I'm doing some research and looking for screenplays that feature film language (TIGHT ON, TILT UP) but are also well written. Who are then, in your opinion, the absolute masters of the craft of screenwriting? What are the scripts that sizzle on the page? Especially those that suggest direction, whether written by a writer-director or not?

I am trying to show how mundane and repetitive a movie buff's life is. Did I succeed?

Comments, critiques and suggestions, welcomed.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1wTy6-zS4xDu7RZO1GXPiDgBwBAFKEAgJ/view?usp=sharing

Title

I received some feedback that my prose was novelistic and while fun to read, not what a screenplay is/should be. And that it would only hinder my success, as the story was strong, but those within the industry would give up due to the amount of prose.

Now that I am on my 5000th edit, I get it, a lot of the prose is not filmable, great for actor direction, or reading, but not filmable. So as I edit it out, now I feel the screenplay is almost...bullet pointed? with this, then this, then this, then this, etc. It feels like I pruned some of the flowers in my garden.

Anyone else have a similar experience? Did you keep pushing? Ultimately, I want what is successful (I plan a novel version of my screenplay anyways, so I'll get it out of my system then)

I have a scene where three characters start in different rooms in the same house and then meet in one room. I also have scenes where characters are talking as they walk from one room to another. How is best to format these please?

Title: The Rotunda

Format: Pilot

Page Length: 52

Genre: Political Drama

Logline: Swept into office after climate disaster, a young congresswoman caught up in the fate of a missing whistleblower must navigate family grief, buried trauma, and the ruthless politics of a nation on the brink.

Feedback Concerns: I posted an earlier draft a few months ago. This new draft has notes from StoryPeer and a free Blacklist eval (6 overall) incorporated, and just received a 7.

I feel like there’s a lot to like now with characters, setting and pacing. I think there’s one character that relies a little heavily on exposition and whose motivations remain somewhat unclear. I’m curious to learn if others share that assessment and whether addressing that is primarily what moves this from a solid to a recommendable script, or if there are other changes I should consider.

Link to script

• Title: Prediction Market
• Format: Short Film
• Page Length: 3
• Genres: Comedy?
• Logline or Summary: A young professional needing fast cash turns to Kalshi and ends up with more than he's bargaining for.
• Feedback Concerns: Does the premise feel complete at just 3 pages?

I ask because most management companies I've looked at in my research have the same email format, so I'm wondering if I can query managers whose specific emails aren't listed by simply plugging in that format. I don't want to do this, of course, if this is considered improper etiquette - is it?

Requesting any version. I loved seeing the remastered 4K release. Thanks.

Hey guys! Just looking for insight on how to best balance this type of pursuit?

I find myself getting lost in standup because of the community pressure and the instant gratification on stage. But then i'll be behind on my scripts and workshopping those because my focus is derailed by the standup / IG posting dopamine hits, it's not peaceful lol.

Then for financial stability i work at a commercial production/activation company as my day job, i get the chance to be around filmmaking a bit and that helps me remember to make things (short films etc). I also want to pitch a Tv show and be a showrunner so these skills will benefit me long term (i try to remember that when i feel stressed and when my identity becomes just being a producer).

Also just a personal note that i'm a christian don't want to pursue hollywood in the obsessive way, i just want to be able to make things and find joy and balance in my life, but the pressure and the culture make is hard to zone out the noise at times.

I guess just starting this convo to see if anyone can advise anything or relate about it? Also the weird identity traps of it all in entertainment? Like i just want to be known as a creative human not any of these weird titles and vibes.... lol....

I'm envious of screenwriting technique that favors the visual, especially as a procession of images, without resorting to literal camera direction. I don't have these chops myself. I tend to write everything that's going on in the scene and you, the reader, can put the camera wherever you want in your mind's eye.

The following passage is from NEAR DARK by Eric Red and Kathryn Bigelow. It's got mood, tension, character detail, and just enough modifiers and similes to enrich the imagery (voice). These lines appear on the page without space between, a method I usually attribute to Shane Black - abbreviated lines hugging the left side of the page and cascading down (in this case, the lines are not so abbreviated but the principle is the same).

Caleb twists a groggy face upward, lifting his lids. 
To see the sharp bladed rowel of a shining silver spur stuck against his throat. 
It is connected to a boot. 
Attached to a steamshovel of a leg in black jeans. 
Part ot the body of a strapping sinewy man with a mean, skullish face and eyes like dead meat. 
SEVERN VAN SICKLE

My tendency with a moment like this would be: "Caleb awakens to the sensation of a silver spur on his throat." But I love the stylized cadences of this NEAR DARK passage especially because we're getting the visual information piecemeal as we go up a guy's leg without saying "TILT UP to reveal" or "WIDER ON" etc.

I'm curious how many of you aim for this one-image-after-another effect. Does this approach to rendering a scene in detailed images seem self-indulgent or accomplished?

• Title: Grandsons of Liberty
• Format: Feature
• Page length: 116
• Genres: Action Comedy
• Logline or Summary: Britain won the Revolutionary War. 250 years later, an out-of-touch dad forms a militia to bond with his son.
• Feedback concerns: Enjoy! But also tear this apart. I want to be smacked down with words and taste my own authorial blood. Any and all feedback is welcome, from the trivial to the macro. Oh – and guess what? I am not above bribery. I hereby pledge my $2000 tariff dividend check (*once received) to the first user who can guess my identical BL scores, because 'Murica.
• Link: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1_qOfGC4UD9is4IVLci5m59d30HH7EMt5/view?usp=sharing

Anyone on here thinking of going as well?

I'm more of a tv writer and have heard this is great for networking but hesitant on going completely solo.