So I went on a couple dates with this guy awhile back and I need help reading the situation. For context we used to work together, we no longer do- I left the company. He’s really hot imo.

half venting, half looking for advice
i never thought i would make a post about something like this, but here we go. any advice is welcome
so i’ve only been in one relationship for a literal month and am very… independent? i’m completely fine alone and love just being with myself. with that said i am also quite romantic and love the idea of finding my person. so situationships clearly are not for me.
unfortunately as logical as i usually prefer to be (infj if that means anything to who’s reading) the heart wants what it wants
i downloaded a dating app and set my location to japan (i live in the us…), initially just for fun. my friend had done the same thing and it sounded fun until i realized part of me was already hoping i might meet my “person” this way. side note i am half japanese and can speak some if that makes any of this more reasonable 🙂 it does to me lol
i’m also of the mindset that i would move to japan for a while if i could, so if long distance or something happened there would be an end date. so basically i reasoned with myself enough to start talking to people on the app, matched with this guy \[24M\] and gradually stopped talking to other people as i got to know this guy better. we talked pretty much every day, but short exchanges each time because he would only send a few texts a day. a few weeks in, we called on the phone and it was really fun; i felt so comfy talking to him right away which doesn’t happen with me often. i had a trip planned 3 months in (not just to see him, i was planning on going before i met him) and ended up going on about six dates with him in japan. i was super nervous to meet him but by the end of the first date i already felt so safe (they say with the right person you feel sleepy, that’s how i feel every time i’m with him. the butterflies are there too but i feel more safe than anything). we have so much fun talking, especially because we’re on the same page about doing things like actually listening and asking questions (also he’s fluent in english so we speak in both languages). he’s super affectionate which i love. there are many great things about him that check the boxes i consider non-negotiable. honestly, if he were to ask me out i would 100% say yes.
the chances of that are slim, though. the last time we met i decided to ask what he was looking for, to which he said he wasn’t sure because his last relationship ended a few months ago. he said he doesn’t feel anything towards his ex, but the relationship was tiring. i didn’t pry and know very little about that relationship (the only serious one he’s had). he also said that he struggles talking to multiple people at the same time so he’s only talking to me now, which if true is exactly how i feel.
he asked if i’m ready to be in a relationship and i said yes, but made it clear that i’m fine alone too.
i am not desperate to be with this guy. i do have feelings for him, which to be honest means a lot for me because i’ve never really felt i liked anyone. i could absolutely see myself with him, as he is now, and kind of hate the idea of him ending up with someone else. but i am now back in the us, he’s in japan, i didn’t tell him how i feel and he didn’t ask.
so i guess i would like some kind of opinion on this. my dad suggested i just let things be and keep talking to him, see where things go and if i’m meant to be with him it’ll happen. in that case i assume i shouldn’t confess? because if i do what will that do for me? i know he said he’s not ready but i have this stupid thought that if he knew how i felt he might want something with me. also with the way things unfolded i think i haven’t made it clear if i want something serious either. then again he hasn’t asked, so.
he has mentioned certain things he wants to do together when we meet again (planning on moving to japan next year for a while if life works in my favor). i know words are just words but i wonder if he sees a future with me and may keep talking to me until he’s ready?
last thing i wanna say is that i do feel quite naive. i consider myself to be very self aware most of the time and i’ve done a lot of work on myself. i value myself highly and like i said i’m good alone. i also know that if a guy wants to be with you he’ll do what it takes, so this guy treating me like a gf and being all lovey dovey doesn’t mean he necessarily wants to be with me. i guess the emotional part of me just hates that i’m not “enough” for him and the logical part of me doesn’t understand how you can act like you like someone without liking them. if you like someone, tell them! and do something about it! we’re only here for so long, why waste time?
so yea. sorry this was long and probably nonsensical, i really don’t vent like this ever but figured it might be cathartic. if you actually read this all i really appreciate it. much love

