The title hopefully says it all. Write away my girls ❤️‍🔥

I am curious to get a discussion going on leanfire & medical retirement.

I haven't really seen this question posed in any of the fire subs, and would appreciate any thoughts or insights as I navigate planning for a disabled future.

Due to several health complications outside of my control, I have to medically retire. Long story short, it has been determined by multiple medical providers that I cannot return to any of my previous roles/ physical requirements, according to ADA accommodation paperwork guidelines. I cannot even drive for a rideshare, which was my plan Z! I loved driving but cannot do it safely at this time.

I've had multiple surgeries and outpatient procedures, none of which had any complications or issues, but were nevertheless deemed "unsuccessful" due to a lack of substantial improvement. I've been doing everything I can to get better, and things have really only gotten worse.

There is no foreseeable future where I will be able to earn income through employment based on my health conditions.

I just turned 40.

I have no savings or assets, not even a car or a TV. No retirement accts.

In 2024, I left a marriage with my life, and little else.

I have an active SSA application, and best case scenario, I will get approved for an estimated monthly payment of ~$1800/ mo, and backpay of maybe $20k.

That's it.

I live in WA, am currently on Medicaid (apple health). No medical costs or copays. (Very grateful for this.)

I receive $450/mo in cash benefits & $290 in EBT.

I live with some incredible friends who are allowing me to stay at no cost. I would be homeless without them. Even still, $450 does not go far. I cannot save any money with how expensive everything is these days. I go hungry every month. I haven't had a (1) full meal even once this week, which is what I have to do ~10 days out of every month. $290 was not enough 2 years ago, and it buys even less today. This is very hard, and there is no end in sight. 

While I am truly grateful to live in a place where I can access these resources, two things can be true simultaneously. This is a bleak and depressing future IMO, and I have really struggled to come to terms with the options available to me whenever I do *fingers crossed* get approved to SSDI, which then comes with medicare costs.

I dunno if it's stupid optimism or denial, but the last thing I wanted in life was to lose my independence and ability to work, and to have to rely on SSDI from ages 40-67. I didn't just put myself through 2 degrees as a first generation college graduate, to end up poorer than I ever been in my life; even in high school, I was making $500+/ mo. This is awful.

My future will revolve around medical and housing costs. I will be more or less stuck wherever I can find an affordable apartment, as low-income housing is already very hard to get into, and has a years-long waitlist. (I have already been on waitlist(s) for 2+ years). I won't have much of a choice on where I get to live. It needs to be ADA accessible, which limits my opinions significantly (can't do stairs).

I completed a MBA in the UK in 2020, built up a great network there, but with covid, struggled to find a sponsored job, and was ultimately offered a great role at Microsoft, which required me to relocate back to the US (Seattle) in early 2021. I loved working at Microsoft, until the layoffs started.

I only got 3 years of a professional salary before losing the chance to make 6 figures.. I had saved money for years to afford a downpayment on a house, then bought a house with a SO (that I thought was a decent person, my mistake), and was laid off weeks later, right as my health was becoming a lot more complicated. 

As soon as unemployment ran out, my SO of 9 years turned into someone I didn't recognize, and unfortunately they are partly to blame for some of the health issues being managed at this time. I went through a brutal divorce in 2024-25. I had poured nearly all my money into our home purchase, then used whatever cash I had to survive once we separated.

The divorce left me with nothing. The home was eventually foreclosed on, and the car was surrendered.

I sincerely hope that my health eventually stabilizes and allows for some type of self-employment or PT work, but for now, I have to accept and let go of this dream. Reality is that I cannot work at this time, or any time soon. My health has deteriorated in spite of 3+ years of ~weekly medical appointments.

Right now, in my mind, my job getting healthier again. I rely on mobility aids like a walker, and hope to be able to walk without pain again someday. I have chronic headaches and migraines that frequently make it impossible to lay down or sleep. I have been unable to fall asleep (2) nights this week - just 0 winks of sleep. Cannot even lay down, I have to sit up all night or my head throbs.

I remember when pulling an all-nighter usually meant I was doing something fun or productive. I have never had severe pain prevent me from even laying down like this before. Misery is an understatement of the feelings I have about my body atm.

