r/Fauxmoi • • 12h ago

POLITICS Katie Zacharia has been dismissed as White House Press Secretary after just 5 days in the role

https://www.nytimes.com/2026/10/16/us/politics/katie-zacharia-fired-press-secretary.html?smid=nytcore-ios-share
12.0k Upvotes

731 comments sorted by

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9.9k

u/jyw104 Jeff Bezos of the music industry 11h ago

It’s 0.45 Scaramuccis. That’s fast.

2.3k

u/NomNom83WasTaken 11h ago

Literally only clicked on this post to see if someone had bothered to do the math.

I appreciate you.

https://giphy.com/gifs/sux3apBJmurlx8pklt

1.4k

u/TCoMonteCristo 11h ago

1 Scaramucci = 235 hours, 11 minutes (14,111 minutes). Zacharia lasted approximately 109 hours, 37 minutes (assuming a midnight start on October 12 and ending at 1:37 PM on October 16). That puts her tenure at 0.4661 Mooches, or roughly 46.6% of a Scaramucci.

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u/frugalerthingsinlife 11h ago

Mooches is no longer the SI unit. It is now Zacharias.

Scaramucci's tenure lasted 1/0.4661 = 2.15 Zachs.

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u/auntpotato 11h ago

146

u/flynnfx 10h ago

79

u/Primrus 9h ago

This sub keeps me from believing the entire world has gone crazy. Y'all are hilarious.

17

u/lemonution some white people were thrown in the river 7h ago

At least once a week while reading fauxmoi comments, I wonder why I can't find people like this to befriend irl.

14

u/EmotionalTrufflePig Stellan Skarsgard's Nobel Peace Prize for producing hot sons 8h ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/9rRacglGbs68E
Me running to Fauxmoi as soon as I saw this news 🤣

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u/LizardChaser 10h ago

What is the Planck length equivalent for a Trump official? Has anyone determined the smallest possible time-in-office? I think there maybe be a Nobel Prize in it for whoever can pull it off.

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u/auntpotato 11h ago

Appreciate the legwork on this one. I still can’t believe someone beat Scaramucci.

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u/missmeowwww 11h ago

Does October 12 count as a start date since it was a federal holiday?

53

u/RiversideAviator 10h ago

I’m not counting it. I originally had it at last Friday but that’s just the day he announced her hiring. Then Monday was a holiday and all reports say she showed up to the WH on Tuesday and was only given 30 minutes to see what was written up for her before walking to the podium.

I got her at 4 days and breaking the Mooch by 7, a calendar week.

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u/auderita 9h ago

Scaramooch Scaramooch can she do the fandango

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u/butipreferlottie 11h ago

A five day period will henceforth be known as a Zacharia in freedom units

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u/kamilo87 11h ago

133

u/Torontobabe94 both a lawyer and a hater 11h ago edited 11h ago

As a Canadian, I’m giggling at this 🤭 because it’s true

79

u/nekocorner i ain’t reading all that, free palestine 9h ago

It is, but also, I'm not sure we have any room to judge:

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u/CosmicToaster 11h ago

Do we have metric time units yet anyway?

57

u/ChelseaVictorious ‘queer’ is formal, like ‘tú’ vs ‘usted’ 11h ago

I can explain but I charge by the centihour.

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u/muscularsharpie 11h ago edited 11h ago

I charge by the centaur. Lot of overhead that doesn't match the rest of the expenses.

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u/Significant_Shoe_17 Fuck her and the Goebbel's limp dick she rode in on 10h ago
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u/LuntiX 11h ago

Time is already metric. Seconds are metric.

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u/fiercelyambivalent 11h ago

Then why aren’t there 100 seconds in a minute and 100 minutes in an hour? OMG metric time would be so awesome

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u/Jammin188 11h ago

From now on I will ask my wife to let me know when she gets her monthly Zacharia

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u/ChelseaVictorious ‘queer’ is formal, like ‘tú’ vs ‘usted’ 11h ago

Breaking News: Aunt Flo dismissed after falsifying claims of being a lawyer, vows to fight it in court. "The streets will run red if justice is not upheld" Flo stated, adding that "everyone pads their resumes".

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u/cgarcia805 11h ago

Noted. 

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u/3-orange-whips 11h ago

Have a great Zacharia-end

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u/Chopper-42 11h ago

Everyone made fun of her - that made them look weak and that's literally the only thing fascists can't allow.

