Last weekend, my grandparents hosted a big Thanksgiving family dinner. My distant cousins, Emily (31F) and John (30M), had travelled from another province with their daughter, Chelsea (8months; fake names). Chelsea is still in diapers and was wearing a cute Thanksgiving-themed onesie.

My grandparents had set up a long dining table with a linen tablecloth, candlesticks, and Thanksgiving decorations. It was a beautifully-decorated table. Before dinner, everyone was socializing when I noticed Emily had sat Chelsea directly on the table, while multiple relatives cooed and took pictures of her with the table decorations. I, however, was horrified. Chelsea was wearing a diaper and a onesie, but her bottom was still directly on the table where we were about to eat.

When we sat for dinner, I tried to sit at the opposite end of the table. But my parents wanted me to sit with them, and asked why I was avoiding their end. After a few attempts to deflect the question, I finally just said "I don't want to eat there because the baby was just sitting there."

I don't remember Emily or John being within earshot, but some of the relatives who had been taking pictures of Chelsea were nearby. The tablecloth was linen, so it couldn't be quickly wiped down and sanitized. And I didn't want to ask my grandparents to remove the tablecloth and undo all their decorations. So I just sat elsewhere.

After dinner, I saw Emily holding Chelsea and looking upset while talking to other relatives. I couldn't hear what she was saying, so I don't know whether it was about me. Emily and John eventually left without saying goodbye to me.

On the drive home, my mom assured me there was nothing wrong or gross about a baby sitting on a dining table, because she was wearing a diaper. I asked my mom if she would be comfortable with a diapered adult who had incontinence issues sitting on her dining table, and she admitted she wouldn't be. She eventually said that it's OK because it's a baby, and I don't understand because I don't have children. And that's kind of where the conversation ended.

I don't think my mom or anyone else could convince me that a baby's bottom is clean just because it belongs to a baby, but I also don't want to unfairly criticize or embarrass new parents like my cousins. I don't see them often, but I still want to get their number to apologise if they overheard my comment. However, I also don't believe I'm wrong for not wanting to eat off of a surface that someone was just sitting on. AITA?

Edited to correct some typing mistakes.

My Future DIL asked guest to wear blue for their very small wedding (under 20 guests) four months ago. No mention of any other item. She told us they are having a handfasting at the ceremony. My family and my husbands family are of Scottish descent-(dad was Scottish) we live in the USA. So I got out my tartan sash and two months prior to the wedding I told my son I was going to wear it. Three weeks prior to the wedding I was told not to wear it-and to choose between wearing it or not going to the ceremony. I was taken aback by the demand-I won’t be wearing it -but I am very disappointed that we can’t show our tartans. I’ve never heard of a bride controling the accessories-and I do have an all blue suit to wear. Is this something brides do these days? AITA for feeling miffed?

For context we’re both in our 30’s with 2 young toddlers. We both work highly demanding job. His is constant high stress while mine ebb and flows, but right now I’m on a project with tight deliverables so have been under a bit of pressure.

My husband was working late that day which meant I had evening duty with the kids. My day started at 6am waking up and taking care of the kids, out the door by 7am to go to work, home at 4:30pm and straight into making dinner, serving everyone dinner (for those without kids, dinner with 2 toddlers throwing food everywhere is a production), getting the kids bathed and into bed and asleep.

Meanwhile I wasn’t feeling great myself and dealing with stomach pains and general stress and fatigue. It was 9pm by the time I was finally done with the kids, and headed downstairs to clean up the kitchen and pack the kids lunch for school next day.

Just as I’m walking downstairs, my husband gets home, sees the kitchen that’s still a mess from dinner, and his very first comment to me after not seeing each other all day was “wow looks like a tornado came through here”.

I took his comment very poorly as an attack or criticism like “why isn’t the kitchen clean”. He claims he just meant it as a joke, I told him it’s a very bad joke and not at all funny. He then tells me I’m being overly sensitive and ruining the evening, which makes me even angrier that he can’t just drop it and say something like “sorry for the bad joke let’s start over”. We end up going to bed upset at each other.

I admit under different circumstances his comment would be seen as a joke and not a criticism, and I believe him that he didn’t MEAN to come across as criticizing but that’s how his joke landed.

