When I was a youngster, I'd fantasize about it regularly on my way to hell, I mean school. The relief and freedom inside of my chest was immense at the peak of imagining it on any given day. Then I'd see other people and enter back to... you know... this.

Having no friends can be a good thing. You have more freedom, save money, and can spend your time however you want without worrying about messages, meetups or maintaining relationships. For some people, having their own company is more enjoyable and less stressful than socialising.

Society constantly pushes the idea that humans are social creatures and that everyone needs friends to be happy. I think this is taken too far. People assume that having no friends means you're lonely or miserable, and some even act as though having toxic friends is better than having none at all. I'd rather be alone than maintain relationships that make my life worse.

Ultimately, everyone is different. Some people can't go a day without socialising, while others can go months without it and be perfectly content. There's nothing wrong with having no friends if it's what you genuinely want. You're not hurting anyone; you're simply living differently. Society needs to accept that being happy alone is just as valid as being happy around others

By which I mean, I haven't talked to anybody except mandatory conversations, like to teachers or when I have to get something done and it requires interaction, as well as my family, but I don't share anything meaningful with them. I haven't had an open, comfortable, personal conversation about interests or anything happening in my life for 2 years. I haven't had any friends or aquaintances for 2 years, in fact I dont recall ever interacting with a peer my age during this time. I do love my family and I know they do love me a lot, but our relationship is just so much obligation, debt, their prying into my life, I feel exhausted and stressed by them, they don't accept me. It's so strange but I can't express even positive emotions around them. Like when I want to laugh but they're around, I instinctively hold it in, I dont't know why. I'm unable to be happy or even smile around them.

2 years ago I was in high school, there was only one person there who I spoke to whom I considered my best friend, but we had a breaking up. Okay that's not true, I had another aquaintance in high school, but I completely ghosted her because I was spending all my energy on that best friend, so when he left I was left alone. Didn't speak to anybody in my own class the entire 4 years. Now I'm in college and nothing has changed, I'm still completely isolated from people from my class and dorm. The 2 friends from high school I only became acquainted with because they reached out to me first. I'm unable to initiate contact first. Seeing every single person around me interacting with each other, being able to form connections so easily fills me with so much envy and sadness, but it's expected, I'm the one who always hides, who always sits alone in the back of the class, away from everybody, I isolate myself physically as much as possible, I do it instinctively. This is more of a social anxiety issue than a schizoid one, I know.

I've pretty much given up on ever having somebody to connect with ever again. I'm too socially retarded at this point. I don't even know if I am schizoid since I DO want connection, I truly loved that best friend and mourned his loss deeply, the other friend I didn't really care about, so forgive me for posting this here, I contemplated whether to post this here or on some social anxiety subreddit, but decided on here because of the energy management thing. He was one of maybe 2 people in my life that I truly did like and cared about. Some months ago there was a person who started texting me, after not having talked to anybody for over a year I was happy, but it immediately struck me how the obligation to respond back was draining and inconvincing me, I started thinking about how better it would be if I didn't have to do that.

I talk to myself a lot. Mainly it's just recreating the dynamic I had with that best friend, like what I'd say to him after I see a meme or something, and then I laugh at my own joke.

I can't imagine ever having a romantic relationship, being expected to have sex and physical intimacy, or sharing my phone like some people expect, or even having to sleep in the same bed every single day, it's unimagineable. My bed is MY private place, all to myself, I can't imagine having to have someone there during the night all the time, it's my most MY place during the most MY time. Or having to follow some social expectations on how a couple is supposed to be.

I don't care about anything. I don't care about school, I don't want to get a job, I don't care about being successful. Going to classes, sitting there for long hours, having to do school work, it's so painfully draining and I can't stand it, I don't have the energy to do even the things I normally like. I dont't have any ambitions or goals, all I can see for myself is having a low effort job for survival, so I can spend my energy on things I care about. I don't ever experience pleasure, all I'm ever able to get are short releases of dopamine when I see something funny on the internet. I've been on antidepressants for over 5 years. I am talented at drawing and was very passionate about it all my life, now I barely ever do it, barely made any artworks for 5 years.

