I’ve come to the realization that I do not know how to deflect or diffuse a situation where a friend is making sexual advances, in a way that preserves the friendship.

Some context, I’m a gay male, AuDHD. to make social settings easier for me I began a journey of self-improvement. I got lean, put on muscle, improved my skin and hair. And while the pretty privilege this is affording me has helped socially, it’s uncovered some other social skills that I’ve clearly never developed. Specifically, friends that I’m not sexually interested in make advances towards me.

i’ve tried turning them down, honestly, which results in them withdrawing from me completely. Or I avoid them when they hit on me. which also kills the friendship overtime. Many of these are people I knew from before I started my fitness journey they weren’t that interested before.

I see Neurotypical people navigate this all the time and I can’t seem to replicate it. they seem to have some mixture of a subtle white lie that somehow communicates a firm no without making the person break off the friendship. And I don’t know what that is.

It doesn’t help that I am otherwise specially promiscuous and talk about sex a lot, so some advice that I’ve received in the past doesn’t really work out such as telling people that I don’t want to sleep with my friends. Or that I like my friendships to remain platonic. Those statements do not ring through for me.

Would really appreciate some advice!

So, fellow autistics can y'all understand me?!

I've been on a journey treating my ADHD with meds, and now I've unmasked considerably to the point where I'm putting together the pieces, and....

I don't think the problem is ADHD anymore.

I don't think the problem is I get depressed either.

I don't think the problem is I have a panic disorder.

I don't think the problem is social anxiety.

I think these are all features of my autistic way of being 😭

So now I'm like....what do I do???

Cuz the other night I noticed that I get along best with autism profile people.

I get along best with people who have similar symptoms as a result of their autism as the root of their personality/character since to me, it influences everything I am!

So now I'm like....I'm having a problem with my autistic self. Autism is not a problem. But it results in me having struggles that treating them as individual diagnosis (hyperfixated, depressed, anxious) isn't the root cause.

Anybody finding relief....somehow????

I'm starting therapy next week with an ADHD + trauma specialist, but now I'm thinking I need to see somebody who specializes in autism!

It really struck me when I found myself at home with autism-centered forums & people. And then I remembered....there is a specific form of anxiety that autistic people in particular tend to have, and I'm in that bucket with y'all! Aaaaaah!!!

It doesn't help me, instead it makes me even more agitated. It feels nagging, its adding onto the stress. It's like demanding, I don't know how explain it in words.

Whenever people tell me what to do I get agitated for some reason, especially when I'm going to do it but they're still reminding me again and again.

I have no idea why it feels exactly like that.

It only helps if it's subtle or I don't know what you're doing.

I'm already overstimulated with a lot of sensory input around me. I get ready overwhelmed when people demand or tell me what to do when I'm already stressed. That all I need is to lessen sensory input.

I don't know why just people talking to me when I'm already overstimulated stresses me out so bad.

I would honestly snap at them unintentionally

So don't talk to me at all, or leave me alone for awhile. I would prefer to be in sensory deprivation for a moment from everything overwhelming me.

Anyone felt the same or is it just me.

I'm horrible of explaining why, for some reason I couldn't put it to words properly.

هل طفلك اتأخر في الكلام؟ أو بيتكلم لكن مش بيفهم الأوامر؟ أو بيكرر الكلام من غير ما يعرف يطلب احتياجاته؟

مش كل تأخر كلام معناه توحد، وكل طفل محتاج تقييم يحدد نقاط القوة والمهارات اللي محتاجة تنمية.

في جمعية بكرة أحلى للتأهيل وتنمية المهارات في مدينة نصر – القاهرة، بنهتم بالتخاطب وتنمية المهارات والعلاج الوظيفي والتكامل الحسي وصعوبات التعلم وتعديل السلوك.

سمر زين – مؤسس الجمعية والمدير الفني لتطوير البرامج التأهيلية والتربوية.

محمد حلمي – رئيس مجلس الإدارة.

سؤال للأهالي: إيه أكتر مشكلة في التواصل لاحظتوها عند أطفالكم؟

My pschologist said i dont have audhd but my iq deadaas went from 119 ish (give or take) to 79...thats not normal what do i do? My parents might not want to take me to a psychiatrist for a second opinion even tho i have insurance

I actually dislike that pschologist so bad bruh oh my god she didnt even address my borderline 79 iq? Last time i checked i do not have an ID im very creative and i edit make art etc my iq is fine but she didnt even address it im so mad and frustrated im gonna crash out what do i do i...also im a girl verbal pretty "smart" tho my traits align with msn or even im thinking its more hsn ffs i thought this would be easier lol

Edit: i have traits of 4 other ND but still im just mainly talking abt audhd here,also i did get the assesment results and yknow i have my own experiences i can talk about to the psychiatrist if i end up going

I am an Australian 42 year old cis woman with a 4 yo boy who has just been diagnosed by a multidisciplinary team (this process took 2.5 years in total through the public system) with ASD level 3 in both criteria A & B. I also have a 2 yo daughter who has been on a waitlist for assessment for nearly 6 months as we can see the exact same traits in her too.

