Went on a date with a girl I met on Hinge. We’d been talking for about two weeks and the chemistry was actually insane. She was funny, gorgeous, and seemed normal, which honestly should’ve been my first red flag.

We went for drinks and at some point she mentioned she’d recently ended a situationship but was completely over it. Fair enough.

The date went so well that we ended up back at her place. We were sitting on her sofa when I noticed a pair of Crocs by the door. Didn’t think much of it until I went to the bathroom and found a toothbrush, skincare products, and a bonnet that definitely weren’t hers.

I came back and asked if she had a roommate.
She said no. I wish I could tell you I left immediately, but instead I sat there like a lesbian detective waiting for the next episode.

About twenty minutes later, someone unlocked the front door. It was her ex.

Apparently, they’d broken up three weeks ago, but her ex still lived there because neither of them could afford to move out. They clearly still had chemistry btw ❤️The ex looked at me asked if I wanted to order pizza and said this was apparently the third girl she’d brought home that month.

THIRD.

The garlic bread was lovely. The date was not.

Anyway, please tell me your lesbian dating horror stories because I refuse to believe I’m the only one out here accidentally joining a relationship’s exit interview. 😭

So my gf and I recently started to become more touchy but most of the stuff that we do we do it standing up like kissing groping etc but I was wondering on what's some other stuff we could do standing (sexual and non sexual) that would still feel good I know laying down would be a better option but it js feels uncomfortable and awkward when done in that way any help is appreciated!

Me and my crush started dating recently, but even before dating we were really close and stuff, like kissing each other anywhere but the lips ect. Neither one of us is experienced in anything ngl, plus I'm super shy and awkward. 😞 We have been talking about kissing and stuff recently and i'm super nervous. Do you have any suggestions? :/ My only past kisses haven't been initiated by me/not my choice so idk

hallo!! i' e been pondering this for a bit, but i was looking for some advice on whether i should tell my best friend if i like her or not.

for some context, she has been my best friend since 3rd grade & we've dated a few times over the past couple of years. now this would typically be a red flag nut we dated during weird covid middle school gap. it was hard to be able to properly communicate anything and i didn't understand how to cope with my jealousy issues at the time.

today we are just best friends, but i've been noticing some signs that maybe things might work this time? and i dont wanna be unrealistic but it has just felt like the right time. this is the only girl i will ever love, and if i have to love her unrequited then so be it, but i just wanna know if i should or not. (side note: i asked my tarot cards what i should do and the reading i got was really about waiting until the right time so idk..)

Hi, I (18F) and my gf (18F) My gf and I have been dating for almost 3 months and we’re both virgins. We’ve talked about having sex soon as shes touched my boobs and things and its getting to the point thats not enough and we’re both down and we are also both fem i would say maybe vers, but neither of us really knows what we’re doing. Every time we get close I start panicking and chicken out by like taking her hand away from my thighs over clothes and things as im worried about the practical stuff like positions, how long its supposed to last, if its supposed to hurt, all of it. She’s just as clueless as me so we can’t even laugh about it properly. Any other baby gays who had their first time with another firsttimer? How did you figure it out without making it weird? And any tips for us?

A friend of mine is a lesbian and I guess what you might call "soft butch". The friend group is basically three straight guys and her. I kind of had a realisation today that we basically treat her like a guy.

Obviously, butch lesbians are not a monolith. Still, would one typically mind being thought of as "one of the boys"? Or is this perhaps even a preference?

This story is so messy, as I'm sure it is for so many of us. I think I wondered if I was lesbian from age 10 on. But i grew up super religious. I always wanted to make out with my friends, and did in bars, but growing up religious I was like NOPE. which was so typical that I think I brushed off a lot. My first serious relationship with a guy wasn't until age 20. Then I dated around, had some bad experiences, and married a "good safe nice guy." Our marriage has been fine. Sex has always worked for me but I kind of always felt detached and was like "oh it's my past trauma."

Fast forward, we had some major housing/health crises that upset our family system. It led to me sleeping away from them being super sick and I started literally looking at my whole life and functioning. I have no idea how it came up, but a previous rupture of a friendship from a decade ago came up for me. I had been SUPER CLOSE like I always joked I'd marry her and raise kids with her. then I moved, and I confessed that i was confused if maybe I was in love with her. She wound up cheating in her marriage and marrying a woman and i was like HOLY SHIT. I want that.

But instead I moved, changed jobs, looked at moving again, over functioned, got sick. Felt more distant in my marriage, and kept going until I got really sick. Fast forward to now. I have a husband that has always been by my side. Arguably he's one of my best friends, but I've always felt like something is off, missing, missed, mis-attunement, etc. We've done couples therapy, etc.