Okay so, two months ago I went on a date with this guy and we kinda hit it off quick. We hung out four days straight, but then told me that he had a child and an ex-wife. I was definitely shocked but I didn't want to be shallow and stop seeing him just because he had a child at a young age. Things were eventful and he even asked me to be his gf within a week of knowing each other and I said let's give it a week. But he would then tell me how much dating him would be "the best decision I could make in my life." I would kinda laugh it off and say that I do like him but I just needed some more time since it had been only a week and so. Mind you, I work full time and he is in college. He let me meet his friends, PARENTS, and invite me to his hobbies like tennis and baseball. He even said the L word after a week and a half. (Note: he mentioned that it was "normal" for him to brings girls to meet his parents even when they weren't dating yet) So yes, I did notice some signs but I liked him so I continued to ignore them. He eventually met my friends and things were going great. But then the times we would spend together got later and later. And sometimes just because he come over late didn't mean we always had s3x. So I told him that I wanted quality time with him where we could spend a day together. He agreed and said let's hangout this weekend. The weekend came, I took an everything shower, did my makeup, hair, and was ready by noon. I didn't hear anything from him so I called. He picked up and told me that the place we were going to were closed. I didn't care what we did because I just wanted to be with him so I asked him what time can we hang. He said 3pm like.... I was upset but I didn't say anything. 3pm comes and I don't hear from him. I then text him 20mins past if we were still hanging out. He then said that he was with his child and that he had to care for him. And I was not upset at him spending time with his kid at all I was upset that he didn't TELL ME about it. Anyways I said I was upset but he didn't really apologize. A week later we had plans to hangout with my friend and her partner on a Sat at 11am which I had told him a week in advance. He stayed the night before and in the morning I ask what he needs to do before we meet up with my friends and he says "I have to go to my kids bday party at 10am so I can meet you guys there around 1pm." What tf. Again, I am not upset that he had to go to a bday party for his child, he should be there but I wish he had told me about it. Anyways I tell my friend, she's understanding we push it to noon. He ends up showing up at 2:30pm. I don't say anything. We say bye to my friend at 4pm I get into his car thinking we still have the rest of the day together. Nope. He tells me he has dinner plans with the fam at 8pm. Again, why didn't he tell me that. Whatever, I keep going. He starts texting me less and less and would take hours to respond and wouldn't even text me after 6pm one day. And said that "I fell asleep" this type of thing happened three times in one week. I then tell him how I feel like he's becoming distant. He says "sorry I'm just busy with stupid stuff." I then pull back a little but he doesn't even react. After no contact for about 24hrs I ask if we could call. No response from him. After 24hrs of no response I say that "I'm disappointed with how things have been because I liked you" and "I don't know if we should keep seeing each other because I feel like you're pulling away". I said this on a Thursday. It is now Sunday and he still never responded. I am so confused. Do you think he will ever respond? He also left some of his belongings at my place so I don't know what to do.

Hey Reddit, I really need some advice.

I'm 23M from India, and she's 21F living in Canada. We're approximately 7,700 miles apart.

We met on September 17, 2025, through the comment section of an Instagram page about international friendships. We became best friends, and we talk almost every day. She works at a daycare and makes time for me during her breaks and whenever her schedule allows.

Somewhere along the way, I fell in love with her.

When we first met, she had recently gone through a breakup. I also had a difficult experience with love when I was younger, which made me lose trust in relationships for years. I never expected to fall this deeply for someone again.

But I did.

I've confessed my feelings to her multiple times. She has told me that she doesn't love me romantically and doesn't think she can develop those feelings for me.

Yet our connection has always felt complicated to me.

Sometimes, she agrees to give us a chance. On her birthday, after I sent her some gifts from India, she told me that she'd been thinking about giving us a chance. She said that if things worked out and we both became successful in the future, perhaps we could have something together.

I was happy. I told her we could take our time because I didn't want to force her into anything.

But after two or three days, she'd change her mind again. She'd say she couldn't do this, that she felt she was treating me unfairly, and that she didn't want a relationship.

She has also told me something I can't stop thinking about: she says she can't love me, but she can't leave me either.

I don't know what she means by that. I don't want to assume she secretly loves me, but I can't understand why our connection keeps going through this cycle of closeness and distance.

About a month ago, she blocked me.

I was devastated. I tried contacting her through multiple WhatsApp accounts, Instagram accounts, and email addresses. I sent her more than 2,000 messages, repeatedly begging her to unblock me.

She didn't come back.

Then I finally sent her a last goodbye.

And she returned almost immediately.

She started talking to me again, and I was left wondering why she came back at that moment when all my previous attempts had failed.

I know this doesn't prove that she has romantic feelings for me. Maybe she simply didn't want to lose our friendship. But because I'm so emotionally attached to her, I keep searching for an explanation.

I'm struggling more than I can explain.

I cry because I miss her. I sometimes wake up at 3 or 4 AM and can't go back to sleep because I want to talk to her. Sometimes, I go to the bathroom just to cry privately.

She has her own life, her work, and her responsibilities. I understand that she can't always be available, but I struggle to manage my feelings when I want more time with her than she can give me.

I've prayed about this and tried to calm myself down, but I still feel stuck.

She has told me several times that she doesn't love me and that if those feelings were going to develop, perhaps they would have happened by now.

I understand what she's saying, but I still love her.

Part of me wants to wait for her for years, even for the rest of my life, because I keep hoping that one day she'll genuinely choose me.

I don't want to force her to love me. I want her to develop feelings naturally, if that's ever possible.

But I also know that I can't make someone love me just because I love them deeply.

I know sending more than 2,000 messages was unhealthy, and I should have respected her boundaries when she blocked me. I'm not proud of that behaviour.

I'm trying to understand how to handle my feelings without hurting her or myself.

I'd really appreciate honest answers to these questions:

- Has anyone experienced a friendship where one person was deeply in love and the other couldn't return those feelings?

- What does it mean when someone says they can't love you but can't leave you either?

