"Records are made to be broken." - Anthony Scaramucci, on Katie Zacharia's firing.

Workin' Nine To Bye

Donald Trump fired White House Press Secretary Katie Zacharia just five days after she started, setting a new speed record for failing out of his administration.

• Success isn’t the only way to make a name for yourself. A “Scaramucci” still means “11 days” to everyone in D.C. politics, as a reference to the time it took for Anthony Scaramucci to spectacularly flame out from his job as President Donald Trump’s White House communications director in 2017. Today, a new term was coined: a “Zacharia.” It’s even shorter, barely a workweek long.

• The White House booted Press Secretary Katie Zacharia only five days after she replaced Karoline Leavitt — less than half a Scaramucci. Or, technically, 5/11ths, meaning 0.4545 x Scaramucci. (Questions are now being raised on social media over whether the last day should count as only one half, given that she was out by lunchtime. If so, that would make her tenure 4.5/11ths. Also, Monday was a federal holiday. We may need an instant replay! Call in a robo-ump!)

• Whatever the exact number, this revolving door turned at warp speed for good reason: It shows just how much the White House is sweating the midterms. This administration has endured a lot of mediocrity. But with less than three weeks to go, and control of Congress on the line, Trumpworld can’t afford to let this press secretary debacle dominate the headlines any longer than it has to.

• Zacharia was doomed from the beginning. A former Trump Media adviser with minimal public speaking experience, Zacharia appeared visibly rattled during her first (and only) press conference on Tuesday morning. She took only three questions, prioritizing conservative outlets, and ended the briefing within minutes.

• Zacharia blamed her bungled performance on staffers who didn’t prepare her well-enough, as well as first day jitters. She offered that bizarre defense last night to Fox News’ Sean Hannity, whose tone implied that he believed this lady shouldn’t be within 100 miles of the White House podium. “I feel like I did my very best,” Zacharia told Hannity.

• Then there was the whole “lawyer” thing. Zacharia spent years claiming to be a lawyer, only to admit sheepishly this week that she never passed the bar exam. On her first day, she claimed to have done legal work in China, and went on to insist, bizarrely, that while she couldn’t call herself an “attorney,” she had been advised that “lawyer” was accurate. (Note: This is not a thing!)

• She only made matters worse in another Fox & Friends interview this morning. When a Fox host asked if she wished she’d disclosed the failed exam to Trump before being hired, Zacharia responded: “Those questions weren’t asked. I’m being hired as White House press secretary, and not White House counsel.”

Even Trump admitted that he messed up by choosing Zacharia.

• Zacharia’s demise seemed imminent from the moment she stepped down from the podium this week. The question was always how fast she’d be kicked to the curb. The call came shortly after Trump told reporters this morning that he had asked Zacharia if she actually wants the job.

• “Honestly, if I were you, I’d reconsider,” Trump recalled telling her. “Katie, do you need this? I don’t think you need this.” (Translation: You’re fired!)

• It takes a lot for someone to be fired in Trumpworld. Hell, Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth still has a job even after Trump nixed his ludicrous plan to livestream the firing-squad execution of a man in a wheelchair.

• But this week has been jam-packed with scandals even by Trump’s standards. With midterms right around the corner, Zacharia chose a bad time to make a fool of herself — and the president seems to have an easier time firing women, anyways.

“Records are made to be broken. But I take no pleasure in other people’s pain,” Scaramucci tweeted today.

Meanwhile On The Pod...

Billionaires Are Flooding Republican Campaigns With Secret Money (10/15/26)

Look No Further Than Crooked Media

Is it possible some of the South will flip blue? No matter what happens in the midterms, we'll have a lot to make sense off. So, we've asked our Southern experts, Errin Haines and Jennifer Palmieri to join us at Crooked Con, just days after the midterms!

They will be hosting their very first LIVE episode of Long Play in Washington D.C. on Saturday, November 7!

The Long Play live show is included in your all-day Crooked Con ticket! Check out the line-up and get your tickets now at https://crookedcon.com.

What Else?

Dozens of Israeli settlers attacked a Washington Post photojournalist and Palestinians in the West Bank, setting olive groves on fire during locals’ autumn harvest. The journalist, who was wearing a vest with “PRESS” on the front and back, was “knocked to the ground, kicked repeatedly and stripped of her cameras and phone,” the Post writes. She was later taken to a local hospital. The video is chilling.

