I saw a post recently about a junior who was feeling down, and it made me think about how different our experiences at Penn have been. I think the biggest difference is that I came here as a grad student, while she came here as an undergrad.

I graduated from another university after four years, when I was 22. My parents encouraged me to apply to Penn, and I got accepted into the graduate program. Honestly, one of the main reasons I applied was because of my older cousin. He went to Penn through the M&T program, was in a frat, and seemed like one of those popular kids who had the perfect college experience. I was only 10 when I last visited Penn, around 2014, but I still remembered how great everything seemed. I think a part of me hoped I'd get to experience that for myself someday.

I didn't apply to Penn for undergrad because my family couldn't afford it after putting two other kids through college. By the time I applied to grad school, that wasn't really an issue anymore. So when I got accepted, I was genuinely excited.

Now I'm 23, I've been here for a year, and I have only one year left before I graduate.

And honestly, I haven't made a single real friend.

I came here thinking I'd find my people, build meaningful connections, and make friendships that would last a lifetime. Instead, I've spent most of my time feeling like I don't belong. A lot of people here come across as rich, pretentious, and difficult to connect with. Maybe some of that is my own insecurity talking, but I've found myself becoming more withdrawn over time.

I'm scared to put myself out there, so I just keep my head down, sit in the library, do my homework, go to class, and walk around campus alone. Sometimes I see people having fun, going to parties, and hanging out with their friends, and I wonder why I can't seem to have that for myself. At the same time, I feel like I'm too old to be chasing the typical college party experience as a grad student.

I know there's nothing wrong with being alone, and I genuinely believe you should be comfortable with your own company. But sometimes, it just sucks. I wish I had someone to grab food with, go on a walk with, or talk to about absolutely nothing. I want those little moments that make life feel less lonely.

The thought of graduating in a year without having experienced any of that makes me sad. I feel like I'll leave Penn with nothing to remember outside the classroom. And the worst part is that this isn't even new for me. I did the same thing during undergrad at my old university. I graduated without making many lasting friendships, and I came to Penn hoping things would finally be different.

Most people in my program are older than me, although there are a couple of other 23-year-olds. I still feel like I don't really know how to connect with people. I'm just a guy who doom scrolls reels all day inside my apartment. I tried reaching out to someone recently, hoping we could become friends, but he seemed more interested in spending time with his family, which I completely understand. Still, it left me wondering if I'm ever going to find my people here.

I've never dated anyone, either. I don't use dating apps because I don't feel attractive enough to put myself out there. Seeing other guys approach girls and get rejected makes me even more hesitant. I know rejection is a normal part of life, but when your confidence is already low, it's hard to convince yourself to take that risk.

I've tried looking into grad student clubs and other ways to meet people, but nothing has really clicked. I know people will say to put yourself out there, join clubs, and talk to more people. But it's not as easy as it sounds when you're already struggling with confidence and feel like everyone else has their own circle.

Honestly, I wanted to drop out during my first year because I missed my parents so much. Being so far away from home was harder than I expected, and I begged them to let me leave. But they kept bringing up the Penn name and what a great opportunity this was. I understand that they want what's best for me, but as an Asian kid, the pressure to live up to a prestigious university's name can be exhausting. Sometimes it feels like the name on my degree matters more than whether I'm actually happy.

Now I'm struggling with my grades, my mental health, my social life, and the fact that I've never even been in a relationship. I feel like I'm disappointing my parents in every way that matters to them. A lot of people's parents migrated here to give them a better life, and I barely gave my parents anything to be proud of me.

I know I'm only 23, and I know I have my whole life ahead of me. People always say there's no timeline for making friends or finding love, and I understand that logically. But emotionally, it's hard not to feel like I'm running out of time to experience the things I thought I'd experience in college.

Sometimes I just want to say fuck it to everything, leave, and disappear somewhere on an island where nobody can find me. Somewhere I don't have to worry about grades, expectations, or whether I'm good enough. I'm tired of feeling like I'm constantly falling short.