- Can someone's feelings genuinely change over time, or am I holding on to false hope?

- Should I continue being her friend when I secretly wish we could become something more?

- How do I stop obsessing over someone I love so much?

- If you were in my position, would you wait, remain friends, or walk away?

I'm not looking for people to tell me that she secretly loves me. I want the truth, even if it hurts.

She's become a very important part of my life, and I genuinely wish we could have a future together.

But I don't know whether holding on to that hope is helping me or slowly hurting me.

Please tell me honestly: what should I do?

Using a throw away just in case. So long story short been seeing someone over a year and he has feelings - not an issue since I do have feelings back - recently he’s asked me to be his girlfriend but I said “currently no until I’m settled” due to I’ve had a really shit year (dad died, nan died, had one of my cats put to sleep, threatened with being made homeless and still waiting for a new place to move into from the council all in the space of 4 months). Now he understands this, that’s not the issue. He however has told me he loves me, I’ve told him I’m not in the right place nor am I in love with him. Again he’s fine with this.

I do think I’m in love with him and was planning on telling him this but there was a big situation. He has attachment anxiety. I went out with friends on Friday night and stayed at one of theirs as I had been drinking. Well he had an episode when I was out and I had my phone on charge so I didn’t see it ring. When I checked my phone - 25 missed calls, 2 voicemails, 3 FaceTime calls, insta messages, WhatsApp messages (I didn’t even count how many) which all started off as “I’m really sorry I need you can we talk?” To “there’s no way you’re already asleep after 4 hours. What are you doing? Why are you lying to me? Etc”

Well that sent me into a stress. Now one of the friends I was with was an ex boyfriend from 20 years ago - which my mistake I told this guy that but I offered clarity - and he could see every cell in my body had gone into fight or flight mode. I eventually called him and told him this can’t happen and if you don’t trust me you tell me now. I went to sleep after a short call and woke up to another 18 messages apologising, calling himself a fuck up and the rest. I saw him Saturday afternoon to actually talk face to face and explained that what he did isn’t fair and I didn’t sign up for that. I warned him if this happens again then I will end this and not talk to him.

He has been recently diagnosed and medicated on the spectrum. He is going to therapy soon and neither of us would be surprised if he gets diagnosed with BPD due to the split he had. So I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt on one slip up.

My questions are, am I stupid for not ending it there and then? Do I tell him that I’m falling in love with him or risk him pushing for the relationship that he wants but I’m not in the right place for? Or did I do the right thing by not playing into the anxiety and telling him how it is?

Being on the other end of the spectrum to him myself, having anxiety, and generally not having the best mental health this year - I can understand from his angle but I’m questioning my angle.

I am not actually sure if what we are doing us casual dating. Let me take you back from the start.

We match on hidge the fisrt message was " Perfect, date, love, fuck, marry, children, die...". It caught my attention from there we talk ~ typical banter ( my approach was actually more on making fun of all his trying to flirt line.) From the start I can sense that he is let's say trouble.

We keep chatting a little get to know; one time we are on the same Amusement Park and because I am so curious when he said he was on a specific location I headed there, we saw each other for me he is okay after we talk for a while we go sepate ways he texted me a lot more aggressive flirt text ~ I like it tho we talk a lot and planned to meet up again. When we met he took me to dinner, and we had our drinks and then we slept together. It was a good experience we planned to see each other again. Thos after that night we still communicate but I can sense that it's not the same as before.

Now we are planning on seeing each other again and ofcourse since we flirt in chat we plan to sleep together again. But this time will be the last time since he will flight to different country to pursue his study and start new life, which is kinda sad. Our time is burning out already but I know we said this is not serious now that he is leaving I am contemplating whether I can handle to sleep with him again and not get hurt.

We said hopefully we can still communicate but let's be honest that won't last, he will find more girls for sure for me this is the first time I do this and I freaking hate how it's going so I won't be doing this kind of stuff again. I'll rather die single than play around.

The question should I sleep with him for lasttime or cut off completely?

also he is 4 years younger than me

Hi! i just wanted to ask for some advice on a situation I am currently in. I recently met a guy and in the beginning he was acting extremely kind and respectful towards me causing me to consider having a relationship with him after he had confessed. However, recently he has shown a significant change in behaviour. Previously he had been constant complimenting me and would come over to spend time with me a lot but recently he just shows like no interest or consideration for me. I'm not sure how to explain it but it just seems so distant to me, l've mentioned it to him and he had acknowledged it yet haven't telt or seen any change and I just dont know if it'll work out. Like it's kind of hard talking to him now since he seems a bit more dry but when I bring it up he mentions that hes probably just tired which I competely understand but its been going on continuosly for two weeks and its very different from what I expected. I believe that he is a great person so I would like to continue to connect with him but I just don't really know if I should continue to consider him romantically so I'm asking for advice...Thank you so much!

I didn’t really know how to write that title but we’re rolling with it. I honestly just need to type a lot of stuff out.

