I often think how bizarre a life I led as a Christian, having given my life to Christ at 14 years old looking back recognizing the closing of the mind to the world around me. I see technology advancing our capacity to explore bits of information and lives from the past to the present, I am dumbfounded that isolationist thinking is practiced defiantly in Christianity

Disclaimer: I’m not ex Christian but my boyfriend is and I’m ex Muslim (but I relate more to this sub than the ex Muslim sub as that one often seems to be dominated by ppl who aren’t actually ex Muslim - so I hope you guys don’t mind me posting here!)

So I’m a British Pakistani woman (my family is Sunni Muslim) and my boyfriend is ex Christian (specifically his family are a mixture of Catholic, Jehovah Witness and Pentecostal - his parents are JW so he grew up as a JW).

The other day he and I were speaking about how dangerous purity culture around sex and relationships is. Purity culture teaches us that sex should only be after marriage. It teaches us to only ever have sex with one person. It teaches us not to explore our options. It teaches us sex is dirty.

My bf and I often discuss how much purity culture traumatised us. We thought sex was a sin for so long that it’s taken YEARS to unlearn.

As a woman I think maybe I struggled with this more than him.

TW - SA: My first experience of sex was SA and I was CONSUMED by guilt. It made me reckless as I saw myself as spoilt. I ended up in many dangerous situations.

When your option are - you’re either “Mary the virgin” or “Mary the whore” as religion loves us to believe are the only 2 types of women in the world you inadvertently fall into one and both options are so dangerous.

Regardless of which category you find yourself in, you have no understanding of how to keep yourself safe (particularly as our families avoid the conversation of sex and intimate partner abuse like it’s the plague) and no idea when a situation is becoming dangerous.

I see all the time, women in my family married to awful men and so unhappy but unable to leave because now they are “spoilt goods.”

TW DV: My boyfriend’s cousin who is Pentecostal - her husband pulled a knife on her (we only found out because her mum saw it happen) and she refused to leave him and now is attending some weird church “women struggling in marriage” meetings and her dad agreed with her decision because “marriage is sacred” and he can change?!

Other women (in both my bf’s and my family) saying to you when you break up with an abusive partner: “You need to beg for him to take you back because since you had sex no good man will want you!”…

I guess this is more of a rant than anything but I’d love to hear more opinions on this and see if you guys agree with my bf and I’s pov on this!

I'm 21M, and I'm still having trouble with this for a decade now since I first touched myself. I used to cry every time I did because I was told I'd go blind and I had a huge fear of blindness back then. Anyways, over time it became more a numbing bad feeling as I became chronically depressed (Not anymore today) during my teenage years. Today, I cried before I even did it because I sometimes can't take it anymore. I've written in my journal about it and discovered that it's a cycle for me because sometimes I'd feel good about it and sometimes I get a period of intense repression.

Image explained in example below. What got me out of the flawed Christian logic is ... more knowledge lol.

Example:

• The odds of winning the lottery is rarer than struck by lighting 2x in a row.
• And yet, people still win the lottery.
• With the Christian logic, the lottery winner MUST have known the numbers beforehand, because the chance is so small, it must have been intentional.

Anthropic Principle

The observer's perspective it feels intentional, even though it's well within the realm of random chance. Human bias can conclude incorrectly because the perspective is from the "winner" while not feeling the vast quantities of the "losers"

A year after deconstructing Christianity, I've come to see those teachings are absurd and harmful. Worship and praise songs ,particularly the song amazing grace. I don't get why I should use such self damaging words to feed the ego of an invísible sky daddy, who probably doesn't exist.

I’m in my mid-twenties, and for the first time, I’m finally trying to truly educate myself on…I guess everything. Evolution, science in general, geology, actually reading and understanding the Bible, and more.

I feel like I just never got around to it; I always had something in my life that I wanted to prioritize more over studying the Bible. Hobbies, school, work, relationships, etc. I always knew deep down I was a lukewarm Christian, in a sense faking it, and hearing people talk poorly of Christians like me made me really uncomfortable. I’ve never dated either, because I didn't want a potential break up to cause lots of drama. People always seemed to be unfair towards the girl/woman in the break up/divorce. And Christians guys always had a problem with being really immature, hypocritical, and disrespectful before you even became friends with them. Many were proud of being sexist. I barely read the Bible, I hardly ever listened to worship music (so much of it is boring), but I prayed a lot. I still can’t help but pray.