I guess I just wish things had turned out differently. I wish I'd made friends, had the courage to put myself out there, I wish I was handsome & tall, and experienced what it's like to have someone romantically interested in me. I wish I could stop measuring my worth by whether I'm living up to my parents' expectations but that trauma is still there.

More than anything, I don't want to graduate from Penn with another degree and the same loneliness I had during undergrad. I don't want to look back years from now and feel like I spent my entire time studying, going to class, and being alone.

Hey I’m wondering if there is a community for grad students at Penn. I have not made any connections here and it would be cool if there are events and a group chat. If not I can start one :)

hey guys, my name's Gigi. some of yall in the nursing program may know me as Gigabowsr. this is an update post to my previous post:

im a nursing student girlie who studies all the time and one of my fav places to study is the lower level of van pelt.

earlier today while i was studying there, i accidentally spilled my entire cup of coffee and i had to throw the whole cup away. then some random guy who's also studying several seats across from me got up from his seat and walked away. then several minutes later, he came back and placed a brand new cup of coffee on my table and said "here u go". i didnt even get a chance to say thanks since he walked away so quickly right after that and i was both shocked and confused at the time.

random curly haired boy wearing a gymshark hoodie, if ur reading this, thank u so much!!! im sorry for not telling u that in person!

so here's the update: i saw him again this morning!

i sat down in the same exact spot at the same exact time as last friday when i first saw him in hopes that i'd see him again. and it worked! i saw him several seats across from me and he was also in the same exact seat as last time.

i was gonna walk towards him to thank him for the coffee last friday, but my nerves got to me and i was like paralyzed on my seat haha. he ended up walking towards me anyways and he said "don't spill your coffee again". then we both laughed and started chatting about our majors and what we're studying for.

then we exchanged numbers and we've been texting all day today. i even got him to start playing my favorite game (path of exile 2).

the funny thing is that he ended up confessing to me that he sat down in the same exact spot at the same exact time in hopes to see me too lmao. i hope he asks me out to go on a date eventually.

the other funny thing is that he's seen me before on instagram since i went viral there

I’m writing this not to gain sympathy, because I recognize that many of the things I’m struggling with are consequences of my own decisions. I’m hoping, though, that someone here can offer some advice, especially if you’ve ever felt like you wasted your college years or lost sight of yourself.

I’m currently a junior, and it has recently hit me that I may have wasted not only my college experience in general, but also this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to attend an Ivy League university. Looking back, I think the moment I got into Penn in high school, I became complacent. I stopped feeling that same drive to achieve things, even though I hadn't necessarily accomplished anything extraordinary yet. I think I subconsciously treated getting into Penn as the finish line, when it was supposed to be the beginning.

Freshman year started off well, but things gradually went downhill. I lost my entire friend group, got Cs and Ds in General Chemistry I and II despite being premed, and became so miserable by the end of the spring semester that the thought of staying in Philadelphia made me genuinely upset. I even got an interview for PURM and didn't bother attending. Looking back, I regret that. Even if I hadn't gotten the position, I wish I had at least given myself the opportunity to attend the interview.

I ended freshman year with a 2.8 GPA. I thought going home for the summer would give me a chance to reset and return to Penn sophomore year with a renewed mindset. Instead, I spent the summer working in retail for over 40 hours a week. I barely had time for myself. My routine was essentially going to work, coming home, getting high off weed, and repeating the cycle. I wasn't doing research or gaining clinical experience, and I wasn't really working toward anything I had once said I wanted.

When sophomore year started, I was still carrying the emotional baggage of freshman year. I watched some of the friends I had lost climb what felt like the social ladder, and instead of focusing on rebuilding my own life, I became preoccupied with keeping up.

I became obsessed with Greek life because I convinced myself it was the only way to have a good social experience at Penn. I didn't want to feel ostracized by the people I perceived as popular or high-status, the way I sometimes had in high school. I rushed, didn't get into the sorority I wanted, and eventually dropped the process.