Well. I finally asked for a structured separation and non-monogamy. I slept with a woman for the first time and it was like my whole narrative shattered. I didn't even have an orgasm (because for me I think there is still a lot of mental hurdles, inhibition, fear, I'm working through) but I enjoyed the hell out of every second of it. What was MORE shocking was I was so terrified like omg what if i hate it, what if i'm bad at it, etc. Nope. it was SO intuitive and she helped me know what she wanted and i was like OMG. I want that to be what i experience in intimacy every single time. I want to be an active participant. Tried scissoring... I loved going down on her more than i ever could have realized. And myself, i felt fully seen, met - and i realize I'm untangling a shitload of religious conditioning, and she's patient with me to learn what works for me, go slowly, and there wasn't any pressure to get off. I know for me I've always wanted to be a more "uninhibited" person and I feel liek this is more accessible and I wasn't able access this version of myself in my marriage.

I'm not looking at her like OMG SHE'S THE ONE. Even though *phew* it's hard to not to fall hard. We have both been transparent there because she's also divorcing and we are being careful. Hour distance between us which helps the "baby gay" phase of wanting to explore that for hours on the daily because i have kids to focus on. We are getting to know each other and communicating openly as we both have kids and jobs.

The hardest part is we have a path of financial devastation right now with the house we owned (we actually are losing everything which was due to catastrophic mold) and I actually can't afford to rent a place for myself AND for my husband. He does know a lot of this about my sexuality, I opened up thinking I was definitely not straight 6 months ago and confessed like I have a hella deep attraction to women - he doesn't know I explored yet but it was after the agreement to non-monogamy and separation. I wouldn't want to move in with someone because I know grief of 19 years of being together will be monumental. We have discussed a lavendar marriage, platonic co parenting, vs true separation, but I also want happiness for him. I feel fond love and familiarity with him and sometimes wonder if it could work... but then I'm like i can't deny this piece of myself either.

Any words of wisdom or chatting is welcome. this feels insane to navigate with three young kids that are school age and a "kind man" and arguably a good marriage to the outside. Thanks.

Throughout my childhood, I was interested in boys and \*\*regularly\*\* had crushes on them. When I was younger, I remember some sexual curiosity involving boys, although I was obviously very young at the time, i would get boy friends to like go on top of me etcetc😭. I also remember playing video games and trying to find myself a boyfriend, so i could roleplay like a relationship with him lol. I remember feeling flustered during these scenarios as we would pretend to cuddle,etc. and i would like draw pictures of me and the online boyfriend and stuff.

Around ages 11–12, I would feel giddy, nervous and excited around boys. I would get flustered around them, want their attention and feel jealous or upset if they liked someone else.
When I was 13, I entered a relationship with a boy that lasted around 2.5 years. We never had sex, but we frequently ground against each other, which I enjoyed physically and could orgasm from. I also had sexual fantasies around that age, more so than I do now. Towards the end of the relationship, I started losing feelings as I was noticing other boys.

I also had a significant crush on another boy whom I had liked on and off since I was 11. i remember it just felt like we were soultied, we just knew eachother so well and deeply and I wanted to talk to him constantly, wanted him to like me and wanted to be in the same room as him whenever i could. I remember playing footsie under the table with him, which made me feel flustered, and my feelings became more intense around ages 15–16 but unfortunately he didnt want a relationship as he still wasnt over his ex, but i tried my best to be with him despite that.

After that, I spoke to a boy from Sweden whom I met online during a time where i had a interest in male snowboarders on Instagram. I really liked him and fantasised about visiting him. I even took compatibility tests to see whether we would work out as a couple. When he ended things, I was genuinely upset. i ended up writing a whole diary about like how confused i was that he didnt like me, and i drew pictures of him, etc.

I then spoke to another boy for around eight months. Although things were toxic and he never really wanted to meet up with me, I liked him a lot and cried over him frequently (horrible guy). When we eventually met in person, I felt extremely nervous. As soon as I saw him, I experienced a sort of dizziness and my attention immediately focused on him. We watched a film together, and I remember holding his hand and rubbing it with my thumb. It felt very sensual and electric to me. Things eventually ended because he wasn’t treating me well.

