With both of the Pro-Dommes I've had multiple outcall sessions with I've encouraged/invited them to wear comfy casual Clothes and not to bother bringing Fetishy Outfits to change into. And they were both quite comfortable conducting the sessions wearing anything from Dresses to Jeans and a T-shirt and I was totally satisfied. Is this unusual? Do most customers get a big extra-kick from wild outfits? Does getting dressed in gear help put YOU in the right frame-of-mind? Curious.

Evening,

Forgive me/feel free to remove if this isn't allowed here, I genuinely just do not know where to look anymore and am thinking it may just not exist in this location. Short and sweet-- I'm looking for a proper dungeon space to rent in/around the Pittsburgh, PA area.

I've been recommended what appears to be a gay men's lifestyle club which isn't quite the same thing, or hotels, which I am just not comfortable with and don't do with new subs.

So if anyone can recommend a proper dungeon or simply an established lifestyle space in or even around Pittsburgh, I'd greatly appreciate it.

Cheers

A self-described dom commented to an event I hosted for Thanksgiving. He wrote "A paid Dom, how sad is that, honestly..."

This is my reply to him. Anything else I should add or comment to his public comment?

Update: the troll crawled back into his cave. He had commented that there were other websites where I can post my services. I replied that he’s not a moderator for the group or website (fetlife) so he’s not in a position to censor or dictate what’s posted. Somehow he thinks dick pics are ok but me posting an event is bad. Then poof, blocked me. My subs checked for me, he deleted his comments.

Btw, he said he didn’t see my dm. It’s probably because he gets so few messages that he doesn’t even know where to find them if got any.

Hi everyone! I am so glad I found this community! I tried to comment on the intro post, but I couldn’t figure out where to do so, so I decided to jump in and create my own post.

I’m an aspiring pro currently in Texas, and I’m looking to move back to New Orleans within the next year. I’m developing my dominant side and have started domming virtually. So far, my experience has been with text sessions and ongoing professional dynamics. I like the idea of doing sub training, but I’d also like to learn how to do in-person sessions.

I’m very new to this, but I’m developing a nurturing, Soft Domme persona with hints of Mommy Domme. I’m finding out so much about myself through this journey. I’m a voracious learner, and I don’t want to confine myself to any one box—I want to learn it all!

I’d be so appreciative of any advice on finding a mentor or learning materials I can devour. I’d love hands-on learning, but I’m open to virtual for now. I’d also love some guidance on the different services I could offer as I build my skills.

I have an X account that I’ve just started posting on, and I’ve also been exploring Chyrpe and Reddit. I’d really love any tips, especially your thoughts on virtual dynamics as a starting point and what else might be worth exploring. Thank you!

First off, let me start out by saying how happy I am to have finally discovered this community. I joined Reddit about a week ago, and it has been quite the journey of trial and error.

Secondly, is this a common occurrence, or at least common "enough"?

For context, I've been exploring quite a few communities here, and finally came across a community dedicated to femdom that was discussion-focused and wasn't purely centered around constant porn/content posts.

I made a few good contributions where there were pleasant back-and-forths, and then, it happened... I mentioned that I was a pro-domme.

I got absolutely hammered, and my post immediately got taken down. I wasn't aware that there was such a strict boundary between lifestyle domming and professional domming, and it certainly took me by surprise. We were essentially talking about the same exact experiences, just with a different flavor. I was accused of advertising when literally nothing on my post was requesting people to come to my page - the mention of me being a pro-domme was simply for context in relation to the story I was posting, but nothing I said mattered after that and I was immediately shut out.

This ultimately pushed me away from that community and back on the road to search for other more relatable communities, so... Here I am 🖤

I have been a pro-domme for over a decade and recently have gotten the urge to tour. I've booked a trip in a couple months to France and was hoping to get some advice on touring as a domme. I am sort of doing things comfortably and the change feels daunting to me! Any tips from dommes appreciated, I usually advertise on Tryst.