Broligarch Elon Musk sent $158 million last month to a super PAC backing Ken Paxton’s Senate bid against Democrat James Talarico in Texas, according to fresh federal filings. His donations have allowed Paxton to remain competitive, despite Talarico raising way more money. Ah, democracy. When a trillionaire can slap down that credit card and bid for a senator!

Speaking of Elon’s Big Supervillain Energy, someone inside the White House ordered the Pentagon to limit Ukraine’s access to Starshield, the military division of Musk’s Starlink satellite service, Reuters reports. Trump has grown frustrated with Ukraine, after the country continued striking Russia this week. “Zelenskyy is not a good guy for us to deal with,” Trump told Newsmax. “I’m not a big fan of Zelenskyy. They’ve destroyed that country.” Excuse me? Ukraine destroyed Russia?

Trump aides Stephen Miller, Bill Pulte, and Lee Zeldin are jostling to become the next White House chief of staff, amid rumors that Susie Wiles might resign or be replaced after the midterms, the Post reports. One funny piece of this drama: After Politico reported that Trump was thinking about replacing Wiles, Natalie Harp reportedly printed out the story for Trump, which triggered a “freakout.”

Trump allies are openly discussing the possibility that Trump could declare martial law during the midterms. During a video call on right-wing platform Rumble in September, Peter Ticktin, a lawyer for election denier Tina Peters, told MAGA activists that “there would have to be martial law in the event... [of] another rigged election.” Great! Martial law! Just in time for Thanksgiving!

Trump officials reportedly investigated Rep. Ilhan Omar (D-MN) for fraud during his first term, but didn’t find any evidence of wrongdoing. “I think her citizenship is solid and there wasn’t any fraud there,” a former official familiar with Trump’s first investigation told the Post.

A Great Depression-era mini-golf course in Washington, D.C. might be collateral damage as Trump tries to reshape the city’s public (full-size) golf course to his liking. This is a great article about the history of the mini-golf course, which I had no idea existed. You know where to find me this weekend!

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Light At The End...

A New Zealand museum published dozens of photos of Nikumaroro, the Pacific atoll where aviator Amelia Earhart is believed to have crash-landed, from 1938. One Earhart investigator described the batch of photos as a “goldmine” that could help provide clues about her disappearance.

Somehow I missed news of the annual Damariscotta Pumpkinfest and Regatta this week. If you’re unfamiliar, locals carve out massive pumpkins, sit inside them, and use kayak paddles to race each other down a river. The race featured people dressed as wizards, a man in a Barnacle Boy costume, and a Dolly Parton-themed vessel, among other incredible works of pumpkin art.

A 4-year-old poodle-husky mix named LouLou was rescued from the side of an icy mountain in Alaska this week after surviving an avalanche. Two hikers, who were with LouLou were swept 500 feet off a mountain ridge, survived with serious injuries. LouLou was tracked down using an AirTag. “She’s amazing,” one of the hiker’s girlfriends said. “She appears to have broken a toe and a canine tooth. She’s enjoying the couch and naps. Otherwise back to normal.” The video of her rescue is heartwarming.

A bear broke into a library in California and helped itself to snacks, including peanut butter, peach cups, cookies and a jar of honey, according to the library, which posted a video of the thief on Facebook. “Satiated, the bear then took a full tour of the library, perusing the new releases and inspecting the reference desk before, evidently content with its visit, letting itself out and departing for the day,” the post reads. “No shelves were toppled and no books were harmed, though the honey jar has not been returned at time of publication.”

Enjoy

Meet Gritty, a 3-month-old kitty!

“Gritty is undoubtedly our house’s best thing about 2026. The humans and surviving cat were very down after the death of our 18-year-old cat, and Gritty’s lovable and playful nature has brought so much fun, joy, and healing to us all. It’s crazy how much power is packed into this 2-pound snuggle bug!”

— Erica

I don’t see a thread for What a Day - The State That Might Re-Ban Abortion.

Did anyone else hear the Rick Jackson ad around timestamp 11:30? For those outside of Georgia, Rick Jackson is the republican billionaire candidate for governor pledging to do Trump’s bidding.