I’m in a weird spot with a girl that I’ve known for almost my entire life. I’ve always had a bit of a crush on her. I was dating another girl for a while so it left my head and I did my best to really bury it. Near the end of my relationship I began to re-develop feelings because she’s just really easy to talk to. I’m riddled with anxiety and have struggled with it along with depression that I refused to admit to myself or anyone else. But since I’ve left my previous relationship she started asking me a lot of questions about how to end hers, since she was in an unhealthy situation. I did my best to help and I think that I may have accidentally talked her into breaking up with her boyfriend. Or she just wanted to hear the validation about breaking up with him. Problem is she told me that she had wanted to leave a while ago because of feelings that she developed for me were making it too hard. When she admitted to having feelings for me I wasn’t able to stop myself from saying that I had them for her too. We tried to think about we wanted to do and she eventually told me that she didn’t want to do anything since she got out of a relationship so quickly. She apologized for leading me on so quickly and I understood. Problem is I said that I did want to try dating if she was ever up to it, and she gave me a “probably” which I had no idea what to do with. Fast forward a few hours and I’m working and she suggests hanging out that night as more than friends. Smartly or not I say yes and we just drive around and talk. And man she was just so easy to talk to. I’ve never had somebody see through my walls I’ve been able to put up so easily. We talked about pretty much anything and everything. How our relationships ended, why they ended, work, sex, almost everything. During our talking she ends up laying on my chest and now I take that as a positive sign but is it even? Am I now just reading too far into that? She talked about how much she liked me just a few days ago but she also said she doesn’t know if she’s in the right mental space for a relationship right now. I’m inclined to let her figure out what she needs to do with her past relationship, but she also apparently just had makeup sex with her ex boyfriend and then said she regretted it because she ended up remembering why she left and said she wish she just called me instead.

I don’t know what to do here. I wish that we had just admitted feelings sooner and not foolishly stayed in relationships we didn’t want to be in. So yeah. And if this is the wrong place to write this just yell at me in the replies but I needed somewhere for this to go.

There's not much to ask or seek advice on, but I'm getting strange signals. We live close but we haven't met, she's definitely single, we've been messaging back and forth pretty much every hour of the day for the past few days, she's sent me photos of what she's wearing to a party and stuff, but sometimes I get some dry responses to things or big gaps between responses, but she's probably just busy (I hope).

Sometimes she'll react to something or respond to something and maybe 30 mins later she'll open the chat back up and send another message before I open the chat.

Little bit confusing, not super stressed because as I said we've only been messaging for a few days, anyone got any opinions or questions?

​

And you know what? There's actually a reason for that.

In a long-term relationship, you've spent years getting to know each other. You know each other's habits, behaviors, reactions, and ways of thinking. Of course, you can never know another person completely, but you usually have some understanding of what went wrong. You might still have questions, but at least you have something to work with.

But a situationship?

Someone gives you just enough affection to trap you in a spiderweb of emotions, but never enough consistency to make you feel safe.

And that's when the real nightmare begins.

You're confused. You're constantly searching for explanations. You're replaying conversations, analyzing their words, questioning their intentions, and wondering what the hell actually happened.

Did they want you? Did they ever care? Were they confused about their feelings? Were they just playing with yours?

And sometimes, you never get those answers.

Especially when the connection involved manipulation, emotional inconsistency, or someone constantly switching between affection and coldness.

That kind of experience can seriously damage your ability to trust people. In some cases, it can even contribute to lasting trauma.

And I'm not saying this can't happen in long-term relationships. Of course it can.

But I'm speaking to everyone who has ever felt ashamed because they recovered more easily from a years-long relationship than from a situationship that lasted only a few months.

You're not alone. And your pain isn't less valid just because the relationship was shorter.

You're not responsible for someone else's decision to treat you like a doormat. You're not responsible for their inability to communicate honestly or handle your feelings with care.

And please, don't measure your healing by how long you knew someone.

I'm saying this as someone who has been through a long, long healing process.

I wouldn't say I've reached the finish line. Sometimes old feelings come back. Sometimes your brain decides to be a little bitch for absolutely no reason.

But I'm doing so, so much better than I was before.

And if you're still somewhere in the middle of that journey, I genuinely wish you all the best. ❤️

I (16F) met “Jack” (18M) through a friend who’s part of my quinceañera court. At first, I thought he was incredibly attractive, charming, and sweet, especially compared to the other guys in my court. We made out that night, started talking, and eventually admitted we both wanted to date. However, Jack wanted to wait 7–8 months before making things official because, according to him, his previous relationships had been toxic and abusive.

I thought it was a long time, but I respected it.
Things changed when I was blackout drunk one night and he took my virginity. The next day, I told him I wanted a relationship because sex made things feel more serious to me. He refused, saying dating would complicate things because he’d grown close to my family and our mutual friends. However, he still wanted to have sex and continue talking.