Any ideas of "move to X country, where COL is closer to $1k/mo" is something I hope I am able to do in the next 3-5 years, but definitely not in the near future. I could not feasibly move anywhere outside of WA any time soon.

Plu my tolerance for stress is basically 0. I'm tired, boss.

I don't need any comments on my ability to work (i.e., can't you just get a job at a coffee shop?). That's the whole crux of the issue - if only I could work, I wouldn't be in this situation.

FWIW, I cannot do most hobbies anymore, either. Even just using a computer or gaming is difficult to do now, and even more difficult to enjoy. I used to go hiking and backpacking regualrly (moved to WA for the outdoors), and man do I miss just walking w/o pain now. My hobbies consist of listening to YT and audiobooks. My life has no meaning or purpose atm, I dont know what to do with myself, but hey, I’m hanging in there.

Help me build and spin this into a more positive narrative.

**TL;DR:** I cannot willpower my way out of being disabled. Too disabled to work. Best chance is getting$1800/ mo in SSDI. No safety net, no assets, no inheritance, no... hope.

I am 29F, with a net worth in the low seven figures. I’ve recently told myself I’ll get married once I hit $2M. I’d feel comfortable taking bigger life risks once I hit this number (specifically a potential career pivot or moving to a high cost of living city) since I can’t really depend on my fiancés income at this moment to support both of us. Currently my personal spend is about 60 K per year. I am a senior software engineer in big tech. I think the idea is that I want to make sure that I reach my personal financial goals before combining finances with someone.

I tend to pre-worry about downside scenarios, so I can’t tell if this is sensible caution or irrational anxiety.

Did anyone set a financial milestone before marrying?

Edit: for context, this is not really my fire number, but this is in my head, a meaningful step forward toward it. and yes, I am getting a prenup.

I have a mix of index funds that I've started investing in since I became interested in FIRE. I'm a long ways off from early retirement (if it happens at all) and I feel my net worth is low compared to most here, but I feel like I may have some redundancy in my investments that I'm not sure what to do about. I'm thinking about finding an advice-only financial advisor for a one-time "check-up" session to take a look on what I have, and advise on any changes based on my goals. Have you ever done this before, and if so, how did you find them and how did it go? My hope is that I do this once, then don't really think about it again until I'm closer to retirement and need help with additional planning outside of the actual investment allocation mix.

Hello everyone!

I've always found some great advice and experience shared by others in this community. So coming here seeking for advice again.

I'm on the path to FIRE, yet far away from reaching my goal. I recently cleared off my student debts and started investing, so I'm really happy I did that.

Yet, everytime I look to similiar communities/ social media, I cannot help but feel really overwhelmed by seeing how much is yet to be done. Worse, when I see instagram posts like "How I became a millionaire by 26" or "How I earned 1M USD in one year" - I cannot help but feel how far behind I am, or how I might not be cut out for this path since I'm behind so many others.

While I find alot of helpful information on Instagram, it often also pushes similiar posts, so once you engage, you are bombarded with everyone earning more than 1 Mil on Instagram. This overwhelm makes me often more paralyzed by the weight of my ambitions rather than fueling me.

I do try to remind myself that everyone's path is different, and everyone is walking at their own pace. Social media also shows only one side of the story. Yet, I cannot help but feel overwhelmed and scared (and frozen) by the weight of how big this ambition is. I don't feel motivated or pumped to walk down the same path as much as I feel scared. I do not have anyone around me who shares similiar goals, so it's hard to discuss this in person.

Does anyone else feel this way - ambitious, yet scared by how big or delusion this ambition might seem? Does anyone feel scared / pressurized by the weight of their ambitions and comparision, rather than motivated?

I (20s, F) have unclaimed property that I'm working with my state to get returned, so I'm expecting to receive ~$2000 sometime in the coming months. My bills are paid, my Roth IRA is maxed out, my emergency fund is taken care of, and I only have like $1200 left in student loans.

I'm thinking my main options are 1) my hysa 2) my brokerage 3) wipe out student loans and save/invest the rest. Another part of me wants to use a small portion of the money for something fun, like a date night with my partner or earmark for our next vacation.

What would you do if you received a small windfall of $2000?

