My parents were definitely not emotionally mature or intelligent. There were plenty of instances of abuse but nothing out of the ordinary for an African household.

However, I don’t know if I can forgive them. Even if I wanted to, it’s like my inner child will not allow it. For months I’ve been agonising about whether to go no contact which would be really hard due to being African and having a large extended family.

I just realised that instead of making my own life hard to try and fix what I didn’t break, I can just leave the family house. I’ve been wanting to for ages and did at one point. But I started a new job in an expensive city and couldn’t afford it. But now I’m in a better place financially and even though it might be hard for a while till I get another promotion at work, I genuinely can’t put a price on my mental health.

When I move out, it’ll be easy to pretend I don’t have childhood trauma and also I will probably be able to regulate my emotions better. This realisation made me so happy!

I know this probably sounds ungrateful, but lately I've been struggling with feeling like my 20s are passing me by.
I'm 22F, work, and recently started school again. I'm working toward a career that I'm genuinely excited about, so I know I'm doing something productive with my life. The problem is that I still live with my dad, and I feel like I'll never be able to truly live the life I want while I'm here.
A while back I got caught with some substances in my room. It was a stupid mistake and I take responsibility for it. Since then, I feel like things have changed. I haven't really gone out much since April. I haven't hung out with friends in months 6 months to be exact . Between work and school, I'm busy all the time anyway and my off days I want to sleep. I don’t even really have friends out here in this new state but it still feels like nobody really cares that my social life has basically disappeared.
My dad says he wants me to focus on school and my career, and I know a big part of his intentions come from wanting me to be successful. He talks about how things will be different once I have my career, but at the same time I feel like I'm constantly waiting to start my life.
The frustrating part is that moving out doesn't feel realistic right now because all my money is going toward school. My dad also keeps encouraging me to skip renting and buy a house instead, but I honestly don't want to wait that long before experiencing some independence.
Growing up, I always had this image that my 20s would be some amazing time where I'd make memories, travel, go out with friends, discover who I am, and just enjoy being young. I even bought a scrapbook for my 20s. Now I'm sitting here feeling like by the time I finish school in a couple years, half my 20s will be gone and I'll have nothing interesting to put in it.
I know comparison isn't healthy, but it's hard watching other people my age go out, travel, date, and live their lives while I feel stuck in the same place.
Did anyone else feel this way in their early 20s? Did it get better once you finished school and became financially independent, or am I looking at this the wrong way?

I (22F) have been uncomfortable with this for a while now. My younger sister figured out how to give complete access to my dad on MyChart, and he basically had me do it too. Ever since then, I've felt weird about it.
For context, my mom is in my life, but my dad has always been the hands-on parent when it comes to health stuff, school, grades, appointments, and things like that. I understand that he cares and wants to stay on top of my health, but I'm an adult now and I don't really feel comfortable with him having access to all of my medical information.
I've actually gone through third-party testing before because I didn't want him seeing frequent appointments or tests on my chart. God forbid I ever caught something and needed treatment, I honestly don't know how I'd handle it without him finding out.
One time I booked a telehealth appointment and almost immediately he started asking questions about whether I was okay. He wouldn't really let it go until I told him what it was about. He claims he doesn't check my chart and just wants to know what's going on, but I honestly don't believe that.
The biggest thing was when I had a routine checkup and he casually said something along the lines of, "You've got to be careful out here with these STDs. I saw all your tests were negative, that's good." That's when I knew he was definitely looking.
The problem is that I know if I remove his access, he'll probably throw a fit. I even brought it up to my stepmom, and she said, "That's good." But what's good about a father having complete access to his 22-year-old daughter's medical records? Am I the only one who thinks that's a little strange?
To be clear, I'm not out here getting diagnosed with anything horrible or hiding some secret life. Most of my appointments are just regular checkups and routine tests. I just feel like as a grown woman, I should be able to manage my own healthcare without feeling like my dad is looking over my shoulder.
Am I overreacting, or is this a reasonable boundary to want?
Update** I made appointments just now and I swear he went outside to see if my car was there

