Hi fellow sahm’s, question to you all - Have you done pre-k or did you decide to keep your little one(s) at home instead? If not pre-k, what drove your decision to not put them in and how’s it going? I’m torn since 3yo is still so young :(. I’m having a hard time with the thought of sending my baby and also wondering how patient the teachers really are with a group this age? Any thoughts/notes from your experience would be appreciated! TIA

❤️** Saturday Spouse Appreciatio**n ❤️
A slower workweek for my husband meant we enjoyed our nightly two-mile strolls most evenings. ❤️
I wanted to wash the windows before the cold weather and holidays, and without being asked, he started taking them down and washing the outsides while I tackled the insides. So grateful for his help!
He also found time to leave the office for our son’s weekend competition, and we squeezed in a little hot dog lunch date on the road. 🌭❤️
It’s the little things that mean so much!

TLDR; my (unmarried) partner wants to be a SAHD for our first baby and I'm seeking advice about financial considerations, best practices, and logistics. 

First time mom with a question about stay at home parenting.

I (42F) am 4+ months pregnant with my first. My partner (38M) and I are not married. He was laid off about a year ago, in the meantime has gone back to school, moved in with me, and when we got pregnant (not trying), he volunteered to be a stay at home dad. I have a good job and more earning power, and when he was employed, his salary was less than half what mine is. My employer offers 4 months of maternity leave and after that I am planning to go back to work while he does the SAHD thing. 

We are both happy with this arrangement. I am curious what others in this sub think about financials. Obviously we're going to discuss everything and work out a budget and plan that works for us. But what should we be talking about and thinking about?

Currently, we live together. I pay all the household expenses and mortgage. (It's my house that I purchased before we met.) I pay all my expenses (car, student loan debt, etc.) and all of our food, meals out, and travel/fun expenses for things we do together. I do all the cooking and most of the cleaning, although he has pitched in more with cleaning since I got pregnant. I do not currently pay for his car insurance, phone bill, medications, his personal/fun money, or his meals out without me (when he is in school or at lunch with a guy friend, for example). 

He has offered to get a part time job to continue paying for his own car, phone, etc. after the baby comes. This doesn't feel quite fair in my opinion. If he is SAHD 5 days/week, I wouldn't expect him to hustle on the weekends to pay his own bills even though I'm paying all the other bills, the baby's and my own medical bills, etc. That said, my salary is good but I'm not loaded with tons of extra cash flow. I will be able to get by but I don't think I will have a lot of extra money laying around. My partner has good credit and no debt so thankfully his bills are minimal. I might be able to pay him an allowance to compensate for baby care but I'm just not sure about how much it would be at this point, not knowing what we will face with baby health expenses, diapers, etc., and not knowing at this point whether the baby will be perfectly healthy and all that. 

For now, we are focusing on the baby, but we plan to get married in a few years if all goes well. Because we are unmarried, we don't share bank accounts. 

Guidance? Advice? Considerations? Thanks in advance!

Hello all! I joined this group to receive some insight. I’m a stay at home mom to both our almost 3 year old, and 4 month old. My partner works a full time job and works 12/ sometimes 14 hour days 5 days a week. I know that his job is pretty demanding, and he’s a type 1 diabetic so he’s more tired than the average “healthy” person. But I’m starting to feel like he’s using that as an excuse to never help. He always tells me “I shouldn’t have to do abc because I just got off a 12 hour shift” or “this is YOUR job.” I am the one who takes care of everything. I cook, clean, and take care of the kids plus their appointments and etc. he demands I have dinner ready when he gets home or it’s an issue most times. The other night I didn’t feel well and asked if he could tend to our 4 month old. He got up and stormed off and started being rude. Now it’s to the point, he just thinks he doesn’t get to help. Not ever… I know he works but so do I and I rarely ever get free time to do anything. How do I address this? I’ve tried to before and got told I’m just complaining abd my life is pretty good etc. I was never complaining about my life. He just genuinely thinks he doesn’t have to also be a parent.

