Throwback to 10 years ago and I was the fittest I've ever (and most likely will ever) be. Raced B grade, won some races, averaged 300-400km a week, did an everesting, FTP of 375 and a very lean 85kg. The feeling of being able to just press on and on was unreal. Back then all I wanted was a house of my own, financial security, and happiness in love.
Now I'm a dad, married, mortgage, well paid but stressful job, and the image is very different. 105kg and barely touched my bike for 2 years. I'd get out of the occasional ride with my mates but it was so deeply deflating going 1/4 of the speed up climbs that used to be something that barely registered on RPE. It took a long time to come to terms with the fact I'm so far off my peak and that it is completely okay. Comparing my old self to my current self, in pure isolation of fitness on the bike, nearly led me to selling it all and just throwing in the towel.
I ended up deleting all my old data from Strava/Garmin and choose to treat cycling now like I'm starting again. I've been mainly commuting, maybe 60km a week, and getting out for one "longer" (1.5-2 hours) ride on the weekend before the family wakes up. The great news is that I'm setting distance PBs, power PBs, time on the bike PBs because I'm comparing myself to the last two years, not to 10 years ago. Just the feeling of making progress without the hanging visual of previous metrics has been such a breath of fresh air.
So, to all those out there who are in the depths of kids, career, the relentlessness of life - it's okay to not be the same as you were a long time ago, you can still enjoy cycling for what it is, a bit of fun.