Original Post: https://www.reddit.com/r/declutter/s/YVxWJb7ieT

TW: Harming of Rats

It’s done. I’m ashamed to even post these pics but all the neighbors know so why not the internet also. 10 years of hoarding stuff on top of trash on top of sentimental items undone in a single day.

I went back and forward with the advice to not even look and the advice to suit up. I caved and bought PPE for us to dumpster dive and find a few specific things, opened the garage and figured out it was rats. Didn’t even try to go in after that, called it all a loss and walked away.

The biggest item for me to retrieve was my wedding band and engagement ring. In true ADHD fashion when we moved I stuck them in a Lego plant pot and of course they ceased to exist. On the day of I asked the clean up crew to keep an eye for the Lego and my rings in it. A couple of hours in they rang the door bell with both rings in hand.

I’m sad for what we’ve lost and there’s a lot, but I’m overall relieved. We have regained easy access to our circuit breaker, water heater and sprinklers and now have so much more usable space. All that’s on the rebuy list is a new car seat, Christmas decorations, bike helmets, swim stuff, Warhammer model paints and an ocarina.

Does anyone have tips and tricks to clean the garage and keep them out? I’m currently terrified to let the kids anywhere near it. We also used warfarin throw packs and while the grains are picked up but there’s blue staining which scares me also.

Thank you all for your help!

I absolutely loved this video, decluttering guru Clutterbug who I have watched many odd videos over the years gets her husband too declutter on camera who exposes her hidden piles. I really loved how it goes to show how hard this truly is for everyone, even a major decluttering youtube creator. how different people see things as valuable or junk and it shows a great example of a couple navigating what to keep in a shared home and what each person sees/uses/annoys them.

I just started watching some of these last night and boy, did it bring up a lot of feelings. Figuring that they are only going to put up units where they found some valuable stuff, it’s still overwhelming and sad and there’s so much junk. Some of it stored for decades. 90% with no value or very low resale value.

I’m picturing how much it’s cost to store, pack, move, etc. It’s so sad to see bins of photos gone. Someone’s life. But it’s a mess they’ve left. And the message of the owner of every unit like this is basically saying “I can’t deal with you and I can’t afford you any longer”.

I caught one last night where the person had hoarded it out. In random old Walmart bags, there was cash mixed in with old receipts, papers, broken pens, and old makeup. These were inside of other totes. By digging through every random looking bag, the guy found over $2000 in cash. In random chunks. In between trash. It was so sad to think about the person who lived this way. They also had a million of those dashing diva stickers for nails and costume jewelry. All brand new. Tons of it. At first I thought she must have been a rep for those products but then he found evidence that she had just bought it from someone else.

I don’t know. But this has shifted me forward. It’s motivated me in ways I haven’t felt before. I can’t leave all this for my kids. They cannot deal with it. This stuff has got to go. Especially while it still is usable for someone else.

TL;DR- How would you deal with a high volume of baby clothes you'd like to donate, that is mostly still in good shape, but might need stain-treating or re-washing before donation, and also, do I have to throw stained/unusable baby clothes in the trash or is there a better option for bulk disposal of textiles that you have personally found helpful? 

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I have 2 kids, ages 7 and 4, and about 10 rubber maid tubs worth of outgrown clothes. For the past few years I’ve been trying to sell some of the clothes at a local consignment sale held twice a year (mostly to offset what I spend at said sale for my kids new sizes) but it's a lot of work and I don't really have the time needed to process a lot of clothing before each sale, and I never end up making a dent in reducing the amount I have stored because these kids just keep growing. I have taken a few trips to the thrift store and we recently were able to give a friend a decent amount of hand-me-downs, but I am still left with an overwhelming amount of baby/kids clothes and I just can't store it anymore. 