Husband and I (29M, 29F) got into it last night because I was so tired after putting our youngest to bed(8 months), I just showered and hung out in the living room with my husband and 3 year old for about 30 minutes before deciding to go to bed. They were both playing video games. We allow our 3 year old to play Mario on the switch for a little before bed. I told my husband I was going to sleep and that he should put our three year old to bed pretty soon because his bedtime was coming up in like 20 minutes. Then my husband says okay to that then tells me that I’m not gonna go to sleep, I’m just gonna be on my phone instead of hanging out with them. I proceed to just keep walking away because I had no energy to explain to him that I really was going to sleep. (Unlike me, I’m an over explainer)
Well as soon as I put my phone to charge and my head hit the pillow I fell asleep. (Which is also so unlike me)
30 minutes later I hear our youngest crying on the baby monitor. I call my husband he answers and I tell him baby is crying can you go get him. He then says “reallyyyyy” I said “yes really, I was already sleeping” he says “you’re gonna have to come get our oldest” then hung up. the rage that I felt in me when he said that. I was so upset because
1.) he could have just brought our 3 year old to me or told him to come to the room I was in. 2.) our 3 year old should’ve already been in bed
3.) my husband went to bed the day prior to this about 3 hours earlier then we usually go to bed. And guess what. His sleep was not interrupted. I was able to put baby to bed by myself without having to wake him up. He probably go to sleep like 10 hours that night. Which is great for him. I love that for him. But why can’t I go to bed one hour earlier than we usually do without it being interrupted. On top of that I’m the only one that wakes up with our kids if they wake up at night. Our three year old does not regularly wake up like our 8 month old does. I do wake at least once a night with our 8 month old still. Lately baby has been waking me up 2-3 times a night. So it’s been rough on my sleep. I rarely ever go to sleep early. I haven’t done that in so long I can’t remember the last time I did that. Pretty sure it was when I was pregnant. My husband goes to sleep many hours earlier at least once a week. Back to the story.
He goes to put baby back to sleep and comes into to go to bed and I just start telling him that I was so sleepy and I don’t understand why I can’t go to bed earlier without being interrupted. He said that he didn’t know I was really sleeping. I said I literally told him I was going to sleep. He said that I always say that and I don’t actually sleep. Which okay I’ll give him that. But I don’t say ima go to sleep. I’ll tell him ima go lay in the other room alone for a bit. But this time I actually said I was going to sleep and I even told him I was so tired.
Things escalated to him telling me things back about how he helped me with dishes and baby bottles so that I can relax and I tell him that it’s not help. It’s his responsibility as a dad and a person that lives in this household to do dishes and wash baby bottles too. I got so upset I was just telling him that our 3 year old should’ve been sleeping already and if he had put him to bed at his bed time then he wouldn’t have had to wake me out of my sleep to do it for him. And that I just don’t understand why I don’t get the same luxury as him to sleep uninterrupted. And he just kind of exploded in his own way( he’s a chill dude so it’s a very calm explosion) and just started talking to about all that he does and honestly I don’t remember all that he said. But I do remember that he just escalated things instead of defusing. It annoys me that he matches my energy instead of just recognizing that I am exhausted from being with two under 4 allll day and night. Like please help me and don’t add on to my plate. I don’t do well without sleep and he knows it.
Anyways I recognize I was doing too much and so I ask him for a hug like 30 minutes later and he’s not really allowing it at first, then he gives in and we hug it out and I apologize and then he does too.
the. Today I call him at work and he asks me why I’m in a mood all the time. Like can you please put two and two together. I’m tired bro. Plus I feel like we haven’t been arguing all that much. The last time we argued was in August so it’s been a good while.
He makes me feel like I can never have feelings. And he’s told me before that he doesn’t understand why we have to have feelings conversations.
( he was raised by a single mom of two who never talked to him about feelings and never showed any feelings but happy and sometimes anger from what he tells me)
I feel like I am ruining his life. Sometimes I feel like I gave him responsibilities that he was not really ready for or wanting.( I know this isn’t true because we tried for two years for our first child) but sometimes he’ll make comments like if he didn’t have me and the kids he’d buy himself a really nice sports car and he’d have so much money saved and he’d be living with his mom still, basically living his best life and me and my kids are not in that best life version and that makes me sad.
I didn’t ask for things to be this hard with two kids and I understand that it’s just the season we are in but it feels very lonely.
I literally have no one to help me watch them even for a couple hours. My mom passed away 5 yrs ago and my sister lives in another state. My mother in law lives in another state as well. The one aunt that would help me with my first once in a blue moon has had a medical thing going on lately so of course I’m not gonna bug her and leave two kids to her knowing that she’s also struggling.
It’s just hard
I recently stopped taking ashwaghanda and that was helping my anxiety and depression but I had to stop because it was making my stomach hurt so bad.
I’m sure no one is reading all the way down here but if you did. Thank you. Thanks for reading my rant.