I honestly don't get African parents they are so toxic maybe not all. So basically, I really don't have access to my immigration status and stuff and I have to keep up with them to get my papers so I don't go back to Nigeria. I've talked to CAS twice already and I'm getting really tired. Thankfully, one of my mother's friends has common sense and doesn't have the toxic shit embedded in her. I'm trying to survive for one more year and I don't have an SIN or a bank account so I have to depend on my father's account and i know they will take my money which really hurts but there's nothing I can do. I am trying to survive and thankfully that woman is going to talk to us. Honestly, I'm disassociating.

In December 2017, I moved to Canada and met a cousin of my mother for the first time. I had only just learned about her, and she looked similar to my mom. She was a doctor and had lived in Canada for over 30 years. On one occasion, while we were talking on the phone, she started treating me like a child, which is something that happens in some Nigerian families where elders expect younger people to defer to them regardless of their age. I told her, “Please treat me as an equal” (meaning, treat me as an adult). She took it as disrespect, and for the next seven years, she never spoke to me or answered my calls. I was 35 years old. I could have benefited enormously from having a relative who knew the country well and could have been an anchor as I settled in,for support, or to store a few things in her garage. All that potential disappeared because I asked to be treated as an equal adult.

A parent of mine isn’t happy that I have a job interview. It’s far from home. I was happy before I told them .

im in shock because their reaction wasn’t “ thsts great “ it’s “ how far” “ when is it “ “ how will you get there”

I’m in my mid 20s

this is my second opportunity after months of applying for jobs

Next time, an auntie makes a comment about your weight, mirror it back to her and watch her jaw drop like she’s about to spoon some yam potage into her mouth.

TW: possible abuse mentions

If you google “emotional abuse from parents” she’s done most of the things that come up. Examples: ignoring me as a child when I needed comfort, telling me I’m too sensitive and a crybaby, yelling at me for doing something like biting my nails, calling me stupid, idiot, dumb, belittling me, isolating me from friends, blaming me for her problems, feeling like a burden to her, publicly ridiculing me to shame and embarrass me, treating me badly for stuff I can’t change (for example me being autistic), yelling and criticizing, making me feel less than other family members, gaslighting, neglecting my needs, doing silent treatment, etc. My mom also spanked me a lot as a kid, and as a teen hit my face so that I started bleeding, but that was only once so I don’t really consider that major physical abuse. I’m mainly talking about the emotional stuff here. I don’t know if all this is abuse because other people have genuinely had it worse, and I feel like I’m overreacting. I feel like many parents do these things

The issue is that my dad was abusive to my mom and has kind of passed that trauma down onto me. So anytime I tell my mom that she’s hurt me the convo becomes about how she was abused worse than me and I should get over it. Or that she didn’t do anything wrong and it’s normal in our culture (we’re Nigerian and also our whole family is Christian). One time I booked a therapy appointment for both of us and the therapist told me that I was being too sensitive and she thought I was making things up, to make my mom look bad. That hurt a lot because I’ve been as honest as I can, never lied about anything relating to this. So yeah I don’t really know what to do anymore I’ve just stopped mentioning it because I feel like I’m overreacting and I hate being told that I’m being too sensitive. It still hurts but I’d rather keep it inside than get that reaction again.

I use about 1 plate in a week because I'm at uni Mon-Fri and I work Saturday and Sunday.

I still have to do dishes for chores even though they will belong to basically everyone but me.

It's pissed me off that I have to do 4 peoples dishes when I barely use any. The youngest person in this house is 14.

Everyone (aside from my parents because they're so much better than us) is supposed to wash their own dishes but no one ever does.

I've been talking about getting a dishwasher for YEARS but I've always been told no.