I have previously been diagnosed with C-PTSD and Generalised Anxiety Disorder attributed to having an extremely tumultuous and abusive upbringing. It quickly became apparent that our boy was different to others but I was gaslit for a long time due to the fact that he is verbal and has no intellectual disability. We were already on a waitlist for assessment when he started 3yo kindergarten and instantly we were advised by the educators that our son was showing extreme differences to other children and we should seek out an assessment.

Many of his symptoms I also experienced my entire life but had put down to trauma so I started questioning if I had attributed my experiences to the wrong thing. Fast forward to mid last year, I went for an assessment for ADHD as my brother was diagnosed at a young age and a lot of the symptoms fit, it didn't explain everything but did explain some. During that assessment process the psychiatrist out of nowhere asked if I had considered I may also be autistic. Completely floored by this I explained we think our son is and he is currently being assessed. My official diagnosis from that assessment was "ADHD & Symptoms of Autism Spectrum Disorder that requires Further investigation".

My assessment was thorough with partner and parent forms, multiple forms for me and 7 hours in person with the clinical Psychologist where the WEIS adult Intelligence test was administered (we only got through 4 parts due to time restraints) and an extremely thorough in person discussion about myself and history etc. During this assessment my assessor also asked me questions in relation to my history of trauma and questions that could give a differential diagnosis.

Fast forward to my results and review appointment 2 days ago I have been given a Level 1 for Criteria A and to my complete disbelief, a Level 3 in criteria B. My assessor said that my criteria B level may reduce to a 2 with OT and therapy and that there is also a potential that I am actually a Level 2 in criteria A as a high level in B can mask deficits in Criteria A but for now that is my official diagnosis. They agreed I am also ADHD and also have Generalised Anxiety Disorder.

I was informed that in all her years working she has only ever given 1 person such differential levels across the 2 criteria areas and that usually these are closer together. I think I am shocked and unsure how to process it all. How did I get to 42 without realising I had AuDHD??!!

Has anyone else received such differing levels?!

Our public disability scheme, NDIS, is such a mess at the moment here and has targeted the autistic community so I am unsure I will be able to access supports that used to be available here now.

I am horrible at telling social cues and struggle to identify meanings behind social encounters, and I'm looking to better equip myself with identifying patterns in people! Well, more specifically, other autistic people. NT people are a whole other story.

How does an autistic person, such as myself, identify whether another ND person likes me? Either platonic or romantic.

I am on an autism discovery journey, and have been spending a lot of time reading up on the diagnostic criteria as well as learning more about some of the shared experiences of people with autism. I am particularly interested in peoples' unique experiences and stories, because it helps me to identify traits more easily in myself.

As I read about the specific, particular ways people experience and navigate the world with autism, there's a lot that I deeply resonate with, particularly burnout and the feeling that "other people are able to navigate life well, even when it's hard – why is it so consistently challenging for me?" The question for me is not whether my feelings are valid, but if autism is a good explanation.

Though I am experiencing burnout (struggling with executive function, depression, difficulty doing day-to-day tasks), it seems inconsistent. As of late, most of my days feel like trying to push through molasses just to complete simple tasks at work and at home. Anxiety is overwhelming, and the only reprieve I get is when I'm in bed, mindlessly scrolling. But some days, like today, I feel strangely okay – the burnt out feeling still lingers, and tasks are still somewhat challenging, but better. While today is better, tomorrow might be back to full-blown inability to function, and it's hard for me to tell which I'll experience.

The inconsistent severity and inability to identify what triggers burnout (or why, for example, today is better) is extremely frustrating. I'm curious about others' experiences with burnout, and whether this is common or uncommon – does this experience resonate with anyone else?

I have always had extremely sensitive ears. That is, noises that are loud enough to cause physical pain in my ears, don't cause pain in most other people's ears. I use the word "extreme" because I can't remember a single scenario in my life where someone was more sensitive than me in that respect. Heck, I struggle to think of a scenario where someone was equally sensitive as me.

However, as I pointed out, this sensitivity is purely physical. I have no sensitivity in the brain, as it were. I don't get "overwhelmed" by sounds, they don't make me tired, they don't give me headaches, etc.

