I’m (straight/hetroflexible female) going to an LGBT event on Friday with my boyfriend (only of six months)…it will be our first… we are feeling the water because we’ve realized until he explores he can’t settle into us….

Anyways, am I crazy to think I could be a wingman for him? Possibly bringing in a bi-man to the dynamic for some exploration?

Ladies…has anyone navigated this dynamic?

We won’t know how either of us feels until we are in these situations.

I’m trying to navigate a new relationship with a bi man (I’m a straight female)…. He told me very early on in the relationship He’s always questioned his sexuality… He would describe himself as pansexual, he’s had experiences with men throughout his life and a trans woman.
He was married to a woman for 20 years. Since a young age has never felt fully straight. We have an incredible connection, the most amazing sex of both of our lives…

He’s just having trouble fully settling into the relationship because he’s feeling like he needs to figure out who he is and what he likes… It’s hard for him to even put his finger on what he’s looking to discover. I think sometimes he just has trouble accepting and loving himself as he is. He’s 59-year-old who grew up in London… It was a different time back then so I think there was a lot of suppression in his early life that his led to a lot of shame.

Anyways, I’m just trying to support him. I’m going to buy sexual event with him next week. We’ve had somewhat of a tumultuous time together since meeting six months ago, almost breaking up. A lot of him feels like he won’t be able to figure himself out unless he’s alone, but we both can’t seem to stay away from one another. One thing I know for sure is he loves me, worships my body, definitely loves pleasing women…there’s no question about that.

I just don’t want to be the reason he’s not ‘figuring himself out’.
Any advice is welcome.

We have been open for a long while…we both get tired of guys often assuming ‘oh you are a cuck couple?’ No…just open. Hell, a few just couldn’t grasp that was possible. We even say up front ‘not a cuck couple’ and will be asked the next day ‘does he like knowing you are getting a big dick?’ Come on, guys. Stop.

Interesting reading the comments: basically it’s simple : often guys tend to not read it or as mentioned , read it as their brain wants to read it.

My wife and I have been married for 20 years and are still deeply in love. Recently, my wife has started discovering and exploring her bisexual side, and I’m completely supportive of her. I know that her wanting to explore this part of her sexuality doesn’t change the bond we have together.

That said, we’re very early days with all of this and want to take things incredibly slowly. We’re really just trying to learn from people who have been through something similar.

Is this a good subreddit for us to connect with other couples in this situation, or with bi women who have experience navigating this within a long-term marriage? Are there other Reddit communities you’d recommend?

We’re also a little nervous about the online side of things. We got together before online dating was really a thing, so we’ve never used dating apps or anything like that. We’re in our 40s and feel very much out of our depth with how all this works.

So, when my wife eventually feels ready to actually make contact with another woman, where do people recommend starting? Are dating apps the way to go? Are there particular apps or subreddit communities that are more suitable for women in this situation? We now live hours away from a major city, and even then, it's not a particularly progressive, open-minded city, so we're not even sure of ways to meet people naturally.

We also know there’s plenty of catfishing and men pretending to be women online, so that makes us a little nervous. Neither of us is particularly tech-savvy, and we’re not especially comfortable putting photos of ourselves online unless it’s somewhere we feel genuinely safe.

And just to be clear, we’re not necessarily looking for a “unicorn” or trying to find someone to add to our marriage. I’m not looking to join in with another woman myself. My role is really to support my wife and be there beside her while she explores this side of herself, whatever that eventually looks like for us.

We’d really appreciate hearing from couples or bi women who have been in a similar position, particularly any advice about taking those first few steps safely, respectfully and without rushing into anything.

We’re so excited to share that we had the great honor of being guests on the United Bi Swinging Podcast!

We had such a wonderful conversation about bisexuality, mixed-orientation relationships, our own story, and the importance of creating space for honest, open conversations about relationships and identity.

While we ourselves are not in the swinging lifestyle, we were grateful for the opportunity to share our experience and help bring more visibility, understanding, and hope to the mixed-orientation relationship community as a whole.🩷💜💙

We can’t wait for you to listen!

Listen here - United Bi Swinging: Bisexual Men in the Swinging Lifestyle 🎙️🎧
Check out their subreddit here - r/United_Bi_Swinging
Check out our website here - MORandmore.org

I apologise for being it a long poat. I am asking this for a friend.

