No clue how to start so I'll just get right into it. I'm a sophomore and a current COB at my university. Last year, I took an acting class with one girl who was super sweet and always lovely to talk to and sometimes I'd hang with her in smaller groups. I wouldn't say we're friends, but we're acquaintances and are still on good terms. I also know another girl who I met through a theater event at my school, again very sweet and very chill, I love talking with her. I'm definitely closer with her and would call her my friend, and again on good terms. Last year (during our freshman year), they COB-ed in the Winter and ended up joining the same sorority (I don't believe they knew each other beforehand so very cool!). Well, I talked with the friend from the theater event last year after she had freshly joined and she talked about how much she loved it and all of the girls in it. Skip to more recently, I saw their stories during work week, and I remembered all of their stories and posts with their sorority sisters, and they're both ultimately why I decided to COB this fall.

I did not initially COB with the intention to join their sorority, but the more I learn about it and the more I see pictures and the more I (lowkey stalk) look at the Instagram page for their sorority...the more I absolutely fall in love with it. I definitely have an alternative style, which admittedly made me nervous about joining COB. I'm also queer, which was another concern for me. But all of the girls are so incredibly diverse in every way which is so incredibly appealing to me because they are one of the (very) few sororities on my campus that aren't primarily skinny, white, conventionally attractive girls. The friend also said most of the girls in it are queer too.

I've already reached out to the COB chair of the sorority to try and set up a COB date, and am currently awaiting a response. Now, the question...wtf do I say to the people I know in the sorority? I literally have no clue and I don't know if it would be impolite/rude to say anything at all, or to even COB for their sorority. I know about dirty rushing and that's not at all what I'm trying to do, nor would I ever want to put my friends in that situation. But I've heard that it can be good to reach out maybe? What would I even say to them? "Hey btw I'm gonna COB for your sorority whether you like it or not?" "Hey can you please talk to everyone in it and tell them I'm the coolest person you know?" "Hey please don't kill me but would it maybe possibly be okay if I tried out the COB process even though you've been in it longer I'm so sorry I'll never bother you again?" I have literally no clue. Please help a girl out. (Yes I am also very aware there's no guarantee I'll get a bid and I could go on one date and they'll say "hey we actually never want to see you again" and that's okay! I understand it's a mutually selective process!) Posting on a throwaway bc I've made posts under my schools subreddit before.

I'm 19f and a college freshman, and I joined a sorority through COB. I haven't had a chance to attend events consistently, but I had attended one chapter meeting and a ritual thingy as new members.

The ritual thingy really threw my thoughts about being in a sorority for me. It was just weird. Not going to spill everything, but I just never thought I'd have to do some sort of a ritual like that unexpectedly.

Also, I have had two actives reach out to me to go on dates. The first girl ended up canceling on me on the day of due to being sick (which I'm suspicious about because she didn't tell me until I texted 1-2 hours before our hangout time). And for the other girl I still have to reply to let her know when I'm available but I hope it works out.

And also based on my friend who also got in through COB with me, she attended one of the sisterhood event. She came an hour late, so maybe this is why, but it felt awkward for her and everyone else was just busy talking and making slime. She tried talking to the president and the new member educator just ignored her without saying hi.

I'm just getting this feeling that the girls are just acting nice for the sake of it, and they probably don't gaf about meeting new people or making friends for real.

Hi! I’m an out of state student who moved a pretty long distance from home so I wasn’t sure about going through the rush process and chose ultimately to settle into my college instead. Now that rush has passed and a bunch of my friends and one of my roommates are all in sororities, I’m constantly bombarded by how good of a time they’re having and how much they love being in a sisterhood.
Besides the FOMO I get from them, they’re constantly talking about the next party or function. My biggest draws to joining are sisterhood and philanthropy, but I’m wondering whether I’d feel out of place if I’m not particularly interested in the party scene. I know every chapter is different, but COB registration starts soon, so I figured I’d ask for some perspectives before making a decision. Thank you for any advice! <3

My daughter is a high school senior and was thinking about rushing next year. I looked into the schools she's applying to, and because there's so many PMMs, they have video rounds and pre-scores. How does this work? For example, if she has a 3.3 gpa and captain of her high school soccer team with a basic recommendation. I'm assuming the other thousands of PMMs have similar stats. It feels very random. How do the houses know who they want or not if they haven't met the students?