TL;DR: I realized I can expat fire, so we're moving to Spain as soon as the visas are approved and the house is sold.

Longer version: My (41F) partner's (47M) job was DOGE'ed in March of 2025, and he hasn't been able to find an acceptable job since. He's ex special forces, so physically-demanding and peopling-heavy jobs are off the table (yes he's on meds and in therapy). Since our friends fled to Spain after the 2024 election results, he's been trying to convince me that we should also flee, but unlike them, I'm not convinced the US is so far gone already that we can't come back from this.

Fast forward a year and a half, and work has become progressively unbearable. Everyone's mental health has declined, there's been a rash of suicides, and we're all worried about losing our jobs. I was originally aiming to retire here in the States in about five years, but said I'd consider retiring in Spain instead and did a very quick glance of what that would look like financially. Then there was yet another change at work at the beginning of September that has been like a dark cloud over everyone's heads, so I just wanted out. I did a much more thorough calculation of how we could make this work, and I realized I could retire today. I won't share my numbers since the main reason I can do this is because I have 100% P&T VA disability, and I can't recommend going that route (imagine needing hip surgery at the old, old age of 30).

I'm still working right now so that my savings aren't drained while getting the house ready for sale, while waiting on visa approvals, and because... I'll be honest: this has been such a sudden change that I don't know how to quit just yet, how to just not work anymore. Our goal is to move mid July, so my plan is to keep working up until we leave, but my friends have started making bets on how much sooner I'll quit. One suggested quitting in January and going to school for a semester to use my GI Bill since BAH will help stem the hemorrhage, and that actually sounds really great. This revelation has breathed new life into me. Already I find myself asking, "Why am I stressing myself out about making up hours? What are they going to do... fire me?!?"

Anyway, I'm not sure this will be helpful to anyone else, but I'm freaking out (in a good way). I don't know what to do with my hands, and I'm hoping there are others who have suddenly found themselves at the finish line who struggled to cross it who might have advice.

Hi there,

I'm a 35F on her way to FIRE, at her own pace. Hoping to make financially sound decisions without ignoring my feelings.

I've been struggling with a general sense of emptiness and meaninglessness for a few years. Yes, I've tried therapy. I've moved countries. I've changed my lifestyle. I've adopted a dog. I've slowly let go of self-victimisation. I've done a lot of things. Still, those feelings are always there, lurking.

I don't like the idea of owning anything. I also don't like the idea of depending on someone to be able to rent a place. This is, therefore, a matter of making a decision and sticking to it, understanding that nothing lasts forever and some things, such as this, are not definitive.

On one hand, buying would be the smart thing to do. Especially as I don't have a support system per se and have a dog; renting with a dog is harder. On the other hand, I do love it: if my neighbours end up being noisy or disrespectful, or the property has an issue, I can just move out, I don't pay any bills besides the usual.

Buying a house is great in the sense that you are building equity and 'no one' can kick you out. But if there are any repairs or anything major happens, you are the responsible one. If all of a sudden your beloved neighbours move out and shitty people take their place, your quality of life goes out the window.

At the same time, the housing market is unlikely to get any better. I live in a very tourist-oriented country, meaning globalisation is only making things harder. We can therefore expect things to 'get worse'.

I wanted to hear your experiences. It would be wonderful to hear from women who experienced it similarly and who ended up making a decision either way.

Thank you for reading and writing.

Ive had a financial advisor at Edward Jones just under 2 years now. This particular FA and Edward Jones office came as recommendations from multiple friends who said they were seeing some nice investments with them.

I have a mix of Traditional IRA, Roth IRA, and a third account that’s 50/50 stocks and mutual funds, totaling $60k. We have me on an “aggressive” plan since I’m investing alone, youngish (32), not a ton of debt, etc. In the two years, my annual return has been 10%. Shouldn’t it be more for FIRE?

(I’ve really tried to sit down and learn this stuff, but it doesn’t stick with me. Hence having a professional FA.)

I know it’s only been under 2 years, but I feel confused by the progress? Especially when I see posts on here that say “my investments went from 100k to 500k in 3 years. How are yall achieving that? What am I missing here?

