It is Day 357 living with cancer, and this morning, a stranger reminded me what it means to be human.

After pumping gas into my car, I noticed a man experiencing homelessness walking past me.

We made eye contact.

I reached into my wallet to see whether I had anything to give him.

I had a couple of $20 bills.

I kept $20 and gave him $20.

Then I opened my trunk, grabbed a bottle of Poland Spring water, and handed it to him to stay hydrated.

After we parted ways, he waved at me and I drove off in tears.

Here are two humans, both struggling to survive, standing in a gas station parking lot.

He is struggling with homelessness and I am struggling to stay alive.

Our circumstances are profoundly different, but our humanity is exactly the same.

I did not have a lot to give him, but I had enough.

In that moment, I realized how much more I had than he did.

I am a disabled human living with stage iv pancreatic cancer.

Look, I know my statistics and that many people diagnosed with my disease are no longer with us.

This cancer growing inside me is trying to take me out, but I refuse to concede.

There is something deeply humbling about fighting for your own survival while recognizing that millions of other people are fighting battles that never make the headlines.

I think about this when I look at our increasingly divisive political environment.

We spend enormous amounts of energy debating our differences, yet I wonder what might happen if we devoted more of that energy, creativity, and financial resources to helping people navigate life’s most difficult transitions.

Homelessness, unemployment, underemployment, disability, healthcare, education, etc.

Two strangers with different circumstances and different struggles with the same fundamental need for human dignity, connection, and opportunity.

Perhaps this is why I have devoted so much of my professional life to helping people navigate career transitions.

In one hand, I carry deep pain when I see someone’s potential go unrealized.

On the other hand, I become incredibly energized when someone rediscovers their confidence, embraces a new opportunity, and begins moving forward again.

A transition is rarely just about changing jobs, finding housing, or confronting a diagnosis.

It is about preserving someone’s humanity when life becomes unexpectedly difficult.

Generosity is not measured by how much money we have.

My take is that it is measured by what we are willing to share.

We all have responsibilities to our families and friends, but our communities are filled with people whose struggles are just as real, even when their stories are unfamiliar to us.

I cannot cure my cancer today and I cannot solve homelessness with $20 and a bottle of water, but I could help one person standing in front of me.

I did not have a lot, but I had enough to share.

And sometimes, being human means recognizing that someone else’s struggle matters more, even when you are fighting for yours.

Hi everyone. I’m writing because I’m feeling completely heartbroken and desperate for advice. My dad is 68 and was diagnosed with pancreatic adenocarcinoma in 2024. He underwent chemotherapy, a total pancreatectomy/Whipple procedure, additional chemotherapy, and radiation after a local recurrence. Despite everything he’s been through, we learned in August that his cancer had metastasized to his liver. He’s now hospitalized with a gastric outlet obstruction. An endoscopy revealed a gastric mass, and the biopsy confirmed invasive adenocarcinoma. He’s been experiencing significant nausea and vomiting, and currently has an NG tube for decompression. He’s also severely malnourished, weighing approximately 100 pounds, with a BMI of 15.4. His oncology team has told us that he’s no longer a candidate for chemotherapy due to his poor performance status (ECOG 4), malnutrition, and overall condition. They’re recommending hospice.
What makes this especially heartbreaking is that my dad has expressed that he still wants treatment and wants to live. He hasn’t given up, and neither have I. I’ve asked about TPN because he hasn’t been able to receive adequate nutrition, but his team hasn’t offered it. I understand that TPN won’t treat the cancer itself, but I keep wondering whether nutritional support or relieving the obstruction could help him regain some strength.I’m struggling to accept that after everything he’s endured, there may be nothing more we can do.
I’m hoping to hear from anyone who has experienced something similar.
Has anyone’s loved one developed a malignant gastric outlet obstruction after pancreatic cancer surgery? Were doctors able to place a stent or perform a bypass?
Has anyone received TPN in a similar situation, and did it meaningfully improve their condition?
Has anyone been told their loved one was too weak for further treatment but later saw improvement after addressing an obstruction or another complication? Would you recommend seeking an urgent second opinion at another cancer center, even at this advanced stage? I understand how serious his condition is, and I’m not expecting miracles from strangers on the internet. I just want to make sure I’ve explored every reasonable option before accepting that there is nothing else that can help him.
My dad means everything to me. I’m not ready to lose him, and I would be incredibly grateful for any experiences, advice, or guidance.
Thank you for reading. ❤️

Feeling devastated and helpless.