Later, I developed a crush on a boy in one of my classes. He made me feel nervous, giddy and excited. i wanted to make eye contact with him, wanted to like laugh and smile at him whenever someone made a joke to see if hed look at me too. I remember telling him I had never tried Dr Pepper, and when he bought me one, I felt incredibly flustered and excited. It was such a small gesture, but I remember how strongly I reacted to it. I wanted a relationship with him, partly because I had been messed around before, and I found myself pushing for things to become official. i also remember video calling in the evening and i was excited and nervous for that, however i remember feeling sort of like not as cool as him as i didnt listen to as much music as him, and that was an important thing in his life. and also i remember him making a comment about a womans boobs or something whilst on call and i felt rlly upset and like offput. Things eventually ended, and I think I may have been too intense for him.

I was involved with a man I met online, and I liked talking to him from the beginning. We had chemistry straight away, and I remember experiencing butterflies when we messaged. I felt comfortable with him and enjoyed building a connection with him. I enjoyed kissing, cuddling and being intimate with him, including cuddling naked. I particularly enjoyed receiving physical affection and pleasure, and I could usually orgasm within around five minutes when he used his hands or performed oral sex on me. I enjoyed the physical side of our relationship and looked forward to being close to him. i enjoyed pda and just being able to lean into him or kiss him spontaneously and it just brang me comfort. There were also occasions when we were in public or in a dark space and he stood behind me, held me or touched my bum under my skirt. These situations made me feel aroused and breathless, and I sometimes wanted to grind back against him. I also enjoyed the thought of making him feel turned on. On some occasions, we would be cuddling and watching a film, and I would start feeling aroused and initiate intimacy myself.

I remember another experience at a concert when I was drunk and noticed a man. We kept making eye contact, and I became increasingly aware of him. Eventually, he was standing behind me, and I thought I was dancing against him, which made me feel flustered and aroused. Later that evening, we were walking along the same route home, with him ahead of me, and I remember wanting him to turn around and notice me.I’ve also enjoyed flirting with men and found it fun and exciting. There have been situations where I’ve noticed a man I find cute and made playful eye contact with him, enjoying the excitement of the interaction and the possibility that something might happen.

my dilemma is that i have I sometimes experience immediate arousal-like sensations from simply looking at a woman’s chest or bum, whereas I don’t seem to experience that same immediate physical response from simply looking at a man.🤷‍♀️

am i a lesbian?

ok so, i (19F) have been identifying as bisexual for a while now. i‘ve only dated one person ever, and that was a girl my senior year of high school. i KNOW i like women, but guys are a whole different story. i’ve had a crush on one guy in my whole life, and i dont even know if it was an actual crush or not. i’ve also found myself attracted to fictional men, but when i think about the possibility of ACTUALLY dating them, i get sick to my stomach. same thing with the aforementioned guy. like, there’s nothing wrong with being bisexual, but i just dont know if maybe i havent found the right guy yet or maybe im just bi with a heavy female lean? i’d just like some guidance from other people

Heyy
I've dated my long-distance partner for about five months at this point. I'm her first partner she's had, shes farther down the line for me. I've had lots of experience with toxic relationships before, but with her I've finally been able to both put up boundaries and respect hers, and we've been able to have the most wonderful time.
She recently (3 weeks ago?) brought up that she might be aroace, even though she really likes calling me her girlfriend and wishes we could act this way all the time even if we were just really good friends, and I told her that I couldn't continue giving the relationship so much effort and care if it isn't romantic. I was ready to split things off but she said that she was just being an "indecisive coward" and that what we had was actually romantic. Since then I, it took me a minute but I started thinking that we would be okay and that maybe we could make plans to see each other in the future so on...
Monday last week she called to tell me that turns out that she actually was aroace, and that she can't continue the relationship. She said she'll still care for me and that I can't reach out whenever and since then she hasn't reached out. This is the longest we've gone without texting and I just don't know what to do, how to feel... i knew she was gonna break up with me and I just watched her cry during that call and I said nothing but try to be supportive and now I don't know what to do.

Can anyone offer advice? Or consultation? ty for reading bye

Me (21y/o butch) and my gf (21 y/o, femme) have a dumb argument about whether trucks qualify as cars.

I know it's stupid, but I've shown her countless quora and reddit posts proving that trucks are different vehicles than cars. It is worth mentioning my gf is american. She said she isn't listening to the opinion of men and wants a lesbians opinion on this.

I believe trucks are separate from cars, designed mainly to carry objects and cargo while cars are designed to carry passengers. I also am doing a degree in mechanical engineering and have learned that they have very different builds and engines, so I believe they're two separate types of vehicles. My gf on the other hand believes trucks are a type of car.

Who is correct here?