There was also a rich guy involved and I felt like I had nothing to offer him. Somewhere along the way, I developed the ridiculous idea that if I could get into a top sorority, I would finally be socially worthy enough for him to want to date me. I spent so much time thinking about him, waiting for him to spend time with me, and imagining what things could become. To this day, we're not even together. Nothing ever really happened. Looking back, it's painful to realize how much of my time and energy I gave to trying to be someone I thought other people would find worthy of choosing.

Now I'm a junior, and I feel like time is running out. I have no publications, my GPA is a 2.93, and medical school feels increasingly out of reach. I know that publications aren't everything, and I know a 2.93 doesn't automatically mean my future is over, but I can't stop comparing where I am to where I thought I would be by now.

Sometimes I walk down Locust Walk and realize that, before long, my time at Penn will be a memory. I worry that when I look back on these years, I won't remember the opportunities, the growth, or the excitement of being here. I'll remember how sad, stressed, and preoccupied I was. And the hardest part is feeling like I brought so much of that on myself.

Several of my friends, including some who are premed, are studying abroad this spring. I can't stop thinking about how that could have been my life, too. I applied and hoped to have that experience, but my academic situation ultimately got in the way. Watching other people have the experiences I wanted sends me into this perpetual cycle of regret, wondering what my life could have looked like if I hadn't lost sight of my goals.

When I compare the person I was in high school, the things I accomplished, and the ambition I used to have with who I am now, I feel a deep sense of sadness. I feel like I've failed myself. I spent so much time worrying about how other people perceived me that I lost track of the person I actually wanted to become.

I know I'm still young, and objectively, I know I have time to make changes. But knowing that logically doesn't seem to stop me from grieving the experiences I've missed or obsessing over the choices I can't undo. I don't want to spend the rest of my time at Penn looking backward, but I also don't know how to stop.

For anyone who has gone through something similar, how did you move forward? How did you stop fixating on the college experience you could have had and start appreciating the life you can still build? How did you forgive yourself for wasting time, especially when you know you could have made different choices?

I don't necessarily need reassurance that everything will magically work out. I'm looking for honest advice on how to break this cycle of regret and make the most of the time I have left.

does this feeling ever go away because I swear there are parents side eyeing me like I owe them money when I'm just trying to mind my own business and walk to class :')

it's like a walk of shame x1000 especially because I am NOT dressed to be perceived

Looking for advice on course professors for BEPP 2500 in Spring 2027. Options are Syan Bhanot or Harari/Doraszelski. Course review seems to recommend Bhanot on prof. quality, but wanted to see if anyone had experience with either group. The class times work better with Harari/Doraszelski for scheduling. Thx

Anybody have an idea about how good the chestnut square apartments- off campus housing is for Upenn undergrads?

Trying to get an idea if the mgmt is good, any issues with mice, pests etc. Or other major issues there.

I’m a Penn graduate student currently dealing with an ongoing lease dispute with The Mark Philadelphia / Landmark Properties, and I really wish someone had warned me before I signed.

There are three things about this experience that have been especially troubling.

First, I was given an incorrect application deadline before signing.

A leasing employee told me that I had to complete my application by October 9, or I would not be able to move in until January 2027.

I had originally planned to wait until November before applying. Because of what I was told, I signed the lease on October 8.

A leasing staff member later acknowledged that the October 9 information was incorrect.

What makes this even more confusing is that on October 14, only five days after that supposed deadline, The Mark’s own website was still advertising:

“Immediate Move-In Specials Available | Please Call For Pricing.”

I saved a screenshot of that page.

Second, I was given a very different picture of room availability before signing than what I was told afterward.

Before I signed, I repeatedly asked about vacant apartments because I strongly preferred a unit with no existing occupants. I specifically discussed Unit 300-A.

I was told that there were many vacant rooms, that I should be able to receive my preferred placement, and that a preference note had been added to my account.