15 Days ago my dad(61) got diagnosed with pancreatic cancer stage 4. We immediately went to the best hospital in my city for treatment. They did all the tests again and it took around 15 days since the hospital is always crowded with patients. The process was very tiresome. Standing in the long queues. Spending whole day in the hospital for few tests. But we somehow managed it.

Yesterday we finally talked to the cemo oncologist. He saw all the reports and said cemo is not feasible. If we do so it will adverse his situation. Also onco said my dad will not be fit for the cemo. The cancer has spread in multiple parts of liver and cancer cells are also seen abdominal cavity. There are large amount of ascites in abdomen which keep coming back if we drain them. Also he has lost significant weight. Bowel movement obstruction issues are there. Lower abdomen pain.

Although he is able to walk normally and is not feeling significant weakness. But the doctor is saying like this. I know that stage 4 is the most advanced stage but I believe cemo still possible in this stage even if the cancer has spread in other organs. I think the doctors don't want to treat my father. They are just giving up on him.

I don't want to give up no matter what. I don't know what to do from here so that he becomes fit for the cemo since palliative care will only help him with pain relief. It won't help with the enzymes part. If we don't do anything the cancer will grow more and it will be impossible coming back from that.

This morning my father past away at age 58. Since he was in the process of pushing everyone away, the only person that was able to be there for his final moments, was his ex second wife. She was the last he listed as his next of kin with the local hospital before his passing.

He had a long history of drug abuse, mental health struggles, and narcissism that led him to be controlling and aggressive, especially towards women. He was a difficult man to love and care for.

I was planning on sending someone to do a welfare check on him since I didn't hear anything from him or anyone that he recently visited, since last month, which marked a year since his diagnosis. I had mentioned that it's unlikely he'd make past a year and the rate he was pushing us away someone was going to find him dead in his basement. Even last night I felt strongly that I needed to vent to myself in the mirror about how much he hurt me over the years and how hard it was to deal with him pushing help away, wasting my time, energy, and patience. At the very least I want him to know despite everything I still loved him, and wished for his God would grant him mercy on his soul...

It's going to take awhile to process...

Dean was diagnosed with stage 4 pancreatic cancer five months ago. He received 7 rounds of chemo. He passed at home on October 10th after 2 days on hospice with a failing heat, a failing liver, and a staff infection likely from an earlier paracentesis. He was 65.

I wanted to share some things I had known going into this experience. This disease moves so fast. One day his oncologist said his numbers were too poor for treatment and he should get a blood transfusion, less then 48 hours later he was so weak he could barely communicate. There’s so many things that got left unsaid because everyone is balancing being hopeful with being realistic. Especially when someone is struggling with their own diagnosis. Looking back when the doctor says to get your affairs in order, I wish I knew there was more to that than making a will and giving someone the code to your safe. I wish there were long detailed talks about hospice and the difference between doing it at home or in a facility. That a clear decision needs to be made ahead of time. I wish my father clearly understood what is expected of his loved ones if he chooses at home hospice, because there are definitely major pros and cons. The same goes for doing it at a facility. I wish I would have had a better understanding of what it was going to be like at his bedside, when he had lost the ability to talk but was scared to die. That what you are interpreting as pain, could be fear. I wish we would have had time to talk about where he wanted his ashes spread. There’s so many things that I feel should be discussed right after diagnosis, just in case. Here’s a small tribute I wrote for my dad… technically my step dad…. But my Dad

Dean I’ve been trying for days now to find the words, but every time I try, I stumble.

Sometimes, life is just far from fair.

