Today, Saturday, 24 October 2026, is my 37th birthday. I am 37M and autistic, and this year has been by far the worst year of my whole life.

I feel like almost everyone hates me. My own parents, both sides of my extended families, and almost everyone whom I know hate me. I have neve had friends in life, and I have lost almost 30 kg (65 lb) since June from extreme stress, worrying and depression.

I have no idea what to do or how to feel. I am just tired of life and everything. Maybe just want to talk.

It’s that when you have autism, it gets so easy to feel like life sucks that it’s crazy. There’s also a good argument for it when you consider that this world wasn’t designed with autistic people in mind.

I actually feel like life is dark fantasy and this is one reason why.

TLDR: If you’re an autistic academic (grad level or higher), what accommodations have you asked for/received?

Hello, I just recently joined, and I thought this subreddit would be good for asking this question.

For context: I am a doctoral student studying Library and Information Sciences. Libraries accidentally became my special interest and here I am. I was diagnosed with autism in undergrad, but I never really needed accommodations. Even in my masters program, I didn’t need them. I didn’t need extra time on tests, professors always laid out their agendas, provided the slideshows, etc. Now that I’m in academia though, i’m struggling.

I seem to not be understanding when and where and how and why I’m supposed to be doing a variety of things. Why am I struggling to culminate my topic? Why am I struggling to properly write a lit review? I fundamentally understand the difference between analyzing and synthesizing, but I just can get there. I don’t understand how to synthesize because when I think I’m doing it, I end up plagiarizing or simply analyzing. My professors keep saying it takes practice, but almost a semester in, I’m getting nowhere. My classmates, all first time doctoral students, seem to be getting it on their first try.

I don’t understand tone. I can’t pick it out in papers. I can’t decipher my own, and apparently, mine is all over the place. Do I even belong in academia? Will I ever do it right?

Anyways, I’m getting the lowest scores of all my cohort members, I can see it on the grade distribution. I’m lucky if i’m in the lower quartile of grades and not the lowest. And it’s all the same feedback as listed above: Tone, analysis versus synthesis, etc.

What are some accommodations I can ask for? It’s not that I don’t want to be challenged, but I think I just need some extra support in rising to the challenge. Help in getting my work where it needs to be. The feedback is not helping. It’s not telling me anything. I feel like I am not cut out for this.

Short answer: yes, you can get a legitimate autism diagnosis through telehealth, and for certain populations the telehealth format is actually clinically superior to in-person evaluation. Here is the longer answer. What makes a telehealth autism evaluation legitimate: The legitimacy of an autism evaluation comes from who conducts it and what it includes, not where it happens. A telehealth evaluation conducted by a licensed PhD or PsyD psychologist using validated standardised instruments and producing a comprehensive clinical report is a legitimate evaluation. The documentation it produces is accepted by employers, university disability offices, and standardised testing organisations including College Board and ETS. What makes a telehealth autism evaluation not legitimate: A brief questionnaire administered through an app and automatically scored. An intake assessment conducted by a prescriber rather than a licensed psychologist. A report without specific standardised test scores and clinical reasoning. These are not autism evaluations regardless of whether they happen online or in person. Why telehealth can actually be better for high-masking adults: The clinical office is an unfamiliar, socially demanding environment. For adults who have spent decades developing the ability to appear competent and calm in unfamiliar situations, a clinical evaluation conducted in that environment is measuring the performance rather than the underlying profile. Being evaluated at home, in a familiar environment, produces a more genuine presentation and often a more accurate clinical picture. The actual filter: Is a licensed psychologist conducting the evaluation and signing the report? Are standardised validated instruments included in the assessment? Does the report include specific test scores and clinical reasoning? If yes to all three, the evaluation is legitimate regardless of format.

📢 Participants Wanted for Research Study!

Hi everyone! I am Jasmine, a student at UCL and Anna Freud studying the MSc Early Child Development and Clinical Applications Course. I am currently recruiting participants for a research study as part of my master's degree, which will be exploring the experiences of autistic adolescent girls who play videogames on a regular basis.

I am looking for:

• Girls aged 13 to 18
• With a clinical diagnosis of autism
• Who regularly play videogames on a PC or computer
• You must live in the UK

The study aims to better understand the motivations, benefits, and challenges of videogaming for autistic teenage girls, helping to address an under-researched area within neurodiversity and gaming.

Participation will involves a short gameplay observation and an online interview conducted on Microsoft Teams. It should take no more than 1 hour and 30 mins.