Even before deconstructing, there were so many things in the Bible that made me angry. Slavery, misogyny, the way marriage back then actually functioned, genocides, lgbtq-phobia, and eternal torment in hell. Why’s it gotta be eternal torment?? Christians always argue "you don't want rapists and evil people to suffer?" and I go "you realize 90% of people in hell are normal people right?" And like…I highly doubt there was a great worldwide flood. And what’s up with the trinity?? That still makes me so confused! I was always so scared of an atheist wanting to argue with me because they would know right away that I was faking it. I knew nothing, and would’ve agreed with them about a lot. But at the same time, there’s also so much about the Bibie that I love.

Everyone, and I mean everyone in my life is a republican, conservative, fundamentalist, YEC, and oftentimes uneducated Christian (so many of my peers were homeschooled). I recently talked to one and broke it to them that the earth is in fact round (vulnerable to conspirasies). One of the biggest churches in town had an Israel flag outside the building for almost a year. All my loved ones are Christians, my family and best friends, everyone I grew up with and know, and I was always the “leftist” Christian who was often told that my empathy and being “overly logical” was getting in the way of being a “real” Christian who could “tell people the hard truths” such as being gay or trans is a sin. Basically getting the Dolly Parton treatment.

I’ve been told I’m not a real Christian for basically all my frustrations and personal morals that don’t align with God’s. I always felt so lonely, that I was going to die alone because no Christian man wants to marry a woman who doesn’t want kids, or a woman who is a “feminist.” And I can’t date non-Christian men as that would make me unequally yoked, and I’d get constant criticisms from everyone I know. I hate living in this small town where gossip is so prevalent. My older relatives are especially very argumentative and overbearing.

I’ve struggled with depression for years from the loneliness and how trapped I feel, plus my spiritual battles. I don’t belong to any community. I try and still don’t fit in, and it’s very likely because I have autism and don’t want to have kids (sensory issues, already have stress and intense anxiety). Being childfree and Christian is a living nightmare, I’ll never find a compatible man. And I always hated alcohol, drugs, and partying, so I won’t fit in with non-believers my age anyway. And a lot of left-leaning people would hate someone like me who used to be republican. “I don’t forgive you” mindset I always see online. One thing that does frustrate me about secular culture is that forgiveness is not a thing a lot of the time, you'll always be a bad person if you did a bad thing in the past, even if you apologize and try to do better. It's purity culture all over again.

And I can’t argue or debate with anyone about all the stuff I’ve been learning while deconstructing. All I get is “if you think God is immoral or wrong, or think some things in the Bible didn't happen, you’re going to hell when you die.” I basically HAVE to believe that everything in the Bible is 100% true and literal, and I struggle with that for obvious reasons. But I refuse to cherry pick too, idk if being a progressive Christian will grant me salvation.

Despite my age, I am still really dependent on my family for everything and I can’t move away anytime soon. I don’t want to completely let go of my faith in case I actually am in the wrong for doing what I’m doing. In case hell is real and I’m going down that path. I’m so scared of dying before I can come to a conclusion. I still like the NT in spite of its flaws, but the OT makes me angry. I wonder how God really feels about me.

I’m so sorry for this being so long, I’m really new to all of this and need to vent. I'm actually really holding back, I'm just so overwhelmed. I honestly don’t know why I’m even bothering deconstructing, I feel like it’s making my mental health much worse, and isn’t improving anything in my life at all. But I'm sick of being on auto-pilot mode.

Agonized
Terrified, horrified, emotions brutalized
Crucified
Nailed to the cross with spikes through my hands
I shall die upon this cross all by myself
Salvation's lost, soon to be dead

Dead

Consider me as another victim of their plans
But my choice is not your fucking Jesus Christ
Now I'm dead, alone and rotting on this cross
But I'll be back

Hell is what I want
Hell is what I get
In the fires I'll burn
But there's nothing I'll regret

Hell awaits me
My soul is raped
I will get them, I will kill them at the end of time
As long as they are free preaching their shit
I'll never find peace

Trinket here! I am making a little post about how Xians seem to want it both ways. God is all knowing and he is not.