You spent your entire life doing things the right way. You got up early and went to work every day for 40 years. You followed the rules. You did everything a person is supposed to do. You were kind, thoughtful, and patient. You were the most even-keeled man I have ever met.

You were also the first person I’ve ever met whom I have literally never heard anyone say anything bad about. I’ve never heard you say a bad word about anyone who wasn’t a politician or a bad driver. That says so much about the kind of person you were and the way you treated everyone around you.

You had a calming presence about you that made people feel at ease. You brought a sense of consistency and steadiness to life that is rare to find. You were the kind of person people could count on, the kind of person who never needed recognition for doing the right thing. You just did it.

You went out of your way to help others. I’ll never forget when you gave me a 1987 Chevy Malibu that you had just bought because you knew I needed a car. You didn’t make a big deal out of it. You just saw an opportunity to help.

You took care of your mom through her final days, even while you were fighting the battle of your life and barely had the strength to do so. You kept showing up for the people you loved, even when you were hurting. Because that’s who you were. You put others first, not because you wanted anyone to notice, but because that’s what came naturally to you.

Of all the countless meals we shared, one thing always stayed the same: you made sure you were the last one to eat. You always made sure everyone else was taken care of first. Being selfless wasn’t a choice you had to make. It was simply who you were.

And that’s what makes this so hard. How does someone who spent his entire life doing things right, loving people well, and making life better for everyone around him have to endure something so cruel and unfair?

Thank you for the love you showed my mom and our family. We are so lucky to have gotten to call you ours. I promise to learn from your example and carry it with me: your patience, your kindness, your steadiness, and your instinct to put others before yourself.

And I am so grateful that, in the end, I got to be there for you the way you were always there for me. I only wish I could have done more.

To everyone who has fought, or will fight, beside someone battling cancer, please know that you are not alone. There is a bond between those who have walked that road together that is difficult to explain unless you’ve lived it. It’s a road filled with heartbreak, but also with a kind of love that changes you forever. To everyone who has walked it, my heart is with you.

It’s a relief to know that you are at peace, that somewhere, there’s a starry night and a light summer breeze. There’s laughter and love gathered around a campfire. And a cowboy is sitting there, playing his guitar.

Here’s a link to a video tribute

https://www.facebook.com/share/v/19s95vC9Sb/?mibextid=wwXIfr

Chatgpt tell me this is a kras wild type. If so , what is the next step? Go forward with germline , msi or rna mutation. But if this will cost us more money in vain. No access to daraxonrasib as we are not American. Thank you

Hey all,

My father (65) was diagnosed with PDAC in February 2026. It was found from juandice, and they thought it was Stage IIB at the time. He underwent 6 rounds of chemo but with multiple breaks due to infections from the bile duct stent they had to put in.

His last round of chemo was in early August. He was supposed to have the Whipple done on Sep 17, but when they got in there they found mets on the liver. Doc did some rerouting of his biliary system to prevent further infection, took a biopsy of the leision on the liver, and stitched him back up. He just started Rasonque this week.

He's barely eating at all, my mother has to make him eat. We're hoping the Rasonque helps him get back his appetite, but wanted to know if anyone had experience with this/something that helps? He's also on Cymbalta for depression and to help with his neuropathy in his hands he's had since starting chemo.

It's just so heartbreaking to see my formerly jolly, silly dad become this shell of his former self, I'm really hoping for some resemblance of that before the end comes.

Sorry for the rant, just needed to let this out

F cancer.

Thanks, A concerned son

The EMA’s CHMP recommended EU approval on October 15, and apparently the European Commission is going to fast-track the final decision.

Really hoping this means European patients will get access soon. The next hurdle is national reimbursement, though, and that could still take months. Fingers crossed things move faster than usual - for many of us, time really matters. 🤞

Update: Had my third post-chemo CT scan yesterday (first diagnosed stage 4 with Liver mets in March 2026) It shows no new reduction in the size of the tumors, so it seems like the Fulfirinox regimen is still working, just not as well as it once was. Now we continue treatment, and wait until the tumors start growing again, at which point we will have to look into other treatments, such as the new Daraxonrasib. It could be two months, or even two years! We just won’t know til it happens. Statistically speaking it likely won’t last that long. My cancer is still inoperable and will end my life, I just don’t know exactly when. Thank you all for your prayers and good thoughts. I wish I could spend time with you all.

