I met a kid in high school, over 10 years ago.
As I’m sure you guys can relate but I am used to being the first Hmong person ppl meet in their life. I always have a script ready to repeat to explain that we share countries in Asia and that we have a unique culture and language etc.

One time this boy I bumped into the hallway early before transition, we chat and he seemed really sociable, which I guess his friendly face made us strike up conversation .

After small talk, he asked me what was my ethnicity and I said Hmong and I was about to go on my whole spiel, and he cut me off and said that he already knew what Hmong was, he already knew all about us.

I was taken aback and said really? And he’s like yeah I know all about it, j said well.. what are you? And he’s like I’m ___ I said huh what is that, and he’s explains it’s just like Hmong, no country , from different Asian countries yet the memory is foggy so I can’t remember if he even specified which ones. His features were unique, like Hmong but with a mix of Central Asia features.

He said that they also have their own language and clothes too, just like us. That he’s used to being the first ____ person everyone meets as well so he knows how I feel. I’m like what? Huh? I’m literally speechless and so off guard, mind you I’m 16 years old at this time so my line of questioning wasn’t smart. I just kept repeating I was shocked and I’ve never heard of this… more so I never experienced not hearing of an ethnicity group name LOL!!!

He was like yeah it’s crazy right I’m used to it . I said it was like I was looking in a mirror. He even says they do the same things, their own personal new years, their own food and customs, tight knit.

The bell rings and now we’re being swarmed in the hallway instantly. I need to get to class cause the tardy was strict at the time LOL and obviously I’m a goody two shoes and it’s clear he needed to leave as well. We are slowly being by the crowd, and I’m like well wait we need to talk more about this, I’m so interested in who you are.

We’re slowly walking apart from each other as the crowd deepens and I said I will catch u again in the hallway some other day and we’ll talk more. I was sure I’d see him again.

He shouts over the crowd “oh no sorry I don’t go to this school” I said wtf what and he said “yeah I’m just here today to visit for a school trip with my club, I don’t go here!”

And before I could ask where he goes or his contact we got separated and I had to get to class. I was too in shock to pursue this and it’s my biggest regret. And I was dumb and young.

Anyways I always think who he was and I am so mad Icannot recall this ethnicity name I don’t even know what it starts with, I’ve googled I’ve tried to ai, look at names of groups but nothing rings a bell at all. I beat myself up and it haunts me, I feel like I met a rare shiney pokemon and I didn’t keep in contact to know more. Now I’ll never find my twin flame again LOL!

Whats the process for getting divorced? Do I call my relatives and let them know? Do I call the inlaws and let them know? Who decides and what are the steps when we decided to end it

does anybody have that graphic someone makes with all the dates if all the different new years across the usa?

Hi! I’m a student working on a course project about Hmong American experiences. I’m hoping to interview a Hmong community member about a topic we agree on, such as family, culture, immigration, education, or community life.

The interview would take about 15 minutes and take place by phone / by video call. I’ll treat your experiences respectfully, and you can skip any question or stop at any time. I won’t record unless you give permission.

If you’re interested, please comment or message me. I’m happy to share more about the project before you decide. Thank you!

I'm adopted from China near the Chongquing area into an American family and just figured out via an Ancestry DNA test I took years ago, that after a recent update, I'm 44% HMONG!

My whole life I thought I was 100% Central Chinese, and much of what I was told supported that theory. But now there's a whole other culture to myself I'm very surprised to have figured out.

What could have led to this near 50/50 split of Central Chinese to Hmong genes? Also why now with the update? Anyone have some fun ways they're incorporated their Hmong and Chinese heritage together here in the US?

Yes, that’s my piece. I was wondering if anyone wanted to share poetry with each other. I love writing about love, life, the Universe, my memories, “connections,” godhood, thunder, strings, mortality, the stars that blind the sky with darkness, the ones that do it with light, the axis of one’s destiny in the palm of one’s Will, whether it’s been wasted or not, and the lullabies that shimmer like beacons in your ears, hoping you’d heed them before its too late. I’m also a pagan mage of my own personally-created pantheon. I’ll be writing about our own mythology a lot sometimes if you’re interested. If not, I’ll keep it to myself as it is kinda odd. I hope to create enough poems to publish my own poetry book one day. :)

If anyone’s interested, I’m open to penpaling too. I like journaling, fountain pens, anime, drawing, politics, engineering policy ideas, collecting poetry/political books, certain games, creating neologisms, dresses, and creating magic systems. We can share photos, poems, book notes, ideas, music recs, ephemera, or the like in the penpal exchange, and it can be online, through an exchange journal, or letters. If anyone wants to make a group exchange of this, we can do that unless you prefer a more individual approach.

I’m looking for a platonic Trevelyan Inquisitor to my Solas. If you know what I mean, then awesomeness! I’m 34/F/California.