AITA for receiving his joke poorly and “ruining” the evening? Should I have laughed it off instead and not taken his joke as criticism?

My husband (M28) told me (F25) that he doesn’t like the fact that I’m taking leftovers to work to give to my colleague…

Here’s a bit of context… My colleague is M32, never lived alone, lived with his mum his whole life and she did basically everything for him. She passed away a few months ago leaving him completely alone as he has no other family.

He’s a decent guy and I feel really sorry for him as his mums death was unexpected and he’s had to learn everything, how to use a washing machine, how to pay all his bills etc and he’s been coming to work saying he either hasn’t eaten dinner or he’s had a microwave meal because he doesn’t know how to cook for himself.

I felt sorry for him and I always cook big meals anyway that sometimes I take for lunch myself the next day or my husband does. If i’m doing a slow cooker meal I always accidentally cook more than my husband, kids and I will eat though so oftentimes some food gets wasted.

Anyway, if there’s some leftovers that would just end up going in the bin after sitting in the fridge for too long, I put some in a tub and take it to work and offer it to my colleague. He accepts and is grateful as he always texts me to say thank you for the meals. I didn’t think anything of it until yesterday when my husband asked why there was 3 tubs of dinner in the fridge. I told him and explained and he just said he thinks it’s odd that a man who is 30 can’t cook for himself and he needs to learn. and while i agree he does need to learn as it’s an important life skill, i also think if i can take some pressure off of him while he’s dealing with a lot on his plate then im happy to help him where i can. I probably take him meals twice a week and sometimes I specifically make leftovers so I can take some for him.

husband still wasn’t happy and said it was disrespectful and “would you like it if i started eating food from a female co worker” but i think it’s completely different because he has a wife who actually cooks for him whereas my colleague is pretty much alone at the moment while grieving.

Would your husband mind if you did something similar? Or is it time i told my colleague that im not going to do it anymore and he has to learn himself? AITA?

Hi everyone,

So, the following happened:

I (W15) went on a class trip and this girl (W17) was being really nice to me. She's on my school, but we're not in the same class and we never actually talked, so I didn't really know her.

Anyway, she started doing small talk and was being nice to me and everything and she was so friendly, so I engaged in the conversation and agreed when she suggested to take a room together with an other girl.

During the following days, she continued being super nice and I was being nice in return, we started to befriend each other, I even stayed in the hotel with her one day when she injured her foot and couldn't come on the trip.

Well, eventually, I realized that she was quite conservative, she said stuff like "Well, I think only women should take care of the kids". Okay, fine. Stay in the kitchen if that's what you want. No problem.

Then, she told some other guy, quote, "You're a man, you're supposed to have muscle." In my humble opinion, that was pretty damn sexist, I argued a little, but didn't make a big deal out of it.

We were still nice to each other, until yesterday, when, somehow, we came onto the topic of homosexuality. And she said, quote, "Gay guys are abnormal." Girl.

So, I started discussing with her, and literally her only argument was "The bible says it's wrong."

It was me who escalated the discussion into an argument, until another dude insisted on changing the topic. I didn't speak to her ever since and neither did she.

Am I the asshole because I smothered what could have become a friendship based on simply different opinions? Also, I was the first one to become rude.

While it felt like the right thing in the moment, now I feel kind of bad. Reddit, help, should I have just dropped the topic? Bit scared of your judgement, but here we go.

Me (40m) and my wife (41f) just got out of an argument. It’s the same argument that keeps popping up. She will do something when I’m not around and when she tells me how badly it turned out, I will tell her what to do to make sure that doesn’t happen. She just made Salmon for her son while I’m away on a business trip. She said the Salmon kept sticking to the pan and was shredded when done. I’m full of random information and like to tell people about things I understand. I tried to explain why the Salmon stuck and how to prevent it but she stopped me and said, “You’re correcting me again”. She said she doesn’t want me to keep making her feel bad when she doesn’t do something the way I think it should be done. The food was cooked, they ate, no big deal. I always forget she doesn’t like me doing that because it’s my nature to give random facts so it’s difficult to stop. I got frustrated, feeling like a piece that makes me who I am is bothersome. I told her maybe she’s the one who needs to change and have a more positive outlook. Stop feeling like I’m correcting or judging her and think of it as me just giving her new information. She said it wasn’t requested and all she wanted to do was tell me about her day. She is very upset with me. Am I the a-hole??