A few days ago, my younger brother (17) had dishes left over from his week when my week to do dishes started. If I had even a single plate left over, I would've had to do either wash everything that had additionally piled up or just do that whole next week. That did not happen for him.

I was so tired of doing dishes so I went to Amazon and bought a table top dishwasher with a tank. Cost me £230 (I had some cashback credit so I only paid £200). It came yesterday, was a bit bigger than I thought but it's genuinely magical.

You just fill the tank put the dishes in, leave them and they come out clean!

It's so freeing.

Now I may be a bitch for this but NOBODY is allowed to use MY DISHWASHER. I've said that if they want access, they can send me a one of payment of £40 and they can use it whenever they want as long as they take care of it, otherwise IT'S MINE.

I'm actually giddy. My dad was super mad when he came home last night and saw it, but now he likes it too. SUCKS HE CAN'T USE IT THOUGH 😁 everybody else gonna pay or wash by hand 😎

This post is to appreciate me.

I suddenly remembered that I have money and that my parents have NO control on what I spend it on. They can whine about it all they want but it's MY money and MY dishwasher.

Moral of the story: BUY THE DAMN DISHWASHER!

This sort of shit is also why there’s a lack of accountability in our cultures, they’re always worried about how things look rather than how things are

I was 17, and I had sneaked out to go party and returned the next morning. I underestimated my parent's detective skills. Long story short, I got caught, my dad beat the shit out of me, then told me that he hated me. Our relationship since that day completely changed. I feel like this event definitely changed our relationship for good. Until now we rarely talk. I'm 26. Anyways, that's it. What's your story ?

I was busy feeling bad about my last post until today, when I have realized that we were actually honestly raised by horrible people and we are lucky to even be barely functioning in society right now.

My dad just absolutely blasted this underage teenage girl who works at our home, because “she pretends to be quiet but is always on phone talking to people he doesn’t know.”

I heard him shouting and went to see what was going on, only to find her cornered by him yelling at the top of his lungs, for no real reason other than that. That she’s acting suspicious and he can’t tolerate it any more. This guy doesn’t even pay her. She’s on my mom’s payroll.

Meanwhile she is the one person they’ve got who is actually diligent in her work. She manages the household and my mom’s business chores on her own ever since her colleagues left (doing the work of two people on an income of 1), and she even handles my mom’s home business, clients and revenue with integrity.
The girl is overworked and underpaid but she still shows up, even while having no one to talk to apart from her friends on the phone.

Her movements are restricted but somehow these people want her to keep quiet and never talk to anyone, never go outside, never do anything.
Whoever bewitched these people to have such ugly temperaments really used strong juju.

I relate to her so bad because that used to be me. Being overworked, yelled at and cursed out for literally any small thing, just because I was a teenager. And I hate that I can’t do anything about this situation. I hate that I’m still stuck living with such a horrible persona. I hate the fact that I’m related to such a person.

I feel like these people have brought so many curses on their own family with the way they treat people, and like… we deserve it all, even just being connected to such horrid characters. That’s why we are all miserable as hell, battling with mental challenges, trauma, addictions etc.

I don’t know what’s wrong with people just wanting to be miserable all the time.
This is the best employee my mom is ever going to get considering she often hires casual laborers so she can underpay them.

My dad (a narcissist and alcoholic) doesn’t have the presence of mind to realize when he’s just itching to cause conflict, so he does stupid things like this and then storms off to hide his shame in the bedroom.

He’s lucky he’s well off because his personality is horrible. If he didn’t give people money, no one would want to be around him.

And she’s the one who makes food at home.
If someone ever poisoned us out of revenge I’d probably die laughing.

I recently had a convo with my cousin from Nigeria; long story short, she pretty much unintentionally validated the heinous abuse I experienced as a kid at the hands of my Nigerian Father.

She said, and I quote, "When I used to visit your house, I never felt comfortable around your dad; he would yell and degrade you and your siblings. You could see he was filled with so much anger. I remember when he yelled at you and told you you were a failure and then looked at me and forced a fake smile, as if I didn't see the constant abuse you were facing. Omo, I've seen terrible parents in Nigeria, but your Father takes the icing."

