I've struggled with anxiety for as long as I can remember. During my adolescence and early adulthood, it was mostly social anxiety. Over the years, however, it evolved into something much more pervasive. I've since been diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder and panic disorder, and I'm currently taking 60 mg of paroxetine.

But Xanax feels like a miracle drug to me.

And I'm not talking about getting high, feeling euphoric, or escaping reality. I'm talking about something much simpler: that constant, gnawing feeling in my stomach finally disappearing. The endless background tension going quiet. Being able to sit at home on a weekend and just... sit. Without feeling like something is wrong, something bad is about to happen, or there's something I should be worrying about.

Just existing. Being present. Feeling normal.

I'm a medical doctor myself. I understand benzodiazepines, tolerance, dependence, withdrawal, and why long-term use is problematic. I'm not under any illusion that Xanax is some magical long-term solution. Besides, in the country where I live, it's not a medication you can simply keep getting prescribed indefinitely.

But that's not really the point of this post.

What hurts me is realizing that this sense of peace, this effortless ability to simply exist in the present moment, is something I may have never genuinely experienced in my entire life.

It's almost like discovering that other people have been living with a level of internal quiet that I didn't even know was possible.

And the fact that I need a medication like Xanax to experience something that seems so ordinary, so fundamental to being human, is genuinely heartbreaking.

I don't even want to feel good all the time. I just want to know what it's like to exist without constantly feeling bad.

People who can relate to this: Not the high, not the sedation, but the almost painful realization of what feeling normal might actually be like?

Used to deal with crazy anxiety, heart palpitations, air hunger, DPD, chest tightness, dizziness,tight clenched jaw all of it you name it. The biggest thing helped me get through it was i remember talking to a friend and asking for advice telling him everything i was experiencing. He straight up told me most of those symptoms are exasperated by adrenaline and for most people “ DeAtH” and he was right i was always extremely nervous on adrenaline and fear that this isnt anxiety i might die. He said he used to deal with shit like this until one day he said fuck it if he’s gonna die he’s gonna die fuck the hospital fuck asking for doctors and shit. Just die young blood. Then guess what you don’t even end up dying because it’s. A-N-X-I-E-T-Y. After that talk i started just saying to my self fuck it. FUCK IT ive done enough to see what’s wrong with me Anxiety or not ima get through this if i die fuck it ima live my life normally. Ever since any symptom that flares up i approach it with the same mind set and im genuinely in a better state of mind now i don’t deal with anxiety that bad anymore.

I'm writing this in hoping that somebody will be able to uh relate to it and maybe tell me what they did or what they're doing.

For the past few months, I've been in a very highly activated state. Daily, I have song loops in my mind. Sometimes it's a song I just heard, sometimes it's a song that's in my memories, but there's always like a background sound of music in my brain. And also in the morning I usually wake up around 5am And if I try to sleep again, I get these waves of intrusive thoughts, like bizarre things that never happened to me or are not me at all.

I've tried being on traditional SSRIs I've tried Zoloft I tried Lexapro but they're too activating for me. Next possible try will be ramaram or mortazepine. If you've had any experience with this, please relate. No negative or horrible horror stories, please. I've had enough of these on this forums.

So, if anybody can relate, I'd like to know I'm not alone living through this and thanks for reading me

Does anyone get the feeling of impending doom anxiety a day or two before their birthday? This started happening to me this year I don’t know why

I just want to live a normal life with no anxiety like a normal person

I've been unemployed for almost 2 years now... Well I technically worked 2 jobs since I got let go from my last but I only lasted 2 days at each before just mentally giving up.... I don't know why I've been doing this... And now I'm gonna go back to the last job I worked at before giving up but only part time but I'm still freaking the hell out! Idk why I'm feeling like this.... In the past I always worked and never had an issue with it whatsoever.... So why am I feeling like this now!... I want to work! But I really don't want to work in blue collar anymore.... I've tried finding a job where I can work from home by looking on indeed but can't find anything that seems legit....

I've truly had enough.

I've suffered from anxiety since I was a small child. I only started to struggle with gut issues at the age of 25. I'm 53 now and have had every digestive health test under the sun which all come back normal so my gastroenterologist has since discharged me. I've worked with therapists, psychologists, counsellors, hypnotherapist, EMDR specialists and spend 4 years under the care of a neuro-gastroenterology department at a well known London hospital (I'm in the UK).

