I had two experiences with men from this sub, and honestly, both have left me emotionally drained.
The first guy and I got along really well, and gradually, we started developing feelings for each other. He even wanted me to go on a holiday with him, but I couldn’t because my parents weren’t okay with it. After that, his behaviour started changing. Slowly, he began shutting me out. It’s a long story, but the whole experience was an emotional roller coaster for me.
Months later, I started talking to another guy from this sub. We vibed really well, got close over time, and eventually confessed our feelings for each other. The feelings seemed pretty strong from both sides.
He even visited me in my city, and we got physically involved. During his stay, we also discussed marriage. He opened up about his flaws and told me that he smokes. Earlier, when we had discussed his vices, he had said he was trying to quit. But this time, he told me he wouldn't be able to quit anytime soon because of the mental pressure he was dealing with.
I told him that I accepted him for who he was and that, to me, he was perfect the way he was. I genuinely meant it. I was ready to accept him wholeheartedly, flaws and all.
What makes this whole experience even more painful is that I had opened up to him about my fear of being physically taken advantage of. He knew about my vulnerability, and I trusted him enough to let my guard down. I never thought I'd find myself questioning someone's intentions after opening up to them and getting emotionally invested in them.
But once he returned home, things changed drastically. He became distant and barely messaged me. The weird part was that whenever we did talk, he acted as if nothing was wrong. But the person I had been talking to for months was clearly not the same anymore.
Eventually, we had an argument because I was trying to understand why his behaviour had changed so much. His replies had become nothing more than “hmm” and “yes”. There was no effort, no reassurance, nothing.
He eventually told me that he needed me there. I tried to reassure him that we could figure things out together, and I even told him that I would start applying for jobs in his city. But he said he didn't want me to move there because of him.
I then suggested that we take a break for a few weeks and see if we genuinely missed each other and wanted to make this work. His response? “What if one of us loses interest?”
And then he simply stopped messaging me altogether.
Eventually, I got tired of trying and told him we should end things. He agreed without even the slightest hesitation.
He hasn't contacted me since.
Honestly, I can't help but wonder if the whole thing was just about getting physically involved with me. I don't know for sure what his intentions were, but the way everything unfolded has left me feeling used, especially because I had trusted him with something so personal.
And what's even more upsetting is that I recently came across another girl on this sub who had a very similar experience.
I'm not saying that every man is like this, and I'm not saying that physical intimacy guarantees commitment. But I do feel that, as women, we need to be careful about getting emotionally and physically invested in someone whose intentions and commitment aren't clear.
So, ladies, please don't ignore the importance of commitment and clarity just because the feelings seem mutual, the conversations are deep, or the person talks about a future with you.
At least make sure you're both on the same page about what you're building together before getting physically involved. Words, confessions, and marriage talks can feel very convincing, but what really matters is whether someone's actions match those words.
I learnt this lesson the hard way, and I genuinely don't want anyone else to go through the same emotional mess.
Please be careful out there, ladies. ❤️