List of things I experienced in my hellhouse at the hands of a Nigerian Narcissist:

My dad would yell and degrade me since I was 8 years old. He told me to look at myself in the mirror and tell myself that I'm a failure; he called me stupid and an animal; he regretted having me; he called me the devil in his life and much more.

My dad would throw tantrums anytime I made a mistake. I remember when he threw my science fair papers at me because I miswrote what he said (I was 8 years old at that time) and told me I wouldn't be anything in life.

I cooked and cleaned every day, served my parents every day. Was picked on a bit at school and was abused at home. It was hell.

My dad referred to himself as the GOD of the house and said that he had the last word in the household.

My dad would also Fart when we were eating (he was allowed to do that because he was the "God" of the house). My mom tried to tell him to stop, but he told her to shut up.

I remember when my mom found corn on his laptop, and this fool decided to lie on my brother and me even though it was him watching it. When my mom asked us all again, she concluded it must've been an ad. He's a coward unfit to be a father. Instead of my mom leaving this fool, she stayed and had more kids with him because she wanted a son.

Anyone in their teens reading this, if you lived in a hell home like me, please get a job during high school in order to leave. I didn't want to leave my mother behind because my dad would constantly abuse her; don't be like me. If your mother decides to continue a harmful marriage at the expense of her well-being.... let her. If she ends up sick or even dying, please know it was not your fault. Put yourself forward.

WHY WOULD SHE GO THROUGH MY DIARY I AM SICK AND TIRED OF THIS WOMAN, DO U KNOW HOW MANY TIMES IVE WANTED TO KILL MYSELF AND JUST FEEL MISERY BECAUSE OF THIS WOMAN. She is NOT A mother i dont know what i did to deserve being born to this woman but i TRY i really do try to be a good son i do household work and i even do well in school for my own being and im not even a troublesome child who is always staring problems i don’t even ask to go places, i JUST TRY TO BE A GOOD PERSON. And im repayed with THIS NONSENSE OF A LIFE, does anyone have any experiences similar this woman is not a mother at all I WOULD NEVER treat my children if i have any in future like this. This is suffering oh my good lord, and i dont even have a father because hes with a different woman. im ALONE here. I have to freaking talk to people on social media dms because i actually have nobody

PLEASE HELP ME I AM ACTUALLY SUFFERING.

My parents have always ben insanely strict and just yk but this time they have reeched a new level. Too long of a story but they took my phone and i cant contact nor hangout with my friends ( was never aloud to lol ) they jeep fearmonerging me about friends just because i in my phone ranted to my friends how trapped and depressed i felt in my household. Im genunily reachng a limit with this family they dont learn and have just took the one thing i have and coutine to critize and yell. I am so done with living and then ths bitch is ordering me to write my college essay ( im a senior) screaming at me im just so done with this family. I am so tired of living in a household where im not a person.

When I was 14 I was always butting heads with my parents, especially with my mom. I did this because they started to expect me to fall into typical gender roles and I didn’t want to do that, and I also struggled mentally at the time so I had little to no energy to do everything they expected of me. Be submissive, learn how to cook every single traditional food (although they’d never even tell me when to learn, they’d just bring up the fact that I couldn’t cook anything that wasn’t stuff like potatoes and rice and pasta) and take everything they say as law…my 14 year old brain just couldn’t handle it especially when I was in boarding school most of the time where I was free to behave how I wanted and didn’t have to worry about societal expectations outside of hygiene, laundry and personal management.