I (23F) received a call earlier this week from what I found out to be a scammer, but didn’t realize for about 15 minutes. They claimed to be the local sheriffs office, and told me that I had been summoned for jury duty months ago, and because I did not attend, I had to pay a fine. I was told, after a lengthy discussion, that they wanted me to PayPal or Apple Pay $2500 to resolve the issue. Immediately, I recognized this as a scam and hung up. I then called the real sheriffs office, and they confirmed the scam and said that they’d been receiving calls about it all week. I was pretty shaken up by this, but decided to move on after only telling my mom because to be honest, it scared me a lot how gullible I was that I almost believed it.

Here’s where it gets bad. Today, two days after my scam call, I just found out that one of my friends (23F) from high school has fallen for the same scammers, and has sent them $20,000 in bitcoin. They called her from the same phone number that I was called from, told her the same story about jury duty and paying a fine, and somehow convinced her to go to an ATM and wire them 20 grand in bitcoin.

Am I the asshole for not telling everyone that I knew about this scam as soon as it happened, and that they should not fall for it? Or is my friend an idiot… I am a college educated, smart and perceptive person, and I truly fell for these people. They were very convincing. Part of me feels responsible for not bringing it up to my friends, but did she bring this upon herself?

My wife (F26) and I (M29) have a daughter who just turned 1 year old yesterday. We are planning to go to dinner tomorrow and we invited her parents, my in laws, and our daughter’s grandparents. My wife just dropped on me about an hour ago without consulting me first that she thought we would pay for us and her parents at dinner. I was surprised because I thought it’s kind of our celebration for our daughter that we invited them to and because my wife and I are in a very tough financial situation right now and in debt, which her parents are well aware of. I even told my wife that if we weren’t in the financial situation we’re in, I would have absolutely no issue paying for them, even if it were at a 5 star restaurant. Also, they are my daughter’s grandparents and our daughter is currently their only grandchild and probably will be for some time. If you had a grandchild and they were your only grandchild, wouldn’t you want to take them to do something or plan an event for their 1st birthday? And if you did obviously a 1 year old can’t pay their own way. So would you send your son or daughter or your son in law or sister in law, the child’s parents, the bill for taking them out to celebrate or planning the event? If my daughter blesses me with a grandchild someday I know for damn sure I would want to take my grandchild out to celebrate or plan a 1st birthday event for them, even if it was at my expense. I would even insist it be at my expense because I would be so overjoyed to have a grandchild.

My main opposition is the finances and I know my mother in law and no offense but when she knows she’s not paying the tab she is great at spending other people’s money and ordering the absolute most expensive meal and absolute most expensive alcoholic beverage possible. It’s happened with us before where literally everybody else can eat for $20-$30 and there is my mother in law eating for $50-$60, for example. But when she actually offers to pay the tab when I her son in law is included on the tab, she’ll tell my wife something to the effect of oh that’s a little expensive or we don’t have any money when it’s like $15-$20 in the same example above. If I’m in the wrong and am being the asshole, I don’t mind hearing and accepting it. I just feel like we are inviting my wife’s parents, my in laws, to our birthday celebration for our daughter, why can’t my wife and I pay our part and they pay their part, especially when they haven’t taken our daughter out for her birthday or planned an event for her that they already paid for. Would be interested to hear what people think and how I might be able to get my wife to at least see where I’m coming from. She wouldn’t even really listen to what I had to say and just kept cutting me off.

I (17F) have bipolar disorder, and one of the things I struggle with is committing to plans too far in advance. I can genuinely want to do something when I agree to it, but I can't always guarantee that I'll be in the right place mentally to follow through when the time comes. I'm working on managing this, but I also try to be realistic rather than promise people things I might not be able to do. My parents know this about me, and I thought they understood that it's not me being difficult or not caring about people. Sometimes I just don't know how I'll be doing weeks or months from now.