I really love my sorority and a lot of the ppl in it, but its been a year since ive joined and its just not what i expected. Im a very alternative presenting person and i never felt that i was excluded for a while but now that im more involved and know people better i do feel that a lot of people really hate me a lot for it. Especially our president, who genuinely speaks and looks at me like i slaughtered her dog or something. Not an ounce of kindness or even neutrality when interact with her, just pure hatred and disgust. she is consistently publicly humiliating me in front of the whole chapter by singling me out, getting me in trouble, calling me out so so frequently when i dont even do anything wrong, like if other people are being too louf and im completely silent, its me who gets called out. And no one else ever is called out. I do feel it is racially motivated a little too. And i dont even know how to fix this or ask for help because she has all the power and would be the person holding personnel meetings. There have been multiple opportunities that i tried to involve myself in, where i showed lots of passion and determination to do well in the role, and ive never ever gotten it, even when there is no competition, even when im endorsed by multiple other sisters, and ive shown and not told how i can be a good fit for the role. Our personnel chair is also best friends with the prez and i cant imagine she would treat me seriously if i came to her about it. Its really upsetting me a lot and i wake up with a heavy heart everyday now. Its bringing me so much more grief than its ever brought me joy and i think i should drop. I want to consider waiting out this exec board but i feel like things this sem will still be bad for me. Like, im sure theyre gonna prevent me from getting the little that i want because theyve done it before, and im afraid ill also be blocked from all positions during slating. Any advice? Should i just save myself from all the grief and bullying asap and drop or see it through?

Welcome to r/Sororities Free Talk Friday! Let us know what you have going on in your life, Greek related or not. What are you celebrating or working through this week? What are you looking forward to? What do you need to vent about?

Whatever is going on in your life, thanks for being part of this community!

Hi

during the big/little process for my chapter an incident occurred where a potential little claimed i made her feel uncomfortable. we were playing a game and some of the questions were a bit iffy, but i hadn’t played it before and wasn’t aware of the questions being like that and didn’t pressure her to answer anything. she claimed she was having a lot of fun and said another potential big invited her over and she didn’t want to go because she was having so much fun with me. i then get called into a standards meeting and was told i am not allowed to take a little this semester, and am watching most of my friends get twins. i know i had made a mistake, and i feel horrible about the whole situation, and i feel like the only way to fix it is to remove myself entirely to avoid making another mistake, because i was completely unaware that what i was doing was wrong. i’ve cried over it almost every night and feel like such a terrible person who shouldn’t be allowed to ever have a little. i don’t know what to do. i’m being told everything is okay but i just feel like i ruined my chances at leadership within the chapter and that im just making the chapter worse. any advice at all would be helpful

I plan on doing spring COB for my school, which Greek life is a mildly big deal for.
We have 8 chapters at our school and there is 3 ‘top houses’, 4 ‘middle houses’ and 1 very very ‘bottom house’ that nobody likes because they essentially let everyone in.
I am lowkey interested in the bottom house that everyone kind of craps on and I want to show interest in them since I know they will be doing spring COB, but also don’t want to be shunned by other girls for being in a ‘bottom house’, rather than any of the other 7. I know I shouldn’t listen to their opinions as it’s based off if I connect with them and I feel like I have so far based off of the girls I’ve talked to but I am scared of being made fun of because of it.
I am just asking for advice of what to do in this situation. Thank you in advance! :)

I’m a freshman at Virginia Tech, and I’m honestly really conflicted about what to do. I joined Omega Phi Alpha (a national service sorority) this semester because I wasn’t making as many friends as I hoped to and was looking for a sense of community in college, the way i did back home and i did service projects my whole life and it kinda felt like that was missing when i first got here, so OPhiA felt perfect. I want to preface that i’m still a new member, so i haven’t been in it for very long and I haven’t gotten to know all the sisters yet either.