Unexpectedly became a SAHM a little over a month ago when I lost my job. I wanted to be home so this was a blessing in disguise and although we were on track to get to this point in a few months, the rapid change was a surprise to me!

My son is 14 months, just starting to walk and down to 1 nap and we finally got into a solid routine in our days! My husband works from home 1-2 days a week and is in office the other days.

My days feel significantly harder when he’s working from home! I feel like our schedule is off, I’m constantly reminding him to shut the bathroom door when he’s done so my son doesn’t get into the toilet, I’m always chasing my son down the hall because he just wants to see dada!

It’s really no fault of my husbands, he helps out when he can take breaks from work and isn’t necessarily adding to my plate - it just feels like so much more on these days rather than when he’s in the office!!

Hello everyone. I'm a young (20s) first time mom to a precious 2 year old boy. He is on the autism spectrum and is very demanding at times, but I love him all the same. He has very low sleep needs, so he's down to napping 30 mins to an hour a day, sometimes no nap at all (and when he does manage to get an hour long nap its a true blessing). My husband works in a hospital checking in patients and taking down their information for the hospital.

Lately, he has been playing Dungeons and Dragons with his guy friends and he generally stays out for the entire night (until 10:30-11). It doesn't happen too frequently, but I'd say about 1-2 times a month.

Last night, I got horrible food poisoning and was alone with our son and husband was out playing DnD. I was able to hold it together until I finally got my son bathed, his teeth brushed, and put him to bed. Then I started throwing up repeatedly, stomach was in horrendous pain, I got a high fever really fast, and peed all over myself from how intense the vomiting was. My nose started leaking bloody boogers from how hard I had vomited. I told husband all of this, and he said "we're almost done here, we'll wrap up". I had asked him to please bring back some Gatorade and to try and make it home soon. It took another hour and 15 mins until he got back. By then I was almost asleep and having to nurse my son back to sleep again (working on night weaning but its been hard and last night was not the night to try it).

My husband was out from 7:30 AM (for work) until 11:00 PM (he went to play DnD immediately after work).

Then, this morning, my husband slept in, leaving me to feed the cat, and take care of our son for the morning/make breakfast.

I am just tired. I'm sad that my health doesn't seem to matter. Sad that my husband couldn't care to notice how rough last night was for me. I'm just venting, I don't think there's much to do in this situation.

Anyone have a husband with a low sex-drive? I’m 26 and he is 34 and it feels like he’s always been this way. I just wish that he would give me more than a peck on the lips occasionally throughout the day. I want him to desire me and have hunger for my body. He doesn’t try to learn to make me orgasm either. Whenever I bring up the topic he acts like I’m attacking him and it makes me feel bad.

This is the only part of our marriage I’m scared will never get better. He works construction so his excuse is how he is stressed and tired all the time. I’m a stay at home mom with 2 kids as well.

I feel lucky because he’s never had an issue with 🌽or looking at other women because of his low sex drive. He comes straight home to us after he gets off work and never goes out or drinks. That’s the only benefit of all of this. I guess I’m just wondering if anyone else is in the same boat as me. I just want to feel desired and sexy again.