If you or someone you know are interested, please fill out this short form to let us know: https://forms.cloud.microsoft/e/LePSciwqKV

For more information, please contact me through: [jia.huang.25@ucl.ac.uk](mailto:jia.huang.25@ucl.ac.uk)

You can also contact my supervisor, Dr Guilherme Fiorini through: [guilherme.fiorini@annafreud.org](mailto:guilherme.fiorini@annafreud.org)

This project has been approved by UCL's Life and Medical Sciences Research Ethics Committee (REC) - Project ID 4170.

I hate being autistic cause u kno y? I throw a lot
Of tantrums

I once came across a video where a guy was told by a woman that he tried to hang out with that he gives off “serial killer vibes.” I think this might be because earlier in the video he approaches her and asks her if she could use some company because he noticed she was alone.

I’m really afraid that if NT women weren’t afraid of being honest with me, they would’ve said this to me. I hope this never happens to me. This is probably more painful to me because I don’t have the slightest interest in breaking the law.

Welcome to this week's special interest discussion thread! Use this comment section to share about your special interests or current hyper-fixations! 

At Imperial College London researchers are investigating the effects of a natural hormone called kisspeptin on social anxiety and mood in autistic and non-autistic men. They are currently recruiting right-handed men aged 18–60 years, with a diagnosis of autism. The study involves one screening visit to check eligibility and two study visits, lasting up to 3 hours each. Participants will receive £100 for each study visit (£200 in total), in addition to travel expenses. Please email [imperial.kisspeptin@nhs.net](mailto:imperial.kisspeptin@nhs.net) if you are interested.

I've always had a special interest with marine biology and also... Mha and demon slayer.

Honestly I feel like these are the main three things people say they have "hyper fixations" on even though they don't exactly get the downsides to the fixations

There's a special kind of algae that glows!

If y'all want any fun facts let me know!

She likes breakfast sausage patties (wont eat links), bananas, noodles, pizza, Mac n cheese, chicken nuggets, and fries lol. Oh and she LOVES candy.

If so, what was that like for you? What kind of fencing was it?

Was it like historical fencing where there’s a lot of weapon variety? Or was it the modern kind where there isn’t as much?

I got into the former about a year ago.

The pet peeve I’m talking about is when a person I’m interacting with is extremely private, like there isn’t much they’re willing to share about themselves. Or for example, I ask them something about themselves that has something to do with a topic they brought up earlier and they suddenly don’t feel comfortable answering that. I actually prefer that they be an open book so I know whether or not I can uncensor myself around them. I actually remember the first time I had this pet peeve.

I was reading about someone on Wikipedia and when I read their “personal life” section, i didn’t find much. The section even started with “(person name) is very private about his personal life.” This was disappointing to me because I was used to seeing a lot of information in that kind of section on Wikipedia pages about people.

Welcome to this week's special interest discussion thread! Use this comment section to share about your special interests or current hyper-fixations! 

Was just wondering if anyone had anything nice going on they'd like to share. Today was my brother's birthday and he seemed to enjoy it more than he usually does, so that was nice.

For me it has, here are some examples

1. I found out the word “pagan” used to mean “different from the norm” centuries ago. I have used it in that sense, not with other people but just as a thought, for example I would have a thought that goes “she is very pagan and I love that about her.”

2. I read about a knight who lost his arm and got a new one made of iron and continued to participate in war even after he got a new one. Ever since I read about that, it has inspired me to believe that my disability would not keep me from trying to achieve my goals and that i shouldn’t let it limit what I wanna do.

3. There are some things about history that I wish still existed in the present, for example, I read that in early medieval times, it was normal for a noble to hit something to get someone to shut up. That sounded relatable to me because there were times where my mom or dad would go on about some issue they think I have without letting me point out that I took steps to make it less of an issue or explain to them why they’re wrong. Like when I feel like I have to point out a mistake in what they said it’s very annoying for me to have to wait until they’re done and I wish it was normal for me to just pound on a wall until they stop so they can hear me out. I’ve never acted on that urge.

4. I feel like my autism makes me view history in a very unique way because the ways that people work have long been a mystery to me so I sometimes describe learning about history as “discovering the secrets of those who came before.”

5. I have had a habit of internally trying to meet an ancient standard and it’s something I’ve brought up with my therapist.

36M, almost 37, from California, formally diagnosed with ASD, OCD, anxiety, ADHD, never had true friends in life. Interests include foreign language learning and travelling. Struggling and lost interest in life, looking to write

Some of them saved my mental health, and they are my comfort cartoons

I don't know why, but they mean more to me