The girls are genuinely sweet, and I do care about the organisation, especially the service aspect. I’ve already been involved in a bunch of service projects, and I really enjoy that part of it. We also have things like Bigs/Littles, pinning, and other traditions, so there are definitely some traditional sorority elements.

However, I haven’t really gotten that “found family” feeling from the girls yet. I know it’s still early and that could change, but it feels like some of the other new members have already gotten along really well and are super close. A lot of them are sophomores, so maybe they’ve been able to bond more easily, but idk. I feel like I don’t quite fit in, and sometimes I feel like I have to try really hard to fit in at all. I also feel like I’m being performative a lot of the time, if that makes sense.

I’ve been thinking about rushing Panhellenic next semester because I honestly feel like I’m missing out on the traditional sorority experience, and I think I’d really enjoy that side of college life. At the same time, I feel kind of guilty because I do care about OPhiA, and I’d be really sad to leave, especially if I get a Big and build more relationships there by the end of the semester.

I am technically able to be in both simultaneously because OPhiA is a national service sorority and not a social one, but my biggest concern is how realistic it would be to manage two sororities. I’m pretty sure chapter meetings for both would be on Sundays, and I imagine there would be a lot of overlap with events, service requirements, and other commitments.

If I got into a Panhellenic chapter that I really loved, I honestly think I’d consider dropping OPhiA. Not because it was a placeholder of sorts but because a panhel sorority would also have service projects and philo events. However, the thought of leaving after getting a Big, becoming more involved and being officially "activated" makes me sad. Part of me wishes I hadn’t joined OPhiA so I wouldn’t have to worry about this, but I also don’t regret the service I’ve done or the people I’ve met at all.

I’m also nervous about rushing in general. I don’t know if I’m really a stereotypical “sorority girl” and I’m scared of not getting a bid. The recruitment process itself is intimidating to me, too.

I know it’s only my first semester, and I have time to meet more people and see how things develop in OPhiA. I’m not even sure if I definitely want to rush yet, but I’m considering registering so I can keep that option open.

Has anyone been in a similar situation, especially anyone who’s been in a service sorority and considered rushing Panhellenic? Did you feel like you were missing out on the traditional sorority experience? Did you regret leaving one organisation for another, or were you happy with your decision? And for anyone who’s been involved in both, is balancing the commitments even realistic?

I’d really appreciate any advice, and im sorry if this isn’t entirely cohesive (it’s my first time posting on reddit and im not sure how exactly this works😅).

Hi everyone! I just joined a sorority at a large SEC school and am having trouble finding my place. I usually am a very social person and have no problem making new friends.

I feel like there has been no effort to help my PC become friends with each other. I talk to my friends in other sororities who say they have events on the weekends with their pcs, retreats, and host things at the house (movie nights etc), but my sorority does none of those things.

The only times I see people in my PC is during our chapter once a week, and when we have our mixers (once or twice a week)

The mixers would usually be away for me to make friends except it's hard to decide between going to a mixer on a tuesday night and not getting enough sleep for my exam the next morning or not going and not making friends. Even if I did go, 75% of my pc doesn't go to the events so I see no point

I think I can count on one hand how many actual friends I have in my sorority, with most of them only being my friends because I knew them before hand or live near them.

I know I shouldn't expect to be best friends with everyone, but is this normal? Why am I paying thousands of dollars a semester to do nothing but say i'm X sorority?

Dues cost a total of $850 for october and nove, then it'll be $194 per month afterwards. The sorority I got a bid for is also very flexible when it comes to mandatory events and attending events, as long as I communicate. That brought me relief in those aspects I were worried about, but now I still have this what if.

Since I just started working as a server, depending on how much I make, its like I'm already giving away half of my paycheck to the sorority when I could put that into savings instead. I'm still unsure about how I feel. College is the only time I'll be able to do this, but also I could be saving up a a few thousand per year if I consistently work.