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u/roninextra 11h ago

yet trump is the biggest punchline in the world and has been for a decade

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u/SamVickson stan someone? in this economy??? 11h ago

*five decades

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u/KeyFeeFee 11h ago

That fat gold naked statue in Europe is so emblematic of this

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u/dontworryaboutit26 i ain’t reading all that, free palestine 11h ago

That’s why we gotta keep that shit up!🥰

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u/Dry-Yak5277 11h ago

I know he’s thrilled someone beat his record lmao 

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u/kristenroseh 11h ago

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u/emeraldcityrunner 11h ago

Scarafreude

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u/unreasonableperson 10h ago

He's probably done the best in rehabbing his image after a Trump disaster, which isn't saying much.

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u/TypicalWhitePerson 11h ago

Classic response. Bring him back! Mucci 2.0

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u/Pristine_Speech4719 11h ago

Four more Scaramuccis!

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u/chicklette WHAT IN THE WORD SALAD FROM GOOP KITCHEN 11h ago

They might beat his record, but he's never escaping the measurement.

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u/OmaHateflight 11h ago

On podcast, he was saying he was hoping to keep the record.

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u/Turdship_ButtleFlaps 11h ago

Nice that he owns it, lesser people would have used insults or intimidation or god help us if they had any power, used government forces to silence...

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u/DoJu318 11h ago

Scaramucci didn't last long not because he couldn't lie, he didn't last long because he looked uncomfortable lying.

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u/RiversideAviator 10h ago

Wasn’t it because of his general demeanor and finance bro attitude that rubbed some the wrong way at a time when they were at least trying to convey a semblance of professionalism? I sort of remember some foul mouthed, obnoxious, and conceited texts being leaked.

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u/HiHoRoadhouse 11h ago

What is it in lettuce?

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u/jyw104 Jeff Bezos of the music industry 11h ago

Think it might be a 0.1 Truss?

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u/adognamedspider 10h ago

Approximately 1/6 Truss, I think.

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u/NeenerNeaner 11h ago

literal first thought was "but how many mooches" thank you 

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u/macjester2000 11h ago

so, one K-zack = 0.45 Scaramuccis, mark that down for the test

13

u/Soci3talCollaps3 11h ago

Did not last even as long as a Walmart banana, purchased ripe.

10

u/redelectro7 just want to share a thought here because I can 11h ago

So happy this is the first comment I saw.

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u/R1ngBanana 11h ago

Jesus I knew it wouldn’t be much but the fact it wasn’t even 1 Mucci length is wild 

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u/No-Hall-3485 high priestess of child sacrifice 11h ago

okay, so now we know that being able to read and speak are prerequisites for being a press secretary

it's always good to learn something new

418

u/bucket_o_chickn 11h ago

The way I can hear this picture 🤭

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u/Training_Molasses822 The old magic will not be discussed with the children of new. 11h ago

that's—a slave hymn

176

u/Spainstateofmind full of gay men. And me. 11h ago
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u/denM_chickN i too steal from the wizard of Oz 11h ago

And, in fact, a history of lying about being a lawyer (illegal) is not "inconsequential".

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u/00017batman 8h ago

It can be a point of confusion since being able to lie like a mofo is (apparently) essential to the position.

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u/Glennmorangie 11h ago

I think the requirement she broke was don't become the story. Trump doesn't like people taking away the spotlight even for a minute.

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u/ashre9 10h ago

He also hates people who don't look confident on camera. His people can say the most insane, vile, incomprehensible shit, but they need to project his version of strength while doing so. Her fumbling embarrassed him.

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u/Unnamedgalaxy 9h ago

Yeah people saying it took attention away from him aren't really getting the actual point.. KKKaroline took attention all the time. The difference is dumb bitchery was confident

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u/ARAR1 11h ago

No one can be a bigger idiot in the administration than himself

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u/PIP-Mill-Operator 11h ago

I thought incompetence was enough for this admin.

https://giphy.com/gifs/jPAdK8Nfzzwt2

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u/kylezillionaire 10h ago

Rewatching west wing, not because it’s a phenomenal show, but because I have a kink for imagining even a semi-functional executive branch

Also I like Bradley Whitford

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u/Sassafras06 9h ago

Josh Lyman is my all time fictional crush.

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u/zardozLateFee 11h ago

unexpected bisexual lighting.

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u/xmetallidethx 11h ago

as of October 16, 2026, dont forget that

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u/Microflyome 11h ago

So it's just gonna be one SNL sketch now instead of a series of cold opens

771

u/Tbplayer59 11h ago

They should start the sketch, and then immediately without explanation, everyone shouts, "Live! From New York..." and the opening credits roll.

