My husband’s uncle had a major surgery and has been in the hospital for 3 months, he still has so many months left. He can’t move his legs at all yet.
I cook him food often when hospital allows it. But I am going to leave the town he is in and want to give him a gift. My budget is 100 USD.
Any ideas?

If you're already earning enough to live comfortably at 30, is it worth sacrificing the next few years just to earn more? That's the dilemma I've been struggling with lately. I'm 30M, working in software, earning fairly well with no loans. Getting married soon and probably starting a family in a few years. I know that if I spend the next 2-3 years seriously up-skilling, studying after work and on weekends, I could significantly increase my salary. But that also means less time for hobbies, traveling, reading, trying new things and just enjoying life.

I've always heard that 30-35 are the most crucial years to build wealth, and that you can enjoy life later. I agree to an extent, but where do you draw the line? I'm not choosing between financial struggle and enjoying life. I'm choosing between an already comfortable income and potentially earning a lot more at the cost of my personal time. So for people over 40, looking back, was the extra money actually worth the personal time you gave up? Or do you wish you'd spent more time doing things you enjoyed?

Note: My health, sleep and fitness won't be compromised either way. The trade-off is purely between spending my free time on career growth or on things I enjoy outside of work.

What is a lesson you learned in your 30s or 40s that completely changed the way you see the world? Something you wish someone had told you earlier. Let's hear it.

I am M40 years 6'3 260lbs. Work a physical job. Drive long distances between jobs. In the middle of the night I wake up with leg cramps on my calves and hamstrings. The next day my muscles are tight and extremely sore. Ive taken prednisone which usually helps. And now methocarbomal. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated

I thought I was in decent shape. I'm fairly active, I'm outdoors a lot, and only sit at a desk about 20 hours a week. I have recently lost 35 pounds by eating sensibly for once in my life, and I have about 15 more to lose.
Three days ago, I vowed to help my fat Labrador lose the 7-8 pounds he really needs to lose (he's no spring chicken, and come to think of it, we will soon be the same age in human years vs. dog years) by walking him three miles a day. To take it easy on him, I'm splitting this into 2 - 1.5 mile walks.
Now it's the end of day three, my whole lower body is sore, and the poor dog is nearly comatose. He is snoring next to me as I write this.
So - as I stare down the barrel of the remaining second half of my fifth decade - I'm very concerned about my body going downhill, which I've seen happen hard and fast to some guys - anybody got any advice on how to tackle this? For extra hilarity, I hate going to the gym and I'm essentially a lazy person. Thanks in advance, gents.

Okay, both genders struggle but there's some things both us girls and the boys won't understand about each other. Like how girls are raised to be maids and how people can see when they hit puberty so they're no longer little girls if they have visible breasts. (if you hit puberty early as a girl, it's over for you) this is the case for 70% of girls around the world. While the sons of the house get to relax. Have you guys grown up like this? I'M LOOKING FOR SOME WISDOM

starting to hit that point where keeping things rigid throughout is getting hit or miss. doctor said vascular health is fine and suggested looking into lifestyle stuff or therapy but a buddy mentioned using a vacuum device before sex to get blood flow back up. im looking into water-based pumps like bathmate since the warm water aspect seems less aggressive on skin than dry air pumps but i honestly dont know what results can you expect from a penis pump in terms of actual erection quality? im not chasing size gains or anything crazy just want to know if routine use helps train blood vessels or if its strictly a temporary temporary expansion for an hour or two. if youve used hydro pumps for mild ED, how long did it take to notice a difference?

I’m 33, going through a rough patch in life. A bit depressed. Hoping for some inspiration and hope.

Hi.
I’m in my 30’s and I want to make the most of my 30’s.
I did not have a lot of fun in my 20’s. I’ve also lost almost all my friends when I turned 30.

I want to make my 30’s amazing.
For those who are 40 and over what do you recommend and not recommend to people in their 30’s?

I shifted into advisory and coaching work and intentionally downsized. I was still earning, but I also reduced what I needed to earn.

For anyone who has deliberately cut back, what turned out to be easier to give up than you expected?

And what did you decide was worth keeping?

I'm 37, approaching 40, and I've noticed that as I've gotten older, I've developed a much greater appreciation for the arts, particularly classical and chamber music.

One thing I've been thinking about is how disconnected classical music can feel from everyday life. There's so much incredible talent out there, but I wonder how many people never experience it because traditional concerts don't appeal to them.

I've been exploring the idea of making classical music more approachable through smaller, casual events. Think live chamber music at a restaurant, bar, or café, where you could enjoy a drink, listen to talented musicians, and maybe even meet them afterward.

Some ideas I've been considering are shorter performances, musicians sharing the stories behind the pieces, and informal gatherings before or after concerts where people could ask questions and get to know the performers.

I'm curious what you guys think.

If classical music isn't normally your thing, would an experience like this make you more likely to attend? What would make it appealing enough for you to actually leave the house and give it a shot?

And if you already enjoy classical music, what originally got you interested? Would you enjoy a more relaxed setting, or do you prefer the traditional concert experience?

I'm especially interested in hearing from people who have never attended a classical concert. What would make you curious enough to try one?

why not?

or maybe you already had, how was it?

i just want to read other men experiences and opinions.

please don be offended by the question, I’m not questioning anyone sexual orientation.