Edit: please don't take this too seriously, this argument is just for shits and giggles and we love each other very much.

my girlfriend’s always preferred fingers over toys, she says toys feel kind of ‘removed’ and it’s the closeness she loves. but my hands get tired and i’d love to add something without losing that feeling for her. anyone found something that keeps the hand feel but adds a little extra?

I just spent two hours making my girl beg for mercy. The way her back arches and her eyes roll back when I hit the right spot with my fingers or the strap is better than any drug. I cum just from the sight of her breaking. Am I the only one who gets off on the sheer dominance of it?

I think i’m a lesbian. My husband
(21yo) and I(19yo) got married in early 2025 (We’re young, I know.) Our relationship was fine, or so I thought. My friend recently moved in with us. She’s a lesbian and is a really good friend of ours. We met early on in highschool and stayed good friends. She even moved across the country to come and live with us. Well, I think i’m falling in love with her. My husband has been working a lot and her and I are both unemployed atm (between jobs), so we’ve been spending a lot of time together. We flirt back and forth in a friendly way and our friendship is just amazing. She has the best since of humor and she honestly does more nice things for me than my husband ever has. I have identified as a lesbian in the past and now identify as bisexual but I have never romantically or sexually been with a woman. My parents are homophobic so i’ve only came out to my friends. But these thoughts I have about her make me feel like I’ve been a lesbian this whole time and have just been going with the motions. The way I feel for her is so different than anything i’ve felt about a man. My husband and I got married because he’s in the military and we wanted to be together where he is stationed. But now i’m regretting this because of these feelings and I feel like I have no one to turn to about it. I feel like a monster for doing this to my husband. He’s not the best partner but he’s not a bad person by any means. And i’m also worried that if I told my friend, shit would fly off the rails. She just moved in with us recently, we’re in a long lease, life is so busy with trying to find a job, my husband is working a lot, and this secret is just always there in the front of my mind through all of it. I’m scared that this will ruin my life, so fucking scared. I’m not asking anyone to tell me my sexuality, because i’m almost certain i’m a lesbian. I just don’t know how to tell him or my friend.

Hey guys.

I’ll be transitioning into the workplace soon, and I’ve been wondering about how people’s perception of me might help, or hinder, my career growth.

When I’m in male dominated spaces, I find there tends to be an implicit assumption that I use my looks to my advantage. Don’t know what the fuck they’re thinking, but the implicit assumption is communicated through looks, comments etc.

It’s something that I’ve noticed for a while … but something I wasn’t able to confidently claim until recently.

Anyways. I’m coming to grips with my sexuality, and the times where I’ve asserted that I have no sexual interest in men, there seems to be an immediate improvement in the way people treat me.

Other women stop treating me like a threat, men stop treating me like an option - it’s freeing.

Obviously this, largely, will be dependent on where one lives … but assume I live in a very progressive environment.

Has anyone else had this experience? And more broadly, do you think that being known as a lesbian has allowed people to consider your skills more fairly? And has this led to better career outcomes for you?

i had the same issue with my wrists, and it got uncomfortable pretty quickly. what helped me was trying a thigh harness so I could use my hips more instead of doing all the work with my hands. i also really like the bumpher since I can grind against the base without having to keep my wrist in an awkward position. it's made a big difference in terms of comfort for me.

Today she came home in a good mood, over texting me through the day. I thought something was up. Out of curiosity I asked her what she had for lunch and she said a “turkey sandwich” but hesitated. I quickly learned she walked down with a girl from the office. I learned about what they like, what house they would be apart if they were at “Hogwarts” giddy talk she was excited to speak of this with me. So I listened.. later that night my intuition was screaming to ask her who’s gay in the office? She said nobody is. But eventually she told me the girl she walked down to grab lunch with has a pride flag on her ask desk. I learn this is the girl she works very close with as well. I’m just now learning she’s gay or gay curious Or according to my girlfriend she doesn’t know if she’s gay or not. She’s “never asked”. Someone also gave her a shirt that says “girls like girls” that’s odd to me. She wouldn’t say who. Maybe I’m looking too deep but also I had left my keys in her car. In the passenger side door compartment and that night she brought them to me. I thought… why would you be on the passenger side door compartment cleaning it out? And this particular day? My keys had been there for days. Did they go out to lunch so she moved my stuff and found them.. Is it a coincidence? Who would be comfortable with their girlfriend receiving a shirt that says GIRLS LIKE GIRLS. Would you be okay with your partner receiving something like this from a coworker? Sounds unprofessional to me. Also thank you for the comments telling me I’m paranoid. I also understand my post may seem scattered or not having much punctuation I’m dyslexic so getting my point across through typing is not easy. I appreciate anyone who took the time to read this.