Recently, my parents told me they've booked to go overseas to spend Christmas with our family. I was excited to go until I found out that I wasn't invited because they consider me too "unpredictable" to make the trip worthwhile.

For context, I understand their reasoning. Travelling internationally costs money, involves a lot of planning, and isn't something you can necessarily cancel at the last minute without consequences. I wouldn't want them to spend hundreds or thousands of pounds on a trip only for me to be unable to go. I can see why they might be worried about that.

However, what hurts is that they've apparently decided I can't go at all, rather than discussing it with me and letting me have a say. I'm 17, and Christmas is one of the few times of year when I really want to be with my parents and family. The idea of spending it at home without them while they're all together overseas makes me feel like I'm being excluded from my own family because of something I don't have complete control over.

I asked whether they would consider either letting me come with them, perhaps with the understanding that we make a backup plan if I'm struggling, or staying home this Christmas so we can spend it together as a family.

They weren't happy with either suggestion. They think it's unreasonable to expect them to change their plans because I might be upset about being left behind, especially when they believe they're making a practical decision based on what they know about me.

I know my mental health affects other people, and I don't think having bipolar disorder means everyone has to put their lives on hold for me, but I can't help feeling that there's a difference between acknowledging that I might struggle and deciding in advance that I'm too much of a risk to include. I feel like I'm being punished for being honest about my limitations. If I pretended I could definitely go and then had to cancel, I suspect they'd be angry about that too.

I'm old enough to spend Christmas without my parents, and I know people do. But I didn't choose to be left out, and I don't think it's unreasonable to want to spend Christmas with them especially when I'm a minor. I'm not asking them to guarantee that everything will go perfectly. I'm asking them to consider whether there's a way to include me, or whether spending Christmas together at home is worth considering instead.

BACKGROUND:

Every fall one of our neighbors begin to use their fireplace (as they should, it's cozy and warm!) but it puts out opaque, white smoke FOR HOURS. It settles on our house and if we go outside it's like being right next to a smoking bonfire. It sticks to our hair, our clothes our dog... my eyes burn and my lungs hurt. What's worse, and what the problem really is, going inside isn't much better- it seeps in despite having all windows and doors shut and airpurifiers on max. Our bedroom gets it the worst and the guy has a habit of starting it back up late at night and all I can smell is smoke.

───

ATTEMPTED SOLUTION:

We have had a few neighborly conversations between last and this year (even very recently) where it came up organically- One came over for a dog date and noticed how bad it was in our yard so I mentioned how it is pretty bad (as my coughing got less and less easy to stiffle) and explained the indoors part. She was really concerned and said she'd talk to her brother because he's the one who uses their fireplace. We've seen him take wood from the forest behind us but he says he doesn't burn that wood- I don't know what else would cause that much smoke for that long other than needing a chimney cleaning... Wet wood is a highly likely culprit.

───

WIBTAH IF:

I reported them? It's illegal to have smoke with an opacity higher than 20% lasting more than 6 minutes. They'd be sent a warning and education materials and if no improvement, fined $1000 or more, depending. I don't want to do it, they're really kind and neighborly people but we've brought it to their attention already and yet it continues so I don't know what else to do. If it was occasional or lasted only when the fire is starting up, or didn't affect the inside of my home I'd be able to let it go. Even our other neighbors have noticed all the smoke but they're far enough it doesn't affect them the same. idk how much longer I can take before I snap. There are 5 more months of this and I just want to breathe. So, would I be the asshole?

Throwaway account. My boyfriend of almost 3 years and I are looking for a place together. He has 2 huge dogs and due to that, our options are limited (yard needed).

He recently accepted a position that will require him to travel 6 months out of the year (not consecutively). Currently, he has to travel for a few weeks to a month or so out of the year and boards the dogs when he travels. When we move in together, it’s on me to watch them and care for them when he’s gone. He understands this is a huge ask, but I don’t think he understands HOW huge. I also work full time, and I don’t have dogs for this reason. They’re huge, require a lot, are high energy (especially one of them), and just thinking about it stresses me out. They’re his responsibility - not mine.