In my earlier career thread, someone made a useful distinction: they still enjoyed the work, but the managers they worked under had spoiled it.

For anyone who nearly left their profession but tried a different employer first, what happened?

Did you find yourself enjoying the work again, or did the same dissatisfaction follow you?

Looking back, what would have helped you figure that out sooner?

My wife and I are right in the middle of renovating our new house, but trying to balance manual labor around the house with full-time academic careers and teenagers is getting exhausting. By the time Sunday evening rolls around, I feel like I need another weekend just to recover. How do you guys pace yourselves so you don't drive yourself crazy trying to fix up a house while raising kids?

Just turned 40, overall healthy guy but completely new to skincare. I tried a few options and I’m between a retinal product (which everyone says it’s anti aging and reduces lines), and a regular moisturizer. Any advice here?

This will be a long one so thank you in advance for taking the time to read it.

As the title states, I am turning 40 in December and to be completely honest, I am terrified. I feel incredibly lost, left behind, and like I'm completely failing at being an adult. I don't even know how I got here, but I need to get this off my chest because the weight of it is crushing me.

To lay it all out:

• Work & Money: I work a dead-end warehouse job for a company I hate. The pay is low, and I have absolutely zero saved for retirement. I've never been able to really decide what I want to do in life so I never went to college and only recently got my GED.
• The Debt: Personally, I only have about $5,000 in total debt, but for some reason, I just can't seem to chip away at it. On top of that, my wife has a little over $60,000 in debt from student loans, personal loans and Credit Card debt. Together it feels like an inescapable mountain.
• Our Living Situation: We currently rent a crappy duplex. I want so badly to be able to buy a house, but we are nowhere near the financial stability required to buy one plus my credit is crap so I won't even get looked at and my wife's is not much better.
• The Future & Kids: We don't have kids. We both want them, but I am terrified to bring a child into this world given our current situation. I feel like a complete failure as a provider.

Everywhere I look, I see other people my age who seem to have it all figured out. They dress very nice and respectable, they take vacations and go on cruises, they own beautiful homes, and the actually have money set aside for their future. Meanwhile I feel completely stuck, just spinning my wheels and going nowhere fast.

Growing up my family environment was really tough. A lot of my family members we alcoholics and partiers who spent most of their time hanging out at bars and completely wasting their money. Because of that, the house never felt very stable. On top of that, it was always my dad and my older brother doing all the "manly" things together–working on cars, building things, grilling, smoking meat. I never learned how to do any of that stuff.

To escape the chaos of all the drinking and partying, I gravitated towards video games at a young age. Fantasy worlds became my safe haven–a place where I could actually control things and find some peace away from that reality.

Fast forward to present day, I'm still stuck in that exact same loop. I still use gaming to escape and I can't seem to kick the habit. To make matters worse, I've fallen into the same trap as my family and became somewhat of an alcoholic myself. What kills me is that I actually didn't even start drinking until I was 24 years old. I thought I had avoided it, but it eventually caught up to me anyway.

Between the drinking, the stress, and the depression, I have put on a crazy amount of weight over the past 5 years or so. I've always been around 180 lbs and I am currently at my heaviest–250 lbs– and I feel incredibly uncomfortable in my own skin.

I am severely depressed, though I try to put on a happy face every day because I don't want to bring anyone else down. I want to quit gaming all day, I want to stop drinking, and I want a better life for us, but I feel like my life is spinning completely out of control. I don't know why I can't just get a hold on things.

The hardest part of all of this is my wife. She tells me she still loves me very much. She says she's proud of me for everything I do and for trying (but I know she is struggling too). But inside I feel like I am letting her down every single day. She deserves so much more and I want to give it to her.

I feel like I'm standing at the edge of 40 looking back at a blank slate and looking forward into total darkness. Has anyone else been here at this age? How do you even begin to untangle a mess this big when you have no energy left to give?

Anyways, if you made it through all of this, thank you for taking the time! I just needed to vent a bit. I hope you all have a wonderful day and thanks in advance for any advice.

Disproportionately exhausted. Constantly. Wake up tired, even after getting enough sleep.

I just walked for a few hours and I feel completely wiped out.

I understand that I'm not in my 20s any more but still....

For context, Im maybe 5 pounds overweight and have no major health issues. Also I smoked weed for a very long time (I know, stupid) and it has been a slow recovery process.

Thanks in advance.

Hi all. I'm one of the producers on Don't Let the Old Man In, a podcast for men in their 40s, 50s and 60s working out what the second half looks like. Mods, pull this if it's out of line!

Over the past year we've done episodes on what people who live to 100 do differently, starting over when your career or identity falls away, and young men and eating disorders (and what dads can watch for), among many other topics.

We launched a year ago this month. The bit I'm proudest of is that about a quarter of our viewers now come back regularly, up from around 6% at the start. To be straight, a lot of the early growth came from ads. Ads get clicks, but they don't get people to care or be as loyal.

So I'd rather ask you:

1. Where do you go for this kind of conversation, if anywhere?
2. What do midlife shows keep getting wrong?
3. What would earn an hour of your time?
4. What kind of hosts do you connect with?