Why do you sexualize Femmes(naturally feminine-featured, petitie androgynous males)..then discard us like we're nothing?

To those that say "Women are wired for romance, men are primal, and biologically wired are for sex" is absolute BS. I'm a "biological male" and I deeply bond and get romantically attached immediately when having sex with a masculine man. I love to be pursued, cherished, protected, submitting to a man in every way, etc. Not to mention(to those that genuinely believe this...and use this as an excuse to do xyz)...why are there masculine lesbians who behave the exact same way as F-boys and womanizers? That's all gendered, learned socially conditioned programming. For both men and women. I'm a femme whose deeply romantic and has the exact same expectations in a relationship with a masculine man as a woman does. Such as him being a protector/provider. And me being the nurturer, etc. It's all conditioning but that's innately who I am effortlessly. Most gay men are inherently feminine(in psyche)...and supress their femininty due to fearing society's reaction. Even when it's painfully obvious lol. Different from a Femme. I'm proud of my femininity(looks and psyche) and embrace it in every way. But truly Masculine-psychied gay men are in the minority...so it's almost exclusively Bi men i attract/date. As i'm attracted to masculine men(be it bi/gay/etc.) who are attracted to femmes.

So i'm trying to understand the mind of said masculine men...the same way that a frustrated woman who's tired of being mistreated...and wants to know the game.

Feminine individuals who are often on such apps as Grindr...simply because they're trying to date and establish healthy social capital. But this doesn't only just happen on Grindr, it often happens on Tinder too(with fetishists literally having "straight" on their profile), and even Hinge. Where many masculine bi men showcase the gentleman image...the all-american, fun loving, craft beer-loving hearthrob image towards a women that they intend to be with long term. But with Femmes, TS, NBs, or Twinks...it's almost always sexual comments from the start. Such as "Heyyy Sexy", (random unsolicited emojis mimicking horniness instead of inquiring conversation), etc.

This is directed at the Bisexual guys who are attracted to feminine guys but refuse to date us. I just want to understand why because often the sexual intercourse itself is deeply sensual and romantic, not just curious "straight" men exploring and dipping out once the PNC hits. And also there's romantic manipulation tactics beforehand similar to players trying to bed women. But often after- it feels like many of the bi men(*especially if they are completely masculine, accomplished/successful and revered in society) come to the reality of their private attraction...and just how shattering/life it would be to their reputation- and they go ghost. But it's wayyy more shattering psychologically to the person that is often marginalized and unprotected in society, yet hypersexualized privately on apps. The femme.

I really don't believe it's solely because of them being truly heteroromantic. Because there's always an element of shame and denial involved in these encounters. With them often having a cropped pic on apps, them refusing to shake your hand or touch you until you go inside their house. But doing the exact opposite once the door closes. Among so many other things.

I've had other instances with true heteroflexible/heteromantic men who are genuinely into women...but lifelong porn consumers...to which their porn consumption has escalated into femmes & TS. It's such a different dynamic with these guys. And yes- I know there's a spectrum when it comes to this that is very nuanced and complex.

I'm in a happy, loving, monogamous relationship with a masculine, muscular protective man now...but it pisses me off thinking about all of the time + social capital wasted and the lonleliness dealing with so many bi men who fit this archteype. Everyday(and several famous ones I've dated in LA) masculine men of every race/background/profession/socioeconomic status who blend into society. Men that even other bi men would have no idea they're bi...because of them being exclusively into fems.

I have a good idea but I think it'd be good to hear directly from the source...

I'm asking this as someone who's very attractive and as someone that's been sexualized on apps by thousands of bi men. Who's used reverse AI image searches, and was STUNNED to see how they live their public hetero lives...versus how they treated me privately.

Do you really think being with us feminine men is that shameful in 2026 when no one(especially young millenials and younger) truly care in the western world? That we're not worth having relationships with as opposed to having relationships with women?

Any insight into the the mind of a masculine man attracted feminine-looking, petite androgynous males would be invaluable!

To ensure i'm never played again in this lifetime...

Not sure if I got that right. In other words, two guys who have no romantic interest in each other or guys at all but have sexually attraction for guys and just stick together as FWBs, how common are couples like that?

Im 49 year bi man, i was married 18 yrs and my previous wife didnt exept my bisexuality at all, now im living with a woman for who i told from the start that and im bi and she is fine with it, but to actually have a threesome with a man, she has sayd no, that she loves me and dont want nobody touching her, me to go alone, or in secret, dont seem ok, i dont want to hurt her, or bring home surprises after, how other manage, or feed their bi needs ?