I’m a first-time mom to a 15 month old, and lately I’ve been struggling so much with staying home all day. I’m wondering if there are any other moms in the same situation because I honestly feel so alone in this.
My husband works Monday through Friday. He leaves around 7 a.m. and doesn’t get home until 6 p.m., so I’m home alone with my daughter pretty much all day until she goes to bed. We only have one car, which my husband takes to work. We can’t afford a second car right now, although he’s hoping to get one for me soon.
We used to share a car without any issues before we had a baby. My husband’s old job also allowed him to work from home twice a week, and on the other days, he would usually be home around 4 p.m. But since he changed jobs, our whole routine has changed, and I’m really struggling to adjust.
The other issue is that we live somewhere where there’s practically nothing within walking distance. I can go outside, but there’s nowhere to actually walk with my toddler for more than five minutes before I’m next to a highway. I don’t have family nearby, and I can’t just take her somewhere to get out of the house.
When she was younger, staying home wasn’t nearly as hard. At 2, 3, or even 5 months old, it felt easier to get through the day. She slept more, and entertaining her wasn’t as demanding. Now she’s 15 months old, has been on one nap a day since around 9 months, and is awake for such long stretches. I’m expected to fill those hours every single day, and I’m running out of ideas and energy.
I try to follow a Montessori-inspired approach at home. We read books, play with open-ended toys, and do activities together. We don’t really do screen time, either. I know there’s nothing wrong with using TV, and I’m not judging anyone who does. But I’ve put this pressure on myself to keep her entertained without it, and sometimes I feel like I’m making things harder for myself.
I feel like she’s getting bored at home, too. She spends so much time in the same environment, walking around and doing the same things every day. I feel terrible when I think about how repetitive her days must be, even though I know she’s still little.
And honestly, by the time my husband gets home, I’m exhausted. Once she finally goes to sleep, I have absolutely no energy left to do anything for myself. The whole day revolves around keeping her entertained, fed, and happy, and then I go to bed and do it all over again the next day. I feel like I’m losing myself a little.
I know I chose to stay home with my daughter, and I love being her mom. I’m not saying I regret it. But I also think there’s a huge difference between being a SAHM who can put her toddler in the car and go to the library, a park, story time, or even just run errands, and being a SAHM who is literally stuck at home all day with no transportation and nowhere to walk. Getting out of the house can break up the day so much, and I feel like I’m missing that option entirely.
I don’t want this to sound like I’m complaining about my life all the time, but this really is my reality right now, and it’s hard. Some days I feel overwhelmed, isolated, and honestly just sad.
Are there any other moms who are home alone with a toddler all day without a car or anywhere to walk? How do you get through the day? What do you do with your toddlers at home without feeling like you have to constantly entertain them? And if you’ve been in this situation, how did you cope with the isolation?
Even hearing from someone who understands would help. I would really appreciate any advice, ideas, or just knowing I’m not the only one who feels this way.

I hate parks. But today I thought it was a beautiful morning so I took my son to a small neighborhood park. A good neighborhood park. But very small.

The moment we got there and settled on a bench to eat snacks, a man in all black came walking up and I just got a bad feeling in my gut. But I talked myself out of it and he said good morning and so did I. I figured he’s just stopping to get a drink of water and will keep walking. He was probably mid 40s. It’s 10am Thursday morning.

Well he did. He walked. Around and around and around and around the VERY small playground. In a loop. Where my son was playing. And we were alone. The playground is 2 slides and a 5’ long little walkway. That’s it. This man was just circling us like a shark.

I’m 5’3” 120lbs. I have three grocery bags of food from our brunch picnic and my purse and three drinks and toys and a bunch of shit. We had just gotten there.

This man proceeded to walk slowly around us in circles and every single time I looked up at him, he’s looking directly at me. When I say this loop/playground is MAYBE 60’ in diameter. It’s not like this man is getting his steps in or keeping his heart rate up. He wasn’t dressed for a run. He wasn’t sweating. He was acting like a predator.

Well. Then this mf sat down on the swing. My 2yo son could throw a stick and hit him. That’s how close the swings are. He’s just looking at us.

I knew if I told my son it was time to go it would make it very obvious I saw him as a threat. I wanted him to believe I was oblivious and not scared.
My son would be beyond pissed and wouldn’t come willingly if I immediately told him it was time to leave. So I called my sister and loudly told her we were on our way so the man knew someone was expecting us shortly. And so my son would get excited to go see his cousins. She stayed on the phone with me until we got to her house.

By the time I walked the very short distance to my car and threw my son in the back seat (didn’t even buckle him I just drove a couple blocks then strapped him in I was so beyond freaked out, this man was tall and could have easily and quietly ran up behind us), I turned around, and the man was fully gone. Gone. Swing still swaying.

I’ve never felt so unsettled and sick in my life. I’ve been in shit before alone, but never with my son. Never just fully without a way to defend myself.

So this is just a PSA. My parents told me I shouldn’t have put myself in that situation. It’s 10am in a neighborhood park. What? No. HE shouldn’t have put ME in that situation.

I have been putting off taking a firearm safety class. That’s happening. Self defense class is happening. Sister ordered us brass knuckles and punch knives and gun tasers. I am just so done feeling unsafe. In that moment, I’m the only line of defense for my son.

