Looking for help before we go back to the pediatrician Monday. Our son (8) has ADHD and we’ve always very much suspected autism, at 5 the psychologist said he’s far too social (he is extremely social, doesn’t know a stranger) but was high IQ. Said his brain is years ahead of his body age, but socially/emotionally years behind, which is accurate. He was removed from preschool, home schooled for kindergarten and attended the same hybrid school with his siblings in 1st and 2nd… until now.

They are amazing, but it’s always the same. Schools/babysitters/sunday schools can’t manage his behaviors and the class. He’s extremely emotionally impulsive, his volume is very very high even at speaking level, he is highly sensitive, and extremely high energy. He requires so much one on one, and he is also so advanced past his grade level in several subjects he is bored and they can’t provide enough stimulation for him.

We found the most amazing school of 25 kids whom 85% have autism and most have adhd, most are also boys. They have ABA incorporated in their days and focus heavily on hands on learning, lots of 3d printing, movement, and Fridays are for executive functioning skills, afterschool clubs and they even raise chickens to teach responsibility. They also teach every subject at whatever grade level needed, so he can be moved up in a few and stay back in others and it be personalized. It’s also extremely expensive without scholarships that you get with an autism diagnosis. They loved having him, he’s the youngest but said he fit right in and academically is on par, but said his high energy levels and sensitivity require a full time one on one person unless we get ABA involved to help.

LONG STORY SHORT:
- we go Monday and his ped always also felt strongly about autism and she is on board with formally diagnosing him
- his meds basically have zero net benefit since mid august and we don’t know what to do or why they all just stopped working. He does best with Ritalin and has been on ER for a long time, we also added Prozac and upped the dose once and we don’t see that benefit either. We never really saw one with Prozac, but we’ve always seen something with Ritalin. He takes clonodine at night for sleep, he used to take guanfacine but that did little as well.

What do you do if meds just stop working? Has this happened to you?

If you have a kiddo who has AuADHD, what has worked best for you?

Feeling lost for him and hopeful all at the same time. But he needs meds to help and we just need so badly for school to work for him. The anxiety as a parent of a kid who has been removed multiple times is hard on the heart.

My child is doing their GCSE’s this year. Long story short - they’re barely studying because they’re so distracted with their phone and online stuff, and I’m worried they won’t get the marks needed to get into the colleges they’ve applied to. At the moment they’re getting 3’s and 4’s but I know they’re more than capable of getting 6’s, 7’s and 8’s.

I’m thinking about getting a Brick device for their phone so we can block the apps. Before they can use the apps they have to hold their phone to the device which we would have. Apple screen time and all other routes we’ve tried are not working. My child manages to get past anything we’ve tried previously.

The phone is only one of the issues, but I’m hoping a Brick device could be a start.

Has anyone tried one on their child’s phone before? I’d love to hear some feedback or other potential solutions. Just ‘taking their phone away’ isn’t always an option btw.

What are the easiest, most ADHD friendly musical instruments for my elementary aged child to learn? I was thinking drums so they won't need to learn how to read sheet music or a woodwind for deep breathing?

Saw it on Instagram and then a mom at pickup mentioned it, so now I'm curious. It's supposed to be CBT based lessons for parents of kids 5-12, covering emotions, organization, social stuff. My son is 10 with ADHD and our main problem is blowups right after school.

Is it really useful or is it the same advice you can find for free? Would love to hear from someone who's used it longer than a week. Thanks!

Good morning! ❤️ I’m looking to connect with other parents who have children with ADHD. I would love to hear your experiences, advice, and tips on how to manage ADHD and better understand and support our children.

Child is just about 5 years old and in second year of kindergarten. His teacher asked us today if everything is ok at home because he has not been as happy or smiley this year as last year and that he completely shuts down when she tries to talk to him about it. Said he has moments where he comes out of his shell and that he plays with friends but it’s a noticeable difference from last year. He is not hyperactive at school and prior to this we didn’t really have any negative feedback from school. Can anyone relate?

Anyone out here with an adult kid who is struggling to launch? Or it is all parents with preschool and elementary age kids? Any parents here with ADHD maybe?

Son is 24. Graduated in May with a now pointless degree in UX Design. Something AI now does. Moved back home. Horribly depressed. Struggling with the basics.

We got him hooked up with an internship. He forgot to set up phone/text alerts for slack meetings and now has missed two. He freaking out. How can he be a functioning adult?!?! They are gong to drop him. Then what.

You can make a 4 year old do stuff. Not a 24 year old. You can talk to a school, not a boss.

He forgets his meds. He forgets his dentist appt. He forgets his laundry in the washing machine. He forgets to eat. He forgets everything. I don't have ADHD and am very type A and this is killing me.