I was shocked to hear that ad on a Crooked pod. Perhaps there are advertisement rules that I am unaware of that require Crooked to air it? Would love to be enlightened because I was shocked to hear it.

"I have some very severe problems." - Donald Trump, on himself.

Passport And Prejudice

The Trump administration is reportedly hoping to deport a sitting Democratic congresswoman, in a stunning display of performative cruelty before the midterms.

• The polls have been crystal clear: Americans are fed up with President Donald Trump’s war with Iran, his era of pricey gasoline, his flagrant self-enrichment. They’re telling every pollster who will listen that they want major change after the November midterms. Trump’s approval rating has plunged to historic lows across various polls, including one commissioned by Fox News.

• But in response to this call for change, Trump’s doubling down on more of the same. His team is charging forward with some of its most controversial policies yet, including an all-out blitz to find a basis to deport one of Trump’s least favorite congresswomen, Rep. Ilhan Omar (D-MN). The unprecedented move suggests Trump is desperately tossing political red meat to his most depraved supporters, in a last-ditch effort to convince them to turn out and vote for Republicans in the midterms.

• The investigation into Omar, a progressive firebrand, kicked into high gear on Monday when federal agents raided her home in the nation’s capital, removing cardboard boxes. Authorities seized her phone and passport. They issued more than a dozen subpoenas, including to her relatives. The probe reportedly focuses on allegations that Omar or her late father lied on decades-old paperwork to secure citizenship.

• The Trump administration’s end goal? Build a case to strip Omar, a Somali refugee, of her citizenship — and send her on a plane out of the United States, according to the Wall Street Journal. Omar just happens to be the first African refugee elected to Congress, and one of the first Muslim women.

• “Trump’s push to strip her of her citizenship and deport her has no basis in the law and has no precedent,” Jacklyn Rogers, a spokesperson for Omar, told What A Day. “This isn’t a legitimate law enforcement action — it is an authoritarian move to silence an opponent right before an election where he and his party will be rejected by Americans in historic proportions.”

• Trump has claimed that he isn’t involved with the investigation. “I think she’s a terrible person, but that’s really up to the DOJ,” Trump told reporters after the raid. “I have nothing to do with it.”

Just in case the racist messaging isn’t heavy-handed enough, get this: The Trump administration might spend money to encourage white South Africans to move to the U.S.

• The State Department barred the vast majority of refugees from entering the United States last year — except for white South Africans known as Afrikaners, who are descendants of European colonists. Broligarch Elon Musk (who hails from South Africa) and Trump have pushed the bogus claim of “white genocide” in that country, arguing its supposed victims should move to America.

• Trump’s team wants to know why its offer hasn’t received a stronger reception. The State Department is considering spending $335,000 on a research and ad campaign in South Africa, aimed at understanding the situation and encouraging more Afrikaners to move stateside, according to The Guardian. Trump officials also told Congress that it intends to prioritize wants Afrikaners for refugee admissions this fiscal year.

• The administration’s deep concern for white refugees — and malevolent disdain for Omar and millions of other migrants — underscores the blatant racism fueling many of Trump’s actions ahead of the midterms. Trump remains focused on attacking his foes rather than, y’know, lowering gas prices or ending the war he started in Iran.

• Even former Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene, who built her political career bashing Omar and her progressive allies, came to the congresswoman’s defense.

• “Me and Ilhan Omar are far apart policy wise,” Greene tweeted last night. “But can someone tell me how pretending to get ready to deport Ilhan Omar is going to bring gas down under $2, make health insurance freaking affordable, make a family’s weekly grocery bill make sense, and stop sending our beloved military off to fight for another fucking foreign war???”

MTG added: “People are so sick and tired of the bullshit.”

Meanwhile On The Pod...

Will Voters REJECT Republican Anti-Choice Bans? (w/ Carter Sherman) (10/14/26)

Look No Further Than Crooked Media

Each week in her podcast, Assembly Required, Stacey Abrams explores actionable steps to fight fascism.

This week, she sat down with Naomi Klein and Astra Taylor authors of "End Times Fascism: And the Fight for the Living World." Together they unpack and dissect the new brand of fascism we're dealing with today and how it's different from the 1940s. PLUS they discuss how fascism can be stopped.