I eventually agreed to keep things casual, with clear boundaries: neither of us could control who the other talked to, and he couldn’t treat me like his girlfriend whenever it suited him. He agreed, but then got jealous when he saw me cuddling with the mutual friend who introduced us (he was comforting me because Jack was ignoring me). He also got upset when I became friends with my ex, despite us not being together.

Whenever Jack got mad, he’d disappear for a week before coming back to explain what I supposedly did wrong. Meanwhile, he openly talked to me about other girls, including one he found extremely attractive and had supposedly “accidentally” hooked up with in a porta-potty (I later learned it was intentional and she had hooked up with many of my other friends also jack told me not to worry about her).

Eventually, we grew distant. He stopped texting and calling regularly but would randomly ask me to sneak out for sex. I always declined because I couldn’t sneak out at 3 a.m. Then, out of nowhere, he told me he’d love to take me on a date. I thought maybe he was finally taking me seriously, so we went back to constantly texting and calling.

Then he disappeared AGAIN.

A few days later, I texted him, and he replied with a picture of himself with a woman I later discovered was a porn star. I was genuinely hurt and left him on read. When I eventually apologized for ignoring him, we called, but he abruptly hung up and never called back. I later found out he was hanging out with the same girl he’d previously told me he found attractive.
That was my breaking point. I asked when he wanted his jacket back, drove it over, and dropped it off. Days later, he texted me jokingly accusing me of throwing it in the trash. I took it as an attempt to get back into my life, but I never responded.
Now I regret not replying. I miss him terribly, and despite everything that happened, I still love him and want him back. I also suspect he might be messaging me through alternate TikTok accounts because the accounts seem to know personal details and text like him, but I have no way of knowing for sure.(I’ve unfollowed the account because it was honestly weird that fact they were similar to jack)

how do i reach out without embarrassing myself? Is there any chance he genuinely cares about me, or am I holding onto someone who just liked having access to me without committing? I know how this probably sounds, but I genuinely thought we could have something real, and I can’t seem to let him go.

Also i’ve turned 16 in august, i was 15 when he took my virginity i was also black out drunk when he had intercourse (for legal purposes this isn’t real) and we only grew distant around September-October

A year ago, I had a two-month fling with a guy. At the time, he was really present: he would ask about my day, remember things I told him, respond to my messages, and find ways to see me. Then we abruptly drifted apart, we're hurt, and recently, after a year, he reached out to me again.

But he seems like a different person.

He brings up topics, but the responses are dry, he takes hours to reply, and shows almost no curiosity about me. Meanwhile, I find myself reading his research work, sorting through articles on topics he likes because I want to talk to him, remembering things he told me a year ago. I really want to know about his life, chat, share things. And I feel like I'm doing all this on my own.

And he insists on sending messages, wanting to meet up and start conversations, only to respond in a cold way?? We've been getting closer for a week but it's so different that it hurts.

What confuses me the most is: why did he come back? If he wants to talk to me, why does he seem so distant? Does he just like keeping that door open? I don't understand what he wants and why he can't just be honest.

I think I genuinely miss him. I don't know if it's love or affection mixed with longing... I dont know if you can love someone in two months and still feel the same after a year of no contact, I don't feel that wild passion, but it hurts a lot to realize that the person I miss is right there, just a few clicks away, and doesn't seem to want the same closeness anymore.

I wanted affection, attention, conversation, and the reciprocity I know he can give, not in the same way but at least a little bit. I can’t keep in touch with someone I like while pretending I don't want to know about their life. And I also don't want to keep trying to prove that I like him while I don't know if he feels the same.

We agreed to talk in person this week about a lot of things, of the past especially... but I'm tired and I don't know if I should keep trying or pull away.

I hate him for coming back... and at the same time I wanted him to stay!!! I told him that I dont us to message until the day of the conversation because the dry texts are making me feel bad...

We met online through gaming about four months ago. We became close through long gaming sessions, voice chats and regular messages. In July, I told her I liked her as more than a friend, and she said she felt the same. We talked about meeting once she’d moved house, but we hadn’t made the relationship official.

Around the end of July, several things piled up in her life: bereavement, moving, serious work stress and ongoing health problems. I’m keeping the details broad for her privacy.

We stopped gaming together, but we continued messaging throughout August. Her replies gradually became less frequent. When she did respond, she explained what was happening and said she tended to withdraw when overwhelmed. She also said she was barely talking to other people, so it wasn’t only me.

Her last messages were at the beginning of September. She apologised for being quiet, mentioned meeting me as one of the good things about her summer, and said she hoped we could catch up and make up for lost time soon.

That was just over six weeks ago.

Since then, I’ve made three attempts to reach out:

- After about two weeks, I checked in and asked how she was doing.

- A week later, I told her I still liked her and wanted to talk about becoming official when we reconnected. I’d originally wanted to say this over voice, but the uncertainty was getting to me. I said she didn’t need to answer immediately.