I keep talking about how I want connection, but at the same time I wish to not be known by anyone. I wish I could just live all alone, with no obligations to my family or society, just doing and reading about what interests me. I don't care about anything else. I wish I could be some intangible entity, just conciousness with the ability to think and perceive, but not be perceived. I already don't exist socially anyway, I wish I could not exist at all. I thought about trying psychedelics. The biggest escape/altered state of perception I'm able to experience are dreams, but I want to experience it while I'm concious. Just escape.

I'm sorry I ended up rambling. Just had to let this out somehow.

admittedly probably a trite complaint, but i'm awfully sick and disillusioned with society. the environment i'm in right now is unavoidably toxic and bitter, and it drives me up a wall with irritation when i hear others project their own insecurities onto me. i don't have a particularly inflated ego, i don't try to assert myself as some sort of person to aspire to, but because i find moderate success academically i've just been finding constant vitriol spewed about me. it also gets quite misogynistic in nature, which i suppose is expected, but still so absurd.

i don't understand where this is all coming from. i only perform for others' expectations to make things easy for both parties, so just seeing this from other people is absurd when i don't go around flaunting my success or endeavors. i have not had a single conversation with any of the people speaking poorly about me. i don't care about any of their criticism since by nature it's more embarrassing for them to be speaking about me this way, but at the very core of it i just cannot understand where this urge to be part of the rat race comes from.

are regular people really so preoccupied with others? to the point of getting so worked up about me? it just bothers me since i am fairly nondescript; i don't like to be very fake if i can help it, even if the personality i project forward outwardly can be a bit strong at times. i don't wish that everyone would experience the emptying nature of this, but i mean ambition honestly feels like a societal poison and i truly am just baffled by it

I am a 20 year old guy with SPD.
I work in sales. Makes me good money and makes me feel a sense of accomplishment. That being said, by the end of the day my brain is completely fried. Talking to clients and coworkers all day is so hard on my mental well-being but sales is the only way I wont feel like a slave when I work(ive tried EVERYTHING I can with no degree). I have to fake being intrigued by what the people around me are saying ALL DAY. I rarely went to school and had horrible attendance because of this exact issue. I have always been pretty good at talking to people and hiding how pointless our conversations have felt. That being said, I also understand the importance of social perception and unfortunately we are a lot of times looked at as outsiders and strange side characters. I have one very close friend that I actually enjoy spending time with but outside of that I have no one. I used to try and keep relationships with people but after a while it all just seemed so pointless. This part doesn’t really affect me mentally but it is just wild thinking about the lives un-isolated people are living. I genuinely just don’t understand how someone could work the job I work then go home to their wife and kids and sit and have family dinner with them when I haven’t been able to hold a personal/romantic relationship for longer than a few months. Am I just going so miss out on my young adult years because of this need for isolation? Do you guys look back on your life with regret or just the same indeference that you felt all your life? Kind of a rant here but kind of just seeing someone has been in a similar situation to me and maybe give me a few pointers.

I landed my first job 4 months ago after spending a year and a half in a gap where I didn’t do much at all besides sink into my head all day; I barely left the house and talked to people even less. Regardless, I’m finding that while I don’t mind having a job and doing the work expected of me, the people aspect is kind of grating. I’m fine being stuck in a place if it’s only me there, but with other people around I feel almost a constant dread. Not out of fear or anxiety, but because every aspect of recognization is intensely disorienting, down to being called by my name. I have to remind myself that this is “me” and dredge together a personality that keeps my position stability afloat. I just do not mentally associate with this level of existence i’m so used to being far away from.

If being a shut-in was a viable option and one available to me, I would probably continue that lifestyle. Otherwise, I often feel that being itinerant would be the only mildly fulfilling (or as close as that gets because “fulfillment” is very vague for me beyond a sense of freedom) would be being an itinerant. I don’t mind “experiencing” “life” but if I have to“exist” in a place, I’d rather do so as fleetingly as possible, if that makes sense. I guess it’s self-defeating because it’d mean “meeting” more people, but as long as the interaction is shallow and mostly forgotten it’d be whatever, I guess.