My financial goals are to invest heavily and make big returns. (😅) I probably sound so dumb saying that, lol because again, I’m struggling to grasp it all. I can only speak in laymen’s terms. I would also be interested in buying property in the next 2-5 years. The prices where I’d buy are around $250k-$450k.

I know a lot of this is a waiting game. But this is also FIRE, so I’m not trying to wait until I’m 65! What should I be asking and telling my FA at our next appointment? Not sure I’ve mentioned FIRE to her yet, maybe I need to?

Thanks for any tips. Laymen’s language is helpful!

Some context:
-60k invested (traditional IRA, Roth, stocks, mutuals)
-$100k HYSA (planning on moving a huge chunk of this into investments once I wrap up an expensive move)
-$110k salary before taxes (around $6,500 monthly take-home)
-$15k left in student loans
-Low COL (just under $3k monthly)

Sorry if this breaks any rules!! I’m 23F, and inherited a fair amount of money last year after my grandmother passed away. I currently have ~150k sitting in a HYSA at Capital One, and have been trying to figure out what to do with it.

I’ve read a lot of the posts on here about the index fund set-it-and-forget-it approach, but the idea of doing that by myself feels really intimidating, and honestly is a big part of why i’ve stalled on doing anything with the money even though I know it could be doing a lot more. I’m convinced that if I invest my money myself I’ll lose it all lol.

I met with an advisor at Fidelity to talk through getting started because they have that service for free, but I also took everything with a grain of salt since he would obviously be biased in his advice to some degree. He suggested I take ~100k and put it into a managed investment account through them where they take out a % as a fee. And then use the rest as emergency fund/potential moving costs as I’m likely moving this year because i’ll be switching jobs.

Is the managed account a good idea? I’ve thought about using it just as a starting point and then managing it myself down the road? I’m pretty torn about what to do, and i’m limited in options of in-person people to discuss this with, because none of my friends have as much in savings as me, and I don’t want to come off as bragging. Any advice would be so so appreciated!!!

Edit: Thank you SO much everyone who gave me advice!! I genuinely appreciate it so much. I decided I will not be pursuing the managed account, and will have to push through the intimidation to get started myself :) The support really helped a lot! 💚

Hi. Do you have any book recommendations on estate planning specific for women? I feel like I am not well versed in this area and would like to be more equipped for the unfortunate event of my own passing. I have spoken to an attorney but I feel like I do not have the background knowledge to ask for what I want.

I believe that my spouse will be well taken care of, both financially and physically, since he'll be entitled to social security survivor benefits. He has his own retirement account and we have two rental properties that he'll be able use for his own retirement.

I am particularly interested in the care of our children since I have a child who is under the age of 18 and another child who is over 18. Both are my main concern since they'll rely on my spouse for financial support. I believe my spouse would care for them in my absence but I can't control who he may marry. I have seen spouses remarry and disinherit their children from their first marriage.

We live in a community property state and the attorneys that I've spoken with have mostly pushed for leaving all assets to my spouse and then after the passing of my spouse, our assets would then get distributed to our children. How do I prevent our children from being disinherited if my spouse does remarry? I understand we could add a provision to require the surviving spouse to get a prenup before their second marriage, but this does not prevent the surviving spouse to spend down all assets before their passing. This is our first marriage and we are both the biological parents of our children. Do I advocate for distributing my half of our assets to our children, upon my death? How are you all planning to handle all of this? And do your plans take into consideration taxes, medicaid eligibility, etc? There is such a great slew of things to consider that I am assuming there is a book out there that would address most of these.

We don't have a prenup or a postnup. Maybe I need to consider a postnup? I am the breadwinner of the family.

Hi girls! I'm approaching 40, and my net worth is almost $2 million. I'd like to find a man with a similar or higher net worth who is emotionally intelligent, empathetic, and takes care of his health. Is that too much to ask? 😂

For those of you who have found a partner like this, how did you meet him? Were there any signs or characteristics you looked for on dating apps that helped you identify these qualities early on? Are there specific things I should look for in a man's profile or ask on a first date?

My previous long-term relationship was emotionally abusive, and my ex lacked empathy, although most people wouldn't notice that side of him when they first met him. This experience has made me more careful about choosing my next partner.

