I commented on this post on r/adoption got ripped apart by adopters and a few fellow adoptees.

https://www.reddit.com/r/Adoption/s/tChTKZXwtV

I don't think I'll get many responses. But I was wondering if anyone else here was adopted by a same-sex couple, and how that affected your gender experience growing up?

I was adopted by a male same-sex couple, as a girl. Growing up, I was pushed into the typical gender role, mainly by one of my dads. He very much liked the image of me being a cute girly-girl, and pushed it onto me. My personal hobbies and interests were ignored for more girl typical things for me. I wasn't allowed to play Pokemon because it was a "boys" game. They bought me pink stuff even though I hated the color. I was forced to shave my legs and some other body hair once I entered puberty. I still feel they look down on me for being a girl, I've always been given different expectations and responsibilities than my two brothers.

I idolized the idea of a mother growing up, thinking that a mom would be different, but maybe not. I've never felt like I fit in anywhere, and I've always felt different from other people. Just wondering how others’ experiences have been.

I was adopted as a toddler by two narcissistic abusers who tormented me emotionally and physically for thirteen years before dumping me back with biological relatives illegally (who ended up not even being my biological relatives as it turns out). When they adopted me my birth mother’s name was taken off my birth certificate and replaced by theirs and my name was formally changed.

I later in life had two legal guardians who I call mom and dad now, and had my last name changed to theirs but they never formally adopted me so my name is changed but my abusers are still my listed parents on my birth certificate.

I’m in my thirties now and married with a new last name, but I have thought a lot about wanting this last piece of my abuse gone. I’ve asked my mom and dad to do adult adoption but it’s just never happened and I think I’ve asked enough, I don’t want to beg for it.

As I’ve gotten to know myself and my genetic history more (recently in reunion with my genetic father), I think I just want my original birth certificate back.

Is that even possible? I was born in Arizona, if helpful.

I left my adopted but related to family 15 years ago and the other night I got a message through a dna app. I left my family for common sense reasons like the values I hold within myself but they have no depth about them. A cousin reached out to me who is my age and she validated my whole stance on why I choose to live a life away from them. She stated that they were not there for me and that it was not safe for me to be around them. I feel like I no longer need to dwell on it, knowing someone from my family gets me.

Has anyone gone through anything similar?