Kind of rambling, but yeah.

I never really found a good label for how I felt about sex.

I could watch it, read it, and fantasize about it just fine. In fact I probably have more vivid fantasies about it. That’s not uncommon.

But I’m disgusted by it. The idea of me having sex with someone isn’t the part that disgusts me though, I just know it probably wouldn’t be satisfying to me.

The part that repulses me is someone thinking about me like that. To see me as a sexual creature and fantasize about me specifically feels so alien and kinda gross.

It makes me deeply uncomfortable despite the fact I know it’s a basic human urge. Maybe this isn’t a SzPD thing but I don’t have any sort of sexual trauma to explain my deep aversion to it.

I’m trying to get us out more to socialize but neither of us really “like” doing the social stuff. We have fun with our immediate family members but he’s not interested in making friends and I feel terrible about it. I didn’t want this for him. I mask as best I can but it didn’t seem to help. I’m adopted so idk if this is genetic or a parental failure on my part. Edit: sorry idk what the purpose of this post was besides that I don’t know who else to tell.

A schizoid ex boyfriend initiated a sudden breakup after 1 year relationship. He initiated the breakup after coming to a conclusion that he doesn’t have the emotional capacity to be in a relationship anymore. He suggested to stay in touch after the breakup but I said I don’t think it’s a good idea because I hate staying friends with an ex.
After reading some stuff about schizoids I wonder if it’s nice to check in on him or he rather prefer me not to do it? I care about him as a person, but I don’t want him to freak out and feel that I’m harassing him.
The breakup happened few months ago. Thanks for your help

My routine is very exhausting, and because of that, I get stressed sometimes.

There was one day when I really felt bad and couldn't take my body anymore -- mentally.

I ended up going too far and completely disconnected from my body; I couldn't move, only with great effort. It was like I was controlling a puppet, but a very heavy one.

I don't know if this is related to the disorder or just something separate. Have you ever been through a situation like this? (I'm not looking for a diagnosis, it's just a question)

Life is steady, but unremarkable. I'm not happy nor sad. I exist currently in a very medium place.

I thought that perhaps this would be the ideal. I've had a turbulent life and i think there could be a good chance that the reason i feel so unsettled emotionally is that im actually in peace and since its foreign to me i am looking to upset the calm waters. I dont know. But it feels uncomfortable in a mild way. I dont think im going to do anything to ruin it. But i know theres an impulse to and that bothers me about myself. It's a bit disheartening to be aware of how much of a problem you actually are and that even if you can give yourself some leeway for things out of your control and exempt of certain responsibilities, you are still dealing with the result of all those actions, the form that you are, not what you wish you were. It does bring into question how realistic it is to think you can become something you can imagine but the road to it must be visible. All i know is that many people have others that can champion them to a being they wish to be, but i am alone on the journey with little to no help but my own volition, character and perseverance. By the time i reach this destination i cant see i wont be the same man anymore and my desires will have changed. As they have done now. I walked the path that i intended, found my station. I have completed the goal the old me wishes i would and set out for. Yet i still feel like my journey is barely beginning. And i don't know where to go from here, but where i am doesn't feel like home. And i wonder if i ever will find it.

I'm not sure, i suppose ill try to sit with this place until the time to move comes again.

I daydream about being bullied. I tried to not care, but it makes me melancholic. It makes me think of human nature and how depressing it is. For example, people usually tell me whether I'm African or African American, rather than letting me tell them; they decide for me. It's rude. Another example, people have asked me how old my mom is, likely knowing good and darn well you're not supposed to ask a woman her age. People have told me that my mother didn't raise me right, including one of my cousins. I could go on like this.

Melancholy is the natural outcome of my life.

Can anyone relate?

How do you cope with being disappointed by humans? Generally speaking.

You can skip this whole thing and get to the actual question below it all if you'd like.