I'm also curious whether political views matter. My ex is conservative, so I'm wondering whether political beliefs have any connection to emotional maturity and empathy, or whether it really depends on the individual.

I'd love to hear your experiences and advice! ❤️

Looking for big sis advice/support as I rethink my personal and financial goals.

I joined this group several years ago in my mid-20s when I was single and in an intense grad program. I was highly ambitious and entrepreneurial and the world was my oyster - maybe even I could FIRE by 45. A couple years later, I burned out in my grad program, crawled my way to the finish line. I’m now in my early 30s married to a guy I’m so grateful to call my partner.

I’m still struggling with the expectations I had of myself when I was 25. I’m now in my second job out of grad school making $120k in a career that isn’t what I went to school for. My partner became severely underemployed this year and is actively trying to pivot his career. We live in a HCOL area and are not particularly frugal but certainly live within our means. My retirement and savings look decent ($50k in 401k, $140k in IRAs, $80k in brokerage, $100k in joint savings, no debt, no real estate). Nothing to brag about in this environment I guess. But my partner is so behind with retirement and there’s nothing I can do but wait for him to get a new job, so I try to focus on what I can do for myself.

Given that I’m creating a career for myself that deviates from what I studied (I’m trying to rebrand myself as a healthcare business-y person), I don’t have much to guide me in my career growth except financial milestones. I’m pushing myself to hit $150k by my next job. Why? Because it feels like the right thing to do.

Grinding to get a consulting role felt like an obvious solution - ambitious, high pay, prestigious - until I realized (1) I really don’t care about ambition and prestige anymore as long as the people don’t suck and (2) I really can’t burn out in a high pressure environment again. I’m still managing the physical health consequences from last time. It’s such a catch 22- I feel like i need to significantly improve my financial status so I can reach other life goals like travelling internationally and being a parent without financial anxiety. But the quickest paths to getting there financially feel risky in other ways.

There’s some mourning here. I’m not some tireless machine that can achieve anything and everything I set my mind to, like I once thought I was.

Do I just try to find the highest paying non-consulting job that I can tolerate? Do I find a job I enjoy that gives me a modest salary bump? Am I even asking the right questions?

I’m grateful for any advice or perspectives to sort through this. I have a therapist, but talking to others helps more.

How's the week looking for you? Hit any milestones? Have any questions?

I was able to travel for 3 weeks to a few different countries and it was amazing. But I have to say I came back hating work more than ever.

Got back to a flooded email inbox and a million things to catch up on. Also learned I have a new boss (literally a different one at least every year) as well as a huge re-org for the millionth time.

On top of that it was announced our productivity including mouse clicks, key strokes, and screen time were al being monitored and that we need to be active for 8+ hours every day no exceptions.

To go from sitting at a beautiful cafe enjoying life and exploring new cities to go back to sitting in a cubicle feeling used and abused is a harsh reality.

I think sabbatical would push me over the edge and just cause me rage quit at this point 😂

Does anyone have any recommendations for how a total novice would go about getting and then using a financial advisor?

TBTH, I am 45 years old and STILL don’t know much or understand the workings around investing, 401Ks, etc.

My salary is 140k currently. I have a good chunk of money in my 401k, a decent amount of savings and a small amount of stock from my job. But with the current administration and the way the economy is taking a nosedive, I'm interested in getting a financial advisor to guide me in the right direction on how I should build my portfolio and stop Elon from getting to my money.

However, I'm totally embarrassed that I don’t understand much about investing and savings - aside from its important and it needs to be done. I grew up in government housing and struggle with dyscalculia, so when it comes to actually talking about finances, it sounds totally foreign to me and doesn’t make much sense. Because of this, I don’t do much with my savings aside from keeping it in the bank and letting Fidelity tell me what I should do with my 401k. I’ve tried to do the research myself, but I'm so worried I'm going to do something stupid because of the lack of understanding.

I'd like to meet with a financial advisor just once to get an idea or a better understanding, but since I don’t know much, I'm worried I'm going to get scammed somehow.

I'm curious to know how ppl in the same situation have handled this or if anyone has any solid advice without making this middle-aged woman feel like she’s getting screamed at in algebra class again.

I’m 100% Lean FI - my retirement is fully funded and I own my house outright. I decided to work a coast job as a PreK Teacher Assistant instead of grinding 2 more years in Senior Management to reach FatFI and fully retire.