So Friday I (53M) has MRI that showed atrophied tail and a mass at the other end. Today I had an ENDO that showed the mass was a tumor and now I'm waiting on that. In the last 3 years I've been diagnosed with Diabetes, Congestive heart failure, COPD, and polycythemia vera. I have a wonderful daughter and 4 awesome grandkids. But I am so tired. I dont know why im here really...just wanted to be pissed off. Have a great night

The surgeon did the diagnostic laparoscopy and confirmed liver met my mom has lose the option to have this horrible thing removed from her body and thrown out.

I’m feeling dizzy and tired idk how to tell me mom about this when she comes out of surgery.

Someone please help!

My mom is the only family I have. She lives with me and my four year old daughter. My daughters father was recently arrested and my Mom completely declined so rapidly. She was fine just a month ago. For the past 2 weeks she was vomiting. Urgent care insisted it was a stomach bug or gastritis. They ordered labs and sent her off. I knew something was off and so I called 911 finally. The following day an NG tube was placed, two days later TPN. Today I got the call it is pancreatic cancer, stage 3 or 4. Will my mom ever leave the hospital? I don’t know how to prepare for any of this. Any support is appreciated. This is the most devastating year of my life and I don’t know how to process this.

Update:

1. Newly diagnosed pancreatic adenocarcinoma, locally advanced/unresectable with suspected peritoneal carcinomatosis

“biopsy-proven pancreatic adenocarcinoma involving the pancreatic neck/body, measuring approximately 4.5 × 4.9 cm, with extensive vascular involvement including occlusion of the distal superior mesenteric vein and proximal portal vein, and infiltrative soft tissue extending along the superior mesenteric artery and celiac axis to abut the aorta. Imaging additionally demonstrates multiple peritoneal and abdominal wall nodules highly suspicious for metastatic implants, with associated small-volume ascites. Collectively, these findings are consistent with anatomically unresectable pancreatic adenocarcinoma and probable stage IV disease (cT4, cNx, suspected cM1).”

She is scheduled for surgery tomorrow for a gastrojejunostomy.

Hi. It’s the first time I (25yo) write this. My dad (63yo) passed away on July 26th. He was first diagnosed back in May, the same day as my birthday… Since then I feel I’ve been living a nightmare, everything went downhill so fast.

He went to a normal doctor’s appointment for discomfort while eating, he was wrongly diagnosed with parasites and he got medicine, with this he lost 14 pounds in 10 days. The day of my birthday they confirmed stage 4 PANCan. They explained to us that it was almost impossible to detect it since his tumor developed in the tail of his pancreas, however he had a 10cm mass (which makes me wonder why he never had any sign if he had a huge mass) that invaded his spleen, stomach and colon, in his and multiple metastases in his liver (6cm, 3cm and 3cm), his lungs, and peritoneum. We went to 5 different private oncologists and all of them told us the hard truth… however with my mom who’s religious I decided to keep faith in that he was gonna be a miracle.

Everyone told us with palliative chemo he would have 6-12 months so it was time to make peace with everyone around him. He went through 3 infusions of FOLFIRINOX before my worst nightmare happened. JUST 3! I decided to pause my work in Germany for an indefinite period of time, took the first available flight and was his number one supporter. The mental struggle has been real. I went back for 3 weeks to Germany to catch up with work, because my dad told me he was gonna fight this!

After these 3 weeks I had to fly back home immediately because I felt it was coming, after his third chemo he stopped eating and couldn’t stand up anymore. That day he started morphine, and it went downhill. He was admitted into the ER with kidney failure, the doctors told us it was gonna be more painful for him to keep going through dialysis so they sent him home into hospice. As soon as I got there my dad had a talk with me telling me that he’s in peace with the idea of passing and that we as a family should also be prepared for it. The next 3 days I was his caregiver 24/7, I was the one to inject him with pain medication, and helping him to seat every hour of the night because he had this feeling that his body was burning from inside. When my mom went to the airport to pick up my brother who came due to the situation, my beloved and dearest dad passed away.

