I was out buying something from my local market when I saw something that genuinely disgusted me. My neighbour was walking ahead of me, and as we both passed an uncle from our neighbourhood, I noticed him looking her up and down. As she walked past him, he even turned his head slightly to look back at her. The way he was looking at her was genuinely uncomfortable to witness.
Now, this man is considered a very respectable person in our neighbourhood. He is a retired government officer, participates in community activities, presents himself as a religious and pious man, and contributes to the betterment of our neighbourhood. He also has daughters of his own, all of whom are married or of marriageable age.
And yet, here he was, staring at another man's wife in a way that made me deeply uncomfortable. She is a mother, she was dressed in ordinary Eastern clothing, and she was simply going about her day. Of course, what a woman wears should have absolutely no bearing on whether she deserves respect..
What disgusts me most is the contradiction. How can someone be so invested in appearing religious, attending prayers and community gatherings, and maintaining a respectable public image, yet seemingly forget the most fundamental principles of decency when it comes to women? What is the point of all that religiosity if it does not translate into basic respect for other human beings?
And the fact that he has daughters of his own makes me wonder like would he be comfortable with another man looking at them the same way? Would he consider it acceptable if someone treated his daughters' presence in public as an opportunity to stare at them? If not, why should another woman be any different?
Experiences like this are exactly why I get so frustrated with religious hypocrisy. There seems to be so much emphasis on outward displays of piety, religious identity, and public morality, but far less willingness to question the behaviour of men who fail to practise the very values they claim to uphold. And when it comes to women, the conversation so often shifts towards their clothing, their modesty, and their behaviour rather than holding men accountable for their own actions.
I saw a post earlier by someone explaining why they no longer identify as an ex-Muslim or atheist, and although I can understand their perspective, I personally still take pride in calling myself an ex-Muslim.
What frustrates me is that Islam is often presented as one of the most conservative religions when it comes to women's modesty, morality, and the sooo called respect afforded to women. Yet, in practice, I keep seeing situations where the burden of maintaining morality falls disproportionately on women, while men who are publicly regarded as religious and respectable are not always held to the same standards.
I'm not saying every Muslim man is like this, nor am I claiming that hypocrisy is exclusive to Muslims. But I am tired of seeing religiosity treated as proof of good character. Being religious, respected, or involved in your community does not automatically make you a decent person. Your character should be judged by how you actually treat people, especially when you think nobody is paying attention.
Honestly, it is experiences like these that make me question how much of what we call morality is genuine conviction and how much of it is simply about maintaining a respectable image. Because if your faith teaches you to appear pious but you still cannot treat women with basic dignity, then what exactly are you so proud of?