So you hear that a lot from Xians. God is testing them, god is testing you, god is testing someone. Or they talk about how god tested this person or that person in the Bible. Why? Why would an all powerful being need to test you? If they know all things, what is the point of the test? If the test is for you to learn and grow, that is not how humans work. Without guidance and clear communication, test like that cause people to double down.

The Bible says that god regrated making humanity before he murdered them all with a flood. How can someone who knows everything ever regret anything? That would be like me having a magic TV that shows what will be live 2 weeks in advance. Then I go get a lotto ticket that is not the numbers shown and regretting not getting the ones it showed. It would be fair of you to question how I regret that when I knew the outcome before I did it.

On that the last point a bit, how can an all knowing being change their mind? I know the Bible says that god can't change his mind. But, it also shows you the times he changed his mind.

When you ask why the Bible says nothing about this or that and they say something about "That was not a big thing at the time the Bible was written." Okay, but it is now. If an all knowing being has such a problem with this thing, according to you, why was it not in the book for when it was a larger factor?

If this all knowing being want's me to go to haven, and gets sad that I am not on that path. Why make me? If they know that I will just make them sad and it ends in eternal suffering, why even cause me to exist? That does not track. Xians love to throw around "free will" when asked this, though that does not effect this at all. They just see the term "free will" as a get out of jail free card. They bring it up when it has nothing to do with the subject matter at hand, every chance they get.

Why did such a being need to slowly ramp up the plagues in Egypt? Or kill all the first born of a nation? Would an all powerful being not know which magic spell would get the wanted results right away without doing murders?

Last one, if god knows all things. And Jesus is god. How does Jesus not know the time of his return? Just saying...

been thinking about this a lot recently after unlocking more abuse memories from my childhood. i imagine if I asked someone this they would just dance around it like they always do…

I said this to someone who is like vaguely religious, more spiritual I guess and they used the whole idea of there being evil forces where there are good forces. but thata just BS since god is supposed to be all powerful and then can’t even control the “bad.”

Is there any conspiracy theory you believe about Christianity that isn't agreed upon by mainstream scholars but you think is real?

Some context, I came out as gay when I was around 15 yo, I’m 23 now. I do not believe in Christianity, hell, heaven, the bible, etc, but my brain had been so rewired growing up in traditional and conservative baptist christianity, that I still to this day continue to have moments where I start saying “welp I’m definitely going to hell”, or I’ll make a snide remark because of something bad that happened whilst looking up at my ceiling as if I’m talking to “god”, or other phrases/habits like that. It’s like my mouth says it before my brain realizes it. I want to stop it, it annoys me and angers me that Christianity had such a chokehold on my childhood that these little sayings and oral habits have become almost inherent to me. I was in therapy for a bit, but stopped just recently. I plan on going back once I’m in a more financially stable place to do so.

Does anyone have any advice? 🫶

Edit: thank you for everyone’s advice, I will literally be trying all of these tips, y’all the best 💕

I cannot worship any god that knowingly slaughters children for any reason whatsoever, even if those children mocked and ridiculed the priests or prophets of that deity. Children are learning what it means to be human. They are learning how people conduct themselves. If any god does not know or understand the importance of learning or how learning works, that deity is not worthy of veneration because this suggests a profound ignorance of the human experience. And this is rather bizarre considering the gods are supposedly of infinite intelligence.

If any deity does not appreciate children ridiculing its priests and prophets, that deity (assuming it is truly omniscient) should use the opportunity to teach those children about tolerance, about respecting all humans. If mere mortals can figure this out, then surely an allegedly all-knowing supernatural entity understood this before eternity began. And if artificial intelligence can study human knowledge and then parrot this back to inquisitive souls, then surely an omniscient deity knew this before humans could imagine nonhuman intellects.