I even tried to speak directly with the property manager before signing, but leasing staff told me that I could communicate through them.

After I signed, I was assigned to Unit 600-D, where three other residents had already been placed.

Only after I insisted on speaking directly with the property manager was I told that management does not place new residents into completely vacant apartments and instead places them into partially occupied units.

That supposed internal placement practice had never been disclosed to me before signing, despite my repeated conversations about vacant apartments.

To be clear, I understand that the written lease gives management discretion over the final bedroom assignment. My complaint is not simply that I didn’t get Unit 300-A.

My concern is that the information I received before signing materially affected both my decision to sign and the timing of that decision.

Third, there is a separate disability-related accommodation issue that management has not substantively addressed.

I have a significant reaction to remaining for extended periods in enclosed spaces where the windows cannot be opened. I can experience severe anxiety, a strong trapped feeling, shortness of breath, nausea, and a strong need to leave the space.

I later learned that the residential windows at The Mark are non-operable.

I raised this issue in writing with both The Mark and Landmark corporate and asked about a reasonable accommodation.

The Mark did not respond to that issue, and Landmark corporate’s responses did not substantively address it.

Because the residential windows throughout the property appear to be non-operable, simply moving me to another bedroom may not solve the problem.

I have asked Landmark/The Mark for a mutual release from the lease without the six-month no-cause termination penalty.

Their responses have largely focused on the fact that the written contract does not guarantee a particular bedroom and that the contract remains enforceable.

But they still have not substantively explained the October 9 information, why the actual placement practice was not disclosed before signing, or addressed my accommodation concerns.

The whole experience has left me with the impression that a lot of effort went into getting me to sign, but once the lease was signed, every concern became essentially: “You signed the contract.”

I have not moved in, picked up keys, or taken possession. The dispute is still ongoing.

I’m sharing this because I want other Penn students to be careful:

If a leasing office tells you something that affects whether or when you sign, GET IT IN WRITING.

And if anyone at Penn has had a similar experience with The Mark Philadelphia or another Landmark property — especially involving pre-signing information, room placement, lease release, or a reasonable-accommodation request that was not addressed — I would really like to hear about it.

If so, do you think you made the right decision? Any tips?

I have been here for 2 years, and I haven't gone to a single party. I told myself that I would start going to parties once I find my friends circle which never happened.

So here I am looking for parties. Maybe I will find some friends there.

PLS DON'T TELL ME TO JOIN A CLUB CUZ I ALREADY TRIED

im a nursing student girlie who studies all the time and one of my fav places to study is the lower level of van pelt.

earlier today while i was studying there, i accidentally spilled my entire cup of coffee and i had to throw the whole cup away. then some random guy who's also studying several seats across from me got up from his seat and walked away. then several minutes later, he came back and placed a brand new cup of coffee on my table and said "here u go". i didnt even get a chance to say thanks since he walked away so quickly right after that and i was both shocked and confused at the time.

random curly haired boy wearing a gymshark hoodie, if ur reading this, thank u so much!!! im sorry for not telling u that in person!

I'm so serious. I had a class in there this morning, and there was nothing, not even in the female bathroom. When I asked the front desk, they said they "don't provide those." I swear, if it wasn't for me being prepared, it would have been incredibly stressful. They need to really match what the other buildings are doing with providing those things for people in a pinch, because it matters SO much. I'm sure they have the funding for it---after all, they're doing major renovations.

Want to experience an ivy dining hall. Can I eat at any of the dining halls as a non-student?

Hi everyone! I am a freshman and I was pretty excited to come to Penn and make new friends. I would consider myself decently extroverted and able to talk to most people. But I still have absolutely zero friends so far. I feel like I’ve tried everything: going to NSO events, asking people to do things, going to club events, basically anything I could think of. No matter what I do though, nothing works. People either just stare and ignore me or are just flat out rude. I don’t get to say anything beyond very basic conversation. Ever since I got back from fall break though, I get tons of anxiety before leaving my room and talk to people. Now I feel like everyone is judging me before I even talk. I have been trying to move past it but it kind of is difficult when you begin shaking before leaving your dorm. So far I have been able to push it down to go to classes and clubs but it’s been really hard.