I’ve taught Hmong teens for many years. When I ask about what food they like and the student’s favorite food isn’t pho or ramen, it is chicken Alfredo! It is the only non Asian dish kids bring to pot luck too! No other Italian food like spaghetti or Mac and cheese or pizza, just chicken alfredo? I would love to know your serious (and not serious) hypotheses on why you think this is the go-to dish for hmoob mekas teens! Is it convenience? Or what?

Moving to NC (Charlotte). How is the community there? I am relocating from San Diego Ca. I am a single male, never married with no kids. How’s dating? Open to other race. What do you guys do for fun?

So the majority of my family is from the southern part of Laos not far from the Cambodian border per se. My mom never saw any Hmong people until she came to America. My dad must have since he was in the military. I also never saw any Hmong-Lao couples that came together from Laos to the USA. Never saw any Hmong-Lao couples in the 80's in Cali and didn't start to see it until the mid 90's in the Northeast.

The question here is of all the ones I saw it was mainly Hmong female and Lao male. For those that see these type of couples in your experience was it more HFLM or HMLF or equal pairings?

HFLM - hmong female lao male

HMLF - hmong male lao female

Hi! I’m a student working on a course project about Hmong American experiences. I’m hoping to interview a Hmong community member about a topic we agree on, such as family, culture, immigration, education, or community life.

The interview would take about [duration] and take place [in person / by phone / by video call] around [dates or timeframe]. I’ll treat your experiences respectfully, and you can skip any question or stop at any time. I won’t record unless you give permission.

If you’re interested, please comment or message me. I’m happy to share more about the project before you decide. Thank you!

​

I'm looking for an older asian movie (VHS era), and I remember on the back cover of it, there's this lady in traditional Hmong clothing (red sash, black skirt). She's also holding a weapon with a part of her thigh exposed as she's looking outwards.

During the movie, there's a woman that gets assaulted and unfortunately, her captors insert a bamboo stick inside of her. Her captors were soldiers who wore green clothing and that's all I remember, as this movie was from a very long time ago.

I'm trying to look back on our Hmong history and learn more of it. The film I mentioned is one of the ones I want to watch and understand more.

Any help is appreciated, thank you so much.

Are there any resources for learning the other hmong dialects beside white and green hmong? It doesn't have to be in English.

I'm a 36 years old Hmong woman living in the Bay Area. I considered myself successful and I think I'm good-looking enough. I work in government finance making close to $150k annually. Though NorCal dating is skew in favor of women, and I don't have a hard time finding guys, I actually would prefer to date a Hmong guy.

Why am I still single at this age? Tbh I just never dated much. Instead, I tend to focus on my career and personal life. And contrary to many Hmong people who sometimes hate their heritage, I really love being Hmong. Like many Hmong people my age, I grew up in a pretty normal shaman family. I have 8 siblings and am close with everyone of them. I know my culture is not perfect. But I've been around a lot of different cultures so I don't look at them through rose color glasses. Everyone got their own issues.

Anyhow, I've reach a point in my life where I am financially and mentally ready to settle down. It's easy to find non-Hmong guy who can meet my standards. But for some reason, Hmong people often tells me my standards are too high.

Guess I will list it out:

* Around 30s, I guess upper 20s of they're ok with dating someone older.

* Has a high paying job making +$150k. Sure, some people don't like it but I'm looking for someone who can match my standards of living.

* Take care of themselves. Even if I make good money, I make it a point to take care of myself and would want someone similar.

* Not Christian. I love my Shaman culture and I honestly do have a bias against Hmong Christians. In my childhood, they always believe they were superior or better. I also remember them looking down on Hmong shamanism like we could never go far since we choose to follow the old ways.

* Not a former player, drinker, party a lot, etc. People like to say everybody has a past/skeletons in the closet at my age. But I was always a bit vanilla and don't mind it. I believe in Shamanism so I do believe that your karma follows your offspring.

edit: I guess I'm looking for someone who either lives in California. Or, will be willing to move to California.

edit 2: I think people are misunderstanding. I'm not looking to lower my standards. I've openly stated my standards. I know not a lot of Hmong guys can meet the standards. I'm also just asking if anybody knows anyone. If you or they are not interested, you don't need to post about yourself..

Anyways, feel free to let me know if you know anybody. Thanks!

But I hate that we are so chaotic sometimes or maybe all the time. I can see why we are Just a bunch of country bumpkins . We slander one another and for what ? SMH. We Hmong people cannot live without drama at all it’s as if it’s embedded in my our DNA to survive.

I don't know this Yia Vang, but I am presuming from the name that he is Hmong!

I’ve been seeing it everywhere lately with that Hmong contestant in Mister Global. Look at how much more he's in the lead compared to #2 and #3. I just know 80% of these votes are just Hmong people. All my Hmong mutuals and Hmong community pages on FB are spamming posts about voting for him, but are people actually looking at the competition criteria and whether he's doing a good job compared to everyone else, or are they just smashing the vote button because he's Hmong and we share the same identity?

He's not unattractive, but if we were voting off of objectivity and not tribalism, there are way better looking men than him in this competition (go here and scroll down to look for yourself: https://misterglobal.1voting.com/).