Moreover, if the gods are truly intelligent, they would understand that children are learning how to behave primarily by imitating their elders. This includes not only the behaviour of their parents and guardians, but also the behaviours of priests and prophets whose conduct likely influences the children’s primary caregivers. This means that if a deity does not like the way children are treating their priests and prophets, that god should either look in the mirror or take the matter up with the other gods.

The worst part is that if I did something that horrific, not only would human justice punish me but religious people and their priests would be exhorting their god (the same entity that slaughtered children in centuries past) would punish me with eternal damnation.

For these reasons, I cannot in good conscience worship any deity that savagely slaughters children for any reason whatsoever. Personally, I think that any supernatural entity that allegedly knows infinitely more than I do should be teaching children, their parents and their priests to be tolerant of others, particularly those of another custom. Nor can I support any religion, nation or society that celebrates any god that slaughters children for any reason whatsoever.

Instead, I need a spiritual role model that celebrates childhood, a model that understands childhood growth and development. I also need a spiritual model that preaches tolerance for our differences, especially when those differences cause no physical or psychological harm. Above all, I need a spiritual paradigm with higher moral standards than I possess, something that will challenge me to become a better human being.

What do you think?

My atheist belief: I believe in zero gods and belong to no relgion. I do not believe in sin or divine punishment. I think its personally made up by man as in humans to control and make other humans submit to evil people in power.

I think science is really the best and only thing at explaining things we can't really figure out there is no need for relgion to step into the game of science. I personally need solid proof of a god or gods existence before dedicating my life to something. ( yeah i've been told irl i am supposedly 'selfish' for wanting proof lol. Yeah by my own mom. )

Blind faith isn't enough to satisfy my need for a 100% proof. I always had red flags set off in my mind when people say 'you need more blind faith.'

Basically i just think relgions are cults used to hold back humanity from advancing and making life better for ourselves. Cause we think we are constantly being judged & stalked.

My agnostic side: I cannot totally debunk all relgions for being fake along with christianity. I can't know for certain if a god dose or dose not exist. Multiple gods or a singel god. So just cause i am atheist and i personally believe there is no god watching every single thing i do. I can't be a 100% certain they exist.

( even if every relgion was true. I'd still be an atheist. )

Just saying. I found him recently thanks to that whole Joe Schmidt conversion bullshit and I've been hooked ever since.

Honestly, ten years ago I had my own podcast interviewing people who deconverted from Christianity. I called the portion of the pod where I interview deconverters the "Ex-Files"... Yeah, I know... super original. But it was fun. It got all of my angst about religion out of me. We were starting to gain traction and even got a shoutout from another pod before my schedule changed and my co-host and I couldn't do it anymore.

But honestly, I loved it. It helped me vent. I talked with a lot of people from ALL walks of life. Not just Christians. And it was awesome.

I THOUGHT my days of being an angsty, atheist ex-Christian were over. That I could just chill, do my own thing, let Christians do their own thing... and that would be that.

But apparently not.

Now we have Christian Nationalists who haven't a fucking clue about running a country, running America straight into the fucking ground.

We have an American named Joe Schmidt, whom I hadn't even fucking heard of prior his money-enhancing, Patreon-bullshitting "reconversion" telling everyone that the "Majesty of Reason" wants you to know that God himself signed a letter in blood that Catholicism is the one true religion.

Fuck off.

And then I discovered MindShift. This dude is so chill when he talks. Soothing almost. He doesn't get mad. He doesn't let his emotions show. He's not a monotone robot either though.

I don't know how he does it. And I thought I was done listening to people talk about Christianity like I had done myself a decade ago.

But this guy is legit and if you're questioning whether or not to deconvert, GO TO HIM!

Its something i never understood. Do they want money? Us to treat jesus like a king just cause he suffered?

Like i genuinely don't know what they are hoping to accomplish but sayin this especially to atheists like me and other's non relgious or other religions.

Like ok? And? Is usually my response. idgf if jesus 'suffered' we humans suffer everyday he isn't special.

Im not about to role out a red carpet for him.

I genuinely and honestly don't give a fuck if some random guy died for me. Why would i be happy a person dies? If they expect me to react with joy?

Any person who responds with joy at death needs mental help.