Does my particular brand of sensitivity qualify as the type that might be present in autism? Because every time I have read about autistic sound sensitivity, it's always been described as a purely psychologial phenomenon (with overwhelm etc.)

Hi everyone,
I have been diagnosed with autism, adhd and pda at the age of 25. I’m currently in my 3 year of PhD in computer science. My problem is that I cannot make myself work on the current paper anymore. For context, my supervisor and I have picked up on the topic a year ago around September and hope was that by march we will be done with the topic. In spring there were a lot of deadlines for different conferences. In march I presumed my research is enough and I talked to my supervisor that I think we can aim to the closest deadline. That’s when my supervisor told me that my research is not sufficient to get accepted and that we should look for more heuristics to make the work valuable hence enhancing its chances to get accepted. I was disappointed but I thought I can do it. Research turned into a hamster wheel. We would have meeting every week and imagine that I made step 1, 2, 3 I would come to the meeting and suddenly we are discussing step 1 and changes I need to make there. Do I would go and make more changes again do step 1, 2, 3 and again would go back to step one.
Like this I have missed a of the summer deadlines and now one in fall. I have last 2 deadlines left in November 3 and 4 weeks from now and I cannot make myself work on this project anymore. I don’t know how to motivate myself and only thing I feel when I sit down working is dread. Can you please share your techniques how do handle this type of situations? Thanks a lot already.

I've never been a regular smoker, but I enjoy having a cigarette every now and then, so I recently bought myself a vape with a fairly high nicotine concentration.

I've noticed before that nicotine can affect me in a weird way. For a little while, I get this strange rush of stimulation mixed with anxiety, a sudden flood of weird intrusive thoughts, etc. It usually passes after some time.

But I genuinely thought I'd worked through a lot of my issues by now and that it wouldn't be a problem anymore. And oh boy, was I wrong...

I feel like I'm about to fall back into some of the mental hell I was in not that long ago, all because I've started smoking occasionally again.

Part of me knows I could simply stop vaping, but another part of me gets frustrated by the idea of something like nicotine having this kind of "control" over me and my thoughts. So I find myself wanting to challenge it rather than avoid it.

Has anyone else experienced something similar? Did nicotine trigger your OCD symptoms or bring back anxiety you thought you'd already dealt with? And how did you handle it?

I'm also kind of into astrology and horoscopes, and apparently there are all these planetary retrogrades happening right now (I can't even remember which ones exactly lol). I've heard that a lot of things that happened around June, I think, might come back up during this period, including unresolved issues and things you haven't fully worked through.

And now I can't shake the feeling that that's exactly what's happening to me 😭

A free sample of puzzles, created by an autistic person with ADHD for minds like ours.

Hello everyone!

I am an autistic person with ADHD. For a long time, I searched for puzzle and activity books that truly suited the way I think—without cluttered pages, time pressure, or vague instructions. Since I couldn’t find any, I started creating my own.

I’d like to share a free PDF sample with anyone who’d like to try it out. It includes two types of activities:

• Classic puzzles (Sudoku, word searches, nonograms, riddles, cryptograms, word ladders, dual-figure puzzles, Takuzu, Hitori, etc.), presented with a clean layout so you can solve them at your own pace.

Designed in cycles and incorporating specific information along with positive affirmations, the format is quite unique—see for yourself!

• "Missions": A new type of puzzle I’ve developed—drawing on the concept of prospective memory—designed to help with something many of us struggle with: remembering to do something later while we’re already busy with another task. Before each page, you memorize a few "missions" and then carry them out as you navigate through a grid of numbers. If you get it right, the letters spell out a word.

I’ve intentionally included a few key features:

• Literal, straightforward instructions, accompanied by a solved example before each level.

• A consistent structure across all pages, where each type of "mission" is always represented by the same symbol.

• No time limits; plus, making mistakes is simply part of the game.

For the sake of transparency: these puzzles were created with the help of AI, but the concept and design are entirely my own. These are games, not a form of treatment. If you’re interested in receiving the sample, send me a direct message (DM). I’d love to hear your thoughts—what works for you and what doesn’t. My dream is to create activities that make our way of thinking feel understood, rather than overwhelmed.

Obviously, this is a free sample; the books will be released on November 12th and will be for purchase—provided I see that there’s enough interest from people; otherwise, I won’t release them.

Thanks for reading! https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1wo7Yb9if22Bjvln-AfGm-vW8D9TxgRrG?usp=drive_link

​

I'm 29, believe I've masked for as long as I can remember until a week ago, I told my therapy group I think I'm autistic.