What is my fault is not being prepared to deal with a psycho. What is my fault is I’ve let this man shred my nervous system and pretty much ruin my day. But next time I won’t be caught feeling that helpless. Scared? Maybe. But not helpless.

That sucked and I don’t want any other mom to ever have to feel like that. Be safe. And don’t question your gut. If you feel unsafe, get out of there. Have someone you know will answer your call. Things do happen. And thank god nothing happened today.

First of I just want to say I just need to vent somewhere about my husband who thinks I am doing nothing all day. My day starts at 7:30am when I either wake up first or my toddler does, after that I change diaper plus brush teeth and give milk plus a banana while I make breakfast for the day. Once we have breakfast @8:30am I clean up toddler and the kitchen. 9-10am we play, have snacks and when the weather is nice we go to the park or outside to play, 11-12 we have our lunch and I clean up after lunch too and @ 1-4:30pm is nap time for the toddler and I lay down with toddler until falls asleep and while my toddler is napping I like to have a time for myself and I’ll take shower and then lay down because that’s the only time I get to lay down and relax. When husband gets home I’m in bed laying down and just watching videos or sometimes sleeping and my husband gets angry with me because I’m not doing any of the house chores that’s been building up. Just three weeks ago I did deep cleaning for bathrooms,master bedroom and living room but because of the round ligaments pain I choose to stop the deep cleaning for a while to try to not make the pain worse but the pain just getting worse as the weeks goes by and the house chores have been put on hold but my husband doesn’t agreed with that because I’m home all day so I should still be able to have time to clean no matter what. I made me super annoyed with my husband because he doesn’t help much with the toddler but wants me to do all the clean up in the kitchen, laundry, house chores and taking care of a toddler while he gets home and relax on the couch with headphones on watching stuff on his phone while I make dinner, clean the kitchen and then get the toddler ready for bed. When does all that stuff just stop because I’m really getting tired,stress and annoyed that I’m only one taking care of the house chores and the toddler.

Sorry my words are all over the place but I’m just so frustrated and annoyed that all my hard work is not enough according to my husband. He think I can do more than just making breakfast,lunch,dinner plus clean kitchen after every meal and have to entertain a toddler.

https://www.thetalkhub.com/ if you want to talk to anyone you can click the link. This is just to vent like you would be speaking to one of your friends

WEEKLY FAMILY MEAL PLAN
Monday – Sunday
Dietary Preferences
Adults: Lactose-free dairy
Mom: Gluten-free when possible, fewer grains
Child: Gluten-free whenever possible

MONDAY
Breakfast (Adults): Protein bars
Breakfast (Child): Gluten-free muffins with monk fruit

Lunch: Grilled cheese sandwiches and carrots; lunch meat and cheese roll-ups as a grain-free option

Dinner: Ground beef and onion stroganoff with noodles or vegetables

TUESDAY
Breakfast (Adults): Protein bars
Breakfast (Child): Gluten-free overnight oats

Lunch: Leftover beef stroganoff

Dinner: Teriyaki chicken stir-fry with fresh onions, carrots, frozen vegetables and rice

WEDNESDAY
Breakfast (Everyone): Scrambled eggs with sautéed onions, breakfast potatoes and strawberries

Lunch: Ham and lactose-free cheese roll-ups with carrots and strawberries

Dinner: Creamy chicken and caramelized onion pasta with vegetables

THURSDAY
Breakfast (Everyone): Scrambled eggs, gluten-free muffins and strawberries

Lunch: Homemade chicken, onion, carrot and celery soup with optional gluten-free noodles

Dinner: Homemade Spaghetti with Ground Beef and Fresh Onion Tomato Sauce
Regular spaghetti or gluten-free noodles
Extra meat sauce and vegetables instead of pasta for a lower-grain option
Lactose-free cheese if desired

FRIDAY
Breakfast (Adults): Protein bars
Breakfast (Child): Gluten-free muffins and fruit

Lunch: Grilled cheese sandwiches with caramelized onions and fruit; grain-free roll-ups as an option

Dinner: DINNER OUT

SATURDAY
Breakfast (Adults): Protein bars
Breakfast (Child): Gluten-free overnight oats