My mom and my siblings couldn’t say goodbye to him for 20 mins… I was the only one to comfort him. Those moments feel like a nightmare, however I remember I didn’t cry at all and my goal was to tell him in his ear how much I loved him, how caring he was and that we tried everything, but now he can rest in peace. I hope he was able to listen to those words. Now it has been almost 3 months and the grief I feel has been drowning… Next Monday of him passing away I received his mutations results where they just confirmed KRAS mutation as an opportunity for alternative therapies, so even I know it was impossible for him to be an exceptional case I prayed from the moment I woke up to the moment I was in bed.

Life feels so unfair… he never drank, smoke or had bad habits. I wonder why these awful things happen to good and caring people. I miss him every day and it’s really hard to think how to continue life without him… so far away from my mom. Is it gonna hurt this much forever? Sometimes I have moments where I have panic attacks because I realize my dad is not here anymore and I also think I would have switch places with him not even blinking once… all his pain, I would have prefer to have it by myself and protect him… I would give everything to see him or talk to him again for just 5 minutes.

Hello, i just found out my mother probably has stage IV of pancreatic cancer, she can't eat properly and lost 10kg in 2 months. Tomorrow I'll learn if the tumor has reached the liver too or not. Tomorrow she will start chemio but I can't take it to see her destroy herself with such cure. I just want her to at least eat again more and regain weight. She is only 50 and I'm 20. Each time she eats solid stuff she can't digest it because of the pain. She will surely wont be able to remove the pancreas right now because of some veins close to the tumor, I can offer to take my pancreas instead in case.

Mom (88) was diagnosed in March of 2026 after several hospitalizations and ER visits for abdominal pain. She has tumors to her liver, adrenal, thyroid and lungs but the lungs may be synchronous. In any case, she’s been relatively functional and pain free for most of the past 6 mos. With hospice support. Then heard about daraxonrasib. Started last Tuesday. Severe GI upset, 2 hours of diarrhea per day, no energy, too tired to do the skin care, too weak to do the oral hygiene. It was awful. Said she was suffering too much last night and decided to re enter hospice. I’m very relieved she’s going to be more comfortable. I know it’s new, but I still think her care team should have suggested that it may not be effective for her, given her age and advanced disease and her overall condition. I’m thrilled to see this wonderful advancement help so many, but it’s definitely not for everyone. Thanks so much for putting your experience out there, you have no idea how helpful it has been and I wish you all happiness.

My grandmother is 84, stage 4 breast cancer, spread to her brain. She has brain cancer. She's not getting any cancer treatment right now. Lately she's had worsening back and shoulder pain, weak legs, trouble walking, and some vision loss. Pain medicine. What timeline do you expect for her to live for ?

I had an ultrasound and MRI for epigastric pain last month. The imaging found that my gallbladder is full of stones and I have two cysts on the neck of my pancreas (lobulated 4.4 cm and unilocular 1.1 cm). After another gallbladder attack landed me in the hospital this week, a GI did an EUS/FNA. The GI wrote that the larger cyst had a few compartments thickly septated. He couldn’t see the outer wall. He took out 20ml of fluid from the larger cyst. The cyst’s glucose was over 100, its CEA was under 1, and its amylase was in the 30s. The cytology listed glandular/mucinous cells and included a differential diagnosis GI epithelium vs mucinous cysts. It also contained squamous cells.

I had a surgery consult today and the surgeon thinks that the cyst is either an MCN or an IPMN. He recommended removal based on the MRI. He said that the GI who did the EUS could not tell if the cyst communicates with the duct and advised that the fluid levels are irrelevant. I’m unsure on how to proceed because I thought I’d have clarity on the type of cyst it is before any next steps were proposed.

I’m in my 40s with young kids. Wondering if anyone has any similar stories or advice for navigating this.

