r/NitrousOxide • u/ConcentrateWest9801 • 5h ago
Am i fucked? NSFW
Skip to paragraph for just nitrous talk, paragraph 1 is all context
Ps. Plz i need help :/ 22 y/o man
I got a little, so hopefully i can make this as well as i have envisioned, and hope to keep this as anonymous as possible. So I guess i just want to give some context before getting into my new nitrous addiction. So some context would be i previously moved across the country for seemingly no reason, OH->AZ, and left my fam in Ohio. This was all my call and choices, and I guess subconsciously I thought my addictions would stay in Ohio, same with my issues, but as you could have guessed quite the opposite. Very quickly, the real quote-unquote reasons would be: my reputation was fried (2 pretty bad breakups within 2 years), not many friends, college dropout, no motion, and a terrible reputation, so anywho i visited a girl who we should call “Sponge”, back in April for a whole month, living with her. Anywho, me and Sponge thought, “aye, you got no motion in ohio, and love it here, move here,” so that I did. Back in August of 26, I moved to Arizona, leaving the little i had behind in Ohio, and the funniest part? Me and Sponge don’t talk anymore 💀Ok so i’m briefly going to mention my mom's disease, then all the other substances I have been abusing; then the next paragraph will be all nitrous talk and my experience. Anywho, my mom has “MS,” an autoimmune disease. Truthfully, I don’t know much about it besides that, and that she has been unable to walk since i was in 1st grade; that being said I fucking love my mom with my whole heart, but have been unable to tell her about the nitrous (why i came to Reddit 🤦), which all this will make sense, I promise. Anywho as far as the drugs I have been abusing, for starters, alcohol for roughly 2 years of pretty serious drinking obviously fluctuates alot, but I just think hard liquor, seltzers, beer, wine, tweas, like averaged probably 5-8 drinks a night for 2 years. Next would be Kratom (used to be 7oh but not anymore) just super concentrated kratom drinks for like 4 months (7oh was 8 months of use before super addicted). Next would be adderall, just got a script about a month ago and convinced myself i like it but don’t know if i do, i used to have adderall and coke problem, and def dont have adhd lol. Next weed once again: don't even like it but I smoke probably 7 times a week on average, something like that, it makes me anxious but i guess i like how it amplifies the other drugs i do. Finally there's our dear friend nitrous which i will talk about in a second. But one last thing i want to mention: the worst part with all my addictions is I grew to not only hate myself, look like shit, fucked my $ up so hard (cc debt), mental health fried, physical health fried, lost myself, all my friends, and have pretty much done nothing but downgrade. THE FUNNIEST PART? I DONT EVEN LIKE HOW I FEEL WHEN I AM FUCKED UP, BUT ITS ALL I CHASE!!!
Alrighty now for the good ol nitrous talk, I have been doing it for roughly 2 weeks now. The reason? Let me be totally transparent by no way shape or form would i ever blame Kanye on me doing nitrous; that would be flat out retarded. But I think it would also be silly to not include him in this. I’m a Kanye fanatic, like it’s bad lol. Anywho, he was making a album called “cuck” it has “ww3”, “nitrous,” and “cousins.” anywho it talks about nitrous so fucking much lmao. So yeah I was bumping that album religiously, and kept thinking about getting nitrous. I suppose i just knew how to do it with the balloon and just kept thinking about it. My brain is so retarded it’s almost like it needs what it can't have, and eventually I caved and bought some. One of my first highs was so fucking retarded, it felt so gooooood, my whole face melted, and i didn’t even know what universe i was, i just remember thinking a milloin times how much it felt like super intense “iron deficiency” when you stand up to quick, but that times a million, just bumping music off my speaker, playing videos games, and yeah it was lit. But just like I do with anything i enjoy i push it, and abuse it, so im sure that night i went and bought another thing, I buy this brand called “Rotass” and its about $25, sometimes the things can last more than one night, but most the time they just last a night 😂Funny enough one of the big reasons i walked out my shitty job (which i already hated sm) was because i was like “fuck it lemme just go get a canister”. But yea i have probably done 15-20 $25 canisters or whatever they are called, within 2 weeks. It the most depressing way its kind of all I care about, and have been talking to this high-maintenance chick who stresses me the fuck out, so anytime im not at work or with her I am abusing nitrous. I do the balloon every time for frostbite reasons, but here's the scary part and why I mentioned my moms MS, i have already been experiencing the B12 aspects, and I just want to know how fried I am. Long story short my body just feels weak throughout the day, and a few times it got really bad w my feet almost cramping while driving. Its super fucking scary and I already have fucked up spine problems, not like diagnosed, but my back has always been shitty, so im just super scared. My life just feels so fried already so I am in the mindset of like fuck it. I don’t know what to do any advice is helpful, alright im off to work.
I know i need to quit and stop, but like how bad are the aftereffects? Like does it actually genuinely make your body fried? I have noticed w my two weeks of use, and need to fucking stop. But like how? Idk I guess it just feels like I have no one I even want to talk to, I have told my mom everything my whole life but keeping this shit from her, its so embarrassing.