154

u/SharpPink_GlitterInk Pink…get doon 11h ago

I would DIE lmao

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u/Finalgirl2022 I'm sorry Etsy Witches, I wasn't familiar with your game 11h ago

I am trying to be psychic enough to send this into the writers brains because I need it.

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u/SharpPink_GlitterInk Pink…get doon 11h ago

literally the should just have trump be like "This is our new press secretary okay introduce yourself" and then she does and he just cuts her off with a "ur fired... and live from new york"

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u/embracethepale 11h ago

Bring in ScarJo to go to the podium but have someone someone push her away as soon as she opens her mouth to speak lol

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u/Tigerpride84 11h ago

It’s gotta be Colin right?

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u/IvaldiFhole 11h ago

Yes, Colin should play Katie Zacharia.

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u/Spope2787 10h ago

Zacharia asked for sacrjo (because she's even dumber than you think and she thinks she can pick). So the joke here would be she gets her wish... Just for her to not have a single line 

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u/Daphnus-and-Chloe 11h ago

Don’t give them ideas this good for free!

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u/butipreferlottie 11h ago

Just have a series of overly botoxed blondes go past the camera on an airport conveyor belt

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u/jenorama_CA 11h ago

Bring back Spicy!

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u/boneydog22 11h ago

I would love for him to bust through and run her off stage in his mobile podium

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u/ThatBitchBunBruh 10h ago

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u/SlimShadyPinesMa 8h ago

Melissa McCarthy as Sean Spicer on SNL, was one of the best things she’s ever done haha the second best thing: Sean spicer on dancing with the stars. Lmao

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u/JuliasTooSmallTutu 11h ago

Too bad they are off for the nest two weeks. Everyone will have moved on by then.

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u/77Columbus 10h ago

SNL is dark this week and next, this will seem like old news by then.

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u/DougIsMyVibrator 11h ago

My friend said "the one thing the president hates is bad television."

She was bad television.

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u/BombTheDodongos 11h ago

That is most certainly not the only thing he hates, but I agree with the sentiment.

237

u/Stormtomcat 11h ago

Mamdani gets a lot of good press, and Trump was super cordial to him, right? While you'd think he would hate a Muslim democrat who taxes the rich. 

I know it's only one data point, but it suggests Trump can get over his hate pretty easily, no? 

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u/brianlefebvrejr Fauxmarxist 11h ago

No it means trump is influenced by charm and charisma exceptionally easy. Which is very dangerous for a world leader.

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u/Great_expansion10272 11h ago

So that's why his voters see themselves in him

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u/cauldrons 10h ago

Trump also loves winners and rubbing shoulders with beloved figures. Mamdani is incredibly good at his job, the people love him, and he beat Cuomo handedly. That's catnip for Trump.

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u/eraserhead__baby 11h ago

They also had a shared “enemy” to dunk on (Cuomo). I would bet real money that a significant portion of their conversation was Trump shitting on Cuomo and Mamdani politely laughing along. Which is also very dangerous for a world leader. All you have to do is be charming and make fun of a Democrat and Trump will roll over.

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u/lostandlooking_ women’s wrongs activist 10h ago

No… I don’t think him being cordial to a Muslim man means he doesn’t hate Muslims.

The same way plenty of misogynists are still married with daughters.

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u/Captn_Platypus 11h ago

Trump loves a strong man and winner, if Abdul wins Id expect the same treatment from Trump.

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u/Important-Agent2584 10h ago

It's pretty common that people behave differently in person, as if the big picture did not exist.

Like if you had lunch with Hitler it might be a normal lunch, you might even get along.

Mamdani probably just charmed him and they got along great for a while, and might again if they meet in person. It doesn't change the big picture.

On top of that, i don't think Trump gives a shit about religion or ideology. He cares about power and attention. He gets along great with authoritarians of every religion and ideology.

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u/TheDLBinc 11h ago

It's clear the only reason she was hired was because she looked good on TV (to MAGA men) and literally nothing else was taken into consideration

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u/gracecee 11h ago

I heard both Karoline and Susie wiles were arguing against her before she was hired but Trump hired her anyway.

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u/YVRJon 11h ago

Not just because she looked good on TV, but specifically because she looked like Ivanka.

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u/Easy_Money_ 11h ago

She was great television for all of us 🍿

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u/Wpg-katekate 11h ago

Don’t forget us Canadians. We’re apparently the worst.