- Just over a week ago, I messaged on the platform where we first met, in case she hadn’t seen Discord. I explained that the silence was weighing on me and asked whether she could send a brief update, even if she wasn’t up for a proper conversation.

None of those received a reply. I haven’t sent anything since.

I care about her and believe she was dealing with a lot. What I’m struggling with is that our last conversation was warm and suggested we’d reconnect, while everything since has been silence. I also wonder whether bringing up the relationship while she wasn’t replying added pressure.

Would you leave the last message as it stands and stop initiating contact? And how have you handled letting go of an undefined connection when there wasn’t an actual ending?

TL;DR: We developed mutual romantic feelings through an online gaming friendship but never became official. After several major stresses in her life, communication slowed and then stopped six weeks ago; I’ve sent three unanswered follow-ups and need advice on moving forward without closure.

this man i’ve been seeing for the past almost 6 months on 2 dff occasion. occasion 1 ended bc he thought i ghosted him and that led to very heated disrespectful convo from my side where he just like stopped responding. occasion 2 we rekindled but i wanted to go back to what was and he didn’t. turns out he did like me but i gave off the impression i wasn’t into him so feelings subsided and he got used to being alone again. we agree to stop all intimacy and stuff but i confessed my feelings for the very first time that i did like him the entire time. both on the spectrum and we misinterpreted each other’s feelings and actions and believed the other was toying with us but it was the opposite. we take space anyway but he tells me that he misses me

last night he’s in my area and stops to see me. we end up resting together and yes had sex. right after while we are laying together he tells me about:

1- saw his ex of like 4/5 years like 2 weeks ago after they went no contact and he reached out to her to ask why she did that for closure i guess

2- told me about some old girl he was drove 4 hours to see every 2 weeks that he mourned

3- told me that it might not be a good idea for me to start dating around to get ober him bc im a sensitive person (i told him about how i was advised that to get over someone who doesnt wanna be with u its good to focus on other ppl)

4- said that all of his rejections from doing too much with women who didnt care led him to feel more empathy for womwn who are in positions with men who dont care about them (i was in that position as he said that)

5- ends convo telling me im a good listener and that i shld hike with him and his friends sometimes

of course i spoke on how crazy that conversation was and he tried to console me after but it did r do nothing tbh silently cried myself last night cried when he left this morning some tears here and there all day

so am i a cooked naive loser i feel like i have low self esteem now. i came back first the 2nd time around i felt rlly ashamed for how i reacted to him cutting me off but now im very regretful for doing so. said it already but this was the first time i ever confessed liking someone it felt very school girl ish but ir felt very fresh and exciting and now i feel stupid confusing a man missing me as his desire to be with me anyways

[F21] [M21] Friends since elementary school, now both 21 and ended relationships earlier this year. Started texting and flirting, agreed neither of us were ready, started talking and flirting again, hungout, he said he knows what he wants then had sex. Right after he said he wasn’t ready again. I said I felt used. He said it wasn’t that he didn’t want something with me he is just scared to ruin our 12 years of friendship. A few days passed and I expressed I was frustrated with him about everything and that maybe I need a break from whatever situationship thing was going on between us. He said he would give me space and then the next day unadded me on everything. This all happened over the course of 2 months. Did I just get played or is he just really trying to give me complete space?

I met a guy 6 months ago 27M while i was travelling and I we stayed in touch after i left the country and eventually got closer, regular calls texts etc. It was all too precious we flew to meet each other twice and it was the sweetest thing ever but lately its been really dry from his part and all I end up doing is overthink and be upset since his words havestopped matching his actions hell i don't even think there are words anymore. I have tried communicating it with him that i feel distant and i asked him if there is someone else in his life and he denied that and he just reassured me that nothing is going on and that i am still very important to him. After having conversations one should feel light afterwards but it doesnt feel like that for me. it only feels like he is talking to me for the sake of talking but i have more feelings than him as it shows.

But i am struggling to end it with him. Ive had issues breaking up with people and i saw a therapist due to it and i thought it got better but i still feel the same which makes me think im not ready to be in a relationship. I am just really scared of losing him as a friend because he is the one person who has always been there for me no matter what.

Can anyone help me with any advice please. How do you decide that its over and end it with people?

We met at a summer camp in August and kissed on the last day. She called me afterwards to ask if I wanted to see her again, that i seemed non interested on her, that i should text 1rst and since then we've talked daily for 2+ months (long calls on weekends). We live in different countries(3h by train)and haven't met since.

I asked about meeting up on an specific date and told her I like her.

She said: "I enjoy talking to you and I really do like you as a person, but just cause of all circumstances, I’d prefer to keep things exactly where they are right now :) "

She apologized for bringing up meeting so much herself, since she can't promise anything. She then explained that she does want to see me, but she's 17, her parents are strict, and she's going through a rough time mentally and needs to rest at home.