Feeling pretty down and helpless because as a parent it's not my life it is his. And watching him struggle to do what comes easily for others is so difficult to watch

I’m just looking for other people who might ‘get it’.
My daughter is 2 years and 7 months old. I’m not expecting a diagnosis at her age, and I’m absolutely fine with that. However, her dad and I both have ADHD, and honestly, we recognise so many of those traits in her already.

She’s been different from birth. I’ve always struggled to relate to other parents at baby groups and the like, because everything with her is just so intense. She doesn’t respond to the usual parenting strategies, and I feel like every time I try to discuss our experiences with other parents, I either get blank looks or an “Oh yeah, my kid is wild too!”, as their much more placid child climbs into the pram and asks to go to sleep.

She started nursery in March, and they’ve already approached us with concerns and started the SEN process. They’ve said they’ve been “taken aback” by her and by how differently she responds to their usual strategies compared with other children. They’ve described her developmental profile as extremely “spiky”, said that her lack of impulse control is striking even for her age, and want to carry out further assessments.

We recently had another baby, who’s now 4 months old, and the experience of parenting him is wildly different. You can almost feel how different his entire nervous system is. It’s made me realise just how much we’ve been parenting on “hard mode” all this time.

My daughter is wonderful. I absolutely adore her, she has so many fantastic qualities, and she’s incredibly clever. But I feel so lonely. I feel like I have nobody to talk to about my worries for her future, how the world will receive her, and what effect all of this might have on her as she grows up.

My mum died eight years ago, and we don’t have a “village”. It’s really just our little family unit, and sometimes it feels like nobody else truly knows her or understands what life is like for us.

Recently, we met up with a friend of my husband’s and their 6-year-old, who’s just been diagnosed with AuDHD. I felt more relaxed during that playdate than I think I ever have on one before. It was like the children were in sync, and so were we as parents. We were anticipating the same sorts of difficulties, understanding each other’s children’s behaviour, and nobody needed anything explaining. It was such a lovely feeling.

I think that experience has made me realise how much I’m missing that sense of understanding and connection.
I’d absolutely love to meet more families with neurodivergent young children, but I have no idea how to go about it when my daughter doesn’t have a diagnosis and probably won’t for years (if ever).

Has anyone else been in this position? How did you find other families who understood? I think I just want to feel a little less alone in all of this.

This is such a dumb question - my 9yo is good at swallowing meds, but we just got prescribed lamictal chewable pills. Do they HAVE to be chewed, or it's just that they CAN be chewed? Stomach acid and intestinal fluid do their thing either way, right? Right?

Our child has an IEP for his ADHD. His music teacher who he has once every six days reached out to us and said his ADHD is affecting other. They are preparing for a spring concert and it requires a lot of focus and he is distracting other children, but she also said more importantly when she tries to redirect him, he doesn’t take her seriously or when she confronted him about something he was doing he denies it. She’s asking us for advice on how to help him, if there’s something to motivate him. I feel like a lot of the things that we have suggested to the main teachers don’t work, like positive reinforcement and rewards. Any advice?

I’m looking for a sensory chew for a young child. They currently have a fleece blanket and like to chew ice packs, instead of actually using them.

I tried to get her to use the chews in the second picture but she didn’t like any of them.

My youngest is 10m (we'll call him LM). His dad just texted me from baseball practice. He overheard teammates in the dugout say "I wish there was a mute button for LM."

💔💔💔

We've tried all the medications. They all work but they also all give him him terrible stomach pains. We finally found one that doesn't hurt his stomach. Jornay PM. It works really well but it's not perfect. His first dose wore off around 4:00 p.m. We've increased his dose so it's supposed to last longer. It seems like it does most days but not all days. Today is not one of those days. He was obnoxious and combative all evening after school.

My husband asked if he should tell our son what he overheard. I said no, at least not yet, because we don't want him to become self-conscious and insecure. I suggested that we let the coach know. But the coach isn't a professional or trained or anything. He's just a volunteer dad. He can maybe give the team some kind of talk about teamwork and sportsmanship, but it's not going to change the fact that this kid we love so much really annoys the crap out of other kids.

And I know we've all been there. I remember being that kid when I was in school. Nobody liked me and I couldn't understand why. It wasn't until I was an adult. Look back at my behavior and realized I was kind of obnoxious and weird. I didn't get social cues. And I don't know what would have helped me back then. What do we do? How can we help him?

Hi all. New here. My daughter just turned 17. Diagnosed a year ago with ADHD. Unmedicated but does see a psychologist to help her with her anxiety. We have been struggling with her for sometime. She has lots of friends, likes school, is very social. That’s all good. Gets great grades, is in honors/AP courses.