Imagine a situation where a married couple in their mid 30s are head over heels for each other. They are monogamous. They are strongly in love with each other.

They had amazing sex all the time. Their dynamics in bedroom are mostly femdom sex with some kinks.The wife is the top and the husband is the bottom in the relationship. They participate in some bdsm too. They do pegging most of the time.

Now the wife has a long fantasy of seeing the husband has sex with another man. She would like to see her man get fucked by another man.

So, she proposed a bisexual mmf threesome.

But the issue is that the husband think bringing another person in the bedroom may create issues in their monogamous lifestyle. He has heard that it may causes jealousy in some other couples. That is why he feels reluctant towards it. But the wife ensures that she will not be jelous at all rather it is one of her life's biggest fantasy and it will be too hot for her. Also points to be noted that the man is confident with his sexuality and he is bicurious. The wife has no problem with his bisexuality.

As he is a little reluctant So, wife has proposed certain rules. Where the husband will be in the middle, she and the man will make out with the husband. Then she would watch her man get fucked first after that she will join the fuck by spitroasting him by pegging him at the same time. She may try double penetration on him too. And the wife will have no toucing with the man.

They are still in the discussion mode. Now the question is, will it hamper the health of their relation? And if they invite another man will it better if he be one of their friends or some unknown man from any dating apps?

Thanks in advance for your suggestions.

My husband and I are both 34 and were married last year after dating a few years. A couple months ago he came out to me as bi. He told me he’d never told anyone before (aside from those he’d hooked up with), but had wanted to tell me. When he told me, he was very distressed and upset and I (pleasantly) surprised myself by being quite calm and supportive - offering him water, telling him to take his time. I gave him a big hug and we went back to bed to sleep.

I’ve had time to mull the information over and I’m willing to continue the relationship, though I did mention I wish he’d been upfront when we first started dating. At the same time, I understand the stigma and his hesitance to be open about that part of himself. His family and many people where we live are not generally accepting of bisexuality.

Now that I know, our sex life has evolved to incorporate more of what he likes, which I find incredibly hot and fulfilling. I love seeing him enjoy himself!

What I’m struggling with, is figuring out where my “line” is regarding his personal activities. He wants to message guys and hook up with them. I’m not sure how I feel about that. I instinctively shy from the term “open relationship”. I suppose the idea of sharing him both excites and scares me. On one hand, I’d encourage him to go out and share himself with other people - he’s hot and funny and an attentive lover and generally a lovely human. He deserves to be experienced for the glorious person he is. On the other hand, I worry about things like STDs or his sexual needs becoming something that trumps other parts of our relationship.

- For those of you in long-lasting and strong relationships who also sleep with others, how did you find out what boundaries work best for you?
- And how do you ensure you’re staying safe and healthy?

I’m excited to explore this new world with him, but I have some trepidation as it is new and unknown and I’m uncertain how to navigate it.

Any advice on which conversations to have, questions to ask him (or myself), how to relax and enjoy the ride while being aware of what feels “off” or uncomfortable, how to ensure we’re both staying clean and healthy, and/or ways to help him feel encouraged and accepted, would be super appreciated.

Thx, loves.

This is my first time using reddit, I am glad i found this space. My Wife and I have been married for almost 20 years, together for 30. A few months ago she sat me down, and said she is bisexual, she had developed feelings for a women she sees on a daily basis, and expressed those feeling to that person. That women is married to another women, and they have since developed a close friendship that they both really value. This was, to say the least a shock to my system, and I have since been dealing with anxiety, among many other emotions that are playing out in my head. Its not so much that she told me she was bisexual, its more of a what does this mean to our future etc. Any guidence on working through this would be most welcome thank you.

(M20), so i met some people in college, we became close friends, it was going well for a while, but then came the topic of sexualities, most of them were LGBTQ+, i was one of the only straight ones, now before u get mad at me for venting cuz im straight, i understand that LGBTQ+ people are way more important,uhm, they kind of got too far, they kept saying im homophobic or a bigot just because im straight, im not an ally,but i support LGBTQ+ (FYI,an ally is someone that is straight but participates in LGBTQ stuff, like parades, i am not that, but i support you), they forced me to be bi, but I never felt any attraction towards the same gender, so i kinda forced myself to be aroace for a bit.