I told my therapist how I may be autistic and immediately I could tell her demeanor changed. I don't want to say it was negative but it did feel like it. Maybe I am sensitive and thinking in that black and white negativity. She started talking to me like I was dumb. And rushed me to answer her questions when I would pause and think. I just ignored her thinking she was trying to be rude. I told her I think I do pick up on social cues or have emotional intelligence. I honestly zoned out there and heard her say "hyper vigilant since you've been through so much hurt." I feel like I could be smart but also act dumb if I wanted to. She mentioned how we have miscommunicated before. I'm very quiet and watch and know everything. The reason we "miscommunicated" before was because I just stayed quiet and didn't feel the need to fix it. Please help me understand myself more??

I'm trying my best here. I don't understand why it's so difficult to just start driving on my own (I have better glasses now) but I want to try just getting a job that can help. I thought of living in a small RV as long as I'm following bills and doing everything correctly I don't see an issue. Yes it's a bit pricy but I think it's cheaper then having to accomdate a roommate and having to just cover the main place. I don't know are there people like me? nobody is helping me understand. I think It would be cheaper then the cost here at least. Apartments and everything else is pricy. and I've been denied support. So I just want to try to go for just a job that can help.

I've gotten told That my brain functions at 60% and I have the MTFHR gene( I can't really talk about that here), I have level 2 autism and I am AUDHD, But I don't know what to do, and my family really isn't working with me or my friends. All I want is to just get on vrchat and drink Kentucky bourbon. I feel like a bad person because all I do is talk to NPCS in vrchat and games, and struggle with regular people and just want to live like a normal person.

Can you be autistic yet not have sensitivity to light and sound ? I can handle crowded and noisy places fine, but get anxious and out of places if it is in a place where I am expected to interact, also I can zone out. I will then look at my phone about things from my interest, then once at home I will need to isolate in the bedroom, but I won't have shutdown in the sense of not being able to speak at all, just less talkative orally, and I can communicate on text. Most meltdowns I had were due to either emotional sensitivity, or interruptions on my activities, and when I have too much solicitations at home. The only sensory sensitivity I have is specific smells and textures that don't typically bother most people, or not to my extant. I don't have meltdowns over it but won't be able to touch it and will have to avoid it and escape from it. I am not sensory seeking either about sounds. I can listen to my music for hours in my headphones on my own terms, but as for crowded places for example, it makes me tired and less able to focus, but I can still write this post though it might be very messy. As for light, only lights on screen or when sun sets really bother me so if I'm sensitive to it, it's minimal.

The reason I ask is I was diagnosed with asd.

I don't know what to do y'all. I can make it through 1 40 hour work week but I always end up tapping out somewhere in the 2nd week, usually on my Wednesday (which is today for me)

I don't have much money as it is, and I'm about to move into a new apartment because my roommate is moving out and I have to downsize. Problem is, no matter what place I find, I will be paying way MORE because now I have no one to split the bills with :/ given the fact that I'm autistic and I have 2 cats with specific med schedules, I just don't feel comfortable finding a new roommate who would be a stranger.

In my defense, there has also BEEN an ad for some other people trying to find a roommate for THEIR small apartment with 2 cats and they clearly haven't found anyone because it's been up for a couple months.

My work is actually super accommodating. I have FMLA so there is some relief of guilt and shame when I call out because they know I have a legitimate health reason. But I'm completely out of PTO and because I can't ever finish 1 80 hr pay period, it's taking way longer to earn it back. I was gonna explain the whole PTO system but I realized it was over explaining and unnecessary 🤣

I'm not really seeking advice I guess (unless you have some magical hack for functioning 😩😅) I'm just venting.

I know I'm in a privileged position to still be able to work,and I know everyone is struggling financially. But I used to be able to power through several weeks of work before I needed to call out to recover. But ever since I learned I was autistic, that ability is vanishing. It also depends on the job too.

When I worked at that post office, I never called out ONCE for the 10 months I worked there. With the exception of one call out after I already put in my 2 weeks notice, which I don't count lol. I couldn't call out there bc if I did, people wouldn't get their mail. With my current job, there are slow days and days when we have a full team of people who can handle 1 call-out. I know if I'm not there, there won't be panic or pressure. When we have less people, which just do a less thorough version of our job.

So I kind of feel like this is making me lazy 🫠 would I be able to finish 1 eighty hour pay period if I had a more serious and necessary job? I don't want that because it's really great to take the time I need without fear of losing my job. But now it's affecting my pay checks. I can't win 😞 I don't know what to do. The 40 hr work week just feels so impossible and I hate that I can't do it like everyone else can