I should state that while I am a human, I've never really felt like one. Ever since I was younger, I've always been disappointed with the human body. I always thought that bodies should have parts that make them unique in expressive ways, but we just never grew them.

I always thought that if I could change the way my body looked, I'd do it in a heartbeat, but now that I'm older and have no piercings or tattoos to speak of, I'm left wondering if I ever really wanted a human body.

When I think of what I wanted to be, ignoring all laws of physics or what can possibly be, I think I'd want to be a dragon napping on a pile of books, able to rattle my scales and stretch my wings, doing who knows what. But books aren't that comfortable when you curl up in a ball on top of them as a human, which has to deal with human problems.

I've become quite saddened by the hard truth that I am to remain human, a drab thing compared to a dragon.

The worst thing about that is that EVERYONE is human. Want to go to the store? Full of humans. Want to go on a walk? Humans, swerving their cars back and forth. Feel tired of humans in general and have become dissociated with even relating to humanity? BOY HAVE I GOT THE BEST HUMAN THERAPIST FOR YOU! No matter what you do, you're constantly surrounded my nature's little joke: The only thing you can ever have a coherent conversation with is the thing that is a constant reminder of what you are and will always ever be: A person in a world where everybody looks, sounds and breathes like humans, but where you don't belong.

I've seen more than my fair share of humans, being the only species we can actually communicate with in an intelligent matter, and frankly? I have a very low opinion on humanity. Stubborn, always believing they're right, self centered, generally annoying at the best of times. I've had the pleasure of interacting with many humans (As a human, another human is the only thing that can actually comprehend you) and an astounding amount of them haven't been unique in any way that I've seen. I've seen probably 80 humans just today, and I don't think I've seen one that I actually like yet.

And, unfortunately for me, I can't be anything other than human, unless I am asleep or I die. I have to stand up and see other humans, who've all had their own life and are content with "being human". Right, because who wouldn't enjoy working a desk job for 40 years to afford retirement for their loving family? Me, the human who hates humans and whose wish is to be a made up creatur

Basically humanity sucks and being a human REALLY sucks, and the body I actually want is something I can't physically achieve unless I were to break the laws of nature and physics. How would I go about enjoying being a human as someone who never wanted to be one?

Childhood was brutal. Neglected by parents, do not care about either one. Very negative outlook starting in middle school. Kept to myself and kept my grades good, tried to avoid being noticed. Managed to stay out of my senior yearbook.

20s were rough. Hated college and got my degree ASAP to get out of that hellhole. Realized in my early 20s that I was stuck in my head, thought maybe I could turn things around. But the damage was already done as I would realize later. Gave up on dating completely (not that I did much of it) by my late 20s; was wasting everyone's time by being adjacent to the dating pool. Turns out no one wants a dullard who doesn't show affection as partner.

30s are wrapping up and have been quiet. Been living alone for over a decade now. All friendships have fizzled out. Easy to happen when you aren't interested in anyone's life. Have a few cats; they're nice. Had time to reflect on my earlier years and find the roots of my odd behaviors. Definitely no changing it outside of time traveling back to my childhood. Guess it's time to buckle down and wait for the inevitable end.

A lot of the posts I read here remind me of when I was younger; that longing to fit in, to care about something, to just be in the general vicinity of what is considered normal. But that's never going to happen. I'm never going to wake up one day and be interested in other people's affairs, and I'm sure many here are faced with similar conundrums. Being distressed over something you can't change isn't worth the energy at the end of the day.

First things first: This is not meant to be about gate keeping or any purists attitudes! There are no "right" or "wrong" answers and nothing in this poll makes somebody schizoid or not … nothing!

It's only, that to me the feeling of loneliness is alien and it's hard for me to understand that feeling and what's behind it. I thought that that may be so, due to my PD, yet often read here of loneliness and I now wonder if my lack of that feeling (for which I am thankful, seeing how much harm it seems to do to others — be they disordered or not) may then have other sources/reasons to check up instead.

Hence my interest in the question how common the feeling of loneliness is in our lot. And I'd like everybody, diagnosed or not, who felt even slightly represented by this, that is the schizoid, personality disorder, to answer the poll, if they like. Thank you very much!