Lunch: Chicken and vegetable rice bowls with sautéed onions

Dinner: Homemade hamburger vegetable soup with onions, carrots, celery, corn and optional gluten-free noodles

SUNDAY
Breakfast (Adults): Protein bars
Breakfast (Child): Gluten-free muffins and strawberries

Lunch: LUNCH OUT

Dinner: Oven-roasted chicken with onions, seasoned rice and glazed carrots

SUNDAY MEAL PREPARATION
Muffins — Two Batches
Batch 1: Gluten-Free
Gluten-free flour substitute
Monk fruit sweetener
Lactose-free ingredients as needed
Batch 2: Traditional
Regular all-purpose flour
Regular sugar
Lactose-free ingredients as needed
Breakfast & Snack Preparation
Homemade protein balls
Overnight oats with certified gluten-free oats
Portion muffins and protein balls for the week
Vegetable Preparation
Dice fresh onions for spaghetti sauce, stroganoff and soup
Slice onions for stir-fry and roasted chicken
Caramelize onions for sandwiches and pasta
Chop carrots and celery
Wash and portion strawberries
Freeze unused chopped onions

WEEKLY NOTES
Adults have protein bars except Wednesday and Thursday.
Use lactose-free dairy in shared meals.
Prepare gluten-free pasta or bread as needed.
Offer vegetables instead of rice or pasta for lower-grain meals.
The package of bacon is available for another meal or breakfast.
Prioritize fresh onions and other produce.
Use leftovers for lunches to reduce food waste.

Chatted with a mom at the library today that has a daughter the same age as mine and who is also pregnant and due the same month as me. Our girls played together super well and I’m kicking myself for not asking for her number as I was leaving.

Part of me just felt like it would be pushy considering we had only met like half an hour before, but now I don’t know if we’ll cross paths again because she said she doesn’t often get to the library for community events.

We’ll keep going so hopefully I cross paths with her again, but in the future - would you just ask on the first meeting or wait until you see each other a couple times?

So right now things are pretty tight, budget-wise. We’re moving and expenses are adding up quick. Plus my visa renewal to stay in the country was pricey. My husband and I have zero shared bank accounts and he has a credit card. I don’t have one since I have no income to pay for one. Sometimes he sends me money on pay day but not always. When I had Mat pay he rarely did but he did not ask me to contribute to bills. I do the small every few days shops, pay for Spotify and our kid’s needs like clothes, diapers, toiletries and my own toiletries. I try to buy most of the stuff I can on Vinted or super cheap on Amazon. But as a person who’s been working since I was 15, it feels weird to leave the house with no money. I’ve always been super independent. Leaving the house with nothing makes me feel vulnerable. I had to borrow money from my mom when my suitcase broke while I was visiting her this summer because I had nothing on me. I know my husband is strapped for cash so I’m hesitant to ask but is this something I should expect as a SAHM?

I can’t get it out of my head. He’s a good guy and loves all of us but we’ve been considering me leaving my very well paying marketing leader career to stay home with the kids because I genuinely want to. We’ve been discussing it for the past 1.5 years. It was so hard sending my daughter to daycare & now with my mat leave ending with baby #2 I really want to stay home with them. It’s definitely the “harder” job caring for them but it’s so fulfilling and worth it to me. I love my kids and long to be with them. Especially in these early formative years. I believe it’s important.

We can financially live off my husbands income, he’s on board now but when we were discussing it all, I felt like he was initially very anti. He would say how our daughter is advanced because of daycare. She is developmentally very advanced but I feel like I should also get some credit for that? He also once expressed that it was maybe selfish of me to step back from work because I make so much money & can provide more opportunities/freedom for them (& him lol).

He has a stable job that is super chill. He works from home and has a lot of freedom - golfs, sleeps in, plays video games, walks etc. he helps around the house and with the kids when it makes sense to but I honestly think that he likes my income because he (&we, generally like nice things). He fell in love with me as a corporate woman who is smart, driven, dressed up lol. I changed a lot when I became a mom and i think some parts of that have surprised both of us.

I’m just worried if I do this that he won’t respect me the same or see the value of it. I fear if I do return to working like I was (60 hrs a week) that I will present him for the bougie leisure life he lives while I am in survival. This phase is hard either way, staying home is not the easier option but it’s worth it to me. I wish he could see the value in that. Has anyone else faced this?