As part of the 2026 spring offensive, the People's Army of John Reilly (PAJR) and the Mr. Six loyalists (MSL) auxiliaries, under the command of General Mr. Six himself, began their final attack on The North American regional theme park industry on 6 April 2026, with the Army of the Republic of Enchanted (ARVE) commanded by General James Harhi suffering a heavy artillery bombardment. By the next day, President Gene Staples had surrendered while the PAJR/MSL had occupied the important points of the city and raised six flags over the North American Amusement Presidential Palace, ending the existence of a free, cooperative and safe industry and its predecessor (1846–2026).

In the above image the final chopper out of the Six Flags chain is shown, within it are the final survivors.

In fact, that’s my favorite part of the whole ride.

Guess they’re going to need over the shoulder restraints now too

Inspired by u/millennium-force

they said “don’t go in the shed” while dispatching gemin, obviously the only coaster with a shed is the beast, are the Gemini operators stoopid?

So did you know the very tip of southeastern Georgia has a theme park? And one that's actually pretty old, too?

So I set myself a goal to visit every single theme park fully owned by Nintendo and I'm still working my way through the lineup. This time, our journey brings us to the developing town of Pooler in southeastern Georgia, along the man-made Lake Opelucid. The park is Nintendo's Lake Opelucid!

For those who require context, Nintendo's Lake Opelucid originally opened as Lake Opelucid Theme Park in the spring of 1952. For a while, it mostly sat as a slightly upscaled fairground for those within the Savannah area...until sometime in the mid-1960s, when the theme park market was starting to develop more, with the opening of Six Flags Over Georgia in 1967 signaling signs of prosperity and redevelopment for Lake Opelucid, pushing them to catch up by adding a variety of new rides throughout the late 1960s into the 1970s and beyond.

However, this growth caught the attention of Super Nintendo World Parks and Entertainment in the early 1980s, who was now in the phase of trying to purchase any local theme park that had been rapidly developing over the course of around 5 years. In 1982, the original owner of the park would end up giving Nintendo full ownership of the property (since admittedly, he was a big fan of the Nintendo parks). Nintendo would make a big splash in the 1983 season, rebranding and repainting rides, and adding an entire area known as Famicom Classic Zone, meant to help spread out the originally very clustered lineup of rides that choked out the main midway.

Now enough preamble. Let's go to the lineup of coasters!

Corkscrew Kong is the first coaster you'll encounter if you go counterclockwise around the lake. It's a 1978 Arrow Corkscrew coaster model and just like a good chunk of them, they're still really fun experiences.

Psychic Waluigi is honestly the biggest highlight of the park, seeing as it is the only Intamin 8-inversion coaster in the country, and it celebrated its 20th anniversary this season. You move through the inversions quite quickly, and the helix at the end is surprisingly forceful.

Wario's Reign Storm used to be one of the most agonizing rides in the park, but now...it's sorta OK. It isn't a good ride, because RCCA still built it in 1995, but the Gravity Group track work it recieved last season does at least mitigate the jackhammery nature of the ride. Also, it interestingly still runs with the Gerstlaurer trains.

Toadstool Titan is the kind of Maurer X-Car that doesn't really know what it wants to do. The first half is trying to be intense with the tight vertical loop and the 2 impressive inversions over Baby Park, but after that, it just navigates some turns and that's all. It opened in 2004.

Back to good coasters, Chansey's Coaster is an absolute classic. It was made by Philadelphia Toboggity Company in the legendary year of 1969 and does the timeless out-and-back layout. The airtime is shocking, especially on that return run!

Pokémon Trozei is your typical Reverchon Spinning Mouse. Fun dips, janky turns, and some wild spinning. It opened in 2016 as a relocated ride.

Mewtwo's Revenge is also exactly what it says on the tin. A mirror 1998 B&M Batman clone with some really good queue theming.

Wuhu Island Flyover is a Vekoma MK-1200 from 1993 and rides like a Vekoma MK-1200 from 1993. So I can't say I'm entirely disappointed by this experience. Plus, it looks great along the backdrop of the Maka Wuhu structure, which towers next to it. I'm also grateful it uses the Vekoma trains.

The first time I visited Nintendo's Lake Opelucid, I genuinely forgot Rainbow Road was a part of the coaster lineup, mainly because it's an indoor coaster located in a much more isolated part of the park. It's a classic Premier Rides LIM Launch Coaster from 2002 and I love how punchy the launch is.

In terms of flat ride lineup and dark ride lineup, you're actually in for more of a treat than you'd think! I obviously can't review every one of these, so I'll leave you with mentions of the following:

- Banana Scrambler (1964 Eli Bridge Co Scrambler)

- Team Rocket Triple Trouble (1977 HUSS Troika)

• Royal Roundabout (1983 Hrubetz Super Round-Up)
• Kraken Up (1979 Schwarzkopf Enterprise)
• Yoshi-Go-Round (1983 Chance Mini Carousel)
• Dark Lord's Confusion Chamber (1970 Chance Rotor)
• Opelucid Giant Wheel (1973 Schwarzkopf Ferris Wheel)
• Wacky Wii-Motion (1983 Tivoli Orbiter)
• Kapp'n's Kruisers (1978 MACK Sea Storm)
• Luigi's Goal Pole Plunge (1999 S&S Space Shot)
• Wuhu Island Challenge (2003 Barbisand Interactive Dark Ride)
• Blue Shell Swingers (2012 Funtime Star Flyer)
• Mario Medley (1971 MACK Music Express)
• Bowser's Airship (1984 HUSS Pirate Ship)
• Aces High (2019 Gerstlaurer Sky Fly)
• Birdo's Eggery Deggery (1983 Zamperla Junior Ferris Wheel)
• Off The Hook (1967 Eyerly Aircraft Company Monster)
• Manta Maria (1993 Hopkins Shoot-the-Chute)
• Find Mii! (2016 Zamperla Windstarz)
• Mii Planes (1955 Kaspar Klaus Hurricane)
• Cloudtop Cruise (1997 Zamperla Cycle Monorail)
• Baby Park (1999 RE Enterprises Go-Karts)
• Lake Opelucid Skyway (1963 Von Roll Skyway)
• K. K. Rapids (1988 Intamin River Rapids)
• Maka Wuhu (1993 In-House Observation Tower)
• Lakeside Carousel (1952 Philadelphia Toboggan Company Carousel)
• Ankha's Flying Ships (1975 Intamin Flying Dutchman)
• Tortimer's Tumble (1955 Traver Tumble Bug)
• Peach Bomber Bumpers (1973 Soli Dodgems)
• Nook Harbour (1978 Theel Bros. Roundabout)
• Ridiculous Relay (1970 Hampton Rides Roundabout)
• Crossingville Turnpike (1978 Venture Rides Turn Tike)
• Splatfest (2017 MACK Rides Twist N Splash)
• Miitopia (1998 Barbisand Dark Ride)
• Lake Opelucid Railroad (1968 Crown Metal Products Railroad)
• Bowser Jr.'s Hotpot (1973 Arrow Space Whirl)
• Opelucid City Turnpike (1969 Arrow Antique Cars)
• Rosalina's Galactic Tumble (1976 Chance Trabant)
• Diddy Kong's Jungle Jive (1983 Chance Thunderbolt)
• Wuhu Circuit (1996 J&J Amusements Go-Karts)

So YES, you should check this place out!

It is with profound sadness I share that my incredible "thoosie" boyfriend, Frank, has passed. If you're going to Halloweekends at Cedar Point, or whatever your home park equivalent is this weekend, please consider taking a ride in honor of Frank 💙