New episodes of Assembly Required drop every Tuesday, wherever you get your podcasts.

What Else?

Pentagon officials plan to keep an internal report about the U.S. strike on an Iranian school, which killed at least 123 children, private until after the midterms, Bloomberg reports. “We should acknowledge our mistakes and fix it to make sure it doesn’t happen again,” Mark Esper, who served as Trump defense secretary during his first term, told the outlet.

Who forked over cash to build Donald Trump’s ballroom? The Washington Post obtained a list of all the major donors, showing that Apple and Nvidia both donated $25 million, as well as the Adelson family. All the private donations listed add up to $333 million. Hilariously, Trump himself isn’t on the list — despite claiming that he is helping to pay for the ballroom.

Ukraine resumed strikes on Russia today, after the country accused the U.S. of cutting off intelligence-sharing and access to Starlink satellite services. This is a critical moment in the war: Ukraine is losing faith that the Trump administration has its best interests in mind, after Trump struck a deal with Moscow to supply diesel around the world. Trump’s team is now considering easing sanctions on some shadow tankers that transport oil from Russia and other countries.

The Pentagon won’t livestream the firing squad execution of the Fort Hood shooter, Trump announced today. Maybe he saw the news that 80 percent of Americans opposed the idea.

White House Press Secretary Katie Zacharia never passed the bar exam, even though she claims to be a lawyer. After failing the test in California, she moved to China with her husband to work at a Chinese law firm. To make matters even more confusing, Zacharia told a New York Times reporter that she passed the bar “when I moved to China.” She later claimed that she thought the reporter asked: “Where were you after law school?” That still doesn’t explain her answer!

A crypto company called Tether steered millions of dollars to a business co-owned by Bo Hines, Trump’s 29-year-old crypto adviser, while he crafted landmark legislation that regulates the currency, the Wall Street Journal reports. The company hired Hines to run its U.S. operations after the bill was signed into law.

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Light At The End...

Sunscreens containing bemotrizinol, a skin-protecting chemical that’s popular in other countries, are hitting the U.S. shelves, months after the FDA approved the chemical’s use.

A Massachusetts ice cream shop raised more than $5,000 in tips for its young employees after a customer screamed at a 16-year-old cashier, all because the customer’s $9 ice cream special rang up to $9.20. The shop owner set up a GoFundMe, which commenters requested following his viral defense of his employees: “I swear to God. STOP YELLING AT MY FUCKING EMPLOYEES,” the owner wrote on Facebook. “It’s ice cream for crying out loud. Grow up and act your age.”

A Rhode Island farmer smashed the record for growing the world’s largest pumpkin, with his massive squash weighing in at 3,156 pounds. The previous record was 2,856 pounds. Now, the pumpkin gets to bask in the fame. “These pumpkins live a celebrity lifestyle,” the farmer said. “They are put on parade, and they’re the emcee basically at events.”

On that note, a truly ginormous inflatable pumpkin broke loose and chased drivers off the road in North Carolina this week. Luckily, it didn’t weigh 3,156 pounds.

A Jack Russell terrier named Luna was reunited with her family after she ran away from her family during a vacation to Yellowstone National Park. Luna had been missing for over a month, eluding capture even after being spotted using automatic doors to enter park buildings. She was eventually caught using a trap, which contained scraps from a shirt and pillowcase owned by her family.

The Smithsonian National Zoo in Washington, D.C. recently welcomed an adorable red panda cub, and zookeepers want help naming her. The options are Dolly (inspired by Parton), Pyra, (meaning heat in Greek) and Dolpa (a red panda-rich region in Nepal). Vote here by Saturday!

Enjoy

Matty McMeme on Instagram: "i love a grocery store seasonal aisle. what have they done to pretzels this time"

I just wanted to start by saying I 100% understand why it doesn’t exist anymore (we are living under fascism) so I’m not complaining about the fact that liberal tiers doesn’t exist anymore (though they do weirdly do those rapid response videos with Brian and Tommy that they call liberal tiers) I just wanted to reminisce about the show

Also it makes sense as to why they first retored it because when Elon musk was shredding our constitution, we maybe shouldn’t have been like “omg guys let’s rank the dumbest Fox News hosts” but I feel like they could’ve done one on gop midterm candidates

Awhile ago, some friends and I on the FOTP discord made a list when Lovett was mocking JD Vance with dumb nicknames. Some of them were legendary. Unfort, Idr the vast majority of them. Can we turn this thread into a recreation of the best Lovett JD Vance nicknames?