But she’s awful a home. She hasn’t eaten a meal with us at home in probably a year because she claims she can’t stand the sound of us chewing. She doesn’t have chores, she speaks super rudely to us, including swearing at us, yelling at us, and expecting us to be at her beck and call constantly. In the same breath, will ask me to do something for her and then tell me to more or less F off.

I’m just exhausted. EXHAUSTED. I’m sure part of this is our parenting style. I realized tonight I will never go into management because I cannot set boundaries for others. I’m the caregiver. I show my love through acts of service and love. We don’t ground. Mentioned previously, no chores. No accountability. I have ADHD myself (mostly hyperactivity) so I go around and clean, do laundry, etc all day inbetween meetings. “Easier to do it myself” is my mentality. But I’m exhausted.

If I put boundaries on her, for example, come home earlier than curfew on a school night, she claims we are the only parents who are like this. The issue is that the bar is pretty low because a lot of her friends don’t come from very stable families. She is being raised in a home by two loving parents who are married, and then she has a younger brother.

Tonight, she screamed at us about all the things she needed to do before heading out today on an overnight school trip. She proceeded to go to the gym. Fine. Blow off steam. 3 hours later I text her that she needs to come home. I knew she was there with her boyfriend (she claimed she wasn’t). En route home from running an errand, my husband drove by gym. She was in the parking lot with her boyfriend. So she lied to me. And that hurts. And I’m pissed and told her she’s way co-dependent on her boyfriend, it’s unhealthy, and goes against her “battle cry” that men are all misogynists.

I am definitely venting at this point. I hate to say it, but I actually look forward to her going off to college and getting out on her own. She really raises the stress level in our home whenever she’s here and makes things pretty unpleasant.

Rant over.

Like: oh sorry he threw a pencil and ran out of the room? I don't know what to say. I tell the teachers I appreciate the communication and offer to brainstorm.

Then the teachers say they will send home the packet my child (10M) refused to do. I'm like....how you think I'm going to be successful if you couldn't get him to do it either?

I guess I'm looking for advice: I feel really helpless on these calls. I think the school is right to inform me....so I just say "thanks for the call."? I certainly care to hold him accountable, but we have learned that traditional "punishments" make his school participation worse, not better.

EDIT: He is medicated and just a couple months into his first IEP. I'm still learning how IEPs work.

My 9 year old son told me that his 4th grade teacher got mad at him yesterday for not finishing a worksheet. He has struggled with focusing on work and working more efficiently. I’ve talked about it with her in parent teacher conference, and we’re working on it.

In response to this, she told him he had to go out into the hallway to finish it so he wouldn’t distract other kids who had finished. He got emotional at some point because he said she was yelling, which he said she does often, and he claims that she then called him a crybaby. He also said that she said something along the lines of “stop going home and crying to your mommy and telling her lies about me” and “you can cry all you want but that’s not going to change anything”. She also said something about it being his fault because he didn’t finish the work. It’s hard to say if a lot of of this is accurate or some of it is perception of how it felt but it seems clear that she at least called him a crybaby and may have mentioned something about crying to me and telling lies. I’m just in shock over this behavior.

This is the first time I’ve had to really deal with something like this with a teacher, and I would love some advice. I want to handle this the right way and give her some of the benefit of the doubt by speaking to her first but honestly, I’m freaked out. He says he’s scared of her but this morning, he seemed okay after we talked about it last night, but I noticed he does tend to mask bad emotions with humor and he was extra silly this morning. It just breaks my heart that he feels afraid of his teacher and that she would be little him like that.

We’re considering having him checked for ADHD but this is the first time a teacher has really made a point about him not finishing work. He’s always taken more time but it didn’t seem like a major issue until this year. I’m just more concerned with her approach to this issue in possibly resorting to belittling and name calling but want to hear her side of the story.

I don’t know where to post this but I hope someone could help or suggest the right page. My son is not diagnosed with anything. Under 5yo and hyperactive. I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s ADHD because I am too but not the energetic kind.

Overall he’s a great kid and we OT for a bit which helped and I’m wondering if that’s something we need to go back to but for now I need to just know why he does this or if anyone has just been through this too. I need help figuring out how to handle the situation when he does this.

So tonight for example we have a nightly routine called “tuck tuck hug and kiss”. I say “tuck tuck tuck” over and over and I tuck him in up and down and fold his blanket over his feet. Then he gets a hug and kiss. Today he asked for tuck tuck but when I bent down he screamed and kicked no. So I said okay I love you and started to walk away because we respect a no and he screamed he wanted tuck tuck. So I went back to give him tuck tuck and he did the same screaming and kicking and yelling no. If I let him do this he will do this over and over each time the screaming getting worse.

