I have four kids, ages 2, 4, 7, and 9, and I love them dearly. But I have absolutely no desire to spend the next 15 years reminding everyone to do things they're perfectly capable of learning to do themselves. I have other aspirations in life, thank you very much.

One thing I've brought from my years of coaching and developing adults into parenting is a pretty simple approach: teach, practice, give feedback, and praise. I think we sometimes expect kids to become responsible because we've told them to be responsible. But telling someone what to do and actually teaching them to do it independently are two very different things.

For example, I want my kids to take responsibility for their dishes. So instead of just telling them to wash their dishes and then getting frustrated when they forget or don't do it well, I teach them what that responsibility looks like. We practice, I give feedback, and I make a point of recognizing their progress. Over time, I step back and give them more ownership.

And I'm not just trying to get clean dishes out of the deal, although I certainly appreciate those! I'm trying to raise people who understand that everyone in our family contributes to making our lives work. That's something I want them to carry into adulthood, not just something I need them to do before bedtime.

Now, does this mean nobody needs reminders anymore? Absolutely not. They're children! And the amount of support each one needs varies based on age, development, and what they're learning. But I want to be intentional about helping them become more capable, not just getting better at telling them what to do.

What's something your child has learned to take responsibility for? And what did you do that actually helped them get there? I'd love to hear the teaching part, not just the end result.

I'm dating this guy, we been together for about 8mths and he has a kid that's a 11 year old boy. My question is, Is it okay to have ur child sleeping in the bed with u and ur gf sleep on the couch when the lil guy is at the house? Like he has no structure with the kid, all the kid does is play on the game all day, he doesn't know how to do the basic things a 11 yr old boy should know how to do .. he procrastinates around telling him the things that he needs to do and give a direct decision on the things that can matter less.. at a cross roads right now what do I do ? Cause when something is said to him about the situation he nuts clean up, like everyone else is buggin🙎🏿‍♀️🤷🏿‍♀️

I (F33) extroverted married a 40M introvert. We met when I was a teenager in the army and have been together ever since. Our personality differences weren’t a big deal before kids. I was able to go out with friends and take vacations without him while he was able to game and be alone as much as he wanted. We’ve always spent a lot of our time in our relationship independently. But now that we have kids it’s really causing a wedge. He just doesn’t have the social battery to do all the stuff with the kids. And honestly it seems like he doesn’t want to. I have a golden retriever personality and thrive on social connections. I’m also currently a nanny (basically a stay at home mom in someone’s else’s home) so I’m not getting my needs fullfied through work nor do I have time for meaningful time with friends. He works from home and spends all his free time gaming or doing house chores.
He’s a good person but the fact that he’s such a homebody has really affected our marriage. I feel so lonely and it seems like most of our kids core memories are going to be just me and them because he would rather stay home. I can’t go back to work because we can’t afford childcare so I’m stuck as a nanny until our 2yr old is in kindergarten and I’m just really struggling with our marriage. Most nights after we put the kids to bed he goes to his office to game and I’m left in the living room alone. I can’t remember the last genuine laugh we shared. Every night I go to bed alone sometimes without even saying goodnight. And almost every single weekend he stays up too late then sleeps in while I deal with both kids for 2-4hpurs while he’s sleeping.
He’s also a combat veteran so I’m sure the ptsd is affecting him too.
I know he needs his alone time but I also need a partner that wants to spend time with me.
I don’t want to divorce. My parents were never married and my step parents were awful so I can’t do that to my kids. But I’m just so lonely in our marriage.

Parents that married the opposite of yourselves how did you make it work?
How were you both able to compromise your own personalities to come together?

Am I nuts to spend $300+ on a stroller wagon when realistically it’ll be for 1 kid and a couple years? I imagine my 5 year will want to jump in once in awhile but ideally it’s not long term for them to ride in. I spent the summer babywearing and schlepping up grassy hills 4 bags, large umbrella, water bottles, cooler, etc to the fields. Am I missing something obvious to do this in a better or is an expensive stroller wagon THE way? Especially since one of the top features is it actually being all terrain makes the cost so much higher. And if it is what one are we buying??