"The clock is running." - Anthony Scaramucci, casting doubt on Katie Zacharia's tenure as press secretary.

Reflecting Fool

New evidence details the Reflecting Pool’s botched renovation at the hands of Donald Trump, symbolizing the chaos and conspiracy that has characterized his second term.

• President Donald Trump would have Americans believe he can supercharge the economy, tame inflation, denuclearize the Middle East, ring in peace from Iran to Russia, develop the Gaza Strip into a resort, halt the march of communists who (he claims) hate America, appoint the very best people, and single-handedly keep virulent hyper-intelligent AI from killing everyone on earth despite dire warnings from experts in the field that it might do just that.

• The reality is that this guy can’t even fix a pool. Never mind the rest of that stuff. Six months after he started working on it, the Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Pool remains a work in progress. He has lied and tried to throw other people in jail to cover up the mess. And the details of this ludicrous episode should serve as a reality check for anyone questioning their sanity in this troubled age.

• Trump literally spent the summer spreading falsehoods about why the Reflecting Pool renovation was an utter disaster — even though it was his contractor’s fault. Nonetheless, Trump’s team boasted about arresting people for allegedly vandalizing the pool, then dropped the charges.

• Water now fills about one-third of the landmark. Fresh reporting underscores the sheer incompetence of Trump’s hand-picked contractors, and the depravity of the administration for targeting civilians who didn’t commit any crimes.

• The new coating applied to the Reflecting Pool peeled, cracked and blistered in at least 85 places because of the contractor’s shoddy work, according to an inspection report obtained by the Washington Post. What was the most likely reason that happened? Workers applied coating only the day before the pool was refilled with water, even though the paint needed three days to dry, the report found. A separate report from the contractor blamed “human oversight,” since workers may not have sprayed on enough paint.

• It’s worth pausing to consider Trump’s role in this. He was adamant that the pool be fixed by July 4, so it would look nice when he turned the city into a showcase for the nation’s 250th birthday party (and his own 80th a couple weeks earlier). That contributed to the big rush.

• Trump also awarded the no-bid contract to the company owned by his “pool guy,” bypassing the typical governmental process that aims to save taxpayers money. The contract ballooned to $13.1 million, after the president pledged that the work would cost only $1.8 million. When the pool turned green, Trump awarded a $1.7 million contract to a company owned by his cigar-chomping felon friend.

I stopped by the Reflecting Pool today. It still looks terrible — and many tourists agreed.

• Scores of tourists strolled alongside the pool today, peering through the tall fence that encloses the landmark. Black tarps cover certain portions of the metal barrier (for no apparent reason), and yellow caution tape blocks a portion of missing fence. Rakes, brooms, and skimmers bake in the sun alongside the pool. There wasn’t a single worker in sight. I spotted no fewer than five security cameras, despite no evidence that vandals ever tampered with the lining.

• In front of the Lincoln Memorial, I spotted a man wearing a shirt depicting an American flag and a dog tag, which read: “I’m a veteran, not a sucker and loser.” (Trump once disparaged servicemembers using those terms.)

• The man, named Eric, explained that he’s a decorated combat veteran who spent a year and a half in Vietnam. He had just finished visiting the Vietnam Memorial, where his crew chief and fellow medic are honored. He gazed at the Reflecting Pool with disgust.

• “It’s an atrocity,” said Eric, who’s visiting from St. Louis, Missouri. “It’s another example of him trying to put his mark on something to make himself feel bigger and better than everyone else.”

“Unbelievable,” one woman said to her companion, gesturing at the pool. “It looks like shit. I’m fed up.”

Meanwhile On The Pod...

The Midterms Are Getting WEIRD In Red States (10/12/26)

Look No Further Than Crooked Media

Get ready for Season 2 of Long Play -- Crooked's mini-series about what it will take to win in the South! As trust erodes within Trump's coalition and Senate races become more competitive, the stakes are higher than ever.