Hello. I have been diagnosed with schizoid and schizotypal personality disorders. I spend a lot of time studying and reflecting on my characteristics, and recently I've started having questions. I've noticed that I adore myself, am very interested in myself, and am so self-obsessed that my family has begun to reproach me for thinking only of myself. I'm completely uninterested in the people around me and what's going on in real life. Furthermore, over the past few months, I've been socializing a lot, trying to make friends, and ultimately, I've become very disillusioned with the people around me. I've become disgusted by people, and those around me have become very irritating. I've become even more attached to solitude and have withdrawn into myself. As a result, cruel thoughts often pop into my head. For example, when I encounter someone showing empathy, I immediately want to make them cry, to do something that will evoke horror and tears. I've become indifferent to other people's feelings and opinions. I no longer care about others, and I've begun to put myself above those around me. On top of that, I've become impulsive and irresponsible. I can't bring myself to think about the future or the consequences of my actions. I'm completely unconcerned about potential problems and conflicts with others. This is despite the fact that I'm feeling better than ever, while others have begun to worry about my behavior and lifestyle. I have many questions about my current state because I haven't been able to come to any definitive conclusion about everything that's happening. The AI ​​says it's secondary psychopathy of the impulsive type (or something like that, I don't remember the exact wording) and narcissistic traits against a background of schizoid personality disorder. According to the AI, these characteristics arose as a result of complete mental exhaustion and act as a defense mechanism for my psyche (meaning my psyche has exhausted its resources and my brain has switched to survival mode, so I can't focus on the feelings of others or take responsibility for myself). I haven't spoken to my psychiatrist or psychologist yet, but I'm afraid they won't be able to tell me anything informative. Therefore, I'm writing to this forum with a question for other schizoids: How does your disorder manifest itself in you? Have you experienced anything similar? What do you know about similar negative personality traits associated with schizoid personality?

P.S: Sorry if I made a lot of mistakes in the text, I'm writing through a translator

I’ve had 28 sessions. It was much easier telling her things at the start of therapy. By session 10 it got difficult because I unexpectedly cried and it caught me off guard. Since then I’ve mostly been on guard. Recently I told her I had written a note and that it’s about her. As soon as I said “it’s about you” I regretted it instantly and wanted to hide completely. These sessions are on zoom and without cameras on which definitely helps. But I just find it so so difficult. I don’t want to make a noise. She saw me fidget once in a sessions offered fidget toys and I hated that she saw me fidget because I didn’t want her knowing what I’m feeling or drawing inferences. Same with the note, I was worried that I narrowed it down too much for her and she can infer the rest out herself. It’s driving me insane and I fucking hate it. Equally, I’ve never experienced this side of therapy before so I’m also interested

Any thoughts? lol

my body and my brain have been much more burdened than I realized before .. the loneliness and asceticism have been rock hard at times .. I´ve worried about relationships .. that I wont be enough just as I am .. it has really tormented me like death anxiety .. but all that was illusions .. I never actually made the mistakes I imagined I had... I’ve worried about things I’ve said to others—specifically when they’ve become accusatory or hierarchical—even though my responses were completely reasonable. It’s still those old patterns at play... the feeling that I have to accommodate some angry idiot just to make things okay.

I've been dating and living with my partner for about 2 years now and for context I am a mental health clinician. We've had a lot of ups and downs recently related to our emotional connection. As we've been having our issues I've been delving more in psychoanalysis and truly believe that he falls on the schizoid spectrum. There are so many traits he has and I'm fairly certain of my assessment, however I haven't told him about any of my rabbit holes. I'm fearful for how he will react because whenever I bring up intense vulnerable topics he, of course, withdraws.

I am uncertain about the future of our relationship, but one thing I am positive about is my deep love and care for him as a person. He is truly brilliant, and I think extremely misunderstood. I'm the only support person he has outside of his parents. I worry about his ability to take care of himself and this chronic numbness he has described to me is especially concerning. He's quite resistant to therapy or collaborative introspection, so that's why this topic is so hard to broach.