Thanks!!

What is your favorite bike for your kids, my 4 year old has a strider balance bike but is lut growing it, hes had it since 1. I am looking for good quality ans something that'll last a few years. We arent doing training wheels just going from balance to pedal. I am looking at getting a guardian bike or another strider, price isnt really a problem if it is good quality and will last a few years. Great warranty is even better. Thanks

My husband’s family hosts a huge thanksgiving every year with over 80-90 people attending. This is the first year that we are bringing our 6 month old baby. She was born premature and had some issues with breathing in the beginning which makes me so concerned about her getting passed around to tons of people and possibly getting sick. All of his family are very excited to see and love on our baby but I would feel much more comfortable keeping her with me. I’m afraid of sounding like an asshole when people ask to hold my baby and I say “no” What do I do? How do I politely decline family holding my baby?

I’m basically trying understand if I am being the issue, or my parent.

Bedrooms sure, personal style and taste can be applied and furnished accordingly. But what about the living room? Should a parent govern the entire structure even if certain elements might make others in the household uncomfortable.

I’m highly sensitive to sunlight, that’s why I’ve got all my windows practically blacked out, but my parent loves sunlight, therefore going to the living room and even eating is very uncomfortable to me when surrounded by light. I try to eat as quickly as I can. I feel on edge while eating. That’s why I’ve stopped eating at the same time as my parent and only asked them if I could hang curtains for 20 ish minutes while eating alone at the dining table, and they refuse. (We don’t even have curtains in the living room. There’s one in the spare bedroom no one uses. So I asked if I could put them. The shade of the curtains is not an issue, but apparently it’s a foot too long and drags a bit on the floor. I said I could get them tailored but they still refused).

This is just one of the examples by what I mean by making little tweaks for the environment to be more hospitable for everyone.

Edit: There has been comments saying something in the vain of whoever pays the rent/mortgage decides. The house has been passed down to us through family. So my parent has never paid rent nor mortgage for this house.

Hi everyone,
We live in a country in Europe where winter cold has settled in again, and my wife and I are at our wits' end. Right now, our daughter is dealing with a nasty cold, and it feels like a never-ending cycle.
Where we live, from mid-October (like right now) all the way through mid-February, the temperatures drop significantly. During these 4 months, it feels like every single child at kindergarten and primary school is constantly sick. One virus passes, and another one immediately takes its place.

My wife and I were talking the other day, and a thought crossed our minds: what if we relocated to a warmer region during the winter months while our daughter is still in kindergarten? For example, somewhere like Spain or another mild climate area in southern Europe.

Our reasoning is that milder temperatures and more time outdoors might reduce the heavy viral load that spikes here every winter, giving her immune system a chance to strengthen without being constantly overloaded.

For parents who live in milder/warmer climates (like Spain, Portugal, Southern Italy, etc.) or parents who have tried seasonal living/moving: How are winter colds and kindergarten/school viruses in your area? Do kids still catch everything back-to-back, or is it genuinely easier?

For those who moved or spent winters in warmer climates: Did you notice a real difference in your kids' health and overall well-being during the winter?

Any advice or reality checks? Is this a smart idea while she's still young, or are standard kindergarten viruses simply unavoidable no matter where you go in the world?
Would love to hear your experiences and honest thoughts!

What is your advice for us?

Mum to a 2.5yo and a 4mo.

There is not a second of the day that I’m not feeding, changing, preparing bottles, making food, giving someone a nap, doing laundry, doing housework when I get a sec, driving to appointments, planning meals, attempting to be present and play with them both.

All I see is parents chatting about Halloween activities or cute crafts or inventing games and honestly my entire waking life is spent physically doing something for the kids. HOW do you fit in all the extra fun?