I've tried endless diets, exercise routines, mindfulness, meditation, off the shelf meds and prescribed meds (SSRIs make everything in my gut SO much worse), TCAs make me zombie-like, I'm currently on Nortriptyline and trying to wean off.

NOTHING seems to have helped me, nothing.

Perimenopause has made my anxiety and gut issues a million times worse as does caring for a parent with advanced dementia. HRT made my endometriosis worse.

I was diagnosed with inattentive ADHD last year but those meds were the worst for my stomach issues.

Tbh, I feel I can live with the actual anxious thoughts, I've lived with them most of my life at the end of the day, I can handle that but I just can't live anymore with a painful, embarrassingly unpredictable digestive system. I don't want to live with constant belching, farting, bloating, nausea and having to rush to the toilet at a moments notice. I barely go out anymore.

Does anyone else have this as a side effect of their anxiety? Is there any hope or shall I just totally give up on life?

Hi everyone,
I’ve been dealing with anxiety for a while, but about 1.5 months ago, a completely new symptom started and it's making me a bit nervous.
Whenever I lie down on my stomach, I feel a nearly constant vibrating or buzzing sensation deep inside my abdomen. It honestly feels like an internal cell phone is vibrating non-stop. It’s not painful, but because it's constant, it makes it really hard to relax or fall asleep.
I am a 27F, currently taking 200mg of Magnesium. Has anyone else with anxiety experienced these specific "internal vibrations" in the stomach area when lying prone? Did anything help make it go away?
Thank you so much.

Hello, I’m a 6’2 25 year old male. I’ve had generalized anxiety for the past year or so. Intense at times but manageable. In March I was diagnosed with cancer and went through chemo and finished 2 months ago.

Only until recently the past 5 or so days I’ve noticed I have this habit to write everything down, keywords, topics from conversations, music lyrics, random words that stick out to me. I can’t even watch TV or movies without writing names and important things down. I guess I’m looking for advice on what I should do since this is so new I want to break that habit. It’s exhausting. I’m already in contact with the VA for therapy and I just started Lexapro and Buspar 3 days ago. Thank you 🙏

Hi guys - I'm 24F and I'd really appreciate any advice from anybody who has had both positive and negative experiences with SSRIs or anybody that has trialed a few to find one that worked for them. To give a brief overview, I have your bog standard anxiety, health anxiety and emetophobia, the latter of which has been heckling me for as long as I can remember. It used to just be a phobia isolated to a trigger, that only bothered me when something actually popped up, like meeting with someone who later was sick. It's just gradually crept from there into all areas of my life, and over the last few months I have reached a point where I am dreading leaving the house.

I currently have a prescription for beta blockers which I use, mostly unsuccessfully, to manage the panic attacks. I also have anti-nauseas, which I have been informed by my doctor I shouldn't be on long term due to the risk of heart complications. Every time I have a check-in about my medications, they encourage me to consider an SSRI. Until now, I have not felt like it was the right choice at all - it's seems like a 'commitment', and a big choice, and I know I would really struggle with the side effects. I'm worried they would trigger everything I'm putting a lot of energy into keeping in check where I can. However, I'm really starting to think they might be an option I have to take as I'm tired of missing out on things, or counting the minutes for an event to be over that I previously would have loved to be at.

It just makes me sad, because it's not me and it's not what I used to be like - I love my hobbies, and my friends, I love the outdoors and it's finally getting in the way of enjoying these things. Can anybody provide their honest experiences of SSRIs and whether they've made a difference? I kind of want to go into a GP appointment with a better understanding than I currently have so I can properly advocate myself if that makes sense (I'm of course doing research outside reddit!). Thank you so much!

So my toddler got ahold of thus crazy bright flashlight and shined it directly into my eye while I was laying on the couch. I git a instant rush of dizziness and light headed that lasted just a minute or so.. i stood up a min later and got pretty dizzy.. now im scared..

I hate how one body sensation can make me feel so anxious and just plain exahsted for the rest of the day..

I don't really know where to start, but I think I just need to get this off my chest. I want to know if there is anyone out there who has experienced something similar, because lately, I've been feeling so alone in this.