So my question is, for other schizoids, what is the most effective way to communicate this information without overwhelming him. Or is this even worth bringing up at all? I'm not trying to change him as a person, but want to bring light to some of the reasons why he's feeling so stuck and numb so he can maybe get help. Or perhaps there's no real answer because everyone is different and this is going to be a tough conversation regardless of how I spin it.

Is it just me or has there been an increase in people deleting their post as soon as they have the answers they wanted? When I look into my recent comments, almost half of the threads have since been deleted. I can't remember this being like that until recently.

Honestly, I think this sucks. It has gotten to the point where I don't want to comment anymore, because half of the posts will disappear a few hours later anyway. Why should I spend time writing a long, thoughtful comment, just to have the whole post deleted shortly after, so barely anyone is ever going to see my comment?

I understand that sometimes you feel uncomfortable having shared too much, or maybe you phrased the post the wrong way. I have deleted stuff before myself, sometimes it happens. But what's up with the sudden increase? People are deleting relatively harmless posts. "I got the answers I wanted, now I don't need you anymore". Kinda ruins the point of a forum imho. Even if you don't care about the topic anymore, it might still be helpful for others later.

I mean, I'm not a mod or anything. And maybe it has always been like that? But I can't help but feel like this is becoming a trend, and I don't like it personally. It keeps me from engaging. If everyone did this, we could essentially shut the sub down.

i have adhd and SzPD, along with a multitude of chronic health issues. as a result, i hate the human condition, hate being around other people, hate working, hate my uncomfortable flesh, and have no ability to keep up with hobbies or routines. in my twenties (college + grad school) i could at least cope with alcohol, casual sex, and the hope that maybe things will get better someday. now i'm aged out of no-strings-attached physical intimacy, burned out of a lucrative career path, have nobody i care for, and have zero goals or attachments.

thankfully i have zero debt, and i can kind of drag myself along by living in my parents' basement and working a brainless part time job for petty bills. but still, i don't really see much of a reason not to exit early. i would absolutely jump at MAID if it were available here.

Okay, so my little brother (20) experiences all the symptoms of having schizoid personality disorder. Things like being very closed off to people other than immediate family, talks very little, has no friends (and he likes it like that), hates social interaction, and is very emotionally flat. I mean, that could be symptoms of depression and anxiety but he says that he likes his solitary life and is happy the way things are.

My mother doesn’t seem to believe it’s schizoid personality disorder and got him an appointment with a psychiatrist earlier today. According to my brother, he mentioned that he experiences symptoms of the disorder and the psychiatrist told him that my brother doesn’t have it and that people with the disorder typically experience hallucinations. The doctor also told him that he shouldn’t believe everything on google. The doctor then prescribed medications to help him with depression and anxiety.

When my brother told me what the psychiatrist said I was so confused. I’ve done so much research on schizoid personality disorder and everything online (the NIH, Mayo Clinic, Cleveland Clinic, Webmd) reports that in order to be diagnosed with the disorder there should be NO hallucinations present. My brother has another appointment with the same psychiatrist sometime in December. Should my brother get a second opinion and a proper diagnosis? Or am I just crazy for thinking that he has schizoid personality disorder? Is the psychiatrist right and people with the disorder typically experience hallucinations or was he talking about a different disorder entirely? I’d love to know what other people think.

Some time ago I gave up therapy.

I had the impression that it wasn't leading anywhere and I probably wouldn't be able to get anything out of it.

However, my head was still looking for things in my everyday life that I could talk about in therapy (I always had trouble finding something, so I looked for everything I could - the most frequently read books/movies/series). Either way, these types of mental notes were accumulating in my head - lacking an outlet, I decided to use AI.

I know that therapy using a chatbot is a bad idea, but - after some modifications, it turns out that self-therapy with the support of a chatbot seems more effective to me than the last 5 years spent with a real-life therapist.

Have those of you who use therapy ever used Chat-Bots?

What is your experience and do you find it helpful?