She says she does want to see me, but right now isn't a good time. She's been overwhelmed since moving, overthinking everything, and admits she's struggling mentally even though everything is technically fine. She needs to go home, see her mom, and have a calm week. Traveling to Barcelona would add stress: she'd have to explain everything to her parents and sister, and she worries they'd either not let her go out or call her constantly. Her dad also wants to travel with her, but she'd rather stay put. She'd like to postpone until things are more stable, and she ended by apologizing again, saying she does want to see me, just not now

(I dont understand, weeks before she even asked for my schedule to se when we can meet)

. She still talks to me normally as before. .

So i 17F really liked this guy 18M for a good while , it wasn’t that he didn’t know he knew from the get go. I was 14 he was 15 and i kinda slipped that i liked him and he said he wanted to see where it would go . However it became he cycle of he would date other girls but not me . Idk why I waited for him , he was the first boy i had ever felt strongly about. I wondered why he could date around but never asked me . With time i started to see through his excuses and i pulled away . On Friday it was his last day in school and graduation so they were shirt signings and all that. Mind you prior to that we talked less , so i wanted to ask him to sign his shirt but instead he asked my friend. He barely even knew her but yeah that stung but i wasn’t shocked anymore, thats when it clicked that it was never gonna be me . I made him out to be something he’s not but in reality he’s evil and has a huge ego . I am so mad at myself for letting this go on for 3 years.

John and I had an amazing connection from day one, with incredible chemistry and attraction. We spoke daily for about two months, and although we never officially became boyfriend and girlfriend, he repeatedly assured me he wasn’t interested in anyone else. He knew I wanted a serious relationship built on loyalty, and he told me he liked me and wanted to take things slowly.

Before leaving New York for a work trip along the East Coast to Florida, he started becoming distant. Less texts, slower replies, less of “i miss you” less of everything. When I asked if everything was okay, he explained that he was overwhelmed with work and that there were too many unknowns surrounding his trip and my recent divorce. I’m completely over my marriage and ready to move on btw. I was very communicative about my 1 and only ex, that i left cuz he cheated and he knows i have only 1 body too. Which he said was a good thing.

I told him I felt like I was the only one making an effort and was disappointed because we had Halloween plans and even matching outfits. He replied, “It’s not that I’ve meant to be in this situation, my life is very chaotic and I’m not saying those plans won’t happen if we still wanted to do that :( I have feelings for you.”

I didn’t respond because it felt like rejection. It’s now been 10 days since our last conversation. I miss him deeply, love him, and hope we can reconnect. He recently liked my Instagram picture and continues watching my stories, but we haven’t spoken.

Do you think he’ll reach out when he returns to New York? and that maybe we can start over and eventually have a solid relationship? I need some hope, but I’m afraid that his pulling away after I asked for reassurance means he’s lost interest.

I [27F] matched with him [28M] on tinder maybe two months ago. After a few weeks of talking we planned a date. His profile said he was looking for a long term relationship but he has made no real effort to plan a second date. We have been snapping every day for a month and he will say he wants to plan something and never follows through.

Is it worth continuing to "hope" there is anything going to come from this

So me, 18f, was recently told by a situationship [19m]that he didn’t feel mentally ready for any type of relationships due to his mental state (wanted some time for himself, low energy, barely out of the house). Of course, I told him that I respect his choice and to take all the time he needs and that if he ever needed to talk, then I would be here for him. The thing is, I really like him. Not even as just a dating option, but also as a friend. He was really sweet and lovely to hang out with and I want to get back into contact, even if we ended up as just friends. How long do you guys think is appropriate to wait before attempting to reach out again. Taking every advice you guys can give !!

I’m looking for honest advice from people who’ve experienced something similar, particularly men who’ve had a close connection with a woman that never quite became an official relationship.

I’ve known this woman for around a year. We met online, but over time we became a significant part of each other’s lives. We spoke practically every day, often for hours at a time. We shared personal things, supported each other, helped each other with various things and built a connection that genuinely meant a lot to me.

We also spent time together in person, including travelling to Japan together. There were moments that made me feel our connection was more than an ordinary friendship, and we sometimes discussed future plans involving each other.

However, she also said she was happy being single and wasn’t looking for a relationship. That left me confused because the closeness between us sometimes felt at odds with what she said about wanting to remain single.
I want to be clear that we were never officially a couple. I understand that spending time with someone, talking every day and sharing experiences doesn’t automatically mean they want a romantic relationship. I also accept that I may have interpreted certain things differently from how she intended them.

At one point, we went around two weeks without speaking, but she eventually reached out, and we started talking regularly again. That made me feel that, whatever our differences, the connection between us still mattered in some way.

More recently, we had a disagreement. Our last conversations ended badly, and she subsequently blocked me on multiple platforms. Now there’s complete silence.

I’m not pretending I’m blameless. I know I got frustrated, and I could have handled parts of the situation better. I’m also not saying she owes me a relationship or that she has to maintain contact if she doesn’t want to.