I want to start donating in bulk to local organizations that take baby clothes to distribute to local mothers/families in need, but I have 3 logistical roadblocks:

1. Because there is so much of it, and the bins have been gone through multiple times (by me, a secret raccoon) some of the bins are messy, so unfortunately, I can't just load up and drop them off in this state. Before I donate them, I need to at the very least, separate things roughly by size, make sure outfits are together, and also pick out the stuff that is not in good enough condition for them to take. Which brings me to...

2. Some of the baby clothes has yellowed and old stains are more noticeable over time. I want to make sure what I’m donating is clean and actually in good condition. I know oxidized baby stains can be washed out, but is it worth it? What is a reasonable amount of effort to put into stain treating and re-washing tubs full of clothes before donating them? And if I can't get stains out..

3. Realistically, for real. What do I do with clothes that aren’t worth donating? I hate throwing clothes in the garbage. I avoid it as much as possible, but I have yet to figure out what to do with a large amount of unusable clothes. Has anyone used one of those textile recycling bags, or GreenDrop or something for knowingly unusable clothes and had a good experience with it, or do I really just have to suck it up and throw it in the trash??

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Also, a piece of decluttering advice from me: If you have FOUR daughters, and your cousin is having their FIRST baby… please don’t dump ALL of your outgrown baby clothes on them at once. It's very generous to give new parents free stuff, but maybe just one or two bags of baby clothes in good condition would be nice... Not two giant totes full of everything you owned in size 0-2T. That’s simply too much clothes for one baby who will also get a ton of new clothes from other excited family members, and an overwhelming amount of stuff for new parents who will now have to figure out what to do with all these clothes since you don’t want it back, and since they can't deal with it and a new baby a the same time they will probably just leave it piled in their basement, not realizing that that is setting the standard for where baby clothes goes when its no longer needed, and also their second baby is a boy so barely any of that stuff will get touched again, and it will quickly grow to an out of control amount of clothing that will cause a ton of stress and tension between the parents around 5 years down the line... Just saying. 

I recently put down a down payment on a new mattress. A very heavy one. Installation is not included, so it would be up to me to find someone to help get this thing inside and set up. I'm old. My friends are old. I'd have to get on NextDoor and find someone to help.

So.....I canceled the order anyway(financial reasons), but it made me think. I don't want some stranger coming in and seeing what a hoarder I am! (Level 1, but I'm still embarrassed). This motivated me to start looking at my mess with fresh eyes. I'll be packing and giving stuff away all weekend.

This thought process helped me a lot. I hope it helps you.

This is hard for me. I’ve always loved makeup and skincare and pampering myself. Recently I got an extremely bad case of periorificial dermatitis and everything but bare-bone basics and some prescription ointment causes a breakout and it hurts and I look awful :(
The point is that I have so much stuff and I know I can’t use most of it anymore to prevent breakouts. I’ve worked hard to declutter my life but this one feels extra painful as it’s always been a way to care for and express myself
:(

Failure is part of life. Share your decluttering challenges and failures here. Examples include:

• Emotional clutter
• Not enough time
• Getting overwhelmed
• Routing (recycling, donating, trash...)

If you're just venting, or don't want advice, please let us know in your comment.

This is a low-stress place to share challenges and failures for those who might not want to create a new discussion.

I have a small walk in closet all to myself. It's maybe 5x6 get. It has a shelf at about eye level that goes around 3 sides. The 2 long sides have rails for hanging items. I have shoe racks on the shelves. I was able to fit 6 pretty comfortably. One rack has all of my purse. Another has all of my pants, shorts, and my short skirts. The other 4 are full of shoes. I also have a large shoebox i was able to fit like 6 pairs of flats in. I have like 130 pairs of shoes. It's obscene. I hate owning so many pairs of shoes. I also really struggle with dressing myself and sometimes the version of some kind of shoe that's the main one I wear just won't work with this outfit I'm trying to put together. And I'm grateful I had what I had when trying to put an outfit together. But the shoes take up such a large part of my already packed wardrobe. I want to be able to fit all of my things in my own closet. Not just my clothes. I want to also fit my art supplies, my hobby supplies, my collections, my larger bags, etc. Right now many of those things are in a spare bedroom i claimed and in a hallway closet. Things are totally fine now but if we ever had kids, I'm afraid there won't be much space for them or their own clothes and toys and supplies.