After a brief time in therapy which they promptly pulled me out of, I decided to just swallow my problems and act the way they wanted me to, lest I get told “why can’t you just be normal?” again. Well as I progressed further and further with this mask I fully convinced myself that I was just childish as hell at 14 and didn’t know how good I actually had it. I was doing so well with this mindset until that bubble popped last year when nearly every other month they would hold a conversation with me pointing out all my flaws and essentially giving me a seasonal review. “Your mom is the head of the house and it’s not your place to disobey her” when I got reasonably angry as she ranted about how I was a woman first and her child second, and how I basically had no value for my future husband because I don’t know how to cut up a whole chicken. Talking about how I need to spend more time with the family even though during the time that I tried to change my ways nobody talked back to me and the only time I got to spend with my mom was when she pitied me because I would cry about being a floater friend and not getting invited to anything after graduation. Talking about how I’m not close enough with my siblings even though I told them it’s been hard to, being that I grew up a glass sibling who got resentful really quickly.

Well I could go on and on but this would be thousands of pages long, and my main point is that I reached my breaking point yesterday when after yet another convention, they almost entirely wanted me to stop my weight loss journey. I am class 2 obese for my height and it has impacted my health 3 times over 2 years and so I was advised to make healthier, separate meals. I’ve been doing that and it’s turned into a therapy for me because everything can go wrong but if I have a specific meal that I took the time to make myself, everything becomes worth it. I made the mistake admitting that I was struggling mentally and classic, instead of listening to my reasoning they decided that it was my cooking that was taking away my time to study in the morning, hence making me stressed (I literally have 2-3 hours every day at school to study and I’ve only ever woken up early to cook or work out). I managed to talk them out of it but the fact that I essentially had to beg them to give me a chance in a letter that I could barely read because I was crying so hard just made it ever so clear that their financial support and all the things they do for me come on a string, and they will choose to show that string whenever I step out of line.

I value freedom a lot and the idea of my life even minimally belonging to people who time and time again have proved to not really care that much about my personal experience scares the shit out of me and for a few weeks, the need to make money and escape has been gnawing at me even though theoretically we are pretty privileged and well off and a lot of people would love to be in my position, considering the country we come from is relatively poor and third world. But I’ve come to realize that the world isn’t gonna explode if I choose to be an asshole and live on my own terms, away from them. I will eventually fix my relationship with my siblings when they’re old enough to not have to hang out under 24/7 surveillance from my parents that micromanage any small interaction we have (which is imo contributing to our strained relationship), but I am officially resigning from the eldest daughter position. I don’t give a fuck how selfish it is.

When I showed up at my sister’s funeral, the first and only thing my mother said to me when she saw me was, “You’re the only one left now.”

No hugs or greetings, just a brisk, cold reminder to my grieving heart that I am the only person left that has genes from both my parents.

These people got together and made the most dysfunctional blended family with kids from either side, and then together they had me and my sister to finish the equation.

Biggest mistake of my entire life.

My sister fought hard to become the golden child among all the siblings, but her body decided that this world wasn’t good enough for her and she left us early.

And so here I am, as the last remaining evidence that my parents’ pointless relationship ever amounted to anything meaningful.

They call me kati ka kibiriiti
The last remaining stick in the matchbox

Suddenly I’m the one they expect to get the PhDs, the big bank jobs, the man - literally any fuckass man - and children of my own.

Jokes on them.

Unfortunately I’m not very satisfied with their parenting techniques and it will probably take my entire lifetime to heal from the traumas and conditioning they placed on me and 5 other children. To no one’s surprise, I have subsequently chosen to never engage in the typical marriage or childbirth nonsense.

I posted about planning to get revenge on my parents, and most of my tricks right now are petty little things I do just to make myself feel better whenever they do something fucked up.

But my revenge will be complete the day I finally get them to realize that their legacy together ends with me.
Let’s pray for their good health and long life till then.