I used to feel like I was a normal girl. But then I met someone I became attached to. We were never officially together, but somehow, meeting him changed my life in ways I never expected.

Ever since then, I've been experiencing so much anxiety. It's not just in my head anymore; it feels like my body is reacting to it, too. Sometimes I make weird sounds or swallow my saliva really loudly, and I become so aware of every little thing my body does. It makes me feel uncomfortable in my own skin, especially when I'm around other people.

Almost every day, my mind is flooded with negative thoughts. I overthink so much that I can barely focus on what's happening around me. Sometimes, when people talk to me, I can't even bring myself to respond properly. It's not necessarily because I want to ignore them, but my mind feels so overwhelmed that even replying can become difficult.

But I know that, from the outside, it probably doesn't look that way.

People might think I'm ignoring them on purpose. They might think I'm rude, arrogant, or a bitch. And honestly, I don't know how many people have already formed that opinion of me.

I know I have done things that contributed to this situation, too. I'm not trying to pretend that I'm completely innocent or that everything is someone else's fault. Some of the things I've done have disappointed my family, and I feel like people see me differently now. There are things I regret, and sometimes I wonder how I ended up becoming this version of myself.

I'm currently on a scholarship from a big company, and instead of feeling proud of where I am, I feel like people around me dislike me. I know it's not literally everyone, but it feels that way sometimes, especially when I hear the things some people say about me.

I've even heard people say things like, "It's okay, she'll die soon anyway,"

I don't know how to explain what it feels like to hear things like that when you're already struggling with your own thoughts. Those words stay in my head, and they make everything feel even heavier.

The hardest part is that I sometimes feel like I've become the very person I never wanted to be. I feel disgusting. I feel problematic. I feel like I've disappointed my family and become someone people don't want to be around.

And I keep wondering how much of this is because of what happened with him, how much is because of my own actions, and how much is because of the way people perceive me now. I honestly don't know how to separate all of it anymore.

I miss feeling normal. I miss being able to talk to people without overthinking every little thing. I miss being able to focus on my daily life without constantly fighting negative thoughts in my head.

I don't know if anyone will understand what I'm trying to say here. Maybe my situation is different from yours, and maybe I haven't explained it perfectly. But I really want to know if someone else has ever experienced something like this.

Have you ever become so anxious, overwhelmed, or changed by an experience with someone that you barely recognize yourself anymore? Have you ever felt like people only see the worst version of you, while you are struggling with things they can't see?

I don't necessarily need someone to tell me that I'm right or that everyone else is wrong. I just want to know if I'm alone in feeling this way.

If you've ever gone through something similar, I'd really appreciate hearing your story.

So when I was a kid, I chose to go to a bathhouse with my uncle. Since I was very young, I don't remember anything, but recently, I've started thinking about this more and my brain has started to create hypothetical scenarios such as what if I was touched inappropriately by someone or even my uncle, or what if my uncle accidentally made contact with my private parts, or whether I even washed or changed alone, and stuff of its sort. As I said, I don't remember anything so the uncertainty is really driving me insane. How do I stop this?

Hello everyone, I juts had a therapy session and my therapies is suggesting inpatient programs for me. Because my anxiety is so severe. I also have a SEVERE phobia of medication and can’t get myself to take any pill to help with my anxiety. my anxiety is so bad that I cannot function at all at this point and still I can’t get myself to take the Zoloft my doctor prescribed. Doctor even gave me clonazepam to calm me down to take the Zoloft and still I can’t do it. Can’t take the pill. I have not left my house in a week. Half of the week I was in bed crying all day. It’s been hell. Still I can’t take the medication. I don’t know what to do. I am so lost. If I go to an inpatient program I would have to be away from my kids and my husband will have to do everything by himself. ( not that I am huge help right now) please would anyone talk to me????? Juts say few words to me ?

Context: I’m a 20 year old guy current in fall semester of my sophomore year. I was diagnosed with GAD in 2022 and I’ve been on 100mg of Zoloft since then. I was basically symptom free in those 4 years and now that I’ve started my sophomore year of college it seems like my previous symptoms have returned for like the past month and a half. I haven’t had any crazy life events other than moving back to college and my dog passing away. I know yall probably aren’t medical professionals but do you think my medication has stopped working? Have I built up a tolerance to it? Or do I just have some short term breakthrough anxiety?