Anyway. This is mostly about shoes because I just have so many and I want them out and this other stuff in. I have an idea for myself... Take your shoes out, store them somewhere else, and only bring them back into the closet when you find yourself needing or really wanting to wear them? It's just obscene i own so many shoes but many of them have come in clutch once or twice. But some of these i never wear. Has anyone tried something like this? Could this work?

My husband and I have very different relationships with possessions. He rarely throws anything away and has never really agreed with my decluttering. His perspective is often, "You bought it, you wanted it, and now you're getting rid of it."

Over the past five years, I've been working through my own belongings, initially through Swedish death cleaning and more recently through danshari. I've made some difficult decisions, particularly about family things. My parents and brother have passed away, and I don't have family to pass these things on to. I've kept two medium totes of family and personal memories, and that is enough for me.

I recently decided to throw out my high school yearbooks. I don't see a reason to keep them just because they represent a period of my life. I still have a home full of furniture, a full but organized closet, and plenty of belongings. I'm not trying to live with nothing or erase my history. I simply want to be intentional about what I keep.

My husband recently commented that he thinks I'm trying to erase myself by decluttering. That hurt more than I expected. I've largely moved past the comment, but part of me is still sitting with it.

For context, I don't declutter his belongings. We have different philosophies, and I respect his right to keep what matters to him.

One example: we stored family artifacts after his mother passed that other family members had said they wanted. After ten years, and following a move, I finally put my foot down. They needed to pick up the items, or we needed to make decisions about what we were storing. They picked up the items. I wasn't willing to continue storing things indefinitely just because we had space, or to move them to another house.

I'm not looking for a verdict on whether decluttering is right or wrong, and I'm not planning to reopen this particular discussion with my husband. I'm trying to figure out how to handle this dynamic going forward.

I still have areas I'd like to work through: a corporate wardrobe I no longer need, baking equipment I rarely use, cluttered kitchen drawers, and randomly, years of accumulated travel-size toiletries intended for guests, among other things. These projects will happen gradually.

For those of you whose spouses have very different attitudes toward possessions, how do you handle comments like this without becoming defensive, second-guessing your decisions, or feeling you have to justify every item you let go?

How do you continue decluttering peacefully when your spouse doesn't share your philosophy? I'm especially interested in how you've handled the emotional side of it over time, rather than tips for deciding what to keep.

One final bit of context: We just retired and are entering a new phase of life. I intend to continue letting things go as I work toward a home filled with things I use and love, rather than things I'm keeping just because, in case I need them, or because someday I might use them.

Even the progress I've made over the last few years has brought me peace. I'm not looking to stop; I'm looking for ways to continue without letting our differences weigh on me emotionally.

Thank you for any perspective you can share.

Edit: I'm really surprised by the number of responses! Thank you to everyone who took the time to comment.

First, my hubby is wonderful, and after 36 years together, I'm not decluttering him! I intend to do better considering his feelings when I am letting things out.

This post has made me think outside my comfort zone, and I appreciate that.

Since posting, I've decluttered about half of my baking supplies. Hubby saw what went out the door and who it went to: a younger couple. She said she'd pass along anything she didn't want, and her husband's birthday was coming up, so she was looking to bake something nice for him.

That aside, I also showed hubby the cabinets that are still full of baking supplies, just spaced out better. I kept my mixing bowls, measuring cups, cookie sheets, decorating supplies, and plenty of other things I use and enjoy. I'm not giving up baking!