The irony is that I remain their kati ka kibiriiti, just in a different way than they expected😂

This might sound selfish, but I genuinely want to know if anyone else has experienced something like this, especially if you grew up in an African household.
I’m currently doing my master’s, and instead of being where my mom thinks I am, I’m actually staying at my boyfriend’s house. Neither of us depends on the other financially, we both have our own income, and he doesn’t charge me rent or anything. We’re pretty frugal with our money, so I have the opportunity to save and build some financial security in case something goes wrong. Honestly, things are going well, and for once, I feel like I can breathe a little.
The problem is my mom is upset that I don’t call her every single day. She keeps bringing up how she’s been such a caring mother and how much she’s sacrificed for her children. And to be fair, she hasn’t been the worst mother compared to some of the experiences I’ve heard from other people. I recognize that she has put her children before herself in a lot of ways, sometimes to the point where she neglects her own needs. But at the same time, I’m not sure if that means I owe her constant access to me for the rest of my life.
My parents separated when I was around 15 or 16, and ever since then, I’ve been telling my mom that she needs to start prioritizingq herself. I’ve told her that I can’t be the person she takes her frustrations out on, and that she needs to learn how to live her own life outside of being a mother. Her children are growing up. We’re adults now, and we’re slowly becoming less dependent on her. My siblings are away at college or busy with their own lives, and now that we're not all at home anymore(for the time being atleast), it seems like she's struggling with it.
The thing is, I don't think we ever had the kind of relationship where we could tell each other everything in the first place. Growing up, we mostly did our own things. We'd be on our phones, talking to our friends, going to our rooms, or doing chores. There wasn't much emotional closeness, and I think growing up in an African household where comparison and criticism were common played a part in that.
I'm somewhat close to my sister, but my brother honestly feels like a stranger sometimes. He'll text me every six or seven months or when he needs something. We all grew up in the same house, but I wouldn't say we genuinely know each other that well.
Something else that bothers me is the difference in how my mom treats her daughters versus her son. My sister has experienced a lot of judgment surrounding dating and relationships. If she was with a guy, my mom would make comments suggesting she was loose or a slut. I'm currently in a relationship myself, but nobody in my family knows, and I intend to keep it that way until I'm ready to get married. Meanwhile, my brother doesn't seem to receive that same kind of scrutiny.
We're all academically gifted, have stayed out of trouble, and haven't given our parents any major reasons to worry about us. Yet there's this underlying assumption that daughters need to be watched and judged more closely than sons. I understand that my mom has been through some terrible experiences with men, especially with my dad, and I know that has affected how she views relationships. But understanding where her behavior comes from doesn't mean I want to live my life under that same judgment.
I think the biggest thing I've realized is that being related doesn't automatically mean you're emotionally close. We're a family because we're related, but that doesn't mean we know each other on a deeper level. And honestly, I'm okay with accepting that instead of forcing a closeness that was never really there.
My current plan is to finish my master's and then officially tell my mom that I'm moving out and living my own life(and I’m not telling them my location, maybe a general area). I already know it's probably going to turn into a huge situation, especially because I'm keeping my relationship a secret and haven't been entirely honest about where I am. But I also feel like if I told her everything right now, I'd have to deal with the judgment, arguments, and emotional pressure before I'm ready.
Part of me feels guilty because I know she has sacrificed a lot for us. Another part of me feels like I'm finally getting the space to live my own life without constantly worrying about how she'll react to my decisions.

So, am I being selfish?

Am I wrong for wanting distance from my mom when she feels like she deserves more communication and involvement in my life because of everything she's done for me? Or is this just part of growing up in an immigrant household where parents sometimes struggle to accept that their children are becoming independent adults?
I'd especially appreciate hearing from other people who grew up in African households and have dealt with the guilt that comes with setting boundaries with their parents.

So I met a good friend for drinks and to talk over a business deal we are working on together, where they will become my client.

And I noticed something very strange changing within me, once the conversation of money started to come up

I started to feel timid and I could feel that I was shrinking into myself. Suddenly I felt awkward around this person I’ve known for ages, I felt uncomfortable and inadequate.
Scrutinized. Ashamed.

Money makes me nervous.

