Prologue:
I've finally gotten around to making an official rules post that people can click on and read. It is right up here stuck to the top of the subreddit feed for all to see and easily access. Not reading these is not an excuse for violating them. Anyone who has any clue about online activities should know to always read the rules in any forum, group, subreddit, or any other such setting.
One warning before the rules begin. If you have a post removed or are banned and you feel it was done in error and you message the mods, you best be polite and respectful. We WILL match your energy. If you are rude, vulgar, snarky, or harassing to us, we will do the same to you. That's if we even reply to begin with. Often unkind messages are just read and archived to be forgotten. Being rude has no benefits and gains you nothing in this situation. Karens are not welcome here. Go do your Karening somewhere else.
Rules
Rule 1
No Selling
Reddit accounts that are used for commercial purposes, like OnlyFans advertising, Instagram influencers, sugar dating, premium services, or other commercial entities are not permitted to post here. We now have a bot that enforces this quite strictly. If you have history in certain subreddits that are obvious or well known for commercial relationships such as sugar dating or other such financially based endeavors, your post will be removed and you will be banned automatically.
Please use a private / personal account not affiliated with your commercial endeavors to engage with this community. Selling or directing to premium services in DM or chat will also see your account banned if the recipient brings it to the attention of the moderators.
Rule 2
No Fakes, Bots, Catfish, Dishonesty about yourself
We only accept posts from people who are honest about themselves. If it is brought to our attention that you have a history of changing your gender regularly, (or at all) lying about your age, falsely representing yourself as someone you are not, or anything else that shows you are being dishonest or outright fake, you will be removed from posting.
This includes using pictures you found and stole from some obscure Instagram model or purchased in some catfish package bundle, or anything else that can be traced back to someone other than yourself. We do have the ability to see your deleted post history and we use it regularly. So if you change your age more often than most people change their underwear, we will eventually find out.
Rule 3 (shalt be the number of the counting, and the number of the counting shall be three)
Post title restrictions
Titles will be restricted to age, tag, and #location only. i.e.: 99 [M4F] #Asgard
Nothing else will be allowed in the title anymore. This is being automatically enforced so it won't be possible to add anything beyond your location anymore.
Now, your location, with the hashtag (#) can only be one word. It can only include standard characters such as letters and numbers. No spaces, no punctuation, no special characters.
- But I have a long, multiword city, state, and/or country name. What do I do?
Make it one word. For example, Northern Orange County, California should be typed in as NorthernOrangeCountyCA with no spaces. You get 15 characters after the hashtag (#) now. Blame those who like to test boundaries.
- I like listing several locations to further expand my chances. Now what?
Sorry, you only get ONE location now. No more listing half the states in the US. This is what seems to be the most hard to understand. One location means one location. Not a location and "anywhere" or "online." You choose a location, OR you choose online. Feel free to list more in your post body. I don't care if this is your list in the body of your post.
- What if we don't care about the location of our prospective matches?
As always, online and anywhere, or such locations are still allowed. I was going to eliminate those too, but bots and scammers love to use them so I shall let them stay. This makes it easier to check into accounts that are questionable. 😉 You wouldn't believe how many fakes I've found and banned just because little miss "19f" who wants to sell her OnlyFans subscriptions used #online.
- But I'm going to get around the title restriction. I'm smart and I know how to do it.
I don't suggest doing that. People like you are the reason we are all in this situation to begin with. First off, if you have a long assed title in a sea of short titles, it is going to stand out like a pro basketball player in downtown Tokyo. If I see people starting to abuse this and finding ways to get around it, I'll just simply put you on a list that filters your posts so they require manual approval. That's even worse than an outright ban. Because then you are taking time to make a post, but it doesn't show up until I look at it personally and decide if it is allowed. So yeah, FAFO.
update to this one: Well, some people F'dA and now you all FO. Because of a select few who have to try to push the envelope and see what they can get away with, post titles are now capped at 25 characters. After the Hashtag (#) you only have 15 characters left for your location. Make them count. That is more than enough for a city and state/country abbreviation. Blame those self indulgent pricks who want that really long title to stand out more for this one.
Rule 4 (shalt thou not count, nor shalt thou count to two, accepting that thou then proceed to three)
18+ Only
You must be at least 18 to post on this subreddit. People lying about their age will also be banned and if under 18, they will be reported to reddit admins.
