even more of a part of the team and one of us.
He was there for you if you needed him. While I was more fortunate with the family I was given, others were not. If someone needed a ride, all you had to do was say so and he'd be there. I know he did a lot more than that for a few kids on the team who needed an extra role model in their lives.
It took me some years to realize my coaching style emulated his. I started coaching my little brother's 8U YMCA basketball team at 14 after my last travel ball season. I kept doing it because it was fun for me, and I truly enjoyed getting to know, hang out with, and coach these kids in the same ways that coach once did for me. Coaching my little brother from 8U to 18U YMCA leagues and being an assistant coach on his travel teams throughout middle school was a major bonus. He would even eventually assistant coach with me on the younger YMCA team I coached each season once he turned 14, too. I loved seeing him get the same joy out of it as I was.
The first time I realized I was doing this for more reasons than myself was when I had parents requesting to have their kid on my team because not only did their children enjoy themselves, but they liked how I treated their children and trusted me with them. But the ultimate compliment comes years down the line when a player you haven't seen since they were 12, 14, or 15 runs into you as a young adult and tells you how much they appreciated and enjoyed their time with you.
If you've been told this before, you know just how deep this hits. Or if you haven't been told yet, don't worry; you're doing it right, and your impact is bigger than it feels. Sadly, a lot of people won't get a chance to hear this, so just appreciate it in the moment. It won't only be the players who look fondly back on these memories when you make yourself one of their teammates as well as their coach.
I don't believe any of that would have been possible for me without that coach. I'm writing him a personal message to say a lot of these things because I believe people in your life who made an impact on you deserve to know that.
If this sparks something in you and you had that coach, write to that special person who inspired you and let them know. You have no idea how much it will mean to them.
Thank you, Coach Davis, for being that coach for me.