I get nervous, shaky, and fidgety around this woman I have a major crush on.

My heart is damn near pounding out of my chest when this woman is anywhere near me. I keep telling myself to relax, but can't.

Pretty sure she thinks I'm an idiot.

Girls how to know if she is lesbian

i apologize for the long post, I didnt realize I had this much to say but I appreciate any help.

ive been struggling with my sexuality for a while, pretty much my whole life. for a long time I thought I was bi, the first person I dated ever was in high school and was a girl. we dated for a while and I genuinely felt love for her. I never questioned if I wasnt attracted to women or to her. in my eyes she was the most beautiful girl to grace this earth. I did always wonder, since I thought I was bi, what it was like to be with a man but it was always a passing thought. i think i felt pressured to be with a man, and i always had fictional crushes who were men or celebrity crushes who were men so I always wondered what it would actually be like.

now flash forward to today, im 21 and ive been with my boyfriend, 27, for almost 2 years. we met online so we havent been able to actually see each other in person. i can confidently say that he is my best friend, he knows me better than anyone and hes very easy for me to talk to. but in a few weeks he will be visiting me and ive been struggling with the idea of being around him in a romantic way. he really wants to be intimate, and before we had plans to actually meet, I wouldnt have a problem with this idea. but now that its so close to happening, the more uneasy and stressed/anxious I feel. i dont want to be intimate with him, I know that for a fact but I know he will be expecting it. he keeps bringing it up like its the only thing hes looking forward to and i just feel deeply uncomfortable. i just chalked my fear up to be caused by the fact that ive never been intimate with anyone before, (ive only kissed one person, which was my ex) but I dont know.

I've had thoughts of accepting if I am a lesbian and just have him as an exception because I truly treasure and value him as a friend. i dont want to risk that friendship i have with him, but I feel like deep down being bi/with him is just not who I am. ive had these feelings months ago and shoved it down because we were in a rough patch. i try to imagine myself with a different man in the future if its just me not wanting to be with my boyfriend, and i dont see myself being happy.

im terrified of being a lesbian because I feel like im disappointing everyone, and including him. im just so scared. he has seen me at my absolute worst and I dont know if I can rebuild a relationship or friendship like that again. (I struggle with social anxiety and agoraphobia so it feels so impossible.) I also know if we break up I'll lose him as a friend (hes told me multiple times if we ever broke up he'll never be friends with an ex. which I respect his boundaries, so i could understand why he would want that)

im just so stuck and I dont know what to do. I feel so trapped. I love him but I dont know if its in a romantic way, or if its ever been in that way. hes told me that I dont flirt with him or send him any nudes like he wants me to. I just struggle with being comfortable with sending and i try to flirt with him but my mind goes blank. i just dont know what to do.

I guess my question is just.. has anyone here also experienced questioning your sexuality in a straight relationship? I just feel so guilty for even feeling this way. i dont know what to do.

i have two friends that are dating eachother we all are pretty close but never have i found them attractive even tho they look pretty they just feel like one of your guy friends

A girl I used to have class with two years ago sent me a random snap of a video of her petting her cat at midnight last night and it was super random because I haven’t talked to her since that class and even then we only talked like the first two weeks and it was friendly. But I replied and then we’ve been snapping back and forth, she sends like cute vids of her lypsyncing or in the mirror and I was like body face hair music all tea for which she replied when we hanging. And I was like I’m in town Thursday and Saturday and her answer was noncommittal. Was just like we def gotta hang. I’m worried bc I have no idea how to flirt with her.

She is like super hot but I had no idea I was her type and I’m like cutsey but I’m overweight and she’s like perfect bod so idk how not to act awkward around her.

Like my weights an insecurity and so far this semester all I’ve done is study/hw and read smutty books so idk how to like relate to her or not be awkward around her.

Any advice? What does liek ff flirting look like tho? I don’t wanna misread signs

(I’m so sorry if I came off as offensive at any point, I’m not a shallow person but idk how to like make new friends or girlfriends)

I’m 20 and have shaved my whole life but have recently been wondering what it would be like it I grew it out. I’m concerned that it may itch or feel uncomfortable with certain clothes. Or hookups might be grossed out by it. Am I better off trimming a certain way? Can anyone tell me what it’s like to grow it out??

my girlfriend’s birthday is coming up and she loves being strapped, so i want to get her something she’ll actually use and get excited about, not some gimmicky thing that ends up in a drawer. any ideas?