I’m 27M, Bengali, born and raised in London, UK. I’ve been living with an HSV-1 diagnosis for around two years now, and it’s been quite a journey, particularly mentally and emotionally.
On the surface, life is pretty normal. I’ve got a career, ambitions, a loving family, I enjoy the gym, spending time with friends and hopefully travelling more in the future. But behind all of that, there’s been an ongoing battle in my head that I don’t think many people around me fully understand.
Some days I’m absolutely fine. Other days, the symptoms, uncertainty, stigma and fear of potentially passing HSV on to someone I care about can feel overwhelming. It’s exhausting when something that shouldn’t define you starts affecting how you see yourself.
I think there’s also an unfair assumption that having HSV must say something about someone’s lifestyle, sexual history or decisions they’ve made. But HSV doesn’t discriminate, and regardless of how someone acquires it, nobody deserves to be judged or labelled as damaged goods.
I know I’m not damaged goods, and neither is anyone else living with HSV. But knowing that and genuinely feeling it every day are sometimes two different things.
Ultimately, I still want what most people want. Companionship, affection, marriage, someone to laugh with, travel with and hopefully build a future alongside.
But HSV has made navigating that feel more complicated. Sometimes I wonder whether someone will see me for who I am or whether the diagnosis will overshadow everything else.
I’d never expect anyone to accept risks they’re uncomfortable with, and I’d never want someone to feel pressured into pursuing something with me. Everyone deserves to make their own informed choices.
I think what I’ve realised lately is that I’ve spent so much time wondering whether someone would accept me that I’ve sometimes forgotten relationships are about two people choosing each other.
I’m open to meeting and connecting with people, whether they have HSV or not. For me, it’s about the person, their character, the connection and how we make each other feel. Sometimes just having someone to talk to, laugh with or share experiences with means a lot.
If something naturally develops into a meaningful relationship, amazing. If not, that’s okay too. I don’t believe every connection needs to come with expectations or pressure.
Of course, there’s something comforting about speaking to people who understand what living with HSV can feel like. But equally, I don’t want a diagnosis to determine who I can connect with or what my future looks like.
I’m still figuring things out. Some days I feel hopeful, other days quite isolated. But I’m trying to get to a place where HSV is simply something I live with rather than something that constantly occupies my thoughts.
I guess I’m sharing this because I know others here probably feel similarly.
I’d genuinely love to hear how people have navigated acceptance, confidence, relationships and finding genuine connections, whether with HSV-positive or HSV-negative partners.
We’re all so much more than a diagnosis, and I think sometimes we need reminding of that.