Even after the chapter meeting today, I still don't feel 100% in it. If that makes sense. And I have initiation planned tomorrow, but I'm still quite unsure. I just feel that everyone knows each other, and I'm just there sometimes

hi all :) asking on behalf of a friend:

"im in a smaller panhel chapter (less than 20 girls, we had 35 before a bunch of seniors graduated). since last semester, we've been having issues with the member educator on exec bullying active sisters and PCs. the matter has been brought to standards, exec, and the advisor's attention multiple times. the matter continues to be unresolved and has gotten increasingly worse. this girl called a non-member a slur at a college event and the sorority took no action.

a member motioned for an impeachment of the member in which the exec board and advisor turned down, even though multiple sisters came forward w their experiences and concerns. should this be escalated to the national hq or fsl at this point?? the chapter doesn't feel welcoming or safe for some girls anymore and has them reconsidering their membership"

I’m in a small chapter (40ish members) at a small college. My time at school has been really rough (chronic health, family, mental health issues) I’m considering again if I should drop.

The admin/judicial side of the chapter plus drama make it feel like I am paying hundreds a semester to go to events that feel like chores. We don’t have a house, and people don’t really hang out outside of their families— everyone I’m close with personally have or are considering dropping. A lot of the members have beliefs that make anything more than surface-level friendship difficult— and I am required to stay nonpartisan in order not to offend people that don’t want to defend their own beliefs. It drives me nuts.

I’ve loved having a small leadership role, and I could join EC and have a chance of improving our chapter. But I work and am in leadership outside of the sorority so the time/money commitment is hard. I could alternatively just do to bare minimum but I would lose my say and have to slog through events I don’t want to go to.

Dropping would be amazing but also awkward. Everyone knows everyone on campus and a lot of people haven’t dropped my chapter just to avoid that awkwardness. I would prefer early alum status but I don’t know that I could get it. I could do inactive status but only for a semester, if approved, and I’d still be stuck with no leadership and not having fun.

I’m talking to an advisor soon but I really don’t know what I want to do moving forward.

TLDR; I’m going through to (mentally, physically) and my sorority isn’t fun. I can either take a leadership role to try to change things OR be less involved member OR drop if I can’t find a way to go early alum. I am torn.

hey ladies! my tree hasn't had any tree letters in a while, so just wondering where a good website to buy cute family tree letters is!!! i wanted to do something like a tank top with a cute pattern in the letters. thanks !!

I've posted about this before, but I'm a college freshman and the dues for a sorority I accepted a bid from is due today ($297).

I have the funds for it, but the timing is putting me in a dilemma and I can't decide what to do. I'm not sure if I should still at least give it a try and pay the more expensive new member dues for now, or drop it as I also want to work and save most of my money for future trips/tuition. I've also heard there are many other fees like baskets or buying outfits for events and the t-shirts)

Has anybody been in this spot before? Where they couldn't decide between sticking it out and trying or dropping it due to other plans and time commitment?

And typically, how many events do sororities require to attend? Is it very time consuming? (I'm a prenursing major so my classes can be tough, and I also have to work on weekends. Also, the college I go to is a local state university in Texas, and the greek life is decent. Not super duper big but we have frats/sororities houses too)

I was told at an event at my university that I’m only allowed to attend one informational meeting as a prospective looking to join a d9 sorority. I went to an event one sorority was having, and they asked if I was going to their informational and I said I couldn’t because I have class. They said I can email the vice president to schedule a time to chat if I was interested since I couldn’t make it. The vp beat me to the punch and asked if I’m available to talk this weekend. I was already in the process of scheduling a coffee chat with a different sorority. I just transferred to my 4-year uni so I’m using these events to get to know the ladies and to see which group I mesh and align with the most. Would it be disrespectful or inappropriate to schedule two coffee chats with two different sororities? And can someone share advice on what topics should be talked about and/or what questions I should ask during a coffee chat?