Hi everyone! My (32f) dad (63m) is scheduled to start Rasonque this week and I wanted to make him a care package to help feel supported through the next step of his journey though pancreatic cancer. I heard the skin side effects are the particularly difficult so I was wondering what would be the best things to include to help him with this? Thank you all in advance!!

My mother (64) was just diagnosed last week with pan can. It is locally advanced at least, as there is local lymph node involvement. Her next steps are another round of ct scans to the abdomen, pelvis and chest with contrast before meeting her oncology team the next day. My father had lung cancer 10 years ago and as soon as he was diagnosed, there was a full body pet scan to see if it was anywhere else. Is this not typical with Pancreatic cancer? Why a ct scan to check for mets instead of PET?

Hi all, there's been a lot of heavy news here lately, so I wanted to share something on the lighter side for anyone who's newly diagnosed and scared.

How it started: I was diagnosed with stage IV pancreatic cancer (spread to liver, ovarian and distant lymph node) in August 2025 at 36. I had abdominal pain and lost 30 lbs, dropping to 82 lbs. I was on round-the-clock morphine and Creon just to get through the day. I have a germline BRCA1 mutation, which ended up mattering a lot for my treatment options.

What I've been through:

12 rounds of FOLFIRINOX (Aug 2025 - Feb 2026): My primary tumor shrank about 85%, my liver mets cleared, and my lymph nodes went back to normal.

Olaparib (Lynparza) maintenance (Mar - Aug 2026): This held things stable for a few months, then my August scan showed progression.

Now: Gemcitabine + Cisplatin (Sept 2026 - current): Day 1 and Day 8 infusions, then a week off. Honestly, I'm tolerating it really well so far.

The part I want newly diagnosed folks to hear: my pain went away after I started chemo. As the tumors shrank, I came completely off the morphine and the Creon. I didn't think that was possible when I was at my lowest.

What's keeping me going:

- I work out 5 days a week (spin, weights, hikes), then take 1-2 rest days before starting again

- I walk every single day to get some sun, even on chemo weeks

- THC helps with my appetite and my workouts, no shame

I know my story isn't everyone's, and this disease is brutal. But there are good days and good stretches, and sometimes the treatment works better than the statistics say it will. Advocate hard for yourself, ask about genetic testing, and look into trials early.

Sending love to everyone here fighting and caregiving. Hold the line 💜

My mum has too much pain in her intestines. The doctors said it is normal because there is air trapped. Everytime she moves, or tries to go to the toilet, she screams in pain. We are taking heavy drugs for pain management with the help of palliative care. We also feed her through her port. The pain though is too much. She feels her intestines will explode. Anyone has any advice ?

My mom was recently diagnosed three weeks ago after being admitted to the hosp for jaundice. Textbook, reading all your entries it seems. While in the hospital they’ve discovered enlarged lymph nodes in her chest as well as stenosis in aortic vessel in abdomen.

Trying to get clarity/answers from her myriad drs and specialists has been a nightmare. The appt we have waited for from which all other appts would come (we were told) was a sham, the pancreatic surgeon said she hated when the drs told patients that. She couldn’t do anything before the pet scan and essentially had no answers. When asked about stage she responded ‘probably three’. Chastised my mom for not reading and fully comprehending her pathology report. Said she’d have to have two rounds of chemo plus surgery and not once did anyone mention chemo to my mom. Only surgery and that it looked promising.

Then someone voided her pet scan. No answers there on who or why or when. Then the pathology report itself said ‘suspected adenocarcinoma’ and the dr can’t really do anything w the word suspected. So it feels like we aren’t even at step one yet, meanwhile thru a cat scan at the er the other day bc she now has pneumonia, they found the tumor has grown.

Time is so very critical and my siblings and I would like her to get a second opinion from Sloan or Dana Farber (and two others who’ve been recommended). But my mom says no. She will be the one to call about her body. Our point is that we will help get the ball rolling while she chases her current (useless) doctors. And she of course has not made these second opinion calls yet. So we just have to sit and wait. And it feels like we are running out of time.
Any insight/info welcome. Thank you.