Posts which overtly seek someone under 18 will be removed, you will be banned and reported to reddit admins. We ask that if searching for someone younger that you clarify that you are looking for 18+ ONLY as anything that seems questionable will be removed and you could be banned until you make your intent clear. We do take a stance of shooting first, second, possibly third, and then asking questions as we do not want to be associated with the wrong kind of people.
For example,
- looking for someone 16-20 is not okay.
- looking for someone under 20 is okay if you are significantly older and you make it clear they must be over 18.
- Anything too ambiguous or questionable may see your post removed and you will have to provide clarification.
If you are banned for this, have patience and BE POLITE when coming to us as we are doing this to keep reddit admins from stepping in and causing us more trouble than you.
All it takes to not be flagged for this is to add an "18+ only" disclaimer in your post.
Rule 5 (is right out!)
Title Location
You need to name your location as your country and nearest substantial city or your US State and nearest city. You do not need to name your exact location. Pick a city within a reasonable travel distance.
We allow some exceptions as shown in the examples:
- 24 [F4M] #LA - internationally famous city
- 26 [F4M] #Rhode Island - no need to name city as the state is small
- 25 [M4F] #Shanghai, China
- 50 [F4M] #Sydney, NSW, Australia
ANYWHERE and ONLINE are acceptable locations.
Rule 6
One post per 72 hours (three days)
As this rule is now strictly enforced by a bot it really doesn't come into play often but we decided to leave it in for a few reasons.
- This includes using multiple accounts to get around the time limitations. If you are found to be using multiple accounts, we will ban all of them. We may let you get away with it for a little while, but we are watching and taking notes on your posting habits if we suspect you. We will catch you eventually.
- The bot is very strict on the 72 hour limitations. It won't allow you to post at 71 hours, 59 minutes, and 59 seconds. Trying to post multiple times before the timer is up may sometimes glitch out and reset it so you can't post for 6 days now. If you complain to us and we see you tried to do that, we will only say, "Oh well. Try again in 3 more days."
- If you "make a mistake" and you delete your post, it does not reset the timer. If you make a mistake, edit your post to fix it. If it is something that the mods can fix, such as a post flair, mail us and let us know. Don't message us asking to approve your post because you deleted it. We may do it for you once, but if it becomes a habit, well, see the end of #2 above.
- Occasionally, due to lag, reddit glitches, or something else, you will accidentally double post when you hit the post button. If you do this, the bot still catches and removes the second post. If you know you are past the 72 hour time limit and you get the message, check your post history to see if this is the case. If it is, no need to message us. We won't even notice unless you say something about it. Your first post is still live, your dupe post was removed, all can go on their merry way.
Rule 7
No non-reddit contact info
This is a common personals rule that you see almost everywhere. Don't add personal contact info or ANY non-reddit social media contact info to your post. Do not guide people to anywhere outside of your post where they can contact you. You should only be accepting communication via reddit chat or DMs. You are free to give your other contact info PRIVATELY once you have opened a reddit chat or DM with someone.
All posts containing contact info such as IG, Snap, tiktok, email, phone numbers, (Yes, some people are dumb enough to give their phone numbers to random internet people) or any other random messaging platforms will be removed. This includes bunches of random characters that have no sense to them. We will consider that as something that is used for a messaging platform. (I'm looking at you session users!) As always, repeat offenders will be banned.
Anyone with their reddit DMs and chat turned off so people cannot contact you through reddit will also have posts removed until they open those lines of communication back up.
Rule 8
Account requirements
In the interests of limiting spam, there are account age and other restrictions on posting. Your account must be at least 10 days old and have at least 25 karma to post. Don't ask, we won't tell you. It is not an unrealistic amount to get within a week. We also prefer your karma is gained naturally. If you use sites to buy karma, have some questionably large amount of karma from somewhere or have a history of using free karma subreddits we may look a bit deeper into your posting habits and report our findings to reddit if we think there are karma manipulation violations going on.
This also covers those who think it is okay to post on the behalf of others. You are only to be posting for yourself. If you are a couple, then you are posting as a couple. But at no point should a man be posting a [F4X] post to find someone for his wife/GF/partner. Have them post for themselves.
If your account gets suspended or banned or there is any other reason we suspect your account is not "real" we will remove your post/comment. This includes multiple account use.
Rule 9
Image posting rules
Image based posts are currently turned off. Blame the guys who think it's a good idea to lead their post with a pic of themselves holding their dick in a stranglehold as if it owes money to the mob and taking the pic with a fisheye lens so that chapstick looks like a pringles can. I mean seriously, who ever thought it was a good idea to lead with your dick when trying to attract women? No one wants to see that shit. Besides, it's 90% men scrolling these subreddits. So all you are doing is showing off your junk to other guys.