Someone asked when I see the decluttering ending. Actually, pretty soon! My closet aside, I'm at a happy place with what I own. What I've kept either has meaning to me or is being used. I will be more mindful to tell hubby why something is going out the door, not every item and pointing out I still have quite a bit of stuff in the house.

I'm a bit of a neat freak. Hubby was in the military and grew up in a military family, so keeping things tidy generally isn't an issue for us. When something is finished being used, it goes back to its home.

I wouldn't describe our house as minimalist or sparse. It's not overly decorated, and I do appreciate open spaces and clear horizontal surfaces. But it's still a comfortable home with plenty of things in it.

I do think this conversation triggered something I hadn't really wanted to think about: being the last of my family. When I'm gone, that's it.

Already, there isn't anyone left who gets the joke, "The cat doesn't like chocolate." (And no, we didn't feed chocolate to the dog or cat!) I still remember the story and the time surrounding it, but the people who shared that memory with me are gone.

I thought I'd come to terms with being the last of my family, but perhaps not as much as I'd believed. My husband's comment about erasing myself brought some of those emotions to the surface.

Bottom line: I don't think I'm erasing myself. But I do want to be more mindful of what I keep in my home.

If an item is here, it needs to serve a purpose, be useful, make me happy, or perhaps simply be pretty. The things I'm keeping for "someday," "just because," or "in case I might need them" need to find a new home.

Thank you again for all the thoughtful responses. Some of you gave me a perspective I hadn't considered, and I appreciate that. I'm going to continue decluttering, being a little more thought about the memories and meaning attached to certain things. The other half of this equation is being mindful of the items coming in the house. I'm much better admiring things in a store or when traveling and not needing to bring it home.

Our dining room has been unused for many months. I could hardly walk into it. Last week my wife invited friends to dinner at our house. The two of us seniors worked three days and reclaimed our dining room.

hi. since I've been lurking on this reddit I found some people recommend setting a deadline. at first I thought it might be too radical and overwhelming since I'm very lazy and I have many clothes that I don't need. but I decided to stick to it. I decided to set a deadline on my birthday(end of October) around a week ago~ and needless to say it sped up my progress A LOT.

I don't know about you guys but I love to put things I don't need in a "I'll think about it later" category so I won't have to make a decision. I had big bags full of clothes, cutlery and decorations(not even mine) stored in my kitchen. and my apartment is very small so these bags were taking a big chunk of space and overall overwhelming me. setting a deadline finally motivated me to go through these bags and decide what to do with them. I put them online yesterday and someone already ordered a lot of things from me! so I'm thinking it won't take long for everything else to sell too.

Decluttering hobby supplies may mean having fewer hobbies. Getting rid of tools may mean not being able to 3D print things or repair certain materials. Pruning your wardrobe might mean you can't wear certain styles. That's OK.

Buying an item is not a commitment to have a version of that item until the end of time. It's easy to expand your toolkit. You need to prune it too.

• It's OK to get rid of tools that solve a problem you no longer have

• It's OK to get rid of emergency supplies for emergencies that are no longer part of your threat model

• It's OK to get rid of cooking equipment because you don't want to make that recipe anymore

• It's OK to get rid of hobby supplies to make room for something else

• It's OK to decide that you don't want to decorate for the holidays

I have a lot of painted canvases, wooden pieces like crosses, coasters. Also some diamond paintings and trying to get into other projects.

It piles up fast and I don’t want a bunch of clutter. If I gift it to people it might not match their color scheme, and not sure it’ll sell, but I would like to maybe recoup some of the cost and I definitely want to keep crafting and making small projects (it’s really enjoyable and good for my mental health).

Advice?

Photo is a couple oval canvases I did that I’m actually really happy with how they turned out but it’s like what now? lol

I am a knitter. I spin. I read. I create piles and I feel calm when I can see my things.

And I have worked on the area upstairs for a while to get it looking company ready. Today, the family will be over and I have been successful in my work. I wanted to share, just to put it out there. Here is the before and after.

Much will be going to the local yarn sale next month!