Edit: i mean in all honesty i find jesus's 'death' a bit forced upon on us. I mean we some how have to understand how this is our 'fault' when its all gods really. I mean i bet i can speak for many of us here saying we did not ask this guy to die for us. I don't view this as an act of love. Rather i view it as an act of 'worship me and love me against your wills'. Except this forced gift.

I'm sure many people here are dealing with this in some shape or form, so how do you make peace with having bigoted christian parents, because it's genuinely making me miserable all the time. Ever since deconstructing, my relationship with my parents has gone completely downhill. I really think their veiws are reproachable, and I've lost all respect for them. I will probably never tell them I'm an atheist, but if they found out they would hate me. Just looking at them makes me miserable. How do I deal with these feelings? I still live with my parents and I will for the foreseeable future, so I can't avoid them. I care about them so much, but it hurts knowing they're spreading their hateful religion around, and believing all these horrible ideas. I don't know how to be around them without feeling depressed. Do I just try ignore the bad parts of them and focus on the good? Any advice? Do you have a relationship with your christian parents? What worked for you?

So y'all, I've deconstructed, I fully can NOT believe the bible bs, but there's one thing i need help with. Jesus. We know he was real, and a lot of people claim he was for sure crucified and for sure people saw him afterwards which means he rose again. And there's the Shroud which I found fascinating as a kid and only just remembered while I was showering today (as it often goes). Andbthe miracles too. Cause they seem unbelievable, but something must've happened, right? I mean if he said "Hey watch me resurrect this dead guy" and nothing happened, I imagine he wouldn't have had a very large following. In the end, he said he'd return in his disciples lifetime and didnt, and it seems pretty convenient that he only (allegedly) hung around a couple weeks after (allegedly) resurrecting before he ascended. But i dont have any solid way to disprove all this stuff the way i can, say, the flood or eden. Like i know he was real and I think he generally had some pretty great life advice but I dont think he was god or that he resurrected. Thoughts?​

Edit: Okay, thank you guys so much. I basically was asking cause I just wanted to know like the best arguments against Jesus resurrection and if he even existed, mostly cause I'm constantly hearing that we have a bunch of historical evidence for his existence. I just want to make it clear I do NOT believe he did resurrect, or that he was god, or that he did a bunch of miracles. I just struggle to explain why when I'm put on the spot. But y'all have been super helpful, ty 🖤

For those of you who have left christianity, were you ever involved in this movement?

For those not in the know, this is the theological underpinning behind the Republican / Christian attempt to take over and remake the US government. These people are convinced that they have a mission from God to conquer the seven 'mountains' of human culture.

I mean, come on, never mind that the Bible actually says that the whore of Babylon sits upon the seven mountains. I guess they're going to knock her off of them?

Before I left the church around 2010, the one I was attending had been involved in it for several years and was just getting deeper. The pastor did not have any sort of theological training, he had a master's degree in nuclear engineering and was a former GE exec. Anything any of these people taught he just swallowed it and let it happen. I think the only thing he drew a line at was the fact that the sound guy and myself reported that one of his guest speakers had pushed us over under the guise of 'being slain in the spirit.'

The insane amount of cherry picking Christians do towards the Bible needs to be studied. Whenever you press them on the disgusting stuff in the Old Testament and why they don’t follow it they say Jesus came with the new covenant, the old covenant was for the Jews not us. Hmm okay… The Old Testament is more than 70% of the Bible in most denominations. It includes crucial books like Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Deuteronomy, Psalms, Isaiah, etc… If you take the Old Testament out then the whole Bible falls apart and their whole theology does so too. Also in the NT there are several instances where Jesus upholds the mosaic law and quotes the OT. Christian’s literally treat the Ten Commandments as binding and they follow them. So here comes the question, why do u quote Leviticus, Exodus, Genesis, Proverbs, and others to justify your actions and political motives if you’re only gonna follow what aligns with your motives. Why not follow the other barbaric stuff in the OT. What is this severe case of picking and choosing. This literally diminishes all your credibility as a Christian…..

Sunday school covers Noah’s ark and David and Goliath. It tends to skip the prophet who sets two bears on 42 boys for calling him bald (2 Kings 2:23–24).

What’s the one that stopped you in your tracks? Add the reference so the rest of us can go and read it.