Anyway, I was thinking about charging him half the rate of what it costs to board them since this will be a huge undertaking, but I don’t know if that’s crazy. It feels like a lot of extra work to take care of 2 animals that aren’t my responsibility for 6 months out of the year. If it was a couple weeks or a month I wouldn’t mind. But 6 months out of the year every year… indefinitely? It seems like a lot. WIBTA?

I’m 16F, and will be calling my step-dad Rob, for privacy reasons. This situation began about a year ago, when I opened up to Rob about a breakup I was going through, expecting him to empathize, and not tell anyone about my situation, as I was vulnerable. He proceeded to tell my mother— which then told my brother, and cousin— which made me feel worse/ignored because my mother is an emotionally unavailable person.

There have been other instances, one where Rob fixed our ventilation system in the attic, but had left fiberglass throughout our hallway(where all of the bedrooms link to), and didn’t clean it because he would have “been late” to an event with his coworkers. Simultaneously, we have two cats in our household— and the fiberglass had been left for 1-2 hours. In another instance, Rob has yelled at my cat multiple times, and trapped him in his bedroom because my cat is highly active, and meows when he wants to play. There are other, minor things that he has done that I won’t be getting into unless asked.

Now, recently I had a conversation with him, mainly talking about; why I’ve acted the way I have, and the issues I have with him. He again told my mother— which she then talked to me and said, “You have to respect him, we do all these things for you” etc. And writing this, it’s hard for me to defend my parents. During the conversation with her, I felt overwhelmed, and wound up having a mental breakdown. My mother watched me hyperventilate, sob, and CONTINUED talking about needing to respect my step-father. The cherry on top being; my parents ignore my needs, to the point I have to ask them for something many times.

In return, I do slam drawers, doors, etc. when I get emotional. This is triggered by listening to my parents argue, and seeing the mess my step-father leaves behind after cooking. Another trigger being most handles in the kitchen, because they either feel filthy, greasy, or ARE filthy with food/debris. The counters are rarely or never clean, and Rob is the cook of the house.

From my POV, respect is earned. Do the actions of my step-dad validate mine, or am I just being an a-hole?

My (22m) girlfriend (23f) had been feeling a bit sick last weekend. She came over last Friday, spent the night, I made us dinner and took care of her and all that. The next day, I actually did have plans to hang out with some friends, and I don't really feel comfortable leaving my girlfriend at my place when I'm not there so I was kind of nudging her to see herself out.

She asked why she had to leave since it'd just be her and my sister (parents are away and will be for some time, my sister lives two floors up), and I told her that I just didn't think she'd want to be here if I wasn't home, even if she was just resting or whatever. I told her i could drive her home, and after that her demeanor really changed when i suggested she head out. She ended up driving herself home. She got home fine. and when I texted her after the hangout with my friends, she was being very short with her responses. One of the friends i was with, she said I was kind of a dick for just leaving her to dilly dally. But, I'm 22 and my life can't just stop because of someone I've been dating for like 6 months.

I ended up calling my gf, and when I asked her what was wrong she called me a d**k for making her leave and making her hang out by herself when she wasn't feeling well and hung up. AITA?

Can’t post pictures here so here’s the actual text message thread from our messages

Context: I fell asleep on my brother couch 2 weeks ago and wake up to a phone call from my friend asking to bring her home from the bar (I declined bc it was 1am). Tonight me and her are ubering home bc we are too drunk to drive and this is the conversation we had in the uber (she told me to be more quiet)

Friend: I'm shushing you becayse of my uber rating
They rate lower when ur loud and drunk

Me: OH-

Friend: Yea...
So maybe just listen to me
Bc when do I ever shush you (said as a joke)

Me: Mind you as a teen I've biked to ur apartment???? (Said as a joke)

Friend: I begged you for a ride when I was drunk on the side of the road and you said you didn't feel bad be because I could afford an uber
Even tho im jobless
You would not

Me: Pulling the jobless card

Friend: I literally blew up ur phone bc l needed a ride and u said u didn't even feel bad
The NEXT day
Even tho u answered every text

Me: never did
I didn't say that
I said I can't pick you up but not that I felt bad respectfully

Friend: You literally sent me a voice memo saying you didn't feel bad because you knew I could buy an uber respectfully

Me:
It was late and I KNOW I did not send a voice memo. I wouldn't of
Also I send voice memos to certain people bc I know they will listen to them and ur not one of them.
we never send voice messages to each other so I'm pretty positive I would of never sent a voice message

Idk am I mad for nothing? I’m pretty frustrated rn but it’s not my responsibility to pick her up from the bar at 1am especially if I wasn’t asked earlier in the night. If she asked me EARLIER in the night I would have said yes but I wasn’t asked until 1am…..