Hey guys! Basically I wanted to share, weed is the only thing that helps me other than a Ativan, so basically let me get to the point, I have a panic attack disorder that makes me nauseous/have flight or fight responses (body and mind) like numb neck, pain in chest, tingling fingers, arms and fingers locking up and moving to my chest, hyperventilating sometimes it even locks my mind up altering the way I think and not letting me think clearly or at all, if you have any suggestions that would be wonderful, have been to the we a couple of times and they give me lorazepam, I have had, seroquil, hydroxizine, propanalol, venflaxine, fluoxetine, as well as many more, they have prescribed me ssris/snris, anti psychotics, beta blockers, and some other things, nothing works, and the only thing I keep telling them is this! I have also seen white red and green static when having a panic attack in the workplace to go get benzos! Thank you so much for your time, may you all be well.

I had to go back up from 175mg Pregabalin to 200mg after tapering. I feel so ill, I don’t know what to do. I’m scared I’m going to end up in psychiatric hospital again. I’ve been back on 200 since Monday and I still feel so bad. Chronic mental and physical anxiety. My psych appointment is not until 17th December. I don’t know whether to hold at 200 or go up higher.

For those who are medicated and battle anxiety or depression. How is your daily work life? How do overcome the dread and how long have you been suffering and dreading work?

I’ve had issues with certain people in the past, but I’ve chosen to forgive them and move on with my life rather than hold onto resentment.

The thing is, whenever I see them in person, I still get a weird feeling in my stomach. I’m not scared of them, and I don’t feel like I need to prove anything or have any problems with them. I’ve mentally moved on, but my body seems to react differently when they’re around.

Has anyone else experienced this? Is it normal to get that physical reaction even when you’ve forgiven someone and genuinely moved on?

Would appreciate hearing other people’s experiences.

I’ve been having anxiety attacks for 3 days ina row, mainly focused on my breathing. Everytime it happens, I feel like I’m dying, and I keep using finger monitors every 10 minutes for peace of mind. I’ve never had anxiety like this before,and it’s exhausting. It all started about 4 weeks ago after I greened out from weed and had my first ever panic attack. I also used 2 Thcp vapes, and I’m scared they might’ve been fake or contained something harmful, like vitamin E acetate. I went to the doctor about 3 weeks ago and had an ECG, Xray, and bloodwork, andeverything came back normal. I felt like I was getting better, but now the attacks are back, and most of the time I shake uncontrollably and get chills.I don’t know what to do anymore, and I’m scared something might actually be wrong with me right now I’m not even shaking right now I did have some shaking tho and I feel like theirs a lump in my throat and in my chest it’s just it’s scaring me making me think it’s not anxiety

Anxiety has been ruining my life for 5 years. I was finally in a really good place after years of trauma and abuse. But then due to all the stress and never getting any treatment, I started to get severe depersonalisation/derealisation due to anxiety. That feeling has been in my life for 5 years, and it has cost me so much, it cost me friends, grades, I became an alcoholic for two years to cope with it, (gained a crazy amount of weight, and ruined how beautiful I once was) threw away so much time because of it, and also became depressed and suicidal because of it. I’m finally sober, but the feelings are still there, and theres so much I can’t do because I’m still so afraid of those feelings coming.. they’re ruining my life.. I just want it to stop. I already am on lots of different medications, but nothing seems to work. Im so tired.. please anything helps

When my head is racing, the 5-4-3-2-1 exercise helps more than trying to think my way out: name five things you can see, four you can feel, three you can hear, two you can smell, one you can taste. It sounds too simple, but it pulls attention out of the worry loop and into the room. It won't fix the problem, it just turns the volume down enough to think.

My therapist asked me how I felt about the idea that I may just be an anxious person for the rest of my life and the thought terrified me.

I hate it. I hate feeling like I’m dying. I hate being scared of living and doing things. I want to live my life fully and i feel like I can’t. I’ve been taking antidepressants for 4 weeks and I still feel awful.

Does it get better or will I have to learn to live like this forever? I just want it to stop