In California.
My mother and her husband married 20 years ago. Each have adult children from previous marriages, but none together. They created a standard marital trust setup, which generally gave his 4 kids 50%, and myself and my sister 50%. After 10 years, my mom was 'coerced' (not in a illegal way) in to switching it so each kids got 1/6th. They lived in CA this whole time.
Fast forward, after selling the house and moving to assisted living, and then after a few years, ultimately to memory care, her husband passed away. As it turns out, NONE of the assets were put in the trust, except the house. There was one account that the trust owned, and it had like $6K and that's it. but other than the house and their working expenses, the rest of their money was in retirement accounts, which never belong to a trust and can't be distributed directly to a trust. Anyway once they sold the house, the money was put in a joint account, and then that money went to my mom when he died. That was the only cash they had. He had an IRA worth about $300K, and that went directly to my mom as the beneficiary. So now, all of the accounts are soley in my moms name. Her estate attorney stated that it was fine to drain the trust account reasonably quickly, since it went to her assisted living rent, and the terms of the trust were that it could be used for maintenance before being distributed per the death stipulations.
My mom now wants to essentially give my sister and I most of the money by naming us as the beneficiaries for everything, and essentially leaving his kids 'something small' like 40K each. To be clear, my sister and I are fair minded and also financially independent (good jobs etc), not greedy.
Also, there's nothing shady going on, at no point did anything underhanded take place. And until his mental incapacitation, he handled all the money, and my mom did not. He had simply not funded the trusts for whatever reason, intentional or not intentional, but this was true from the beginning, there were no last-minute shenanigans.
I don't want to get in to a lot of the family drama, but his kids never liked my mom, didn't come visit (other side of the country in Virginia), and they were kind of jerks to her. They came to his funeral a year ago, and haven't given her so much as a phone call or email since. (not really relevant, except as partially a way to share my moms motivation that there's no love lost) My mom also wants to ensure her 'bloodline grandkids' get as much as she can give them.
So anyway, as it stands, we will get a much larger share of their estate than his kids. The trusts are empty.
I don't know if I feel guilty or not, but it certainly would seem unfair if I were on the other side of the deal. I don't feel like we have much risk for any challenges, but I'm a little concern as to if they really have some grounds to challenge anything, and also is it moral to accept the money as my mother wishes to give it. Also, I am my mothers POA which is a precaution against anything happening to her but I don't manage her day-to-day, so I am exceptionally careful about not interfering with anything related to her naming beneficiaries, etc.
I did actually encourage my mom to consider splitting the beneficiaries to the existing and previous amounts in the trust, but actually she doesn't want to, and is very firm about it. (and to some extent I can't push too hard in to what might drive her decisions because I believe there were some 'issues' in their marriage as well re: emotional abuse etc., but I tread very very lightly in talking about that.)
I suppose I'm wondering how much guilt I should be carrying about us catching the lions share of their estate.