I am 18 pansexual female, my sister(14) and my mother are straight Christian people. They hate anything I say that can be taken as any type of "homosexual lingo" (my mother's words), and are openly homophobic to me and anyone else who is gay.

So tonight we are all sitting in my room watching the movie Pitch Perfect, I love this movie I love the characters, the actors, and I love the chemistry between the girls. Now i do ship Chloe and Becca and idk maybe it's just obvious to me but they are all really gay, from Chloe seeing Becca naked, to all the dances in the finale, and even having a lesbian character.

Well we're getting to the end and I look in the background as they are doing the finale and notice Fat Amy and Aubrey's dance and I point it out, my mom and sister laugh and I go to say "you know what, they have the most chemistry out of like everyone" (ik I should have kept my mouth shut)

But I can't even get the words out before my sister stands up and tells me to SHUT UP and that I don't need to ruin this movie for her by making it gay. My mother just stares at me while my sister starts going on about how not everything is gay, this movie isn't gay, and that I'm very selfish for making it seem that way.

She finally stopped yelling, and it got to the part where Becca and Jessie kissed, and she started cheering saying "see, straight people are way better, its not disgusting when they kiss"

The movie ends I take the disc out of the DVD player and put it back on my shelf my sister takes it and says she's taking it to her room so I don't "make it gay" and that she hates me. So AITAH?

I (17, F) come from a conservative Christian family. My mom is overprotective, and I’ve never been allowed to go to friends’ houses or have them over at mine. I’m rarely allowed to leave the house except to go to school or church (which I’m forced to attend). Things got even worse after my parents found out about my sexuality and that I don’t believe in God (which almost got me kicked out of the house).

Despite all this, my parents have always provided me with a comfortable life - and I’m genuinely grateful for that.

But, at the same time, I want to actually enjoy my life and have some freedom. So I told my mom that once I turn 18, I plan to go out whenever I want and wherever I want. She completely lost it, called me “ungrateful,” and insisted that as long as I live under her roof, I have to follow her rules.

I don’t drink or smoke, and I have no interest in either. I’ve never dated anyone, I got into a good university for the program I wanted, and I’ve never caused my parents any major trouble. (In the country where I live, it’s not common for students to live in dorms, so moving out for college isn’t really an option.)

So, AITA for wanting a little independence?

This might seem immature to ask, but I just wanna know because I (M 26) truly cant wrap my head around the fact that my wife (F 25) claims me asking her to watch and catch a couple games on Sundays with some friends, since its literally the only sport i'm into watching, is inconsiderate to her time and one of her days off work that she'd wanna spend it with me. Its not every Sunday btw, i'd say like every other week, or maybe even once every 3 weeks. Is she entitled to that time of mine and where i decide to spend it? If so i'm totally not against just giving her what she wants IF that's whats morally correct. I love my wife please nobody bad mouth her nor I and be kind, thanks.

ok so I (31 F) and my husband (34 M) had spent weeks working on the perfect baby shower and gender reveal party for our future baby girl and when it was finally set up it was beautiful with blue and pink decorations everywhere, the music was amazing and when i tell you the baby was basically running a WWE match in my belly, until my sister (27 F) started eyeing my cake, i thought nothing of it, because i was having a blast when she suddenly 'tripped' in to the cake and ruined it, i was mad obviusly but i let it go until she started screaming at me that I was the one who tripped her, now i was across the yard, and after a small yelling match i screamed at her to "GO RUIN SOMEONE ELSES BIG DAY YOU JEALOUS BEACH" and she ran away crying, so now i feel bad, my family is picking sides and i need to know, AITA?