I have two other kids so I indulged him a little more than I should have but I made him wait in between because I was helping the other two get ready for bed. So he screamed over and over that he wanted tuck tuck but I told him to wait while I brush his sisters teeth. I offer to let him stand beside me and remind him to brush his teeth and encourage it but when he’s like this I don’t make him because I can get him to brush first thing in the morning. I am really picking my battles here and adding another demand is not on the list.

It was time for bed and they decided to sleep in the living room and honestly I don’t care as long as they sleep. I gave the other two tuck tuck first and when I get to him I ask him if he wants tuck tuck or no because if he says no then I am going to bed and I will not be coming back out. He said yes. When I bent down and screamed no I walked off. He ran to my door and slammed on it so hard. My husband ended up taking over (he gets up 3am so don’t come for him about not helping sooner and I work part time so I don’t mind) and he went to bed but he kept screaming for me to give him tuck tuck. I waited it out while I typed this. I stopped to tuck him in and now I’m finishing. He was calm and let me tuck him in but now he just won’t sleep.

I offered to read a book to him during the meltdown. I offered to sing a song together because sometimes he likes that. I reassured him we had all day tomorrow together. I just don’t know what to do or why he does this. Is this ADHD? Autism? Something else? Is it just normal toddler behavior!?!?

Kid is 12 and is on a stimulant and ssri. Both seem to be working but bedtime sucks. They stay up for hours doing random things and can't just lay there and sleep. I use melatonin but it seems like it's hardly working and takes forever to kick in.

I don’t know what to do. My daughter has had a battle with her adhd her whole life. I’ve had her evaluated throughout school and it’s confirmed she has it. She always refused to use her accommodations in school that were given as a recommendations for test taking and time for tasks. She felt embarrassed always and never wanted to be pulled to a different room for testing or friends know. She also never wanted to take medication and I wasn’t going to force it. So instead throughout her home life since little we did elimination diets and we paid attention to foods, toxins, and focused on exercises and executive function skills. I sat her down and said you don’t have to be a straight A student you simply have to do your best self and be kind. I explained that she may always be the kid that needs a little more time, a little more reminders and little more help organizing herself and to know that’s ok and it’s all doable. Now she’s in her 2nd year of college and it’s very demanding. She cited that she was not going to use any type of medication in college because she wasn’t going to be the only kid in college not drinking and not having fun. She never did these things before and since starting college she vapes THC daily and drinks alcohol about 2-3 days of her own doing. She’s physically very fit and works out alot to maintain her body fat down, she also eats pretty well and healthy throughout the day. She takes vitamins and practices self care. She’s still extremely forgetful looses things all the time and forgets where basic things are like credit cards, wallet, looses her phone etc. I’ve begged and pleaded with her for years to not vape or drink as noted it has a negative effect on her that to me seems debilitating and instead see the psychiatrist for proper consultation and determine together what is the best route for her. At this time she is asking for AdHD medication citing all her college friends take it. I’ve told her that it’s not a one size fits all and she needs to be properly evaluated. Because she an adult now this is especially challenging because her brain is not fully developed on a emotional mature level. Plus the drinking in college and the way she’s blacked out a few times has caused me great concern. I want to support her but I am very afraid of her abusing it and not take the proper dosage and not quiting the other recreational substance and alcohol she engages in. How do we give a young adult autonomy and authority over themselves when as a parent you see they are not mature enough to make those decisions?

Her pediatrician which is now her adult doctor and has been her doctor since is recommending a nonstimilant considering the circumstances of recreational use of other stuff.

This is working... **fingers crossed**
EDIT: Except for flute...

We have a 4 year old that while undiagnosed at this point, we highly suspect has ADHD (strong family history, basically most of the symptoms etc). He also exhibits some anxiety symptoms in certain environments (situational mutism, separation anxiety at school drop off).

At this point, he is able to manage and mask throughout his PreK day without the severe ADHD symptoms coming out. He has trouble sitting at circle time, but he luckily saves the more severe behaviors for us at home. As his primary caregiver, he’s recently started showing a lot of anxiety about being separated from me, even when his other parent is still around. This is becoming increasingly difficult to manage, as we have another child (neurotypical) that also needs my attention and support, and I also have activities and hobbies that I would like to do on my own, for my own mental health.

Currently he is doing private speech, OT, and we are doing parent coaching/training. Due to his age, we haven’t sought out a formal diagnosis/medication yet, but will likely go down that route through the parent coaching that is put on by the children' s hospital. My partner is a little more apprehensive to start medication, but I am so tired of seeing him struggle so much.

Just looking to hear other experience and feedback from those who ended up medicating young and how it went/is currently going.  At this point, the anxiety piece is affecting us just as much as the ADHD. Tell me it gets better!