I am going to enjoy my day with the family!

Share your wins here - big or small. What did you declutter this week? Examples include:

• Digital Clutter: emails, digital photos, digital music or video collection...
• Storage: cupboards and closets, drawers, storage boxes...
• Toys: ether for your child, or your own that you've been hanging on to.
• Spaces: kitchens, workshops, hobby rooms, storage lockers...
• Routing: sending items to where they need to go, like donation centres, trash, or recycling

This is a low-stress place to share wins for those who might not want to create a new discussion.

Hi all,

My partner and I are moving into a new space, and we want to take the opportunity to do some decluttering, but we're encountering some issues.

The first major issue is our different styles. My partner has an intense dedication to anything given to her from any family member. Exhibit A: "that" apron. I have wanted to get rid of this thing for a while because we literally have never pulled out of the drawer in 5 years, (I think) it's hideous, and it's kind of dangerously flammable. She refuses because it was a gift from her mother. This wouldn't be a problem in and of itself, but it applies to dozens of items around the house: threadbare quilted blankets from grandma, old drawings from nieces and nephews, letters from aunts and uncles, glass vases her brother made in art school, place mats from her parents' old house. On the other hand, I am not really all that emotional about hand-me-downs and inheritances, partially because of my upbringing, which contrasts with her rather idyllic early family relationships.

I don't mean to suggest that I am somehow unattached to objects and find decluttering easy; it's just that my hangups are different. Where my partner has nostalgia for her family, I have it for my identity. For instance, I used to ice climb, but since we moved to a place where there isn't much ice climbing, I haven't used the gear at all in the last 5 years. But ice climbing is still a big part of how I see myself, and the gear isn't cheap, so I don't want to give it up, in case things shift and I wind up using it more often. As a consequence, my partner often rolls her eyes at me wanting to retain things that don't serve any function in our lives or hold any emotional weight (because they were purchased, not gifted).

Then there's the issues we both have. We both grew up in families where money was tight and thrift was paramount. I still remember my dad giving my brothers and me the chore of straightening bent nails so we could reuse them. My partner and I aren't loaded, but we're now OK financially, but we're still torn between the desire to clear out items that I don't really love (e.g., those pants that don't fit me quite right) with the urge to hang onto them because they still work OK, and discarding and replacing them with something I really do like would be costly. Then there's the question of frivolous waste (e.g., that can of random extra screws from DIY furniture that might still be useful at some point).

Because we're trying to avoid flashpoints for conflict, we've just been ignoring this stuff, but it's becoming more challenging as we get more into the process. Any advice about how to proceed? Thanks!

hi everyone, I started to sell/throw/give away my stuff actively about a month ago and...

it's only painful at first. once you sell, throw or give away your things, you won't even think of them twice. especially if you give them to someone who's happy to receive them.

i sold my big minion collection to a mom who later told me that her son bought it with his hard earned money and how excited he was when he got it in delivery. it still makes me so happy. then, I sold a necklace to a woman who said it's a perfect fit for her outfit. I saw how happy she was after I gave it to her. I also had very positive reviews on my page from people that bought from me, they also made me smile.

that's what I think of now, I don't remember these things, but rather how happy they made someone. what I also remember is how much space they occupied in my already small apartment...

there are only positives in decluttering, so don't doubt and just do it. you'll feel lighter and happier, I promise

Having sudden burst of energy and started decluttering here and there. And I found three bottles of opened contact lens solution. Opened a new bottle just because I couldn't find/couldn't remember the previous bottle that I've opened due to a cluttered messy room. Sigh.

I had previously mentioned that I had scheduled 11 pieces of furniture for donation. Donation day came yesterday and I actually added two more pieces that admittedly I waffled back and forth on one of them multiple times but succeeded in letting them both go.