I spent a few years being the punching bag and butt of the group(s). So I left and went on a solo arc and basically discovered the philosopher's stone and gained my own independence. I'm a lot more experienced than my old friends and have more knowledge now and to be honest I came back to clear some things up and get passed transgressions out of my mind. But now it appears I am still somewhat wanted there, but I cannot for the life of me bring myself to care about most things because I was essentially left for dead and had to survive being brought within an inch of my life. Many of them kicked me while I was down because they didn't understand what I was going through / what the whole picture was. Now, I have come to terms with the fact that nobody *really* cares about you, but at the same time I find it so hard to bring myself to remember birthdays or really care about anything at all.

Today, I (27F) met up with a close friend (28F) for dinner. We hadn't seen each other in a few weeks, and I thought we were going to have a relaxed evening.

During dinner, she told me she'd recently gotten a butterfly haircut and asked if I wanted to see the video her hairdresser had posted of her. I said yes and watched it.

As I was watching the hairdresser style her hair, I noticed that in the final shot, my friend looked really sad and unhappy. I pointed it out and said that she looked as though she hadn't liked the result. She replied that she might have just been exhausted that day. I agreed and said that she did look unhappy in the video. (Just said it again because she asked "Really tho??" Why else would I?

Suddenly, she got really upset and asked what my problem was and why I kept emphasizing how miserable she looked. I was completely caught off guard because I genuinely didn't think I'd said anything particularly offensive.

She told me that this was my immediate reaction to a video she was excited to show me, and that I should have complimented her hair first instead of commenting on her facial expression.

I explained that it was simply what I had noticed first and that I hadn't said anything negative about her hair. I even acknowledged that her hair looked really nice. She responded that she already knew her hair looked good and that my reaction had hurt her feelings.

I asked her why she was being so snippy about it, and she said that my comment had genuinely upset her.

At that point, I was so shocked and frustrated by the whole interaction that I got up, paid my bill, and left.

Now I'm wondering whether I was being tactless by pointing out her expression instead of complimenting her hair first, or whether her reaction was disproportionate.

AITA?

Ok so let me start by saying this isn’t really about water per se. So here’s the story. Me and my wife was on the phone while I was in a truck stop getting my morning drink (Diet Coke) and she asked me to grab her a jug (gallon) of water). I said sure when I get off. I guess she was confused as to why I wouldn’t just get it now. Now in my mind I already knew 1: I would forget it. 2: I don’t want to carry that all around the warehouse once I get off my route. 3: it’s just easier to grab it from a store on the way home as I pass several dollar whatever stores. So on the phone she chews me a new about her not being worth the effort of carrying the jug of water 50 feet to my car after my shift. To me this question had nothing to do with her worth. Regardless of whatever I love her and she knows this. This was to me a question of logistics and I guess comfort. I am known to take the path of less resistance. But now she’s mad at me about the “tone” I used when I refused to get the water right then and there. To me I was speaking normal but she says I have this tone that apparently comes out. Idk Reddit let me know aitah? I’ll let her see this and make edits once I get off if allowed

We are on a road trip on vacation in a new country. It's a hectic trip, we are in a new place every 24-48 hours and doing touristic activities during the day.

One day we are at a pub which we have decided to leave from at 9pm. We instead leave at 10pm. We had a good time but he was feeling the vibes and didn't want to go home (he typically likes to be the last man standing on most nights). However, I am tired and I want to sleep and be ready for the next day when we are going to a new place and going for a long kayaking trip. We are on the tram on the way home and I am so tired I think I'll fall asleep on the seat so he sits and I say I'll stand there and I stand a few feet away leaning against the pole and scrolling reels to stay awake. Our stop arrives and I look at him and he is shocked. We get off and I ask what happened and he says: ' I can't believe you. You don't want to sit with me and you are cold and you show no affection. 20 minutes and you didn't look up."

I am puzzled esp cause it was a 10 minute ride and he kept saying 20 minutes. He takes a different route to the hotel form the tram station and I walk there alone. On reaching the room, I tell him I don't understand and he is livid. I tell him that he is being so unreasonable, that he should ask his parents or his best friend about this situation and they will too, find his reaction random. This triggers him and he loses it and says nasty things including "why did my fucking parents come in the conversation, you have no eq, no friends, you do nothing for me, I left the bar for you." This was so bizarre I didn't have anything to say. Next day I wake up and we are not talking and he is grumpy. 1 month has passed and he has not acknowledged or apologized.