Hello everyone, I have an interested sub and we already discussed what he wants, and I’m comfortable providing what he’s interested in… He knows I’m not very experienced but he doesn’t know this will be my first session. I was hesitant to outright say I have no experience because I don’t want to plaster a “you can more easily take advantage of me” sign on my forehead but I’m not acting like I have experience I do not either. I’ve been practicing BDSM since the beginning of this year (most of my experience is as a sub but I am a switch and I have some practice as a rope top, I consider myself a service top) but not in this manner, as a service provider, obviously. He’s also aware I don’t have much equipment but I already received a bit of money which I will use to get a couple more things for the session.

I spoke with a more experienced pro Domme and I feel more confident after that already. Could you give me more advice? Perhaps regarding either communication, if he’s asking a bunch of questions about the details of the scene we’ll do, how much should I lay out ahead of time, how much should be kept for the session? Also about planning the scene, the more theoretical knowledge I have as well as common sense tells me that if I make a detailed step-by-step plan, something will surely fall out of bounds of it, it won’t go exactly like that during the session but I need to have a plan still.

I suppose I’m asking for advice on more practical things I maybe am not thinking about, some encouragement and things I should keep in mind.

In a professional context, is it advisable to engage in cuddling as a form of aftercare with a client? I didn't know that was something I would have to do after a session with a client but my mentor told me to do it without any forewarning and I was shocked to learn that this something done in a professional context.

I've just begun seriously thinking about and considering hiring a professional Domme which is not something I've ever hadthedesire to do asI do want areal D/S relationship.

However, I am at a point where I believe it might make sense for me to do in order to live out a very specific fantasy/scene that I very much want to experience at least once in my life.

I'm done some internet searching and have found some Dommes that could fit the bill and provide me the experience that I want and while I am open to travel. The best I've found thus far is in the U.K. and I'm thinking the expense of the trip plus the session might be pushing it for me, plus I need a good amount of time off of work for a trip like that, so while doable, it wouldn't happen for at least a year or two and I'd like this to be something that could happen sooner.

Essentially I am hoping for good resources or ideas to finding a professional Domme in the U.S. that fits my needs. Specifically looking for someone who has the Serious Kit milking setup among other things and has experience doing those type of sessions and scenes. I really want to explore all of the potential options for professional Dommes that I can before making a decision like this and moving forward with it.

I am waiting for approval for Tryst and my adultwork
Is messing up rn- any sites that work for you to advertise on please?
Thank you

Been doing BDSM sessions for a while (online/IRL) and trying to get more clients in Germany.
Anyone has experience promoting themselves on German platforms? Which sites actually work for you?
Do you pay for promotions/ads on them or is it mostly free?

I’m trying to figure out the best way to actually get clients did some research but I’m not sure what’s currently bringing in serious people.

Would really appreciate ur advice or sites that worked for you & tips 🖤

I have a client who is in a relationship where both parties are switches. He wants to learn how to be a sub to her when she takes on a domme role. My clients have been subs who want to be dominated by me, so does the training differ?

So will I be considered less of a pro domme if I, conduct sessions independently not with any dungeon or mentor and commence my journey as a professional domintrix in accordance to it being curated to what I find unacceptable and what I find permissible from slaves/subs?

Like is it a hard fast rule set in stone that pro dommes are expected to peg or hand jerk off their subs during sessions?

My psychology behind not wanting touching or keeping it to absolute minimum is due to personal boundaries as well as it being so undeserving and unworthy of a sub to be touched by me in that manner.

Or do you think I will not succeed with my autocratic decision making in this?

I ask this in the hopes that your opinions as pro dommes can put me in perspective to my journey ahead.

N.B I have stumbled upon a certain domme who has this exact same way of operating, she is a disciplinarian and is rigid about the no touching policy she has and she seems to have done perfectly well if you ask me with her audience. (Referring to UKs oldest dominatrix Mustress Sofia) for reference.

My partner (34m) is into dressing up if female clothes and being dominated. I (32f) am definitely a sub but i enjoy pleasing my partner. He likes to be belittled and hurt (mentally and physically)

I find it hard to be dominant and also forget what's he has said he wanted when were in the moment.

Any advice would be amazing!

