Hello, this song reflects how I feel and I managed to turn it into music. I'd love to hear your thoughts!

My big sister helped me write the lyrics and doubled my lead vocals for the entire song (and she's "not a singer", but that's only worth mentioning because I think she kicked ass on this).

A band I used to be in really pulled the rug out from under me after I dedicated 8 years to making records and touring with them (full time). I started writing this after going to watch a friend's band play at Seattle's Rain City Doom Fest, the first time I immersed myself in a metal show (a totally new music scene than I was used to). That experience was so inspiring and beautiful that it led to this piece. I love Tori Amos and feel like you can hear a little bit of the unintentional "cornflake girl" influence, followed by "winter" for the outro.

The outro (3:27-end) is one of my favorite things I've ever made, with so many of my extended family voices backing me. We set up to record the group vocals at thanksgiving, while everyone was already gathered at my parents house. We ended up doing a bunch of different individual vocal takes that created a really cool soundscape of haunting vocals that made the song feel powerful (even in it's rawness) and was especially healing for my personal artist wounds. For me, it's a beautiful reminder that even through an awful experience of betrayal and the loss of some best friends + career as a working musician, I still had people in my corner, and that I wasn't alone, as they could all relate to the sentiment in one way or another.

I wanted this song to feel like justice for the parts of us that feel hurt after being treated like we're disposable. I remember hearing the word come up in a sentence while listening to a podcast and thinking "OH, that is the rage song I've been trying to write." Looking up the definition, it read: "intended for single use or to be discarded once no longer useful."

Feels like the metalheads got it right, not only by letting big emotions explode, but by celebrating them exploding properly in the right environment. So here's a weird explosion of my heart and I hope you enjoy. Thanks for listening.

Hell yep its on spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/55EXHrq6qNuPBNqSCn3Jaa?si=564b19f872b64184

Hell yep its also on youtube: https://youtu.be/hLq9aCXNXFg?si=tqzl-uZh9yP7DCQe