The following is for those who still link pics in your post. If you do so, make sure they follow these guidelines. Would be sad to get banned from a text based subreddit for inappropriate pictures.
No genitalia
Images may not feature any part of your genitalia. This includes pictures in which your pants are pulled down to appear perverted sexy by showing your pubes. This is not a competition to see how far you can pull down your pants and not get in trouble. If you try to see if you can "push the envelope" then we will "push the ban button."
This is just a bit of advice as well. Seriously, be original with your pictures too. The so common headless, shirtless torso pics are waaaay overdone. Do you really want a woman who is so superficial that all she cares about is the shape of your disembodies torso?
Rule 10
Ban Evasion
This rule shouldn't need to be here as it is against reddit user agreement to use alternate accounts to try to post in a subreddit you have been banned from. But here we are. Some people think they are smart or sneaky and use a second (or third or fourth, etc...) account to try to post after getting banned. Well, they don't know that reddit has a pretty good ban evasion filter built into the site. We also have a bot to detect it.
If you are caught in ban evasion, we will not only re-ban you, but we will report all accounts involved to the reddit ban evasion reporting link. 99 times out of 100 this results in ALL of your accounts getting suspended from reddit as a whole.
Rule 11
Using the correct post flair
This should not have to be a rule. The only reason it is on is because some people are just completely ignorant or they think they're smart and are going to game the system. It is so simple though. If you post, you should choose the flair that matches the tag in your title. If you post a [M4F] post, you should choose the flair M4F. If you post a [F4M] post, you should choose the F4M flair. If you are Klingon looking for a Cardassian then you use the "edit your own" flair for K4C. Yet daily I get reports of men posting [M4F] with the [F4M] flair. Yes, as mods, we are able to change it, but it becomes monotonous to do so over and over. Occasionally we even "accidentally" "fix" it and "misclick" the M4M flair. So if you are getting other guys messaging you, now you know why. But it would really be a shame to get yourself banned from a personals sub for something so minor and stupid, right? Guess what? It HAS happened.
For those that are doing it on purpose to get more people to see your posts, have you thought this through? It's going to be guys that get drawn to your post when it's marked F4M. Then they are disappointed to see it's another guy who "probably isn't too smart if they flair themselves as F4M" so they downvote you and report your post. Then it gets "fixed" with and "accidental" M4M flair. So the whole time your post is up, you have ZERO women looking at it. I know I'm talking to a brick wall here. The people who really need to see this, won't. They're the ones who never read rules, post whatever they want and then get mad when they get banned for rule violations. Then they curse out the mods, get their messages reported and their accounts suspended.
Interlude
Those are the rules. What follows is other relevant information that may help you not get banned.
Reporting posts or comments.
If you feel a post or comment does not belong or goes against the subreddit rules, or even reddit's content policies themselves, you are free to report the post. We have several premade options for post/comment reports based on the subreddit rules. To find them after clicking the "report" option you have to click on the "Breaks OlderManPersonals rules" option. Do not just report something as spam or the default reddit options as we will just glance at the post and if we see nothing wrong, we will approve it and move along with our merry day.
Important! Look at the date of the post before you report it. If you fell down a rabbit hole and are years deep into the post history here, don't start reporting old posts. They are archived for a reason and anyone caught practicing necromancy in this group will be strung up and burned at the stake like the witch you are.
So, what happens when you report a post? First, it is removed from your feed once you refresh the page or app. You don't ever have to see it again unless you go out of your way to do so. It is put in the moderation queue for the moderators to look into when they get a chance to come on. If they agree with the report, the post will be removed. If they don't agree, it will be approved, but unless, as was stated, you went out of your way to keep seeing the post, you will still not see it. Reports are also anonymous. We don't see who sent them.
Do not abuse the report button! If we see too many unfounded reports against a single post, comment, or even member, we will start to think that someone is reporting things for no reason other than to be a jerk. We do have the option to report "Abuse of the report feature" to reddit. While we can't see who reports stuff, reddit admins can. They don't take abusing the system lightly either. There have been accounts suspended for it in the recent past as well, so don't report just to be a jerk. Make sure you have a reason.
Now, if a post needs more context, such as links to other posts or information, then you will have to send a mod mail which will give you more ability to add further evidence. But when you do so, be nice. Because we are going to come back at you with the same energy you give to us. But we will also tell you what happens (most of the time) and why we decided to do what we did.