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u/Head_Patience7136 11h ago

Grand opening and grand closing

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u/BuddahSack full of gay men. And me. 11h ago

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u/Head_Patience7136 11h ago

We don't need an Encore 🙏🏾🙏🏾

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u/Realistic-Stress8642 11h ago

I'VE BECOME SO NUMB (to American politics)

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u/EastBayBeast510 11h ago

Fresh out the frying pan and into the fryer

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u/M4GN3T1CM0N0P0L3 11h ago

Crack the can open again.

  • Pete Hegseth

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u/oochiewallyWallyserb 11h ago

Who you gon' find doper than her?

With no spin, just draw off inspiration?

Soon you gonna see you can always replace her

With cheap imitations-for this administration!

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u/Lopsided_Parfait7127 11h ago

the bar has been low for trump's press secretaries

but i guess she couldn't pass even that

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u/Musical_Xena 11h ago

It was a low bar to trip over.

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u/Adezar 9h ago

Failing the bar is her brand.

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u/Worth_Lavishness_239 Either decision is fine. Neither decision is news. 11h ago

Because smart women don’t want that job 😭

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u/AndYouHaveAPizza I was inches from her. No problems. 10h ago

I'm no fan of Karoline Leavitt, but I'll concede she's a fairly intelligent woman and stayed in that role far longer than I would have expected her to.

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u/mace_guy 9h ago

I guess drowning in debt and having an unsupportive geriatric husband tends to improve on the job performance.

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u/orangefreshy 8h ago

after seeing this last person, I'm actually impressed with Karoline. She hasn't had any other jobs or a lot of public speaking experience. She made it look sort of easy, she lies with such ease and confidence!

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u/Fragrant-Dimension12 11h ago edited 10h ago

What a wild week!

A literal work week.

Edited to add:

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u/Sullythewizard 11h ago

Less than a work week if we let them win labor disputes

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u/PiccoloAwkward465 11h ago

didn't even set up her email signature yet

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u/CycIon3 oat milk chugging bisexual 11h ago edited 11h ago

Good.

But also, I do want to point out that if Katie was a man in that role, they would have stayed throughout the rest of the term.

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u/wittgenstein1312 i ain’t reading all that, free palestine 11h ago

Scaramucci lasted 10 days, and KKKaroline lasted years and far longer than she should’ve

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u/Soggy_Biscuit__ 11h ago

I hear you, and KKKaroline is a soulless immoral husk, but she was perfect at doing the job she was hired to do - lie, deflect, and gaslight everything and everyone

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u/leahjuu 10h ago

Yeah she never seemed uncomfortable or unprepared; just very prepared to lie about everything unashamedly

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u/SinVerguenza04 10h ago

And that takes skill.

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u/Kind_Of_A_Dick 8h ago

I'd feel sorry for her for being sold to her father's old friend, but she just leaned into being evil too much.

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u/SinVerguenza04 10h ago

Karoline is a terrible, disgusting person but no one can say she wasn’t great at what they wanted her to do. She was very quick on her feet when it came to spinning lies and propaganda. Again, she’s a terrible human being, but she was damn good at what she did.

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u/festivus4allofus 11h ago

Less job security than being the prime minister in the uk. That's genuinely impressive. No one can take that away from them!

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u/BlahVans 11h ago

Someone needs to see whether the next one lasts longer than a head of lettuce.

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u/Accomplished-Pen-394 why am i turned on by his handwriting though 11h ago

When they announce the next one I’ll buy a head of lettuce and see what happens

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u/the_honest_liar 11h ago

Just.. you know, not American lettuce.

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u/durqandat 10h ago

This is actually a great use for American lettuce as its remains safely unconsumed

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u/Lil_Artemis_92 woman externalizing rage 11h ago edited 11h ago

New measurement of time now released.

A fortnight is 14 days.

A Scaramucci is 13. [Edit: 11 days]

And a Zacharia is 5.

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u/liabt 11h ago

Correction. One scaramucci = 11 days

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u/Lil_Artemis_92 woman externalizing rage 11h ago

My bad.

22

u/denM_chickN i too steal from the wizard of Oz 11h ago

1 Scaramucci:2.6 Zacharia

For the data nerds 🤓

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u/TCoMonteCristo 11h ago

1 Scaramucci = 235 hours, 11 minutes (14,111 minutes). Zacharia lasted approximately 109 hours, 37 minutes (assuming a midnight start on October 12 and ending at 1:37 PM on October 16). That puts her tenure at 0.4661 Mooches, or roughly 46.6% of a Scaramucci.

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u/Open-Salamander-9640 11h ago

Certainly not going to defend her. Don’t let the door hit you on the way out, Katie.

But has anyone else noticed that the majority of people Trump has fired super publicly as of late have been women? Shocker.