Hi all, getting started on my professional domintrix business as I've learnt alot and continue refining my image and branding in the online space. I've always considered IRL sessions so been working on how all this would transpire logistically. So apart from the vetting process and prior discussion with potential clients, how does one protect themselves from legalties should at any time after the transaction is done the client may want to throw toys out their cot or be vindictive or worse maybe even besotted ?

I ask these things with lots and lots of worst case scenarios in mind, I do have a bodyguard but I want to ensure I have a solid plan in place for any mishaps as I am not entirely convinced that any vetting process and trust earned through time online with these clients is sufficient to trust that won't be unstable in future or accuse me of anything that is outlandish even if they've consented to some specific kink play.

I am organically growing this for myself without any vet domme mentor or anyone from my own country therefore I appreciate any insight in layman's terms from existing paid professional dominatrices.

UPDATE EDIT : 21-08-26 Thank you to all who have answered and given insight, alrhough very demotovating I appreciate the facts. I do not have access to anyone in my vicinity who is a pro domme let alone a professional one at that hence the reason for this post and I guess I will have to find a way to get past this huge hurdle if I want to be successful, there are no dungeons here or anything remotely close to what is considered the norm abroad, I figure I'll just carry on with my original plan of having two undercover bodyguards and keeping the location very private and untracebale to the client.

I have a sub I connected with ~6 months ago who wanted an in-person meet. We planned it & he showed up, but when the time came to go in the venue he got scared and left after paying for the full session. We tried 1 more in-person meet & he paid the deposit but later got cold feet AGAIN & cancelled. After we shifted into a virtual dynamic where he paid me for 1 day of texting at a time.

Recently, he found me on a kinky dating app & he pushed for an in-person session again. The way he approached it felt demanding, & because I felt he hadn’t rebuilt enough trust after backing out twice before, I blocked him

After paying my unblocking fee a few weeks ago we have continued with the one-off texting arrangement. Recently I’ve been feeling like a fetish dispenser because our connection only happens when he reaches out, usually late at night, and usually around sexual convos, so a few days ago I reached out platonically to check on him after he mentioned one of his parents has been dealing with medical issues & I suggested we move to a weekly texting arrangement because I wanted more consistency to build trust.

He kept on trying to steer the conversation sexually, and I told him we would need to handle payment before continuing that type of conversation. He wanted to keep the sexy talk going and ‘pay tomorrow’, & so I called him ungrateful and disobedient and deleted his previous spicy messages.

Looking back, I’m wondering if I was being unreasonable for asking for more reliability and connection when he hasn’t followed through with in-person sessions or more than occasional daily texting sessions. I also wonder if I was picking up on manipulation in the moment because I suggested weekly messaging, and he responded by wanting to keep the sexy conversation going while delaying payment.

Another piece of context is that I’ve caught him in some significant lies/inconsistencies from his personal life before where I felt pulled into feeling bad for him, and I’m not sure how much that should factor into how I’m viewing this situation.

Here’s where I need some advice:

- Would you send a repair message or wait for him to reach out?

- Does wanting a weekly text arrangement seem like a reasonable next step for getting to an in-person session eventually?

As the title states, was it better back in the day to be a professional Domme? This is more a question for all the veterans who've been in the industry 8+ years. I've only been in the industry for 2 years and I just personal feel that it was better back then, prior 2020. After covid, lots of things changed and so, how was it for you, the ones who were in the industry prior 2020 or even during covid?

Even though I wasn't in the industry back then, I imagine it was better than today. I can't personally speak on the differences since I've only been doing this for 2 years but just from my observations from reading others experiences, it seems it's not the same from years back.

What are some things that have drastically changed? Is it easier now to be a pro, or was it easier back then? I'm more so speaking of was it easier to get clients and clients finding you? Was the overall experience of being a professional better back then?

Thank you in advance for your responses✨️🫶

EDIT: Thank you to everyone for sharing your experiences and insights.

Hey there!

I want to share a crazy idea and I’d love to know if someone has any advice.

I’m a gay man and mostly sub/masochist although I had my Dom run in the past. I recently went back to my hometown and I found out that the BDSM community here is very limited, even among str8 people. The gay BDSM is inexistent, although I’ve been talking to some guys and they had some exp on it or are curious about it.