What am I missing? AITA?

So what started this was my family and parent friends went out to celebrate a recent birthday for my parents. Its a new place we never been but my mom coworker hyped it up. Well I was planning on paying for myself and my mother. Meal is over and bill comes, and the server tells us we cant split it based on what we ordered individually. The place was expensive and quality food wasn't great imo. I personally didnt want to go to this place, based on the prices and pictures I seen on Google when my family first mentioned it.

But to spring something like that up at the end seem wrong. That should be lead with up front by the restaurant , Otherwise I would have stood strong and told my family no to this place.

So on top of this, for me personally, I had plans to pay off my Credit card by next week, from working over 60 hours plus this week to take care of that debt, so I can start saving money, since my job isnt as secure job like my family have. I been excited for this.

But anyway I was the person that had to pay and others couldn't get their zelle to work, and had to use the bit of money in my account to cover the bill since I refuse to drop another 1000 dollars on my credit card. My wife made a a remark that I felt was rude, in regards to me not wanting to use my credit card that I planned on paying off next week. We had a heated exchange in the ride home over that part. I understand its ok to be mad about a pop up situation like this, but not ok to drop a rude remark to somebody trying to cope in the moment on something they didnt plan.

edit: I forgot to mention that I been telling my wife my plans for paying off my Credit card all week. so I been pretty excited about it, but she been dismissive about it and rather I not do that since she only pay the minimum on her cards. but she has a far more stable career than I do, so maybe having debt like that dont bother her as much as it does me. so the rude remark in the moment kind of triggered me and i was just explaining how i felt that was rude. she stormed out the car once i got tomy parents house to get her vehicle to drive back home, since she rode with me to the restaurant. just added proper context.

Cant help but feel like this all would have been avoided , Had we went to outback steakhouse or something. Could have had better food and cheaper price and still split the bill based on what we ordered individually.

IMy family has been asking me for money for months, and I’ve always tried to help when I can. Recently, I found out that some of the money I gave them went toward unnecessary purchases while they continued telling me they couldn’t afford their bills.

I decided I wasn’t going to lend them any more money until they got their finances under control. Now they’re saying I’m selfish and that family should help family regardless of the circumstances.

I understand that everyone makes mistakes with money, but I don’t think I should have to sacrifice my own financial stability because someone else refuses to manage theirs.

Would I be the asshole for standing my ground, or is family supposed to come before everything else?

He treats my brother (30M) like he’s incapable of handling life, while expecting me (32F) to be strong and manage everything myself. He is always there to fix my brother’s problems, but verbally abuses me. I know he is saying to me what he really wants to say to my brother, but won’t?

I’ve told him about the unfairness, favoritism and double standards. He shuts it all down or invalidates it. My brother is capable but he doesn’t let my brother fail or prove it, and my brother knows this.

I don’t ask for help but I should be able to feel like I could if I had to. I’m not invincible. He shames me whenever I show any sign of vulnerability. I have an autoimmune disease and when I first got diagnosed, it was a struggle. I mentioned this and he said that other people have it worse. I’m just supposed to shut up and always be the happy, reliable daughter. I didn’t speak to him for 2 years and he randomly offered to pay my rent for two months. In his mind, he has now paid his debts. I never asked him to, I just told him what he was doing was wrong. Im just sick of the way he approaches me and my sibling.

The most recent kicker is, my brother has been non-renewed due to lease violations at his previous apartment. So, my dad decided to put him in a nicer one in my town. The town I live in is a more expensive, coastal area that you have to work hard to live in and he just handed it to him? I don’t get the logic based off the fact that my brother can’t afford it and doesn’t “deserve” it. Per my dad’s own teachings that we need to deserve and earn the things we have. I feel really insulted by this and they hid it from me.

I’ve gone low, almost no contact. AITA for feeling justified in this sibling double standard and cutting him off? I know that I’m an adult but I can’t stand the unequal expectations and obvious unfairness and treatment.