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u/rapturaeglantine 11h ago

Kristi Noem and Pam Bondi are gone but Kash Patel is doing great? Lol

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u/Important_Setting840 9h ago

Same reason why Elizabeth Holmes is in prison and has a movie about her but Musk and decade of self driving promises and 9 year old quarter million dollar roadster deposits are a footnote.

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u/Icy-Lobster-203 10h ago

Bondi failed to hide the Epstein files. Norm and Guolfoile were getting their beekes wet without giving Trump his cut.

Patel and Hegseth are loyal. And that is ultimately all that matters.

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u/Medford_Lanes 11h ago

I believe it’s almost 100%

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u/violetmemphisblue 11h ago

It's definitely being noted. There have been several news stories the past few days about how many women have left (involuntarily or voluntarily) and the rate that they are replaced by men (nearly all of them). And a few stories have included comparing controversies or issues of the women to men doing similar things, and how the men have not received similar punishments or oustings.

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u/-Schadenfreudegasm- 11h ago

Hasn't he called his hiring practice "central casting"? He's hiring these particular women for looks, not qualifications.

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u/Senasayori pop culture obsessed goblin 11h ago

It's almost like he's misogynistic or something...

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u/butipreferlottie 11h ago

I'm sure she can find another MLM scheme to bother people with

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u/ChampionSignificant 11h ago

You just know it will be Amway.

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u/butipreferlottie 11h ago

She'd be Betsy DeVos' downline!

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u/VaticRogue 11h ago

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u/CommonComb3793 11h ago

This made me laugh out loud so hard. 😂🤣. It’s funny because it’s true!

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u/Eunomia28 11h ago

I keep hearing from these MFers about how minorities (especially Black people) in good jobs aren't qualified for them, and were only hire due to DEI/Affirmative Action. These are the same people who hire the most supremely underqualied for important roles.

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u/Jimbohamilton 11h ago

Meritocracy!

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u/lnc_5103 not a lawyer, just a hater 11h ago

Damn didn't even last like half of a Scaramucci!

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u/Lillian_Crocodilian 11h ago

It's called a Zacharia now. I don't make the rules.

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u/Symbiotic_vengeance wouldn’t pick a fight with Alan Ritchson 11h ago

lol and, if I may, lmfao

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u/djlemma 11h ago

Well that was quick...

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u/BreweryRabbit God herself couldn’t get me to turn the volume on right now 11h ago

Just in time for the holiday!

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u/Significant_Shoe_17 Fuck her and the Goebbel's limp dick she rode in on 10h ago

For those who don't want to be the tenth person at the party riffing off the Kelly Clarkson x Art of Play controversy

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u/StyxQuabar 11h ago

Super sad that they are too dumb to realize the irony of being against DEI, then hiring an under-qualified, privileged young white person to royally fuck up the job.

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u/Federal-Echidna9774 11h ago

Huh. I wonder if there's a process to validate if employees are gonna be suitable for their job?  

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u/Sea-Dragonfruit-6963 11h ago

No, they just have to look like the daughter he wants to f

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u/anne_tifah_ 11h ago

So willing to fire the incompetent women.

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u/fourcheers 11h ago

For real. The men get to be fuck ups time and time again with no consequence

33

u/Coleecolee Please Abraham, I am not that man 11h ago

28

u/mackyoh societal collapse is in the air 11h ago

I have a roll of toilet paper that’s lasted longer — and me and my husband have had upset tummies last night!

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u/flowersinmyteas Sylvia Plath did not stick her head in an oven for this! 11h ago

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u/tech_and_org call me gal gadot cuz idk how to act rn 11h ago

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u/Naive-Inside-2904 i ain’t reading all that, free palestine 11h ago

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u/Rough-Reply1234 11h ago

God, I would be so embarrassed. I can’t even imagine. Girl went out of her way to get Trump’s attention and moved across the country for a 5 day gig. Will she turn on him now?

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u/[deleted] 11h ago

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u/verchiels The bulge that broke them 11h ago
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u/Rough-Reply1234 11h ago

Zacharia is the new Scaramucci…

Did the lettuce last longer?

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u/mackyoh societal collapse is in the air 11h ago

Next in line: an old, haunted & soiled doll! (Stephen miller???)

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u/gregRichards2002 11h ago

I wouldn’t be shocked if Kimberly Guilfoyle is her replacement.

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u/GlutenFree_Gamer 11h ago

Don't worry he'll put someone with even less experience in the position.

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u/Bignosenick 11h ago

Sprinted here when I saw the headline