We recently went on holiday with them both and my husband and I both worked 24/7 to keep on top of the childcare and chores while attempting to give the toddler a fun holiday. We’ve never been so busy in our lives. HOW are other parents so chill and not stressed? How do you make it look so easy? What am I missing?

Hi everyone,
My son has recently been waking up at around 5 AM every morning, and I’m trying to figure out how to get him to sleep a little longer.

His current schedule is:
Bedtime: 8 PM
Wake-up: Around 5 AM
Nap: 12:30 PM – 2 PM
The frustrating part is that he starts crying when he wakes up at 5 AM, and I’m worried he’ll wake up the baby next door.

I’m not sure whether I should move his bedtime earlier or later, adjust his nap, or try something else entirely. No matter what, he seems determined to start his day at 5 AM.
Has anyone dealt with this with their toddler? What worked for you? Did adjusting bedtime or nap time actually help, or is this just a phase?

I’d really appreciate any advice or suggestions. Thanks!

3 y/o son keeps saying Alexa ( speaker ) hits him and he slaps himself in the face he’s scared to be in the same room as Alexa why is he doing this

I’m afraid that what he sees today are cats and dogs that are not real cats and dogs. That what he sees on the screen is not real. That he sees strawberries hat are not real. That the cats and dogs hugging a grandma on the screen and the basket full of whatever is not real. And soon it will be a basket of some fruit that ai created.

Soon enough (and it already is) the videos and everything he sees online will be a fake recreation of reality.

How we as mothers or fathers can protect our children from the fake reality that’s all around us from believing that what they see may not be what really is.

From a very concerned mom.

I work night shift. My husband works an 8-5. When I am gone at work my husband leaves our daughter alone for hours downstairs while he plays video games upstairs with headphones on. He’s been doing this since she was 3 she is now 4. I’m pissed. I do not do this. Am I overreacting? Am I being a helicopter parent?

My 1 year old has recently started to nag, whinge or cry almost all day about everything. She was such a calm, content baby until she turned 11 months old and she just seems to never be satisfied or happy no matter what I do.

Am I doing something wrong?
I respond to her needs, I play with her sometimes, I take her out, I’m not sure what else I can possibly do to make her happy.

Is this just a developmental thing?
Am I not letting her do enough of what she wants?
Am I being too controlling or selfish?
I’m trying to take care of my own needs while caring for hers too and I just don’t always the capacity to do what she wants.

I’m so tired of feeling like nothing I do is enough or constantly feeling guilty if I have to take something away or say no, or put her down when I’m tired, or put her into the car or into the pram, or do the dishes, literally anything and she cries.

It’s like she wants my undivided attention 24/7 or she isn’t happy, but I am only 1 person. I can’t give her my attention all of the time.

Thanks in advance.

I have a 2 yr old and a 4 weeks old, they are almost exactly 2 years apart. I thought I wanted all my kids (4 max) to have a similar age gap but, I’m fighting for my life.

I love being a mom but I’m just overwhelmed. So is the close age gap worth it for when they’re older? Is a 3 yr gap better? Opinions and experiences appreciated 🫶

Hi there, I’m just trying to figure out a plan for our Son before I start work again in December. We initially started by combo feeding him as a newborn and then went down to one bottle of formula or EBM daily. Then, at around 4 months, he refused bottles altogether. We tried different types, and made sure I was out of the house or far from him when he wasn’t overtired. Still refused. So, I began to exclusively breastfeeding for two months.

Our little guy is a great eater, he enjoys having solid foods! He eats three meals a day and drinks some sips of water with a straw cup. I’m still nursing first thing in the morning and then every 3 or 4 hours for naps and bedtime. We are up to once or twice at nighttime for feeds.

My question is coming as we approach my return to work at 12 months postpartum and him starting daycare the week after… my three year old was still taking bottles to go to sleep at this point. I spoke with a Dietitian not too long ago, who suggested I don’t need to reintroduce a bottle to him. My Husband and I agreed we will need to introduce a new method for naps and bedtime as I’m a shift worker, and some weeks I’ll be working either days or evenings.