If you feel that the moderators are not doing their duty correctly and allowing posts that go against reddit's terms and posting laws, you are free to report any offending post to the admins here: https://www.reddit.com/report We use this as well and their decision on the matter is considered final. They can even overrule the sub mods if they feel something we allowed should have been removed. You will also get a reply from them once they make their final judgement.
Abuse or Harassment of the moderators.
Yeah, I'm saying this again down here. Not that I expect the hotheaded asshole types that regularly curse us out to actually read this far. hat is a lot of words to get through and a lot of them are pretty big ones.
If you are banned, you are free to appeal it via modmail. If you do, you best keep a cool head and be polite and respectful. If you choose violence and vulgarity, you will be met with the same energy. All rude, vulgar, abusive, harassing, etc... comments will be immediately reported to reddit admins. I'd tell you to ask what happened of the many people who cursed us out in the past, but they have no access to their accounts anymore. So just don't do it. You will lose. You will be muted and reported and we will laugh and joke about it together as we dance and drink on the virtual grave of your now dead account.
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Recap of previous posts
Just adding this post that was stickied up top to this post to keep it all in one place
Using correct terminology
Looks like it's about that time again. I've been seeing these misused terms far too much again lately. The weather is getting nicer, the heat is rising, blood is leaving the brain, and common sense and simple grammar are in decline. So, without further ado, here is the good old educating post I made a while back, expanded with even more terms.
Dedication:
This post was written for those poor dumb ignorant people who like to use big words but don't really know how. Gods save them all.
Chapter 1: The main reason we are here.
Time for a bit of education here folks. I've been seeing postings misusing these terms quite a bit lately. It really doesn't look good if you consider yourself one of these and don't know which one to use when describing yourself. So let's get ourselves on the right track.
Dominant:
This word is an adjective used to describe something or something. It is often used in the biology field when describing types of genes. Such as dominant or recessive genes.
But more accurately for this place, it is used to describe a person. A person is dominant over a submissive. If you consider yourself the opposite of a submissive, then you are dominant. This is the term that, in the BDSM community, is abbreviated as Dom.
Dominate:
This is a verb, or an action word. This is something that you do. Used a lot in sports analogies, such as, "The Cowboys will never dominate the NFL and win a super bowl." or, "When Brady was with them, the Patriots dominated every other team they played."
In a more BDSM setting, you won't often see the word used as it is. You will, however, see variations occasionally, such as dominating. But, as it is, dominate is not something you can be.
Which to use when posting:
Well, 99 times out of 100 you will wish to use the term dominant. Examples: "I am a dominant guy, looking for a submissive." or, "I am a dominant daddy. Or a daddy dom."
On that one time out of 100, you want to use dominate more like this, "I'm a pretty strict guy and I like to dominate my women in the bedroom."
Wrong usage:
The mistake comes when people try to get fancy. They know what a DOM is, but they want to look more intelligent and impressive by using the whole big word. Much like this, "I'm a hard core dominate guy who likes submissive women."
Now, in your attempt to look cool with big words, you only look ignorant or uneducated. Sadly, we don't have a rule against stupidity... yet. So we have no reason to remove your post. All we can do is sit back and laugh at you for three days until you are eligible to post again. Hopefully, by then, those who need to will have seen this and start using the correct terminology.
Chapter 2: Other commonly misused terms.
Peek, Peak, and Pique:
You PEEK around a corner to creep on a hot girl at the supermarket.
PEAK is the top of something. Like a mountain, or intelligence. ex.: Using the improper term shows someone's PEAK intelligence is not very high.
PIQUE is what you do to interest. As in, This post should PIQUE the interest of anyone who uses any of these terms to try to look more intelligent. Don't try to get fancy and add the acute accent over the "E" either. That changes the word and gives it a totally different meaning. The word piqué is something different.
Discreet and Discrete:
Yes, those are two different words, with two different meanings.
Discreet is the one that would be used in pretty much every post needing such a term made here. It means to be cautious or careful to avoid attracting unwanted attention.
Discrete is a term used in technical or mathematical settings. It is to describe something separate, individual, or having a finite number of values.
Principle and Principal:
Principal has two meanings. One, most likely not used here, is the headmaster of a school. It can also be used to describe the most important of something.
Principle is a rule, or belief on which you conduct yourself. Such as: The creepy people here, who post dick pics have little to no principles. Here's another: the principal principle of this sub is to not be a creep and post pics of your dick if you don't want to end up banned.