I (44F) love my Coast job. The work is stress-free, with clear boundaries and very reasonable hours. My coworkers are supportive, kind, and caring. I have zero sexism battles or office politics to navigate.

I worried my financial situation would be intimidating to potential partners - but they are daunted by MY AMBITION!

The last two men I dated struggled with my work schedule. Sure, I start at 8am rather than 9 or 10, but I was in a 15-year long relationship with someone who tended to go to sleep a few hours later than me, without issue. I work 40 hours a week, take yoga 6 times and week, and socialize in my spare time. I get 60 days of paid vacation. To me, I have a very chill life!!!

These men seem accustomed to women who overly accommodate to them, rather than have a fully realized sense of self. I will not make myself small for the comfort of a man. I will manifest a romantic partner who embraces my confidence and self love!

Hi Firey Femmes. I (29F) have a net worth of $550k, having gotten to this number after achieving $100k net worth in 2021. I’m freaking out because I don’t feel like I have enough yet to be comfortable and slow down as I enter my thirties. In my twenties, I didn’t really pay attention to my career, acted childish and like I was owed things instead of working towards them. I started my career strong in tech (non tech role) then it got rocky before I got lucky a few years ago with a company that IPOd. Most people became millionaires who started around that time, I did not. I did get a good chunk of money and will (I’m only 40% vested on approx $900k of equity, over the next 4 years).

I am turning thirty soon. I live in a VHCOL city. I had big dreams but feel like I fucked up kind of coasting through life. I’m only doing “okay” because I got lucky. I save like crazy.

The other source of anxiety comes from my life partner. My partner doesn’t have as lucrative as a job and is working towards financial literacy but carries some debt. I think we will get married but I worry that for a woman, who you marry determines your financial success. Sadly.

I am a mostly just venting but would love a financially conscious femme who is 30+ to help me out here:
- is $550k in a VHCOL enough to relax?
- how should you try to get your partner on the same trajectory? Is it possible?

Hi all,

Anyone here working towards FIRE in Europe? I can't really relate to the American posts with their 1 million portfolios haha. And I don't think we need as much to live a decent life here in Europe.

I'm working towards half a million (euro) plus paid off house with garden, chickens, solar panels to live a more self-sufficient lifestyle while still having a passive income from portfolio.

If you're in Europe what are your plans and goals for FIRE?

$1,002,023 to be exact between my Roth, 401k and brokerage accounts. Yes, I know it will fluctuate and probably dip below the magic $1 million line and that's okay... I'll just celebrate again when it goes back up.

Cheers to everyone here and I hope you too are seeing investing success.

I'm leaving my engineering job. I hit my FI number a couple years ago and on paper I'm good to go. The job isn't toxic but it's become something I don't want to do anymore. In my head I am categorizing this as a sabbatical rather than a full retirement. It's a big step and no going back once I talk to boss. Please send encouraging thoughts!

Edit: I did it. Boss is in shock. was in a daze yesterday but feeling good about it today!

I’m 36F and have about $660,000 CAD invested across both reg and non reg accounts. I have about $100,000 in cash which I appreciate is too much- and I own a home jointly with my spouse that has about $400-$450,000 equity- with a $400,000 remaining mortgage. I make around $120,000 a year and my spouse makes $140,000. We have no plans on children. We have not commingled our finances except for a joint account which pays our mortgage and other house related expenses. We have a good system going on and have been together for a long time. My spouse loves their career and will probably stick with it and move up in the next 5-10 years. I have experienced burnout in the last year with life related events and have taken a six month leave from work. I’m considering a career change to something more part time but no sure that’s prudent because I know there’s no going back. In my head I’m trying to get to 40 before doing anything nuclear.

Spend wise we spend about $70,000 a year- between everything mortgage, travel etc. We don’t live lavishly but we also don’t track every dollar and like to splurge on vacations. I’d like to fully retire by 45-50. Spoken to my financial advisor and they tell me I’m nowhere near. They also base their calculations on me living to like 95….which I have no plans on doing…… any insight or comments I’d appreciate!

How's the week looking for you? Hit any milestones? Have any questions?