I’m a freshman at a pretty big university but our Greek life isn’t as big. We had ~230 PNMs during fall recruitment this year. Going into it, there was really only one house I wanted. I had genuinely enjoyed every convo I had with them and their philanthropy is super personal for me. I wanted to SIP but my Rho Ghama advised me against it so i listed my 2 choices. On bid day (unfortunately) i got a bid from my second house instead. I was super disappointed even though i genuinely liked the girls in the house I received a bid from but I think i was just so attached to my first choice that it was hard imagining myself anywhere else. I talked to a few actives during bid day and they encouraged me to at least give it a chance so i did. I went to our first event and honestly really enjoyed it. I loved spending time with both new and active members and I could really see myself fitting in. The dues are also relatively cheap so that was plus. However I’ve continued having thoughts about dropping and I’m still struggling to figure out if it’s because I don’t see myself in this chapter or because I’m still disappointed over not getting my first choice. I also have the possibility of transferring to an out of state university in the east coast (I’m in the south) but I’m not completely certain. They all have pretty small Greek life but my current chapter doesn’t have a chapter in any of them. I know if I go through initiation I won’t be able to rush again at my new school. On top of that my dues (320) are due this Sunday and I don’t know if I should drop before or pay and see what happens. I feel like I’m going back and forth between my choices so any advice helps.

We’re having our big/little reveal in 2 weeks and I’m at a loss for what I should make my theme. I hated my theme last year so I want something really cool that won’t break the bank. How did you come up with your ideas? Thanks!

im not really bothered by this but I guess since I joined the sorority two years ago as a freshman I have realized I have more sisters then friends never really dated outside of greek and only party with Greek people.

I like have no time for anything else anymore I have to keep my grades up and also make time for my bf and also go to all the parties since even though it’s not required it kinda feels like it actually is.

im either really drunk or in class hungover there’s like no in between anymore. Is this bad or is it just part of being a sister? Every girl in my sorority seems chill with this and have the same life like it’s impossible to even date a guy who isn’t in a frat because when could you see them too almost all my sisters including me now only date within greek too now, and idk just thought I’d post and ask.

Hi Everyone!
I am planning on running for VP member experience. I was hoping with this post i could get any suggestions, tips, feedback, etc. For a little backstory, this will be my third time running for a position. The previous 2 times I ended up not getting anything, I’ve got for really low positions as well as exec. The only feedback I received was that they loved my answers and I had a really strong interview but the picked someone else. This will be my last chance to run for a position as I’m a junior and I want to give it everything I have! I filled out my application and multiple people reviewed it for me saying it was strong and I met with the girl in the position currently and she said I have a good chance. So I do feel a little discouraged from the previous times but I want to put my best foot forward, move past from the disappointment of the last 2 elections and take any advice I could receive!
Thank you all for any advice!

I don’t want to name drop anything or anyone so I’ll try to be vague with everything. I’m a new member of a sorority and I joined through COB instead of primary recruitment and my chapter has already done the new members big/little except for mine. I got to pick 5 active members to go on dates with and the dates started yesterday. My first went really well we did crafts at the house, then we ate, went to a volleyball game, and then a football game. Yesterday my second date texted me saying her only free days were yesterday and today, I told her we should hang out today since I already had a date. Today I texted her that my classes were about to finish and if she wanted to meet on campus and grab food like we planned, she said she wasn’t on campus and that she was at the house, I then asked if I should go to the house and she never responded. I decided to just walk the 20 minutes to the house and meet her there, I live in Texas so it was about 88 degrees around that time. I get to the house and one of the sisters opens the door and my date is on the couch, I walk in and she asks what I want to do, I tell her I’m fine doing anything and she puts on a movie, after six minutes she pauses it and leaves to a part of the house I can’t go to, I’m sitting on the couch confused about what I should do so I get on my phone, she comes back and I’m pretty sure she went to the store after but I’m not totally sure because I didn’t see her again. I was at the house for three hours helping them set up for a mixer and the only time I saw her were those first 15 minutes I was in the house. Before I left, which was around 6:50 I texted her it was getting late and I was leaving, which she never responded.
I felt like that was kind of messed up, if she couldn’t/ didn’t want to go on a date she could have rescheduled or canceled and I could have gone with another girl. I may be dramatic of this but my friend was telling me it was disrespectful because she never responded and left. I feel like I should just let it go and am over thinking it but I don’t know!

Welcome to r/Sororities Free Talk Friday! Let us know what you have going on in your life, Greek related or not. What are you celebrating or working through this week? What are you looking forward to? What do you need to vent about?

Whatever is going on in your life, thanks for being part of this community!