Is it wrong for me to be straight? If u dont like me being straight, thats ok.

New to this sub and not entirely sure what I am trying to find out, I am 48 m straight, current partner of 6 years is bi though mainly has dated males. Previous long term partner was also bi as have virtually all my previous partners and even casual short term flings, this has never been a conscious decision and I don't think its any kind of fetish in every case it has come up after we have got together or at least started chatting, I have never shared a partner as it doesn't appeal in a relationship and they have all been monogamous whilst together, just interested if anyone else has noticed this pattern in themselves.

We’ve been married for 18 years(im 39, he’s 52), have two kids. Our sex life has always been extra spicy. He’s always fantasized about sharing me with another man, and about 5-6 years ago we started doing that. Once-twice a year. Sometimes he’d be away for work and arrange for the guy to drop by, and Imd get to tell him about it afterwards.

So after 5-6 years of this, he’s just shared with me that maybe he could touch the other guy too. How would i feel about it. What would i find more exciting, him giving the other guy a BJ or the other way around.

And I gotta say, in my MMF romance novels, this is super hot. But hearing my husband (who’s been adamant about never touching a man) say these things has definitely thrown me a bit… i’m in a place where i’m wondering if this is where it was always headed. If this will be my life now, if instead of feeling worshiped, I’ll start feeling like the means to an end.

Anyone else here with similar concerns/experience?

Would love to see some positive vibes for us MOR people who are loving it!

Hello r/StraightBiPartners ! The van Anders Lab is conducting a study to explore the experiences of people who have "plurisexual" partners (e.g., your partner is bisexual, pansexual, and/or is attracted to, partnered with, and/or engaging in sexual or romantic behaviours with people of more than one gender or sex) in Canada and the US.

You may be eligible to participate if you are:

1. 18 years or older
2. Able to communicate in English
3. Able to access the internet using a phone/tablet/computer
4. Partnered with someone who is plurisexual, bisexual, pansexual, and/or has an identity or orientation that includes being attracted to, partnered with, and/or engaging in sexual or romantic behaviours with people of more than one gender and/or sex.

Interested participants will complete an online screener survey (~25 mins)

Eligible participants will be invited to participate in an online interview (~60 mins) and will receive $40 USD or $55 CAD via gift card. If you meet the eligibility criteria listed above, please send us an email at [pluripartners@queensu.ca](mailto:pluripartners@queensu.ca)

This study has received ethical approval from the Queen's General Research Ethics Board (GREB). If you have any other questions, please feel free to email us at [pluripartners@queensu.ca](mailto:pluripartners@queensu.ca)

Thanks!

(this post has been approved by the moderators)

Straight monogamous woman married for 34 years. Stayed in what appeared to be a heteronormative marriage despite partner's porn use, and cheating, and periodic crossdressing. 2 years ago, after noticing behaviours suggestive of new infidelities, discovered he was having hookups with random men. This was devastating for me in all the ways infidelity hurts, and also because I believed we had truly reconciled, and he was both honest and faithful after the previous 3 year affair was discovered. I confronted him about it, have been in therapy for the loss, and betrayal, and new revelation of partner's bisexuality. He refuses couples counselling. I keep telling him that the worst thing for me is the lying and the secrecy. I offered him ENM and he refused, as he doesn't want to share his secrets with me and he doesn't think I could "handle it" anyway. He says he hasn't been with a real person since the discovery 2 years ago, and despite ongoing phone sex, squirt chats when on vacation together etc, loves me and wants to take care of me "forever". Now I learn through shared electronics that he has resumed a sexual relationship with a previous male partner. Prior to this we talked about separation/divorce and I thought we agreed we didn't want that. But now I just feel he will never be honest, and I will never know the truth. Am I supposed to just keep changing to accommodate him? Give up my personal values? Keep wanting to be intimate with this person who seems to have little regard for my emotional safety or health? There are moments where I resent him so much. How do people make it work?

I have Been on Reddit for a while now and now I have been exploring abit more and I think I’m into more stuff now how do I tell my gf

What do we do with the grief of what might have been?

Coming out or embracing your identity later in life can bring unexpected grief for the experiences you missed. But acknowledging that grief doesn’t mean rejecting the life you have now.

Sometimes, healing begins by honoring what was lost while making room for what’s still possible.

Read the full blog → Exploring and Releasing Queer Grief