Long-time lurker, first-time poster. Just wanted to get some outside perspectives because lately I’ve been feeling increasingly disconnected from the society around me.
I’m 39, Italian-Canadian, born and raised with pretty old-school Italian values. I’ve worked hard, built a stable career, have my own home, and I’m at a point in my life where I’d genuinely like to settle down, get married, have children, and build a family.
I grew up believing in traditional family values. Loyalty, commitment, faith, respect, hard work, and being there for your family. I still believe in those things today. Politically and socially, I lean conservative, although I don’t make politics my entire personality.
But living in the GTA, I sometimes feel like I’m completely out of step with the culture around me.
Dating has been particularly frustrating. It seems increasingly difficult to meet someone who shares similar values and actually wants a traditional, stable family life. Sometimes I wonder whether my expectations are unreasonable or whether I’m simply looking in the wrong places.
I also feel like Canadian society has changed considerably over the years, becoming much more socially liberal. And look, people are absolutely entitled to live however they want. I have no interest in telling anyone how to live their life. I just feel like the values I grew up with aren’t nearly as common as they once were, at least in my experience.
I’m not miserable, and I have plenty to be grateful for. I have a good career, a home, family, and a comfortable life. But there’s definitely a sense that I don’t quite belong in the world around me anymore.
I’m genuinely curious whether other people in their 30s and 40s feel this way, particularly those who grew up in traditional households.
Have you experienced something similar? Have you managed to find like-minded people or a partner who shares your values? Or is this just a case of needing to expand my social circles?
I’m open to different perspectives. I’m not looking for a political argument, just an honest discussion.