What if I try to become a Pro Dom? I don’t know if I have the confidence to be a Dom, I never had actually and when I did was mostly performative and aiming to make other guys cum, but it could be a good way to educate the local gay community about kink and help them experience their desires. Maybe even starting a healthy BDSM scene.

Are there some advice to help me work with a confidence boost? And how to deal with earnings, how much to charge, etc.

I couldn’t find any Pro Dom sub and that’s why I came to here.

My background is in the arts, where apprenticeship and mentorship are often the standard way of learning. You observe, assist, practice, receive critique, and gradually develop your own approach and practice. That’s the environment I’m most familiar with, and it’s how I tend to learn best.

I’ve become increasingly interested in professional domination and have spent quite a bit of time researching the field. One thing I haven’t been able to figure out is whether mentorship is actually a realistic path, or if most people ultimately teach themselves through workshops, independent study, and experience.
I’m not looking for anyone to hand over their business model I’m simply trying to understand whether experienced Dommes ever take on apprentices, allow shadowing, or mentorship. how would someone would respectfully go about finding those opportunities.

If mentorship is uncommon, I’d also love to know what you found most valuable before seeing your first client.
I’m especially interested in learning safely, ethically, and with a strong foundation, so I’d really appreciate hearing from those who’ve been doing this for a while.

Thank you

UPDATE - Thank you everyone for your response I wanted the post to sit for a bit to hear many perspectives. It does seem mentorship is a possibility just a matter of properly searching for someone with whom I have good chemistry and getting more involved in my local community. I’m actually attending an event this Thursday which me luck. :)

Baby prodomme here. Do you request your paying subs to tribute you a birthday gift? I requested that from my serving subs since they don't get sessions.

Now, hear me out, this isn't a advertisement or anything, this is a discussion post. To the mods, I hope you understand this is a discussion post. Thank you.

To continue-

I'm in both sides of Femdom, the lifestyle and the professional side. However, I mostly see posts and people who participate in Femdom in only a lifestyle way here on Reddit. So, I've seen hundreds of comments and post about all different topics. But, one question I always see so many times is "How to find a Domme" or "Where do I look for one". It's literally everyday and it honestly is a bit tiring.

Now, I understand that there's always new people in the community and that's great, what tires me though is the constant complaining that I see in the comments about how they drag the ProDommes. They say things like, "They don't exist and if they do, you gotta pay for them" and honestly other misogyny type of comments.

Look, I understand a person wants to find a partner who is dominate, but the constant complaining about Dommes who charge is so whatever 😒 like, why do you even bother to talk to her if you clearly see her profile states what she does.

Also, I feel as though, if a sub really wants to experience and isn't ready to be committed to someone, they should save up and book a ProDomme. They know they are gonna get exactly what they had always been wanting so why not just save up.

I'm aware not everyone has the privilege to have Professionals near them, so I understand those who vent about none living near them, at the same time, there are Professionals who do online as well, but I also understand it is a different experience, online and in person, but to subs who just complain and complain and live in an area where Professionals live too, it's like, she's right there.

I know there are many other aspects on why a sub wouldn't want to pay for a Professional, one being some get ashamed about spending money on nsfw services, but there really isn't no shame in paying, the sub is gonna get what they want and the Professional does her amazing work.

So, my questions to yall, have any of you ever had the same thoughts or similar? Have you ever gotten a client who complained about paying for your services? Have you ever had a first time client save up to see you?

After working as a Professional Domme for over 25 years, I was happy to find this group online. Back when I started there were no easily accessible online communities for us in the business. Luckily now that is changing, but sadly this group is not at all what I thought it would be. Seems like more lifestyle people who only Dom/me online, not actual sex workers who understand the reality of BDSM work.

And I mean WORK not your personal life in the kink scene. And by work, I mean someone who makes the majority of their income as a Professional Dominant. Anyone else notice the same? Or am I alone in this? I am interested in starting a group where people understand Pro means BDSM sex work, and we can discuss the actual work not the fantasy.