r/SalsaDancing • u/AlphaRomeo916 • 17h ago
I went to my first salsa class yesterday and it was scary and fun at the same time
I’m 28M South Asian, living in Philadelphia. My Ecuadorean friend invited me to a free salsa class and dancing in the city last night.
This was my first time going for something like this.
I’m usually the kind of guy who lives in his head and deals with serious things at work all day, and this was a complete 180 for me. I’m also musician and writer but dance has always been tough for me.
Still working on my rhythm and fluidity and it’s evident I’m not a dancer. Not yet.
And on top of that, salsa/bachata with its style of dancing with other people, that was a whole other level of difficulty. It’s one thing to dance solo mindlessly without a worry at a rave, and another thing to have a coordinated dance experience with another person.
Salsa made me feel very emasculated because every partner there was expecting me to be good at it, and I kept wondering if I was making people around me bored. Even though they said I danced ok, I could see all the other people dancing with advanced steps around me.
Being a decently good looking guy, I got a lot of interest from women, who indicated they wanted me to approach them.
I did ask out a couple of women and danced with them . I had to let them know from the start that I was a total beginner. They were understanding, but in my head I was wondering I was letting them down and not letting them have fun by just doing the basic steps.
There was this one girl I really liked, and I knew she liked me because her friend came up to me and told me I should ask her to dance. And I did. I don’t run away from my fears.
But man it was the scariest thing I’ve ever done in a while. Dancing with a beautiful woman that you’re attracted to, and who clearly liked me, but me stuck in my head about whether I was boring her with my dancing.
I flirted with her (I’m good at talking and writing to women) but there’s only so much talking one can do in a loud salsa bar. She was in the same vibe but I don’t know she wanted me to ask her number or anything. I wasn’t sure what the etiquette was, and I was also unsure if she was just being nice with me bcos we were dance partners. So I didn’t really much beyond a little flirting. And just kept dancing.
And eventually someone took her away from and the next 30 mins I had to watch her dance with “better” men, people who were natural skilled dancers.
Truly heartbreaking, which I’m sure it’s normal in this space, but man I was not prepared for that.
I know this is a forum for salsa and not about talking to women, but I don’t know where else to put this.
How do I get better at this? How do I get out of my head, as a beginner? What’s the etiquette on asking out a girl you like, while or after you danced with her.
Either ways I’m not shying away from this. Latin culture is something else. My boring nerdy South Asian American ass definitely needed that shaking to know how much fun life can be when you’re truly in the moment dancing. And how beautifully intimate dancing with another person can be.
