My results aren’t out yet, and honestly, I don’t know if I’m going to pass either. But I wanted to write this for anyone who might need to hear it.
I know how much this exam means to so many of us. For some, it’s about keeping a job. For others, it’s about starting a career, supporting their families, fulfilling a promise, or finally achieving something they’ve worked toward for years.
And life doesn’t just stop because we’re preparing for the bar. Some of us have gone through job changes, financial difficulties, family responsibilities, relocations, or unexpected life circumstances. We all walk into that exam room carrying things that nobody else can see.
I’m a foreign-trained candidate, and I’ve been self-studying because I simply can’t afford a commercial bar prep course. I’ve done what I could with the resources I had. Was it enough? I honestly don’t know. I want to be able to look back someday and feel proud of myself for having the courage to keep trying, even when the odds weren’t necessarily in my favor.
If I fail, I’ll be disappointed. I’ll probably cry. I’ll question everything I’ve done. But I don’t think I’m ready to give up on this dream just yet.
Something I’ve noticed from conversations with other candidates at my test venue is that we don’t always talk about how well we performed or whether we think we’ll pass. Sometimes, we just talk about the future. What comes next? Where do we go from here? What opportunities are still out there?
And I think that’s important.
Please don’t let this disappointment become a burden you carry into every opportunity that comes your way.
If you have a job interview, go to it. If there’s an opportunity worth pursuing, pursue it. If you need to change jobs, change direction, or take some time to figure things out, that’s okay too.
You still have knowledge, skills, experiences, and qualities that no exam result can take away from you. One disappointing result doesn’t erase everything you’ve accomplished to get here.
And if you didn’t pass, I hope you know that your effort wasn’t meaningless. You are not less intelligent, less capable, or less deserving of becoming an attorney because of one exam result.
Take your time. Cry if you need to. Take a break. Figure out what works for you financially, mentally, and professionally. There’s no shame in needing more time, and there’s no shame in choosing a different path either.
But if this is still something you want, please stick around. You’ve already made it this far.
I don’t know whether I’ll be celebrating or grieving when my results come out. Maybe I’ll be right there with some of you, figuring out how to start all over again.
Whatever happens, I hope we can all be a little kinder to ourselves.
And I’m not giving up on myself either.
Sending love to everyone waiting, celebrating, grieving, or trying to figure out what comes next.