Holding money, owing someone money, being given/gifted money, even literally having a client who has paid me money and is expecting a service in return, all of it makes me nervous.
It’s like I feel that money gives the other person authority over me and my entire existence.

And I know why.

We were made to feel like burdens all our lives.
Like we were taking up too much space, eating too much food, being too… alive.
Too greedy.
Too expensive.
Too short-tempered.
Too loud.
Too slow.
Too colorful.
Too emotional.
Too trusting.
Too frivolous.
Too careless.
Too competitive.
Too excited.
Too impulsive.
Too vain.
Too revealing.
Too impatient.
Too outspoken.
Too much like your father.
Too much like your mother.
Too different from your sister.
Too you.

This also meant that taking care of us was a burden, and not because they couldn’t afford it.
If you needed clothes to go to church, it was “Put on your school uniform” “what do you need all those clothes for?
“You like expensive things, they will lead you into trouble”
“what do you need a job/ allowance for? Don’t we give you everything?”
Every good thing they place in front of you can be used in future as additional evidence of what an ungrateful child you are, and don’t even think about defending yourself.
You had to be endlessly, needlessly thankful or face the wrath of a narcissist with a wounded ego.

Receiving preceded pain.

I’m only worthy enough to receive if I show that I deserve it, by kissing ass, hard. Thanking endlessly. And never asking for more than what they choose to give, even if I actually deserve/ need it.

In Luganda we call it okulangira.
The giver’s good deed is always at the back of their mind and can be brought up at their convenience, to make you feel guilty.

And so receiving becomes a problem.

I give out too much of myself. I try too hard to make sure he cums. I thank people unnecessarily. I feel like I’m conning/insulting people when I ask them to pay for my services. I feel weird when I am offered money. I scrutinize every text/email I send out to make sure I’m not offending anyone.
I use emojis and repeated letters for this very reasonnnnn😍

I subconsciously feel like my presence is a burden, like people get tired of me at some point. Like I’m too much.

Paying customers have been avoiding me like the plague. It’s like they can smell the self doubt and trauma on me. All my deals keep falling through. It’s been a few years now. I feel like any work I do is inadequate and I’m never going to get paid. When someone pays me, I hold my breath waiting for them to realize that I’m a fucking fraud and they have wasted their money on me.
I feel like what I’m offering is not enough. I feel like I don’t deserve any more than the peanuts that “people think” i deserve.

I’m deep in the anus of the valley of death, and I’m still planning where I’m going to place the flag then I get back to myself.
That’s that entrepreneurial spirit, baby.

Because of this conditioning, when the time comes to have an interaction in which a person gives me money, I wilt away.

I’ve wilted myself back into my mother’s basement, pacing between my laptop and the couch,
Yelling at God.
“Do you, understand, the words, that are coming out of my mouth?”
Praise the Lord.

The funny thing is, the universe wants to get me paid. I’m just too afraid to accept it.

Yes, I’m an ungrateful child.
And I’m also so much more.

Hey everyone I am 21F and am going to college commuting locally and live with my Latino family. I am a rather obedient child, never been crazy or snuck out or had any kind of “teen adventures.” I was only allowed to start permit and driving at 19 and got my license at 20. I finally bought my own car 3 months ago. Life hasn’t changed much I got to school,work, church, and have a curfew of 10:30pm. I came home around 11pm for the first time without getting noticed three times recently. Later on when my dad was in a bad mood he was asking me why is it that I got home that late when before I would always be home with other peoples carpool at 9pm (not true he was exaggerating it to make it a crazy difference, I used to get in trouble when my friends would drop me off 10:15 all the Yes I know I can move out but I financially am unable to right now, and I like being at home. I am specifically asking for tips with negotiating, how to communicate and establish boundaries while still being respectful to them. time). How is it that some of you that have lived in strict households balance keeping them happy but also living an adult life with freedom. Any one else with any miscellaneous experience and their strict parents feel free to give any advice.