What I struggle to understand is how someone can go from being such a regular part of your life, sharing so much time and experiences with you, to cutting you off so abruptly.

Part of me wonders whether it’s anger, pride or ego. Perhaps blocking someone is simply their way of drawing a line and moving on. Perhaps the connection meant something different to her than it did to me. Or perhaps I’m looking for meaning in something that, to her, was never going to become anything more.

**My main question is: can someone block you in the heat of the moment because they’re hurt or angry, even if the connection meant something to them, or should I take being blocked everywhere as a clear sign that it’s over?**

Have any of you experienced something similar, especially when the relationship was never officially defined? Did the person ever reach out again after some time apart, or did you eventually realise you needed to accept the silence and move on?

I’m genuinely looking for honest perspectives. I’m not asking anyone to tell me she’ll come back or to take my side. I just want to understand how something that felt so meaningful can seemingly end overnight.

Me and my situationship just ended things but I don’t think it’s really the end. I 25M and she 23F started talking after she broke things off with her fiance of 6 years back in April of this year, initially neither of one of us were looking for anything serious just kinda going with the flow but after a couple dates we really began to click and develop feelings. Towards the end of May her fiance decided he wanted her back and came to visit her, after he left she wasn’t sure what she wanted and thought it was best if we didn’t hang out romantically anymore. But we stayed in contact and continued to be friends and still hanging out occasionally (working out together, ride homes etc). In June I ended up meeting her mom and her little sister and hand dinner with them twice. During this time we would always have talks about how she felt like she was leading me on and basically trying to sync herself out of what she was feeling, I would tell her not to fight it if we like each other than that’s all that matters. Towards the end of July she goes on a trip and goes ghost I don’t think to much of it because she’s not a good texter on trips, but a week before gets back she texts me that she’s giving the ex fiance another chance. The trip she took was to go to his cousins wedding with him, to say the least I was surprised because she did not tell me that where she was going (we are very up front with everything) I waited till she got back and we spoke in person and asked her what changed and why did he deserve a second chance? Her reasoning was she didn’t want to have a what if with him and he showed signs that he changed, She also said she felt we would’ve been better off as friends, I called her out and told her that was bs and that she was scared to commit to me. So the beginning of August we decided to end things there, but I developed real feelings for this person. We were always laughing together and everything felt natural with her and i knew the feelings were mutual. So I write her a love letter and leave it on her car, a week later we spoke about it but she didnt tell me how it made her feel out of respect for the fiance. Couple more weeks go by and I continue to write love letters cause they were helping me cope with no longer talking to her, I didn’t give them to her right away because I was trying to respect her choice but we still spoke whenever we saw each other. Fast forward to October 23F and her fiance aren’t together again so her and I are talking as friends again, we ended up talking a trip together and it goes great, going to the next week we were supposed to go to a market together but I get a text from her saying “we cant be friends, we have to much chemistry together” she decided to cut me and the ex fiance off because she doesn’t know what she wants and she doesn’t want to lead me on. She acknowledged that what her and I had was real and she likes hanging out and talking to me but she finds it hard to stick to her boundaries whenever she’s with me. We still follow each other on social media, she has some of my things and I some of hers and we told each other if we ever need anything we’ll be there for each other, and apparently she has a “source” who tells her stuff about me. I guess my question is do you think we’re done or is there a chance me and her work out in the end?

See we met literally 8 days ago im still in school they are not done with it as i was held back a year but thats asides the point see we met actually to smoke that was it like really she needed a smoke i was bored worked out we are a 20 min walk away from eachpther and somehow never met and we talked till 12 on sunday she enjoyed talking so much she invited me to her halloween party.

went into school monday tired asf and tuesday but then wedsnday came i had school but we met and she said lets drink i agreed and i didnt get home till 2 am thats so unormal for me to do but i was drunk asf had a mini hangover and she actually took me back to her house to her bedroom to help me sober up before i met my dad not that he would not put 1 plus 1 together but it was a brilliant night out and she said to me not that i asked but in the moment i probably hinted at it that she wasnt interested in a relationship but said shed go to the ball with me in my school.

After this i went to gym with her thursday and we got home late like half 10 cause we missed 2 buses we were meant to catch cause we spent so much time talking and didnt check our phones or anything but smoke and talk.

Friday we met again went gym then afterwards we went home did some jobs and she came over to mine we played games on my xbox talked about anime and laughed i even talked to one of her friends about how bad of a influence this girl was on me ive never done these things before we had good talks and walked up to the pub where we drank and played pool i met her brother got on well with him and stayed till it closed and she was cold i gave her my jacket and walked her back to my house where i told her to put on one of my warmer jackets so she wouldnt catch a cold she did and left her small jacket at mine we grabbed a bottle and drank in the park and really opend up to eachother untill her brother turned up and ruined it kinda but as i was walking her home she invited me to go abroad just me and her in januray new years.

I suppose what im asking is that what would this sound like to you if you heard this? I feel as if i should mention we both have adhd.