Jennifer Palmieri from Showtime's The Circus and award-winning journalist Errin Haines have spent months traveling across the American South to help us figure out what it will take to turn it blue.

A new episode drops on Monday! Subscribe to Long Play, wherever you get your podcasts.

What Else?

Prices rose 3.7 percent in September compared to the same month last year, which is more than economists expected. High gasoline prices and the boom in data center construction contributed to the rise.

Kimberly Guilfoyle told Trump officials that leaked text messages — which showed her asking a Trump donor for $100,000 to pay off her credit card — were AI-generated, in a doomed attempt to save her job as U.S. ambassador to Greece, according to the Wall Street Journal. Guilfoyle also allegedly asked Greek businessmen for $250,000 to help pay for her Mercedes G-Wagon, Daily Mail reports.

The Trump administration has delayed the release of federal data that will show the impact of the GOP’s tax cuts, implemented by the so-called One Big Beautiful Bill last year, on Americans. The numbers were supposed to be released in July and updated in September — but neither report has been released. A Trump official told Politico that the White House’s priority is releasing “accurate and reliable data.” Why doesn’t that make me feel reassured that we’re going to get the true story here?

The Department of Justice is investigating whether Rep. Ilhan Omar (D-MN) or her late father lied on immigration paperwork to eventually secure citizenship, according to the Washington Post. The investigation is suspect for a few reasons: It centers on decades-old paperwork from when Omar was a teenager, and it comes right before the midterms. It’s not normal for a government to persecute a politician and their family right before elections!

The family of a man killed by a tiger in a British zoo urged people to stop posting videos of the incident on social media, after Trump did exactly that. “Don’t ever mess with nature!” Trump captioned the post, which didn’t show the man’s death. In a statement, the family said that the videos are causing them “severe distress at an exceptionally vulnerable time.” Trump also posted an AI-generated video of himself playing with the tiger.

Sen. Jon Ossoff (D-GA) said that he doesn’t intend to run for president in 2028: “I have zero interest in running for president. I’m not running for president. I’m running for reelection to the Senate,” Ossoff said during a Georgia Senate debate last night. You know which other senatorial candidate claimed he wouldn’t run for president? Barack Obama.

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Light At The End...

The internet is dunking on Mark Zuckerberg after he was caught on video struggling to swallow a gulp of Guinness. A Wall Street Journal writer compared Zuckerberg’s facial expression to someone who has “just drunk from a fish bowl at a Petco,” “accidentally swallowed the little paper cup of fluoride at the dentist’s office,” and “never consumed a Guinness in his life.” Reminds me of that McDonald’s CEO who seemed to hate his own burger.

A 16-year-old boy in New York City used $500 of his savings to pay two dudes he found on Craigslist to post hundreds of flyers around the city, asking anyone with a “cool job and a big heart” to let him shadow them for a week. The high schooler, who wanted help figuring out what career path he might be interested in, has so far “shadowed a dog groomer, a radio show host and a ramen shop owner, and is reviewing requests from an airline captain and a tattoo artist,” the Journal writes. He even got one part-time job offer.

A small Welsh town has become famous for celebrating the life of Elvis Presley and hosting one of the world’s largest Elvis parties every year. Wales has no ties to the singer, nor did Elvis ever even tour outside the United States. But none of that matters. “Welsh people like to dress up,” one attendee said. “They like to have a party.”

Do you remember Gelato, the injured kitten who uses a wheelchair made of toy cars? Good news: He was adopted! Gelato’s owner has two other kittens with leg issues, named Bread Crumb and Sprinkles. Gelato reportedly spent his first night in his new home sleeping in his new owner’s arms.

Joni Mitchell officially became a U.S. citizen this week, six decades after moving to the United States. Her music is legendary, but she also has made some hilarious political quips. “‘Fuck Donald Trump,’ I love that song,” Mitchell once said, referring to the rap song.

Enjoy

chase on Twitter: "getting a job is easy all u have to do is get through 14 separate interviews, complete 6 aptitude tests, solve an unanswerable riddle, defeat a cyclops and steal his golden fleece, and be related to somebody at the company"