Domestic and Domesticated:
These two words were brought to my attention by a "fan" last time I posted this.
Domestic is used to describe something that has to do with the home or household. i.e.: My domestic wife loves staying at home to take care of the kids and house.
Domesticated is only used to describe animals. Animals that have been bred ant trained and raised to live in association with humans. Basically, they are not wild anymore. Domesticated animals would be dogs, cats, cows, horses, pigs, chickens, ducks, etc... Pretty much anything you can have as a pet or find on a farm.
Chapter 3: Common, grade school grammar.
Yeah. let's get into the ones we were taught when we were in 4th grade. The ones that would get you a failing grade in elementary school if you used them wrong. The ones that show you really have some intellectual red flags going on.
There, Their, They're:
Let's start with the one you can rule out first when deciding on which to use.
They're literally means THEY ARE. When writing and needing to use one of the above words, this is the first you go to. You say to yourself, "THEY ARE." If it fits in the way you are using it, you use it. If it doesn't, you eliminated one and have a 50/50 chance of getting it right now. If you misuse this word, that is a serious red flag and pretty much a reason not to interact with you. i.e.: So many guys post dick pics in personal ads. They're really creepy and a red flag.
There is a place. Here, which is also a place, is part of the word. That's your secret weapon of knowing which to use. i.e.: I wish guys who post dick pics would go over there and throw themselves in a wood chipper so they wouldn't be here anymore.
Their shows possession of something. i.e.: Guys who show their dicks here are really small minded perverts.
Two, Too, and To:
One of these is obvious. It's the other TWO people have an issue with. If you use TWO in place of the other words, then you truly have no hope and should retire from the internet and live off grid for the rest of your life.
Too literally means "as well." The secret way of remembering that is that is has a second "O"... as well. When deciding on which word to use, you say in your head, "as well" to see if it makes sense. If it does, you know to add that second "O"... as well... as the first.
To has got to be the simplest, smallest word ever to be misused constantly. It is meant to describe another place. You go TO the supermarket and hope the creepy guy doesn't peek around the corner to check you out. (we call that a call back in the industry) If you bring a friend with you, they go to the supermarket... too. See what I did there?
Your, You're, and Yore:
Okay, let's face it, you aren't going to use the last one ever, unless you are writing a fantasy novel. So let's skip yore.
The other two are probably the most widely misused words online ever in this research I just made up. They are so simple to get right as well... too. (huh, huh?) The only reason is due to laziness and apathy. You don't care enough to use the correct terms? Well, why should anyone care enough to bother messaging an ignorant, apathetic, lazy bum who doesn't put the least little bit of effort into their post to look at least meagerly intelligent?
You're... YOU ARE! We've done the whole "say these words in your head to see if they sound right" a few times already. You're should be the word you start out with to make sure you are... YOU'RE using the correct term. If it doesn't make sense when you say "YOU ARE" then YOU ARE using the wrong term and YOU'RE ready to pick the other one instead.
Your denotes ownership. Your dick pic posts make me think you have self esteem issues and need the special internet strangers to tell you it's really nice. Your therapist can help you with that. If you don't have one, you're in need of finding one.
Epilogue:
What have we learned here? Well, a lot of the mistakes made are due to laziness and apathy. (That means you don't care) We also know that older guys hold simple stuff like correct grammar to a higher standard. Except for those who are only looking to show their dick or see a tiddy from a girl who I'm so very sure is completely real and not another perverted creepy dude who has nothing better to do in his mom's basement so he makes up a fantasy girl, steals some pics from some obscure instagram account and pretends to be that cute, sexy, petite 19f he is advertising he is.
Have I been harsh on those guys who show their dicks all the time? Yeah, I have. Why? Well, because they deserve it. No one wants to see that shit. Women aren't attracted to disembodied random dick pics. Especially when you are squeezing it at the base like he owes your stereotypical Italian mafia family money and you use a fisheye lens to make it look like it's three times bigger, a whole six inches.
But I digress. Bottom line is, take some time, put in some effort, and use the correct terms when making a post. Spelling counts more, but grammar is in a cool second place.
Note: if English isn't your first language, you get a pass on some of these. English is fucked up and hard even for those who only speak it. If you haven't grown up with it, you have a valid excuse. Hell, sadly, I have seen people who have English as their third or fourth language that speak and type it better than those who have spent thirty or more years dealing with it.