And it’s not just pageants. I see the exact same thing happen with local elections. A Hmong candidate runs, and suddenly a huge chunk of our community is ready to hand them the vote without even looking at their policies, background, or whether they're actually qualified.

I get the appeal. Being a diaspora, it's cool to see one of our own getting some spotlight or getting into office. It feels like a win for representation.

But at the same time, are we shooting ourselves in the foot? If we blindly support people just based on ethnicity, we stop holding them accountable. We end up backing people who might suck at their jobs or didn't earn their "win" just because of who they are.

I'd rather support someone like Suni Lee who earned her title and global recognition rather than someone who just gets handed the hype because of their background.

Where’s the line between actual community pride and just blind, low-effort tribalism? Curious what you guys think, or if y'all just don't care and it's just cool to see a Hmong person win something.

Nyob Zoo os everyone!

I am Meeka Dawb and currently studying Hmoob Dawb. I've been casually studying for a little over a year but decided to take it more seriously recently with Hmong new year approaching.

A little background on myself, I married into a Hmong family and I have really enjoyed learning the language so far!

My only problem is resources for Hmong language are very slim.

I was hoping to get together a study group or anyone who would be willing to help with conversational skills.

I have a good foundation on how to read and pronounce most words correctly, but I am really just wanting to work on having basic conversation.

The goal is to be able to talk to vendors and keep a little conversation going at our Hmong new year!

Ua tsaug everyone <3

Hi everyone!

I'm looking for some movie recommendations for my mom. She's from an older generation and I'm trying to find some movies she might really enjoy.

She likes:

• Martial arts/action movies, especially Jackie Chan and Jet Li
• Hmong movies, especially romantic/drama movies similar to Nuj Nplaib thiab Ntxawm Daim
• War movies, especially ones with a good story and emotional moments
• She also enjoys watching videos of people doing everyday things, like gardening, going to local markets, building or making things, and working on projects around their home

She mostly enjoys older-style movies, but I'm definitely open to newer ones too.

If you know any Hmong movies, Asian movies, or other movies that fit these tastes, I'd love to hear your suggestions!

Also, sorry in advance for any mistakes in my English. French is my native language, not English, so I hope my post is understandable!

Thanks in advance for any recommendations!

PS : also if you have some recommendations on acctivities that we can do with her feel free to share, she used garden but now she only rest in home and watch the TV

Why is it so hard to make friends within the hmong community? I feel like everyone's so stuck up and uneasy going. How do we get more involved in our own people? I feel like the older people get the worst everyone's becoming.

Hi I just wanted an outside look into my situation,

I’m a 23 F (Hispanic) and my technically husband is 23 and he’s the Hmong one. We are currently expecting our first and prior to that I have always had issues with certain events. Don’t get me wrong the culture is beautiful and the big family but funny enough I come from a small family of introverted people like for my side of the family baby shower I had 10 people and his had 100+.

My issue is how to separate culture from religion.
His parents are shaman but he told me he doesn’t believe or practice that. I grew up catholic but I don’t have strong religious roots to it however I respect it.

I don’t like participating in religious events like ua neeb or stuff like that but we show up because it’s family and to show face otherwise his parents throw a fit. I don’t mind if it’s for someone else but I don’t want it done for me or baby and essentially how do I approach that?

I don’t like the idea of sacrificing animals in my name to spirits or such it’s just not what I believe in or what I want to partake in. I understand it comes from a place of care and well wishes for me and my birth but I don’t want to continue to set a precedent that I will join on these things especially when my husband doesn’t care for it.

I don’t know if that makes any sense but if anyone has any cents to offer on the topic I’m willing to listen.

My mom talks about dying almost every single day, and it is heartbreaking to hear. She isn't even in her 70s yet. My siblings and I are young working adults—some of us are new parents—and we still need her guidance, wisdom, and love.

While she mentions that her grandchildren give her strength, she constantly laments about just wanting to be gone. My siblings who live with her do everything they can—taking her to local fairs, events, plays, libraries, and introducing new hobbies. When I visit monthly, we do farmers market trips or have her read to my son. But she tells me that the moment we leave, the house feels dark and she feels completely devoid of purpose.

With work schedules, my siblings can’t provide around-the-clock engagement, and lately, the frustration has led to her lashing out and saying hurtful things to them.

When we suggested Hmong senior day centers or social groups, she shut it down immediately, including local Hmong women's groups.

She views them strictly as places where older folks go to flirt or date (which she has zero interest in), or gossip and beneath that, she is genuinely terrified of opening up and making friends due to gossip and social anxiety.

For those who have walked this road with Hmong parents navigating late-life depression, loss of identity, or empty-nest isolation: How did you help them rebuild a sense of individual purpose, community, and joy?

I'm interested in becoming a Hmong producer/sponsor for the ambitious Hmong artist in Laos. Does any have experience doing this? How much can one expect to make? Who is the most productive Hmong producer/sponsor at this time?