The charity truck came and my donation took up half of the back of the box truck, it was a lot of stuff. I didn't have as much of the anxiety as I thought I would in letting go of such a large group of stuff. I was actually quite inspired and went through more of my stuff, including my kitchen, a closet and a number of tubs. Kitchen is hard for me because I collect dishware and glassware and I love a beautiful plate but I am one person and I do not need 35 luncheon plates. So I culled to the prettiest and my favorites and donated the rest. I donated two tea sets and a number of kitchen appliances including mixers and magic bullets and blenders, all good working things, just things that I have not used in the past year. I was ruthless and got rid of a lot.

I got through a closet and gave away a bunch of clothing and shoes and was super conscientious about making sure that everything was in great condition or I bagged it up for fabric recycling, including shoes. I convinced myself to get rid of the Halloween decorations before the holidays so somebody could enjoy them rather than me saving them for yet another year and having to debate next year. I got rid of decor for another couple holidays, a pile of art in frames, some hanging mirrors, and a big box of craft supplies.

I feel like I got rid of a lot of stuff. Weirdly though I'm not panicking at all about anything that I got rid of I'm not worried about it in that additional two car loads which normally I would drive around for a week or two with the stuff just in case I might need to pull something out of it. But I didn't! I feel better, it feels later and I'm sure I will delight in the space and the less cluttered cabinets over the next bit of time. I think that's been the weirdest and the best accomplishment is releasing the stuff and being okay with it this time.

So this is a little cheerleading for everybody else out here doing it, it was a shift of intention and finality and I'm actually okay with it. It's a lot of work, and I was so tired last night and I'm still dragging a little bit today but I'm settling and I'm happy with releasing everything. I feel good about it and I'm going to keep going not to just get rid of everything but get rid of the stuff that I am truly not using. I will never be a minimalist but I don't need to be the one who has every last thing, if I do need anything I can borrow it or purchase it again if absolutely required. I am comfortable. Thanks for listening, I wish everybody continued success!

Since early 2024, I have been slowly decluttering. Did multiple passes. Each time i decluttered, I decluttered only the easy stuff at that point in time. It has now been almost 3 years and the ease of the house has substantially increased. I feel much better. There isn't anything i miss and while in the process, i continued to purchased things but very curated, items for my life today and not what i might one day want to have or because it was "a good price". There were no extremes, no rush, kept stress at a minimum. I have reached a point where there is little to purchase outside of consumables. My home is organized. Easy. Now money that would have been spent on silly purchases can be saved and eventually invested. It took years, however the peace i have today was worth the trouble. I wish all that wish to declutter, success and peace while at it. You got this.

While it covers some things I knew about, it also made me think more deeply about others.

I tried this the other day on an area I was feeling bogged down on and it worked! When you have a second to spare in the day, open up the pic and take a look. I think we're used to how things look even though we might feel like it's congested. Happy decluttering :)

Failure is part of life. Share your decluttering challenges and failures here. Examples include:

• Emotional clutter
• Not enough time
• Getting overwhelmed
• Routing (recycling, donating, trash...)

If you're just venting, or don't want advice, please let us know in your comment.

This is a low-stress place to share challenges and failures for those who might not want to create a new discussion.

I've been doing a lot of clean purges for the past few years. This year I've had more of those days. I can't even tell you how many garbage bags of things I got rid of. Before I get rid of stuff, I buy a box of 32 gallon garbage bags. I bought a box which contained 14 bags last month.

I managed to use all of them in two months. It's just so insane to me how I managed to have so much stuff in my small apartment. About a year or two ago, one of my closets was the equivalent to an avalanche waiting to collapse. Storage totes, tote bags, and garbage bags filled with things, from the floor to the ceiling. I got rid of two garbage bags of things that were under my bed, and I had to stop at that point because I didn't have any garbage bags left.

I am in disbelief with how much stuff that I still need to get rid of. It feels like I've been cleaning up forever. Despite making significant progress, it feels endless. I can't wait until the day that I'm actually done with it entirely.