I am just scared that it will be this way for my whole Penn career so if anyone has any advice it would be appreciated!

Can you recommend any buildings with a one-bedroom for a grad student in the following area? Ideally, it should be between the 34th and 15th streets, east to west, and between the Arch and Washington streets, north to south. Outside recommendations are also appreciated!

Hi everyone,

I’ve been considering ED to Penn CAS, but I’ve been really concerned about the pre-professional culture, cutthroat/hyper-competitive environment, and the cold, harsh winters.

Do you guys feel like this plays a big part of your everyday life on campus? How is the social life?

I want a collaborative environment. Genuine, nice people. Good food. Warm, sunny days. Is that there in Philly? For context, I’m from the south.

Any comments would be appreciated. Thanks!

I'm traveling to Philly to visit Penn this week but I'll be arriving to campus on Friday around 7am. I'm attending an information session and campus tour scheduled to start at 9:30, so I'm just wondering what I should do for those couple of hours. Any recommendations for cafes/parks/libraries/other places to explore in the area would be great. I like places with chill, artsy vibes, if that helps at all (I'm not expecting much to be open at that hour, so obviously don't worry about this if it's not achievable). Thanks 🙏

Hey everyone! I’m applying to Penn ED soon, most likely to SEAS, and if I get in (please), I’m trying to figure out what path to take.

A little about me: I’m super curious and love learning new things, but I’m not really a hardcore technical studier. Penn has been my dream school since I was a kid. I’m into AI, startups, business, space, and all that cool tech stuff, and I’d love to become a tech entrepreneur someday, plus do misc. internships and try a bunch of things out.

On the skills side, I’ve built a couple of moderately SaaS businesses and won MANY competitions around a variety of my tech projects, but I wouldn’t call myself technical. I have a good sense of tech and AI and definitely have a builder's mindset, but I’m not really a coder (I’m more of an avid Claude user). I do learn fast, though. I know APs aren’t exactly rigorous these days, but I got 5s on the physics and math ones. I’d say I’m a decent student who can survive at Penn, but definitely not a prodigy by any means.

The reason I’m sharing all this is that I don't want to do a crazy hard BSE at SEAS. I want time for clubs, college life, electives, building my own stuff, and interning, and I worry a super rigorous engineering major would eat up all of that.

What I’m looking for is a degree that’s respected for jobs, looks good on a resume, and lets me explore paths while staying grounded in technical rigor. My plan at SEAS is a BAS in computer science with a mix of Wharton and other electives. That way I can figure out what I like, keep the workload flexible, and take advantage of Wharton.

My biggest fear is that CS is kind of dying (correct me if I'm wrong; I do not know the comp sci scene at Penn).

If you have advice on what to look out for at Penn or a path you’d recommend based on my background, I’d love to hear it.

Thanks for taking the time to read!

Hey everyone!

I'm a first-year international grad student at Penn GSE, originally from China.

I've been feeling a bit socially disconnected since coming to Philly, and I'd really love to meet some new people and make genuine friendships!

English isn't my first language, so sometimes I struggle to express myself as naturally as I'd like. I'd love to meet people who are patient and don't mind that, or fellow non-native English speakers who can relate!

I like basketball, football, calligraphy，Cooking.And also I like linguistics, language, sociology, art, and any other topic around this.

I'm always down to grab coffee, explore Philly, get food, or just hang out and chat about random stuff.

Feel free to DM me if you're interested! :)

I really want to find some people to play commander with, but I’ve been really struggling to find anyone. Even going to the tabletop club I can’t find even 4. Please hmu if you want to/can play!

hey! does anyone happen to know if there’s a hyrox team/club at Penn?