Any help or advice is encouraged. Thanks!

My husband and I have recently decided we aren’t having more kids, simply because we are so content with our son. No desire for more. He’s turning 2 soon.

How are you doing?

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Io e il mio compagno abbiamo due lavori full time molto stressanti, io inizio alle 7.30 e torno alle 17/17.30, lui inizia alle 9 e torna alle 18.30 e stiamo letteralmente arrancando.

Da un mese mia figlia ha iniziato il nido ed è stata quasi sempre malata con conseguente caos organizzativo.

Tra lavoro, cura della bambina (che è un tornado) e faccende domestiche non ci fermiamo mai e siamo stressati come non mai.

Non abbiamo grandi aiuti: due dei quattro nonni lavorano ancora, una nonna ha problemi di salute e l'unica rimasta quando può si rende disponibile ma essendo molto anziana più di un paio d'ore fa fatica a seguire mia figlia.

Chiedo consigli per sopravvivere a chi c'è passato/ci sta passando.

Grazie

"We love them all the same" - is it real or bullshit?

I need honest answers, please.

EDIT: I don't mean "there are times when I prefer one over the other". I mean genuinely, all the time, is there a favourite? Your kids could be 1 to 50+ years old for all I care

Curious where other parents stand. Do you keep your little ones completely away from internet-connected devices (tablets, phones, smart toys), or do you allow some? What worries you most about it, and what would you want instead?

My LO is 7 months old and his bottom front teeth have started poking through. At the same time he has decided that he wants to eat me at all times. The best is when he grabs my hair and pulls my face into his and “bites” me. Before the teeth poking through this was slobbery but fine now he’s like a little piranha. He tries to eat my face, my hands, my clothes, everything. We have a ton of different teether toys he is fine with them but would rather eat me. Just wondering how long this lasted for most people?

Being a parent is the most expensive, exhausting, unending, demanding, thankless undertaking that a person can decide to do in their lifetime without question.

That being said, for most parents it is deeply rewarding, fulfilling, purposeful endeavor that they happily shoulder because they chose to become a parent and are fully aware of the sacrifices involved.

My question for discussion is have you met or are one of the parents that complain all the time about being a parent? As in, they truly weren’t aware of what it means to be a real parent and the resources needed? How are so many people so oblivious to the demands of parenthood?

Hello fellow parents. I’m wondering how you all are managing your children’s eating habits.

Some initial background, I grew up overweight, I’ve continued to be mostly overweight my adult life although I’ve made improvements. I know that my personal experience with food is manipulating how I see my children’s eating habits.

Our son is 6. He’s fit and active, but he eats A LOT. We provide healthy meals and have very few limits on how much he can eat at dinner, but some meals he’s chasing carbs or when we get take out, he’ll really pack in the food during those meals. Like I said, we’re pretty laid back and mostly let him eat to his heart’s content, but I do wonder if we should be putting limits.

Like veggies, obviously no limit. And we do already limit condiments, but if we’re eating BLTs should he be allowed to have 2 or 2.5 adult size sandwiches? I really want to avoid the same food shame I experienced, so I try not to make any comments, but I’m just wondering. How are you handling your children’s food intake?

She turned one recently and I am still completely exhausted from the whole weekend.

We did a Winnie the Pooh theme because my mom had those exact books when she was little, so it felt really special. But the actual party was pure chaos. By the next morning, all the balloons were popped, the decorations were torn apart by the kids, and half the cake was smashed straight into the rug.

I spent three days scrubbing icing off the floor. The only thing I saved from all that mess was the little paper invite my mom hand-drew for her.

I didn't want it getting shoved into a junk drawer and forgotten, so it ended up becoming a fridge magnet for our kitchen. Now I see it every single time I go in there, which with a one-year-old is like 40 times a day.

It's just nice having one sweet little memory from the day that didn't get completely destroyed